All Comments on 'He was My Forbidden Fruit Pt. 01'

The prologue to an obituary for the marriage and at least 2 characters.... This Phoenix will never rise from her own ashes either.

I do wish you would stop using the word "love". This story is about sex. There is nothing remotely resembling love from beginning to end.

She was so stoned...So how could she in that state describe so perfectly what happened? The story ended, as someone said in this point: "We began using Crystal Meth, mixing it with alcohol, and occasionally we added sedatives. The sedatives were used to alleviate the insomnia that was a direct result of the drug use."...1*

This is a good sex story.Thats why we come here.Thanks.

Is this true? Is that your real pic on the bio? Very hot

This was a depressing story. Drug use, loneliness, alcoholism, cheating...and she's only been married 4 years? Fuck it! Get a divorce if you're that unhappy and there is no fixing it.

Just get divorced and fuck Mason all you want.Wow! This was dumb.

Hot? On what planet I had to check it out. Then I saw what a moron this is. "Psychologist by definition?" Are you a term? Surely you mean vocation, old chap.

Another illiterate WHORE posting cuck shit.

YOU GO GIRL!! i LIKE YOUR STORY.J

Crystal meth? WTF makes you think stories about drug users are sexy.

Couldn't even read it through.

1*

You guys must act the same way when you watch a movie. It's a story for fuck's sake. Go wank to a different story!

cuck shit.

I thought the story was well written.

However, I did not like the drug aspect of the story.

Personally, I think the story begged for more dialog.

I started reading and this could be a fine bit of fiction if you slow the information flow such that it becomes more subtle.

Your opening paragraph was way too much information. I am going to take a moment to reorganize some of your thoughts and I know you will improve upon them from there:

Mason came raging like a tornado into my life. He was my husband's best friend for years before we met and married. Now four years later, with my husband neglecting me, I felt unwanted, unattractive and even old. I am 3 years older, have a curvaceous build with perky 36C breast's that do not yet sag, and am a sexual being. I was actively showing my prospective husband how much I loved sex before we took the plunge. We have no children yet and may not with my husband now unable to keep up with my level of desire.

Mason upended my life in a swirl of passion and excitement. He did not so much reawaken a long lost need as he did take up the slack for a man who left me constantly wanting more. But then the bastard disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. I was again left wanting more only now I was also cleaning up the aftermath his destruction.

Good luck and upon rereading your work condense multiple modification words to a single powerful one.

Hi, OK, so here goes...To those who took the time to read my story, thank you. Whether you thought it was crap or not, you are all entitled to your opinion. I'm just sad at the amount of people that have judged me so harshly on my story. Especially the part about drug use, and especially the cheating part!! It amazes me that there are so many "Incest" , "Cuckold" , Wife Sharing, Gang Bangs, Swingers etc...The list is endless!! How on earth do you make INCEST OK but judge so harshly on drug use! People who commit INCEST are SOBER! Now that is way scarier than being high and cheating if you ask me, but hey that's just my opinion...Anyway, this was my first attempt at writing, I've never written stories like this before and wanted to make my story stand out, that is why I decided to add drugs, something that isn't common in other stories, but thanks for telling me that many of you do not like that idea. I can only learn from your feedback and hopefully improve in the future!

To those who gave me constructive feedback, I thank you dearly and will definitely take your advice on ways to improve my writing. To those who were just plain rude and insulting, a tip for the future, the reason why many of your comments remain anonymous is because you don't want to be known for your immaturity. I believe people who have nothing nice to say or who are quick to insult and use vulgar language are showing the huge restrictions to their use of the English language as well as their level of intellect. And to those to insulted me and couldn't even spell the words you used to make those insults, please first make sure you learn how to spell correctly, then we'll talk!

To the comment about what kind of psychologist am I? Definitely not the kind of psychologist who is judgmental, narrow minded, arrogant and my intellect definitely expands far enough not to let immature behavior get to me...You see...I don't judge anybody and maybe there's a reason for each of the insults (you anonymous readers) posted. So I won't make any assumptions and will once again thank everyone for all the feedback. I can only learn and grow from this.

SexiShaaz

Thanks for taking the trouble to write and post your story. I have absolutely no brief with the people who decry drug use while holding their own personal drug of choice (alcohol) in their other hand. It makes me laugh at the hypocrisy. Still, meth is some pretty nasty stuff, don’t you think? A little ecstasy would have drawn far less heat.

As far as people being judgmental, most people aren’t overtly judgmental. No one cares if your characters cheat, swing or share, that’s expected here. It’s loving wives. It’s what you do with the cheating characters. If you make cheating a wonderful experience, justify it, make cheaters into heroes, then it’s not about the characters, it’s about you. You appear to have an agenda that is foreign to most people’s experience and sense of fair play, and they will become harsh. You earned that, they gave you what you earned.

Your last paragraph in your comment is fascinating. It is positively Orwellian. What a strange statement: You are… “not the kind of psychologist who is judgmental, narrow minded, arrogant and my intellect definitely expands far enough not to let immature behavior get to me...You see...I don't judge anybody.” But you have judged all the commentators as “judgmental, narrow-minded, arrogant, non-expansive in intellect and judging you.” You are doing the very thing you claim not to do, all the while, you are claiming others are doing it.

I believe you are a talented writer, who, given a good plot, characters and subject matter, could write a very good story. So long as you write the sort of story you did, it will never be popular, you will get negative comments and you will feel judged. The fact is, most people who read in this category aren’t here for the hot sex. If that’s what you want to write, post in another category and people will like it. Most readers here are looking for drama, tension, plot and cheaters suffering the consequences of cheating. If there is hot sex involved, great. If not, so long as the other elements are involved, people will like your story. It’s a matter of understanding the genre. A is popular, B isn’t. You have the talent to succeed by writing hot sex in some other category, or drama and angst here. It’s all on you, not the readers. They like what they like. Write that and they’ll like you. Or, write what you like and don’t worry about negative comments. Your choice. You can’t have both.

Hard to enjoy a story when the suthor writes one thing and in the next paragraph contradicts the other parts of the setup..... In one part she has the slut saying she didn't know how she ended up at the cheating point, then she writes they got into drugs which make her horny????? So she knew they had an affect and she was horny, so story lost all credibility and went down the drain further after that... 2****

Well, I liked it! I found that the drug aspect of the story enhanced, rather than detracted, the overall plot. My husband & I went through a bit of a "phase" early in our marriage....we were both college educated, had great jobs, no kids yet, owned our own home, & just wanted to experiment & have some fun. Cocaine, not meth. We picked it up, had an incredible few months, then dropped it.....because it could've easily become a big problem. But....during those few months....we were fucking CRAZY. I did things I would never have done sober. You feel like a completely different person, I WANTED to be a different person. You lose your inhibitions, you do & say things you'd never ordinarily do or say. You feel hot, sexy, on fire. I think that's what this author was trying to convey in this story.

Your first paragraph is a cliche Hall of famer for a cheating wife story.

If you want people with their stuff together to feel positive about your characters, there needs to be depth and perspective to them. Depth doesn't need a million words from you, it just needs you to show some aspects of them that isn't sexual...preferably something positive they do for others....you're balancing the cheating. Perspective is awareness of how your protagonist fits in the social world, and how their behavior stacks up to others. Again many words aren't needed, but show that the character is aware of what a s rewed up mess the bad part or parts are, while maybe showing us some common humanity we share.

The good writers find ways to do those things in their own way. If you want to convey an experience that is common to your segment of society but generally against the grain of the average schnuck, you will need to build the bridge. It is on you as the purveyor, the person of words, and the one with the education to do so.

Orto hell with it all, write WTFYW, enjoy writing, but don't be surprised or bent if you get trashed😁.

You got a gift of gab, thanks for sharing, and for allowing comments and stars

"He is my husband's best friend and since my husband has been neglecting me, I felt unwanted, unattractive and downright old. My husband and I have no kids and I am 3 years older."

Why does not she divorce him? Has her husband big furtune and she wants to enjoy the luxury life + lovers? Is her husband a cuckold type who likes to watch his wife fucked by stangers? Have her husband mistress too (classical non declered open marriage story)? Why does not she talk with her husband about her marriage problem first instead of cheating? The author shows a simple cheater alone and except for cheaters, lovers, bulls, predators, cuckolding lifestyle fans, etc the readers feel strong sympathy to husband and the (except for the listed exceptions) readers think of a possible narrow escape to get rid of the cheating wife...older 3 years...a younger second wife to the ex husband?

5 stars.

Yes, neglected, older, drugs, whatever your excuse you're writing about a common whore who sleeps with her husband 's best friend. Nothing sexy her Shazz.

Fucking trailer trash junkies.