All Comments on 'Hartan Expanding Ch. 03'

Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll comment with thoughts - things you liked or questions. We (authors) only reward is the encouragement and upvotes of readers. That said, there's a Literotica link 'Support This Author on Amazon' that finds me there but for some reason doesn't work (ug, it's a simple search, but it's also on my Literotica BIO page).

I love reading what people think and look forward to your comments here, or on any other stories of mine here or elsewhere.

Very nicely done, as were the previous chapters. You're building a very interesting world here, and while at times the technical aspects are a bit distracting, they do fit with what the main character is going through. It's a kind of weird combination, though, having advanced language interspersed with the "golly, gee, sex is really great" babbles of an eighteen year-old.

Still too drawn out in places but the new ships are at least progress on the nerd front. 4.4*

I like the story but agree it sometimes gets bogged down in minutia. It would be interesting to read a story like this where humans have to flee the planet and in order to do so they develop ships that are also their habitats for their new home, being self-contained with the bridge section possibly becoming a small inter planetary shuttle and the propulsion engines becoming the power plant for the new colony.

You’re an excellent writer; it shows in your body of work. Other than a missing word here and there, your editing is also top notch.

This particular story arc, however, leaves me feeling a bit cold and not caring much about the future of humanity. The MCs seem headed for a dystopian future where no long-term pair bonding is possible, all relationships are doomed from the start, with no more than a few months before your partner gets handed off to someone else to impregnate after she delivers your child (who you’ll also never bind with and never know).

The most unlikely part to me is the government requiring sex proficiency training as a primary life skill, prioritized right up there with rocket design. I get it; it’s an erotic fantasy but promiscuous, masculine women aren’t all that erotic in most men’s estimation (ymmv depending on your own proclivities). Policy can’t trump evolution; if you only keep men alive who don’t care about primacy in a relationship you’ll have a weak gene pool in a hundred years. The species may survive (though not likely), but will it be worth it? Will it even be the same species with all the original genetic markers in the pool? Interesting plot but not a hopeful one to this point.

Paused in the middle of reading to leave this comment, love the euchre reference. As someone from Michigan, I average about 4 or 5 games of euchre a week depending on what I do, as do we all. I scoffed at the description of trying to cheat and catch other people cheating, because that’s not really how it goes, but then I thought about calling someone on a reneg or table talk and I laughed

Really interesting story. Very thought out scenario. Essentially the planet is slowly being terraformed by indestructible alien drone ships. What can humanity do?

Looks like the only way to survive is to do anything and everything to escape the planet and colonise space.

With the clock ticking, we witness a dystopian transition to a very different society. Surviving in space with tremendous restrictions means rewiring the cultural norms for the outward migration and colonisation phase.

I wonder if we will get to witness the story unfold in a colony. Right now the goal is to qualify for a place off planet, so the groups are temporary. But once at the colony the goals will shift slightly. It will be at least a generation until gender ratio equalises, so I wonder if the story will handle long-term attachment, children, family bonds.

Given the pace of technological advancement shown and where the colonies are established, it might be that this transition is brutal but short. But with incoming aliens on the doorstep will things go to a new normal?

While the story is centered on young people viewpoint, I find the setup intreaguing and the details making it quite realistic and consistent.

I'm reading between the lines, but looks like there won't be long before our characters will be selected to leave or stay. While I expect heartache at being separated and heading to different destinations, I hope a core of the group ends up in the same colony and they stay together long term in some form.