by Darkniciad
Denethia suffered, she suppressed and then she changed. The tiny vestige of humanity saved her.
I wish the author had gone into more detail about the "perverse acts" she was forced to perform - and also things she did to him in revenge!
Still, great story.
This isn't the sort of story I'm into but it was just so well written I couldn't stop reading it. Keep on writing.
This was great. I love stories where the woman gets her own back at the end. Plus, necromancy is awesome.
Very good work. Although you didn't invent anything new to the genre, it is a great work. You managed to write it in an interesting style, with unexpected story turns. While the characters belong to the.. 'simpler' ones that I've seen, they definitely do not lack motivation, development and thought, unlike many other stories.
Although considering the length of the tale, making them all full fledged, with both good and bad character traits, fears and drives as would be proper simply isn't plausible.
Only mistake that I can see is relative shortness of the story. The plot goes very fast, essentialy at 'breakpoint' pace. Should you care to, the basic plot is enough for a novel or two. The world would also deserve more use, because, even based just on this story, it has depth.
It may sound strange, but I don't event count the times that I've seen interesting settings outlined, used once and then abandoned for another malused planet.
I hope this won't be one of them.
Anyone that could "yawn" at this tale has to be envious of the obvious talent of this author. Beautifully written, I'd pay for this story, that's how good it is...
and of course i had to read it late at night, just before going to bed... i hope i still can sleep now...
great story!
I will have to read something else before I'll be able to sleep. Even though the horror was more than I would like normally, I had to read on.
I'm glad you let her get her revenge, but did you have to make the cost that high? * sigh *
Very well written.
Good luck.
Black Tulip
...and great! Wonderfully well-written. The kind of story that you can't stop reading once you've started.
This is just generic fantasy fan ficiton.
The story is adolescent and the writing is, well, just plain silly in many places, and uninspired in most others. I felt like I walked in on a freshman masturbating in his dorm room after he hosted an all night pizza-infested role-playing game session.
There is a saving grace and a ray of hope. The characters had pulses of heart and humanity. I would like to see this story (and this author) grow up.
D, if these characters and this story were set in a non-fantasy setting, with no magic, but dealing with deeper and more metaphoric themes of love, death, innocence, servitude, freedom and revenge, you might be forced to rise to the ocassion as an author.
I grew weary of "fantasy" stories and stopped reading them years ago... but damn if you didn't draw me into this world and force me to read to the end!! :) I'm impressed... that takes talent, I truly enjoyed the read/ride!
A bit long but very well crafted. I would have liked to have seen at least the begining of the lady's revenge past the enslavement of Celedin.
R. Richard
This horror story is enough to chill your bones even on a hot summer's day. The character of Denethia is one of willing obedience as she is forced to do things that drive her to the edge of insanity. What a perfect Halloween Story. Terrific Write!
The imagery in this story is nothing short of superb. You can smell the stench of death in the air as you read. A definite contest winner. Cheers!
Because normally I find this kind of thing overdone, with many "cheap" effects. However, this is the real deal...aptly drawn characters, oodles of suspense, grisly macabre elements, it's got it all! Good luck in the contest!
Wow! Hot and horrific! Perhaps the darkest sort of BDSM? I'm not a big horror story fan, but I really enjoyed reading this! ~Good Luck in the Contest~
I loved it!! I hope you do well in the contest.
Simply wonderful characterization and atmosphere. Great erotic horror with a shard of humanity.
Good luck.
This one really got me into the holiday spirit. Your range is just as amazing as everything else, you make us see and feel it all, from the warmth of a fireplace, to the cold of the grave.
way to go.
Maharat
Your story has been reviewed. You can see the review on the New story reviews thread on the Authors' Hangout here: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428901&page=11&pp=25
Any comments or questions pertaining to that review can be directed to that thread: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?p=18265130#post18265130
I really liked Denethia'a character and the transformation she goes through. As her power grew, her humanity waned ... but not completely. Very well done, Dark.
This was a very powerful read, Dark. The scene with the manipulation of the little dead boy really tore my heart out, and I knew it was the point where she really began to descend into hell. The revenge was just, but even though she managed to win against the necromancer, she lost so much more.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.