Harvest of Expectations Ch. 05

"Yes, I am!" Jim almost blurted out, but he was not even close to be ready to say anything like that. He caught himself in time and kept silent.

"We had a big argument yesterday in front of the Christmas Tree. He wants to fix me up with an apprentice who works at his machine shop. He wants to fix me up for New Year's Eve. I told him 'no' and he got mad."

"I see," Jim said.

"In fact," Hildy went on, "the reason I was late tonight was that he wouldn't let me start to get ready until we saw your headlights in the driveway. I think he gave you such a hard time because he was trying to get you to lose your temper. You didn't, though. I was proud of you."

Jim didn't say anything, trying to absorb all she'd told him. Why did he have to wait for her to explain it all to him? Everything was so plain. He should have seen it on his own.

"If our places were reversed I would have told her some little white lie. She sure didn't do that."

"I don't care what your father thinks of me, except for whatever burden it puts on you. But look, Hildy, someday you're going to have to stand up to him. You're twenty-one, after all."

"I won't be twenty one until June. I'm just not ready for a big confrontation. I know this can't go on forever, but I..."

"Your father thinks it can, or at least until he has you married off to that apprentice. Then he'll try to lord it over him, too. He'll have you both under his thumb. And, I'll bet he knows that already or else he wouldn't have picked him out for you."

Jim hadn't realized how much he disliked Hildy's father.

"You're right. I know you're right. I just can't do it now. He's not all bad, you know. He's done a lot of good things for me that you don't know about."

Jim shrugged.

"It's up to you, Hildy. I've never asked you to promise anything to me. Maybe you should go with this guy and everyone can get it out of their systems."

Hildy's eyes got wide and for the first time he'd known her Jim thought she was angry."

"No!" she decreed. "I won't. If I go anywhere on New Year's it will be with you, or else I'll read a magazine in my room. It won't be the first time."

"Whatever you say, Hildy. I was planning to go back to my apartment tomorrow morning so I can use the library at the Engineering School during Christmas Break. That's how I got the idea for you to come down to see me."

"Alright, then, I'll be reading a magazine in my room."

They glanced over and saw the waitress getting ready to bring over their fried chicken dinners.

"It would make things a lot easier if you could just wait until after New Year's Eve. Just take me somewhere, even for a little while. If not, I'm afraid my father will try something. He might have his apprentice show up unannounced and I'll be stuck."

Jim took a deep breath.

"Hildy, I can't afford to make a reservation at a restaurant or night club—and I'd bet those places are all booked by now, anyway. All my friends are graduated and moved away. They all went through school in four years and I'm doing it in five. So, none of my friends will be around to have private parties."

Hildy snapped her fingers.

"I know what to do. I'll talk to Darlene at work tomorrow. We'll throw a party at her house. She and I can chip in on the expenses. Darlene is always ready for a party. She lives with her parents, too, but they're okay. Just take me to Darlene's party. That will solve a lot of problems."

"Sure," Jim answered. "I'm still going to school tomorrow to get some materials that I can work on while I'm home. I'll drive to my parents' house on the morning of the thirty-first."

Hildy leaned back in her seat and was smiling again.

"I feel a lot better now," she said. "You're really dedicated to this project, aren't you?"

Jim felt a lot better, too. In all the months he had known Hildy he had never told her about his studies or his work in any meaningful depth. He'd wanted to tell her many times, but didn't want to bore her with something that was only meaningful to himself. He sensed his big chance coming. It was just at the right time when his idea for his big project was coming together.

"Yes," he answered, "it's important to me."

"Tell me about it," she said.

He took a deep breath.

"It's a design for a plant to manufacture Bromine compounds. I have to lay out the plant, size and spec the equipment, provide for environmental laws and safety, and a lot of other things."

"It sounds like it's hard," Hildy said. "What's Bromine? Why would you want to do anything with it?

As he started to speak again she leaned forward. She put her elbows on the table, clasping her hands and then rested her chin on them. Jim thought he could see her eyes sparkling. He was going to tell her all about it.

"Bromine is a chemical element and the plant would start its process with Bromic Acid and react it into something that can be safely handled. It's a fire retardant that has a lot of uses: children's pajamas, theater curtains, cellulose insulation and things like that.

There, he was satisfied. He'd told her enough, he thought. He was satisfied that she understood and appreciated what he was doing. The waitress set their dinner plates in front of them with their salads on the side. Hildy had to take her arms off the table. She leaned back in her seat and placed her napkin in her lap and picked up her fork.

"Tell me the rest of it," she said.

He did tell her. She listened about the hazards of Bromic Acid—how it could actually explode if you weren't careful with it and the special materials one needed to work with it. He explained how he researched the quantity of product the plant would produce and how that led him to the right sizing of the equipment and mixer configurations. He told her all about what he had to do to get the faculty committee to accept his idea. There was more.

Hildy munched on her salad but never stopped paying attention to him.

"She can't possibly care about all these details," he admitted to himself as he neared the end of his discourse. "She probably doesn't even understand half of it. After all, she didn't even pass Chemistry in high school."

He might have been right, but it was clear that Hildy wanted to hear it, just the same. She almost seemed disappointed when he was out of details to tell her. It was hard for Jim to understand.

"Thanks for telling me about it," she said as he finished. "It sounds like a hard job that you have, but you'll do fine."

"It was nice of her to say that," Jim thought to himself.

He thought that he should thank her for listening to his lecture, but the words caught in his throat. If he said it maybe it would sound like a polite reciprocation, a quid pro quo. Her sparkling eyes reminded him of a Christmas Tree and her unexpected 'thank you' was so sweet in his ears. A blunt reciprocation just didn't seem right.

But, Jim was polite, if nothing else.

"Thanks for listening, Hildy. I know I can get carried away when I start talking about these things. I can go on and on..."

"I enjoyed listening to you," she said. "Don't apologize."

"It was just that..." he began to say.

"Your dinner's getting cold," she said. "Look, I'm nearly done."

Jim poured some catsup on his plate and dug in to the chicken, slaw and fries. He handed Hildy his salad so she would have something to work on while he caught up with her. (He didn't really want the salad, anyway.)

They decided to pass on dessert and had a last coffee refill.

"Christmas present time!" Hildy announced as soon as the busboy cleared their dishes away.

She was clutching the box that she had found in the car and shaking it to get a hint what was inside.

"Go ahead and open it. You look like you're going to burst," Jim said and he had a hard time keeping himself from laughing.

Her overcoat was in a heap on the empty seat next to her. She pulled out something that had been underneath it. Jim hadn't even noticed it until she produced it and handed it to him.

"You first," she gushed.

It was a flat envelope, a little larger than a sheet of paper. There wasn't a bow on it, but there was a tag that said, 'To Jim, From Hildy". Jim lifted the envelop flap, hoping not to damage the envelope.

"Go ahead. Just tear it open," she said.

She sounded impatient. Jim wasn't a 'tear it open' kind of guy. He produced a jackknife from his pocket and sliced through the fold on the envelope flap. He pulled out the contents.

It was a photo, in color, in a folder with matting. He looked at the face smiling out at him. She was a bit chubbier when it was taken and the hairstyle was a little different, but he recognized the face right away. It was Hildy.

"Hildy, I don't know what to say," he said after he'd inspected the picture.

"Say you like it," she replied.

"I do like it—I really do," he said. "I wasn't expecting..."

"It's my graduation picture," she said. "I've been waiting to give it to someone and now I decided to give it to you."

"Thank you, Hildy. It's very nice."

He knew he should have said more, that saying 'very nice' was next to saying nothing. But, what could he say? It had been a surprise and he wasn't ready. Was she expecting him to say more? He hoped not—he just couldn't.

He looked up and Hildy already had the paper nearly torn off the box that she'd been shaking a few moments ago.

"Hildy, don't expect too much..."

She was already lifting the lid.

"Oh," she said as she lifted the tam from the box, "very nice."

He could see that she was deflated. She lifted it by her fingertips and it reminded Jim of someone lifting a dirty diaper.

"All the pieces match," he said, as if he could impart some added value to the gift.

"I see that," she said. "I really love it."

"Hildy, I'm just not good at presents. I don't get ideas for this kind of thing very easily."

"It's a nice present, Jim," she assured him. "Thank you."

They were silent while they waited for the check. They left the diner and were outside, walking to the car.

"What movie do you want to see?" he asked.

"The Way We Were," she answered right away.

He had been set on 'The Sting' but didn't say so. Maybe it was a way to give her something to make up for the deficiency of the knitted set.

He took her home after the movie and they made plans for Darlene's party. Afterward, as he drove to his parents' house he was thinking about the difference between the two Christmas presents.

"What a jerk I am. Hat, gloves and scarf, all for twenty dollars. Big deal! I could have done better if I'd tried harder."

He drove along a bit farther. He was stopped at a light and was still thinking about Hildy.

"I wouldn't blame her if she took that apprentice to Darlene's party. He wouldn't have come up with any better gift than I did, but she would have expected less from him."

Darlene's party never came off. As Jim was about to begin the drive to his parents' house, Hildy called to tell him to stay home. The roads had been closed due to a winter storm.

The party was canceled. And the chance he had been hoping for to make things right with her was canceled, too.

TO BE CONTINUED