All Comments on 'Have a Coke and a Smile'

Hit 'Publish' a little early?

"I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony..."

Or not. Didn't seem to be much harmony in the suites that night. Lawyers win again. Good story, sir.

Love it! It works as a short but I really wouldn’t mind another couple hundred words to hear her reaction to being caught. Thank you for posting it!

750 word stories are a waste of talent and time.

A good start destroyed 1☆

Now, why write part of a great story and stop? This 750 bullshit is becoming an epidemic and ruining a bunch of what would have been good stories into nothing but lazy ass crap! This will be the first time I've given Bebop3 one star but he deserves it for being too damn lazy to actually write a story.

Very good. I would love to see a part 2. I think Julia is going to be divorced, and hopefully publicly shamed in the church.

Would have been better if it was linger, another good story ruined by the dumb 750 word project

what come next should have been the raucous hilarity of the situation.

but ^sigh^ it is what it is.

I forgot that Todd is almost certainly going to lose his job. Almost all of those big companies that pay well have non-fraternization rules, and even if the sex was 100% consensual the fact that he is her boss and she was married will get him fired, and probably ruin his career when the husband sues. The only issue is Avery may be looking for revenge; then again he may be a wanted criminal. As I said, I would love to see a part 2 finish this story and Julia end up divorced, humiliated , and publicly shamed and embarrassed.

Not Father Tom too! Great short one Mr Bebop.

Pathetic

Love it, but it would be funnier for the MC to laugh point at the cameras in the hall laugh and remind her it i a no fault state, don't have any kids, no equity in the house.

You still don't like DP! Nice ending to the story!

5

No no no no… you can’t stop there!

That's refreshing!

I love how in all these wannabe cuck stories the seducer always tries to imprison the would be cuckold, like that wouldn't get you 10 years in an American Prison. If you're in that situation you get the thug to even hit you so you have physical evidence and the elevator cameras will corroborate your story. This isn't rocket science, you can't hold people against their will in the 21st century, fuck who you want but you ain't making nobody stay nowhere.

Despite all the people complaining about the story missing a follow-up, I think the story has a perfect ending! 5 stars.

I agree with others. Interesting so far but you're talented enough to make the reveal even better.

It’s official I hate 750 word projects, the good ones deserve more pages the bad ones deserve the bin. This could have been so much better with a page more (is that too much to ask just one measly page).

Preposterous

This might have been a good story, if you had written it properly. What is all this crap about containing a story to 750 words?

Maybe I'm cruel, but I want to read how her and her lovers life became miserable.

A tight constructed complete scene. Lets the reader extrapolate an epilogue. Thanks much.

5*. Fun story, love the Father Tom part. Diet Dr. Pepper is great.

A good story spoilt by the 750 word limitation. Authors please please refrain from catering to this nonsense and wasting your time and effort.

2 Stars for only writing part of the story. As someone else has mentioned-it's becoming an epidemic writing unfinished stories.

Not a story - a paragraph of BS 2*

Funny funny funny! 4* for being short and right on point!

It's not only false imprisonment, it's kidnapping. Lots of felony time. But he needs to call the cops after he embarrasses them. D

Not finished. Need to see the wife get humiliated in front of the family.

You know it's a good story when you leave them wanting more...

5 stars. THANKS

Why does nobody conceal carry so they can defend themselves? He could have shot all three of them for assault and imprisonment and went on with his life

I would like it finshed don't leve it this way

Burn!

5 from me

Well, Jason, where you been, lad? Thanks for giving us a wee taste of your talent. And thanks for all you do in your work with other authors, as well as your thoughtful comments. I fear that this short story will not be well received, but I appreciate watching you fight with one hand tied behind your back. I’ve already seen what you can do when you’re not constrained and I’d sure like to see more of that.

Real life women don’t tell their husbands they’re going to fuck another guy. The only place that happens is in dopey BTB fantasies. Next time, try writing an actual erotic story.

You really need the confrontational ending.

Do part 2 where the wife gains 80 pounds and loses all her hair form stress after the divorce! The boss loses his job and gets her pregnant and bails on her and the kid is so autistic that she had to take a sick day when he had a mental meltdown after they changed the brand label design on his chocolate milk he always drank.

10 stars! Cool story, so far. Please write another chapter, it'll be nice to see that all those folks think, especially the priest. Julia sounds like her shit doesn't stink. Hopefully, she finds out it does. THE WHORE AND HER MASTER!

That's a good one.....the after effect would be thermonuclear!!

Nice work. Thanks.

L77

Not bad for 750 words, but truly… it could stand a part 2. Nice job

Its not a "short story" just because you stopped writing after 750 words. But I do sympathize, with such a weak redundant plot what could you write that's original or dramatic? The wife is going to fuck her boss to improve her marriage. That's like kicking your dog to make him more friendly. Mindless. But thanks for the effort.

Hahahaha! As these kind of stories go, this one was near perfect though the false imprisonment was a real crime that I don't think a successful man or his bodyguard would commit for married pussy.

Well, I knew it would be short with the 750. Sadly it was too short in my opinion. It caused a "major" conflict and left it unresolved. Yes, now we can imagine it how we want, but then that is on us not the author. Three stars.

Well, I guess you get the gist of the comments. If the plot is good enough to write the story, use the amount of words necessary to actually tell it. 750 was not the number for this one. Love your work however. Look forward to your next. Thanks for sharing.

Come on…you gotta finish the story!

I liked it. Does anyone not know what happens next?

Nice, clean and no ninja or magic.

Fun story, but I wouldn't have stopped with just the filming. I would have shared the coke cans with her boss. Several times. Then made the call.

750 words. About 740 too many for BTB. Here’s the only ten you need to get your message across:

“I hate women because women hate bitter, angry losers.”

Another part needed just to complete the story.

This is why I don't like almost all 750 word stories. This was barley a beginning.

That is it??? I gave it one star. You had a nice beginning and that is it.

cute story as written. However, I think in a case like that the guy would just either yell at the top of his lungs for ANY attention or pull a fire alarm. Having interrupted doing video may ruin the surprise when folks eventually do come up. The couple will be done.

I loved it 5 stars I would love a follow up just like everyone else but I can't complain for what I paid. Thanks for writing and keep them coming.

A good story wasted In The shitty 750 word format

Nope. This needs to be much, much longer.

A generally interesting writer caught in the moment of a 750 word project, in other words, he's willing to waste a good reputation just to follow along with the masses. This will be the first time I've ever given Bebop a 2, but this one well deserves it.

I normally look forward to Bebop stories, not today. This was nothing more than a mess.

The 750-word fiction story was probably thought up as a "marketing" ploy, presumably by a former newsprint editor accustomed to conserving newspaper column-space (I wasn't aware that server storage space was that precious).

The "project" became a contest that, in practice, does to improve fiction stories what the "Name That Tune" game did to improve songs ... NOTHING!

But, unlike the "tunes" game, the arbitrary 750-word rule is DIRECTLY responsible for the reduced quality of many of the stories written here utilizing it. (I include THIS story in that group.)

Seeing no benefit from it, I hope it is quickly discarded by the authors on this site.

In my view, that makes the idea a fail!

This should not be in the 750 word format. Very disappointed. Has potential but you choked it out. 2*s...

That was fun. Five stars for sure. I read it aloud to my wife while she was cooking breakfast, and she broke up at the last paragraph. 5 Stars.

I remember Sean Penn doing the Coke cans in a pillow case for a jail fight scene in a movie and always thought it would be an effective way to take down a bigger opponent. As long as they weren't Dr Pepper cans, I suppose.

No need to continue, we've read it all before:

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Family, friends and clergy are going to witness the infidelity that he also has video of.

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The hotel security cameras will reveal his unlawful detention.

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He'll get a favorable divorce, if the laws there allow it, he'll get a six or seven figure settlement from the company.

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His ex-wife will be ostracized, possibly even from her own family.

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He may meet a hoe super-model/actress who has a thing for Dad-bods.

You had me worried there for a minute... nicely done. Maybe a quick part 2 to finish off the cheating slut bitch and her "hide behind a big guy" asshole lover! Lots of pain and loss should be in store for both these clowns.

You are very skilled in creating 750 word stories that are complete and well-written. My compliments

All the positives you'd think you'd get for this story...are well deserved. Loved it.

More please.

MLJ

Damn too short

Due to the abrupt shallow ending the story dropped from 5* to 3*. You needed more cause-n-affect results. And not one of the Anniversary friends was a lawyer, cop, or priest?

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How about Bebop you set a new trend with a 750 - part 2/3/4 ???

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2.9***, hooyah

Really too short - ... but a good read.

What a fun little story. Very well done.

Wow!! Talk about lighting the fuse and walking away!!! PLEASE write what happens next ergo finish the story!!! This just demands a satisfactory completion to the story.

You have to tell what happened next and after that. They're the best parts.

good story, but you can't stop now.

Lazy is what this "effort" is. 0 stars.

LOL! Short and sweet!

Deserves a part 2.

Deserves a part 2!

needs an aftermath story

Needs an ending

Martian Slut Ray strikes again. These stories where the loving wife suddenly flips and becomes an evil whore are nonsense. At least this was short.

A coke , a smile, and

5 minutes does not a story make.

I love your work, but this is just too incomplete for my usual top score for you. 4*

Cool!

An enjoyable 5*. I really wish there was more to it, though, even if it's a story that's been told a million times on here.

Great start, and⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐are possible. But don't give us any of that 750 word shit. It doesn't work for all stories. Reserving my vote.

Follow up?

Pretty good for 750 words. Four stars.

Evil wife.

Dude was to stupid to be the boss. Family, police and much hassle if the "plan" goes off the rails. All that for pussy he was getting any way and would probably be dumping in the near future.

Yes right to the point. The cunt wife is going to be out on her ass. The ex boss and ape will be going to prison. Good guy gets money from ex boss and ex wife. What is not to like here?

HELP, need more story

Way too short..

Average at best. Honestly, it’s only my goodwill that keeps me from eating it 2 stars.

It’s a shame because it could have been entertaining if it hadn’t been so low effort.

This is exactly why I loathe short stories... it leaves me unfulfilled and annoyed.. the story had potential but was way too short... I definitely wouldve enjoyed reading about the aftermath.. I don't want to use my imagination 😂😂😂😂😫😫..

Doesn’t need a part 2, we know what happens, great little masterpiece.

Love it. It does not need a part 2. Could this be fluffed out to 50 pages, sure, but it would gain nothing.

The only thing that would be fun to watch would be all the excuses, back peddling, and blaming when Dad, Julia's folks, and Father Tom come on up. Let me get the beers and a couple of lawn chairs this will be good.

Not even 24 hrs have past since this good story was posted and you already have 82 comments at this point. Most seem to want a part 2. I see two problems with that idea. You wrote a good story, purposely using the 750 word format. That should have been enough. But others suggesting a part 2 want to READ a part two - not use their imaginations to end it themselves. I suppose that's why people come to this site - to read the stories. And when we find one we like - 750 words or 7500 words, we're always left wanting more for the entertainment valve the story provides. Thanks for the good work and if YOU feel like it - write a part 2.

Tells a simple story efficiently; but really nothing there, no basis for aftermath. 750-word challenge?

Boring and unfinished.

Really needs a finishing.....