All Comments on 'Harry's Horny Mummy Ch. 01'

Sorry, but in my opinion you posted this too soon. A good story needs a setup, transition, and a payoff in every chapter. Your setup is quite good.

it would been better if it was couple more pages then you would get a five star good work so far

As the beginning times with my mother and myself the question did she know he was watching. After we begin making love mom admitted she always knew.

You quite obviously placed a lot of faith inn "Spill Cheque" to find and fix your errors and grammar . Eg: "I decided to quite my summer job" there were more and the lack of capitalization when speaking from your POV "i stood in the door way," .

Just a mess.

It is obviously that English is not your first language.

All you have here is a case of voyeurism. Not a full chapter if nothing happens

There could be a very hot story in the making here. The opening chapter was a little on the short side but I suppose your plan was to tease us.

If you are going to write, make it readable!

How is this an incest story if there is no INCEST in it? Watching your mother masturbate is not incest, at least not in my book.

Nice way to start your little story.