All Comments on 'Haunted'

Really Liked it , thanks.

I found this to be a uniquely strange story. Some of the vocabulary and phrasing made it slightly confusing at times but I still could not stop reading it. You managed to create some semi warped characters in a weird situation but still made it worth reading and enjoying while still making it hot at times.

I am glad I didn’t miss this one.

I don’t read many stories in this category and always read the description first. This description was the only one on the front page that promoted interest but, unfortunately, the story wasn’t what I expected. The way I read the description I was expecting something different.

The first half of the story was very good. I personally loved the humour and thought it was well written. As I was reading I thought “this is a definite 5.” Then I got into the second half and it was as if someone else had taken over the story. If the story had begun like that I would have given up reading. What happened? But the second half was definitely average as far as scoring goes and not even worth a 4 but I’ve given it 4 because of the first half.

At this point I’ll say I’ve never come across a story yet which required semi-colons and this is no exception. I’ve read stories in which a comma or full stop was more suitable and that’s the case here. I thought your dialogue was good but many of the dialogue tags weren’t required. When the reader knows who’s talking they don’t need to be told. I skimmed over the spliff/poppers because I have no knowledge of the subject and it didn’t, for me, add anything to the story. But that’s only my opinion.

I’m sure the first writer is capable of producing a story that’s good all the way through.