Harley - Boat Captain 01

Harley - Boat Captain 01

Hi, I'm Harley and although my life lacks a lot of social interactions, I manage to maintain a few friends and neither of them complain much about my addiction to wearing female clothing and makeup. I have a place on the north end of the Middleton River, I have family textile business money, I have flat bottom river boat and I never have socials, but once a season, I have the opportunity to support a local fund raiser that supports the local food bank.

Oh no, I don't exactly get to attend the afternoon event that the "well to do" Patterson's sponsor on their huge river side estate on the first Saturday of every June, but I have managed to act as a river chauffeur for my Quinn and a load of fresh cheeseburgers from the burger barge that sits in the river.

Now, let me try to quickly sum up the annual event for you. It's basically a fancy garden party for the other "well to do" families around Middleton, it's basically an entire afternoon of the high society folks in their expensive garden party outfits mingling up near the main house in the fancy garden area, LOL, drinking afternoon cocktails and bragging about all the donations that each of them is responsible for. LOL, it's good work, if you can get it.

And quite honestly, the fund raising seems to work, so more power to the stuff shirts, the white shorts and the chiffon sun dresses.

My interest is the "well to do" pretty people's offspring, who hang out much closer to the river bank and the dock and notice I didn't say I was mad about them. LOL, however, it does make me a little mad that they have a DJ and a film crew to entertain and record the social event, but again, it's good work if you can get it, so let the dance party continue. Or beach dance party should I say because the younger crowd tended to dress in beachwear, LOL, not that hired film crew had anything to do with that, right?

So, here's how I fit into the event. First, apparently, it seems to be a "thing" to arrive at the river bank party by way of the river water and one's coolness gets jacked up, so ta, da, the fem boy has a river boat. Not that my friend Quinn would ever think that way.

And secondly, well, they are still young adults and the burger barge does whip out some very tasty burgers, so ta, da, the fem boy will do it, right? Not that I could tie off my boat and join in on the fun, but no one ever tried to push me out of my own boat as we handed off the boxes of paper wrapped burgers.

And I'm not mad and not ashamed to admit that a few of the cool people are actually pretty cool and I have received a few small hand waves, quick head nods and a couple of glances, so without a social life, I take what I can get. Wait, let me try this. Hi, I'm Harley, I'm the captain of my own river boat and sometimes people notice me.

And yes, I like a bright face so people might notice me, although my clothing choices might make you think that I'm a landscaper, LOL. No, seriously, I said, LOL, so LOL, right? Unless you just said in your head "hey, check out the smooth legs on that landscaper" or something nice like that.

Anyways, my passengers for that Saturday were Quinn, a long-time friend who could care less about how I live my life, although sometimes I think she appreciates my family's textile business money and her friend Mindi, who is pretty cool, although she can be a busy body and a little nosey.

I hate admitting that I was just a chauffeur for the day, but the girls deserve to be at such a high society party and who knows, maybe someone will ask me if I want a bottle of water or something while we're passing off the cheeseburgers. I mean, it could happen, right?

Now, the coolness thing always confused me because between Quinn and Mindi parking at my place and then the back and forth for the 3 hours party, I mean fund raiser, well, it seemed like a lot of steps to take just to raise the coolness bar, but whatever.

"Alright girls, we're almost ready to shove off, so use the bathroom if you want to and I'll just check the fuel tank one more time."

"OMG Harley, when I asked you to dress a little more conversative, I didn't mean those board shorts! Were you going to do some landscaping or something after you chauffeur us up the river? I laid out another pair of shorts on your bed. Someone is going to talk to you one of these days, you know and I'm sure you don't know the landscaper language."

Yeah, damned if you do, damned if you don't, right? Oh, and like I said, Mindi was a busy body and just a tad nosey.

"And Harley, while Quinn was in your bedroom snooping around, well, as you can see, she doesn't have a secret surprise bag in her hands and everyone knows that you always get Quinn a secret surprise, so what's the deal? And by the way, I'd slip your sissy ass a little tongue tip too if I ever got invited to one of your secret meetings. Not that I know anything."

LOL, girl talk, right? Anyways, don't listen to Mindi, LOL, there are no secret meetings between Quinn and I. I mean, she knows how to say good bye alright and she would die if our secret meetings ever got out, but believe me, there are no secret meetings.

"Oh, I hid it in under my bed because the T-Girl at the clothing store was being way too generous with way too much exposure of way too much bare ass cheek for such a garden party fund raiser event, so I'll be sure that Lizzie is more conservative next time."

"Well, didn't Lizzie include sheer beach wraps? And Sandals? And belly chain jewelry? And matching beach earrings? And cute little garden beach party bags with sunscreen and over-sized sunglasses? Not that I know anything, of course."

And while Mindi lured me into that foolish back and forth, which you might notice was a lot more forth than back, LOL, Quinn, who knew everything, and who was supposed to be selecting a pair of modest shorts for me, well, she found the bag.

"Ah, Mindi????"

"Yes, Quinn? Did you find the secret bag? Not that I know anything about any such secret bag."

"Ah, Mindi, I'm going to need a quick trim shave to wear this bikini, so we might be fashionably late. So, you trim me and I'll trim you????"

"Why Quinn? Do we love Lizzie the T-Girl? And are the guys going to love us today? Does Harley get an extra moment today for one of your famous good byes, not that I know anything about that."

"Aye, aye, captain, AYE, AYE, captain and don't tease me about how I say good bye to Harley, not that you know anything. Also, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye! Ah, Harley, we're going to need a few minutes, so go check that fuel level and the life vests, say hello to your neighbor and for Pete's sakes, that's not a proper afternoon shade of lip gloss! Come on Mindi, I know where Harley keeps his personal shavers."

Again, I don't have much of a social life, so when Mindi passed by me with a huge smile and a hand across my face, well, I take what I can get, right? Not too many people touch me, so, right?

"And change your shorts, sugar momma Harley."

Anyways, LOL, yup, we were going to be fashionably late, but that seems to be the normal anyways, so whatever, right? At least we were on the water and heading up river. Oh, and by the way, with my captain's chair midway between the bow and stern, well, they both took the two bench seats in the bow, so I had a nice view.

"Shoot! Harley! Slow down!"

"What Quinn? Do you see a log in the water?"

"Ah, no, but I think that is Kevin standing on the deck."

"So, he'll probably help steady the boat as the two of you depart."

"Geez, quick, push your hair behind your ears and put your sunglasses and OMG, roll the cuffs of your shorts up at least one roll. Damn it, slow down."

"Huh? What am I missing? Am I going to hit a floating log or not, Quinn?"

"Seriously, Captain Harley? Is this the time to have "the talk" with you? Geez, pull the left side of hair from around your ear and smile, damn it. Help him, Mindi!"

"Oh no, nobody stands while the boat is in motion, it's not safe. Anyways, Kevin? What? Should I put behind both ears or not?"

"Ooh, la, la, Harley has a boyfriend in waiting!"

"Shut it, Mindi. I'm docking now, so quiet. I am the poster child for water safety."

"Yeah? And Kevin may or may not want to dock you, so smile and OMG, take those ridiculous sunglasses off. By the way Harley, ah, you haven't said one way or other how we look."

Not to worry folks, I am all about water safety, so I blocked all of their jibber jabber out. I mean, I had one eye on Kevin and the other on the dock post, but I did it all very safely. And maybe I took a quick peek at the girls and yes, LOL, Lizzie knows how to pick out risky bikinis.

"Toss Kevin the rope, Quinn. Ugh, damn it, or just let Kevin dangerously jump in the boat like that. Kevin, WTF?"

"Ah, take it easy Captain Harley, I got your ropes! And by the way, I practice safe sex, I mean water safety and I'm trying to de-board two of your extremely lovely passengers, so would you please cut the motor for safety purposes?"

Oh, oh, that SOB, right? I'm the poster child! But oh, such a gentleman he was as he gently helped the girls up and out of the boat. I mean, Paul and Frank would been groping and stuff, right?

Also, ah, it seemed like the entire party was finding their way to the dock as Quinn and Mindi came into view, including Paul and Frank, who better realize how lucky they are. And yet, I still had the very crazy and dangerous Kevin to deal with.

"Alright Captain Harley, it's me and you to the burger barge and Julia called in extra cheese fries, so we may to scoot closer together on the ride back. So, shall we shove off, Captain Harley?"

OMG, that's sex, right? I mean, his eyes, his hand movements, that's sex, right? But the crowd came to my rescue, even if it was Paul who would be first to come to my rescue and put the risk of sex behind me.

"Captain Harley."

"Captain Paul. Another successful and safe passage."

"May the river currents be with you today, Captain Harley."

Seriously? That's my savings grace from river date sex on the river?

"Oh no, wait Harley!"

Ahh, finally, my friend Quinn to the rescue.

"Ah, Paul guys, I'm calling a cone of silence. I need to talk to Harley."

"And just what secrets would my best girl and Captain Queer have that me and the entire crew can't hear?"

"Look, Paul, I'm sucking your cock in the bath house this afternoon, so give me this one! And you guys too!"

Ah, and that saves me how? And why didn't one single person back away? And how is it that these beautiful people get to look that way? And is Josh seriously eyeing up Mindi's butt through her sheer bikini wrap? And do all the "well to do" people look so fit and trim all the time? And does Julia really have a six pack?

"Cone of Silence in place! Release the Kraken! Safely speak your piece in total confidence with the questionable Captain Harley, just as he safely delivered you to the party, Quinn."

Yeah, Captain Paul may have lived once before, like in 1757 or something, but he's pretty cool. But finally, right? Quinn was going to ask someone else to take the boat ride with Kevin and I and my nerves would settle back down.

"Um, Harley, ah, did I forget our donation checks on your kitchen table or something? I mean, how are Mindi and I supposed to give the old guys who collect the donation checks heart attacks while we are wearing such revealing bikinis if I forgot the checks?"

And there goes my hope for humanity. And my virginity.

"Ah, geez Quinn, bottom of your cute little garden party bags. OMG, ah, Kevin, release the Kraken and the ropes, I guess."

And then I started to tear down all of my water safety posters because Julia just jumped in the boat as Kevin was releasing the Kraken and I'll telling you people, this behavior on the water is dangerous.

"I have the helm, Captain. Get in the back, you know, on that cozy little bench seat."

"But Julia, this is..."

"I'M PILOT and the two of you are figuring things out in the back seat! And by the way, I'm borrowing this bad boy next weekend, so keep your insurance updated."

Sassy Pilots, right?

Well, when you sit in the rear bench seat, you have two choices. Talk over the sound of the motor or as Julia said, shut it and figure things out. And sometimes, words are not required, I guess.

Also, men's surfer swim shorts shouldn't be so baggy, although he clearly wanted me to prove or disprove how easily one could run one's hand up a leg so easily. Which was one thing for sure, but when he pulled me over for a kiss, I don't know, it felt like a natural response. And no, it wasn't much of a kiss, but he wasn't afraid to plant his lips on mine and that was another first for me.

And yes, I'm avoiding talking about the first cock I touched or gently stroked because that seems like a point of no return and I'm not ready to admit that I may or may not have texted Quinn and asked her if the bath house was empty. Also, Kevin sent that text, but from my phone.

Now, as nice as it was to be actually touched by someone and to actually touch someone, LOL, when the throttle goes down on a boat, you know it. And sweet little Julia didn't say a word nor did she turn around, not that the burger barge workers couldn't see how cozy Kevin and I were on the small rear bench seat.

"Hey, bitch, eyes on me! There's nothing to see in the rear of the boat."

"Sorry Miss, ah, here is your box of burgers and OMG, a lot of cheese fries. Paid in full plus tip, so motor boat on."

"You want to motor boat me, bitch?"

"Sorry again Miss, it was just a play on words, unless you're single, that is. I mean, I am clocking off."

"Captain Harley? Permission to board a stow away?"

"Granted. Will the Pilot stop looking in the mirror? I know I don't know what I'm doing and I don't need your eyes to remind me of that. Also, does the stow away have any extra paper towels?"

"Stow away???? Eyes on me, stow away!"

Really? Are we on the high seas or the lazy Middleton River? But the stow away took care of that and away we were back up river and by the way, wiping off a guy is basically just like giving him another hand job, right?

"Damn, what the hell took you guys so long and why did you bring a stow away from the burger barge? OMG, those burgers smell so good! Give me that box. I mean, that fancy finger food sucks!"

"This is Stow Away and he's my boyfriend for the afternoon. Stow Away, grab us some burgers and fries and give T-Ball the box. T-Ball, I'm going on a date to Harley's house, so give everyone my best."

Oh, so the Pilot is piloting us back to my place, huh?"

"And tell Quinn and Mindi to text me when they are ready to depart. I'm responsible for them today."

"Ah, yeah Harley, I can see what you're responsible for, so have a good time on your dates."

And who knew that my river boat handled like that? Ah, not me because I would never pilot a boat as such nautical speeds while making a U-Turn. Not to mention that I would never side slip a boat right up to the dock like that, even though it was cool as hell, but unsafe.

"Tie her boys. Harley, I've never been in your house before, so is there a room available? And I'm sure I would recognize which bedroom is yours."

"Um, aye, aye, pilot, I guess."

"And by the way, it's a blow job when you take his dick in this hole. Go ahead, open your lips and suck on my finger, yeah, yeah, just like that, Captain Harley, now, fake a swallow, go ahead, swallow, there you go, now your girlfriend material. Is there any chance you have some condoms in the house? I've heard that sometimes boys like you use them jack off with, for some unknown reason to all mankind."

"Um, the bathroom cabinet. And it's popular on Chang, with the community (LOL, no it's not)."

"Love you. Stow Away, Kevin, finish securing the boat and let's go."

So, that's how sex works? Just when the mood hits you? Either way, the guys paid close attention to Julia and the boat was secured and Stow Away was smiling and following Julia like a puppy dog and Kevin had his hands around my waist and his head on my shoulder like I was his girlfriend and then everything leaned towards, well, afternoon delight, I guess?

"We saw you and Julia talking, Harley. Was she explaining a few things to you?"

"Um, she gave me a brief demo about something. Ah, this way, if that's what you want."

Well, I guess that's never a question-statement that you propose to a guy, right? Girl or fem role player, right?

"Unless you want to do me, Kevin. I've never had such an intimate experience before and even though it's been less than an hour, well, you can be in charge and I'll melt into the moment."

Swoosh.

Ah, did a condom package just fly by our heads? I mean, like a sign from life?

Swoosh

Ah, come on, Julia or Stow Away! It's my first time!

"It's never a good idea to ignore the signs that life sends your way, Harley, so, shall we?"

Well, at least I picked a good day anyways. My room was clean, not that he cared and my undies were new, which he really liked, although he asked me to leave them on and then well, I laid down for him.

LOL, and then he propped me up because it works better when the bottom is on his hands and knees as opposed to forcing his body as deep into the mattress as possible like a soldier in a shallow fox hole.

And then came the big moment of truth and my life didn't flash before my eyes.

"You alright, Harley?"

"Surprisingly, yes, just keep it at this speed, Kevin. So, ugh, can I ask you a, huff, question?"

"Fire away."

"Ahh, ooh wee, um, are you doing me, Kevin? I like to hear words sometimes."

"Oh, I'm doing you baby and this is tight. I'm glad you bought the lubricated condoms baby."

"Are you going to do me twice?"

BANG, BANG, BANG. 10 minutes love birds! We've been called out as AWOL from the fund raiser party police! 9 and counting because we have to drop off Stow Away so he can attend the "meet the parents" dinner at his girlfriend's house. Oh, and I'm still pilot!"

"Ah, apparently not today, Harley, but this is good, right?"

"Go faster until you blow then, Kevin. If I'm going to be done, then let me be done good."

OMG, who in the hell said that? And why did anyone pick that moment to listen to me? Not that it was all that bad being done. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting anyways or maybe it was just Kevin and his experience. Either way, it was in my future sooner or later, so now I'm seasoned Captain Harley.

"Ugh, you've been done, Harley!"

OMG, who in the hell said that the guy just gets dressed twice as fast as he got undressed? And why did I treat the full condom so gingerly? Like, tie it off, like it was my boat?

"We should get a move on, Harley. AWOL isn't a joke with those fancy people, not to mention that Julia is the beloved niece of the party hosts."

"Fine, I need to get the girls anyways. Are you going to call me, Kevin?"

"Ooh, ah, yeah, sure, Harley."

Hmmm, is this what girls and T-Girls have dealt with for ages? Ah, yeah, sure? I'll call you, yeah, sure, right? Is that it?

End Harley - Boat Captain 01