Heart Is Where the Home Is Ch. 01

How about some good old-fashioned romance to get the cheating wives story taste out of our mouths. There is a lot of story to tell for Ken and Lainey so this will be multi-chaptered. Parts two and three are written and ready for publication. i envision this as open ended right now, so the sky is the limit for our two heroes.

Enjoy, and thank you for reading! - BH

***Ken

I stood in front of my reflection and dragged the glistening metal across my jawline.

“It’s never gonna work, Ken,” Jen said as she watched me shave off the last of my trademark beard.

“Why is that, Sis?”

“Your eyes. Your beautiful blue eyes sparkle like an ocean of sapphires wet from summer rain.”

That was a line from a review of my first movie. The critic had a crush on me and tried to get me into bed with her. I declined, but she wrote a good review of the film anyway. My sister, on the other hand, uses the line to make fun of me—and she does it often.

“Ugh! Keep that crap up and I’m telling Mom.”

She laughed and hit me with her hairbrush. “What? Are we six again?”

We were typical siblings, with a little rivalry and a lot of love. We were fraternal twins and Jennifer liked to remind me that she’s older by five minutes as often as possible.

“You know a million girls are going to cry over your new look.”

I laughed and said, “Maybe, but I need a fresh start. Besides, Mom always preferred me clean-shaven, and I figure it’s the least I can do for her on the day we bury Dad. Heck, if it gives me just a little bit of anonymity this week, I’ll take it.”

She kissed my clean-shaven cheek and walked out of our childhood bathroom. Nothing had changed, it still had the same toothbrush holder and soap dispenser we had when I was a kid and it was oddly comforting.

Looking at my new, boyish face, I knew I could never be anonymous. I knew I could never have any privacy. That was the price I had been paying since my first acting role. My portrayal of a bearded action hero.

I played Jace Stryker seven more times since that first movie and each was more successful than the previous films. I was also severely typecast and couldn’t get any decent roles outside of the superhero universe films I’d been making for a dozen years.

Don’t get me wrong, I had offers and for good money as well, it’s just that I was already playing an action hero. Why would I want to play more than one? Looking back, if I had taken one of those roles I may have become a huge leading man and not a mere second-name star. Hindsight and all...

“Hurry up, Kinsey, the car is here,” Mom said.

“Stop calling me Kinsey, Mom. You know I hate it,” I said walking into the kitchen. I’d been telling her that since I was a kid. I knew eventually she’d listen.

“I chose that name for you and I’ll use it all I want. Now scoot.”

She chose the name from a soap opera she was watching at the time I was born. My dad nicknamed me Ken and most everyone I knew personally, used the nickname thank God.

Jenny laughed causing Mom to laugh. I smiled, glad my mom and sister could laugh on that hard day.

Our father died of cancer and my mother had her good moments and bad ones since he became ill. She was always one to internalize and bottle up her emotions, and that time was no exception.

I think she had the wrong idea that she had to be strong and put on a brave face for us. In reality, Jen and I just wanted her to have a good cry for the only man she ever loved.

***

“Mom, are you sure you want me to give the eulogy? I don’t want to take any attention away from Dad,” I asked.

I was always worried about how my celebrity status would impact my parents in their sleepy little rural piece of Americana. I rarely talked about my home life with the press and blocked any biographies that included where I came from.

I wanted mom and dad to have their anonymity. I went so far as to say I was from Chicago in my bio rather than the farm town where I grew up, which was closer to Rockford than the Windy City.

“I’m sure it will be fine, Kinsey. Besides, no one will recognize you without the beard. You look five years younger and much more handsome.”

Jen laughed as I stuck my tongue out at her and said, “No getting out of it, little brother. You’re better at public speaking than I am, as we’ve all seen on television.”

I shook my head at her obvious reference to my winning a couple of Golden Globes and some fan’s choice awards. I was more nervous giving those acceptance speeches than I’d ever been in my life.

“There won’t be that many people, we kept it a private interment,” Mom said.

I nodded and went back to reading my notes.

“Mom, do you still want to go to the premiere?” Jen asked.

“Of course, I never miss one. When is it again?”

“Next Wednesday.”

“I’ll be there with bells on.”

“Mom, you’ll be my date then.” I knew Jen would have a fit about Mom being on my arm.

“No way, little brother. The studio wants you to have a hottie on your arm for the red carpet. Mom is going to be my escort.”

“Won’t Cindy be your date, Jennifer?” Mom asked.

“She’s going. You’ll be on both of our arms.”

“When are you going to marry that girl, Jennifer? She’s madly in love with you,” Mom asked. We all knew Jen loved her as much as Cindy loved Jen. I think marriage just scared her.

“Hey, Bro,” Jen called out, deftly changing the subject. “They are serious, you need a date. Do I need to make some calls for you? Kate Ferrell is probably free.”

I wanted to scream, but I took a deep breath and said, “Don’t you dare. She still calls me at least once a week. I’ll never be free of her if you do that.”

“What happened with her, Kinsey? She was such a nice girl,” Mom asked about my last girlfriend. They bonded when I brought her home for Christmas.

“She kept accusing me of cheating on her when I was on the road. She’s talented and beautiful, but bat-shit crazy and jealous.”

Hell, she was more than that, I loved her. I just couldn’t be constantly berated and screamed at for things I didn’t do.

I was planning on proposing to her after wrapping up filming my most recent movie. I hadn’t even set my bags on the floor of my condo when she lit into me. I missed the days when she would welcome me home with a blowjob, but the BJ’s morphed into tirades instead.

That last time, without a word, I turned and walked out of my condo as she embarrassed herself by screaming at me all the way back to my car. The video that my neighbor posted on YouTube got over a million hits the first weekend.

It’s strange living in a world where a man passing you on the stairs can instantly start a video recording. It was what it was, and Kate was roasted on the late-night talk shows over it. She tried to apologize, but I’d had enough.

My mom snapped me out of my reverie.

“You didn’t cheat on her, did you? I raised you better than that.”

“No, Mom. I never cheated on her.”

“Good.”

“Believe it or not, Mom, I don’t want to date actresses anymore. Just once I’d like to meet and settle down with a normal woman.”

I dated actresses exclusively for a decade. I thought that being with a regular girl would never work due to my crazy schedule. Heck, I couldn’t even have a cat.

Jen said, “Maybe now that you’re retiring to the country, you’ll find a sweet farm girl.”

And there went my surprise for my mother. Damn! I was mad.

“What? You’re retiring? When did that come about?” Mom asked.

I rolled my eyes, but not before glaring at my sister.

“I bought the Miller’s farm, Mom. We signed the papers yesterday. Last year, I decided I’d only make one more ‘Patriot Squad’ movie. Jim Steel made it clear to us that he was done and didn’t renew his contract either. Without him, it all kind of falls apart anyway. He’s the big star and there’s not much appetite for Jace Stryker stand-alone films anymore. Plus, I’m burnt out on it all anyway.”

“I can’t believe you’re coming home and didn’t tell me.” She was genuinely hurt and it was all I could do to not go off on Jen. I wouldn’t do that on the day we buried my father.

“I wanted it to be a surprise, Mom, but someone can’t keep her big mouth shut.”

Jen stuck her tongue out at me as if she were a child.

“Well, I think it’s fantastic, Kinsey. What about you, Jennifer? Will you be moving home now that he won’t need his sister running his life anymore?”

“No, I’m going to work for Kate Ferrell. I guess she isn’t happy with her current personal assistant. She saw how I controlled Ken’s life perfectly and reached out to me.”

That surprised me. I didn’t know she had found a new job, nor that it was with my ex-girlfriend. They always did get along though.

“Oh, well, okay. I would’ve liked for you to come home also.”

“I know, Mom,” Jen said. “It’s just that Cindy still works in Hollywood and there isn’t much call for a make-up artist out here in the sticks.”

“I told her I’d give them the money to start a salon or something,” I said. “They won’t take it.”

“Ken, you’ve given me more than enough money. I can’t take anymore from you.”

I shook my head at my sister’s strike at independence. I wished her well, but I’d always be there when she needed me.

“Work on her, Mom. Use your motherly magic guilt powers.”

Mom frowned and said, “No, she needs to follow her own path.”

“Well, the offer will always be on the table, Sis.”

She ignored me and stared out the window.

***

After the funeral, we took a small group to the only restaurant in town that could seat us privately. It was a typical mom-and-pop Greek-owned family restaurant, but it had a banquet room in the basement.

I think every small town had one of those cafe-type places, where the coffee was good and the food was bad. It’s as if they didn’t have any salt and pepper in the kitchen. I’ve even left those places if they didn’t have Cholula hot sauce for my veggie omelet. What can I say? I’m a prima donna about some things.

As soon as I walked downstairs into the party room, my breath was taken away by the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. She was stunning, with long red hair, sparkling blue eyes, and what I could only imagine was a firm athletic body, under her dowdy work dress. She could compete with any actress in Hollywood, easily. What was she doing working there?

“Are you gonna be okay, Mom?” I asked as I pulled out her chair, never taking my eyes off of the beauty across the room.

“I’ll never be okay, Kinsey. I miss him every minute of the day. Life goes on though and I’ll keep busy while waiting for grandchildren.”

Jen and I rolled our eyes at the grandchildren comment. It was expected but was getting old. Jen caught me looking at the waitress and smirked.

“Don’t give me that look, you two,” Mom said. “Like we already talked about, you’re thirty-five years old now. Get busy on it!”

We laughed at her naive double-entendre.

Jen said, “Maybe soon, Mom. Cindy wants Ken to artificially inseminate her in the next few years.”

I nodded and said, “I, of course, being a gentleman refuse. I’ll only do it the old-fashioned way.”

“Grrr...”

“Oh, stop it, you two. I think it’s a lovely idea,” Mom said as the sultry waitress filled our water glasses. The meal was pre-ordered and our salads were also placed in front of us. I took another moment to check out my new obsession. I was getting pretty smitten with her.

“I’ve already...Uh...handled my end of the deal, Mom. They just need to shit or get off of the pot.”

Donating my sperm was one of the most embarrassing things I’d ever done. I did it gladly though. I felt it was a great honor for them to choose me as their donor. They just needed to decide to finally go through with it. I know Cindy would do it tomorrow if Jen committed.

“Watch your language!”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“He’s right, Jennifer. Don’t keep me waiting too long.”

“Yes, Mother,” Jen said as she caught me looking at the waitress again. Her eyes drew me in. I couldn’t help but look at the beauty in them.

***

The red-haired goddess came over to our table with the check. I grabbed it before my mother could and she scowled at me as usual.

The waitress looked at me kind of funny and said, “I’m sorry, Sir, but you look so much like Kinsey Greer—it’s uncanny. You must hear that all the time?”

“A lot less since I shaved off my beard this morning,” I said trying to be funny, and handed her my business American Express card. I couldn’t believe I was nervous when she spoke to me.

Kinsey Greer, the Hollywood heartthrob was nervous talking with a waitress from rural Illinois. What was the matter with me?

She smiled and walked away, trying not to be seen looking at the name on my card.

“KenCorp,” it read. I never used a personal credit card for that kind of thing. The last thing I wanted was for someone to steal it or worse for someone to recognize my name if they hadn’t realized who I was.

In LA, I hardly get bothered. I don’t know if it’s just that there are so many celebrities that it’s just another day for folks that see me or if they are so used to it that they just leave me alone as if it’s no big deal. I was fine with it either way.

I saw her look at me as I was saying goodbye to the last aunts and uncles remaining that had lunch with us. The younger folks never seemed to come to after-funeral luncheons. I guess it was an older generation’s thing. I was glad my mom was able to catch up with the family. It just sucks that we only seem to see some family at weddings and funerals.

When I got back to the table, Jen stood and said, “I’ll be right back. Nature calls.”

I noticed her walk in the opposite direction of the bathroom and saw her slip something in the waitress's hand and chat with her for a moment. I figured she was giving her an extra tip, which was stupid of her because I always tipped well, but I wasn’t going to argue about my red-haired girl making some extra money.

*** Lainey

“Come on, you stupid machine,” I said to myself as I ran the credit card. To my horror, the beautiful woman that was with the gorgeous man that made my panties wet all afternoon suddenly stood before me.

“Hi,” she said.

I figured the receipt was taking too long and said, “Oh, hi. Sorry, the machine’s slow today. I’ll have the receipt soon.”

“No, it’s not that. Here.”

She handed me a slip of paper with a phone number written on it. Was she giving me her number? I almost handed it back. She was beautiful, but I wouldn’t be into her. I liked men. I lusted for the man she was with, not her.

As soon as I saw him and brought him salad and water, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. It wasn’t just that he looked like Kinsey Greer, he looked like an Adonis. God! His eyes were crystal blue and he smelled amazing.

The lady spoke, rudely dragging my mind away from picturing his naked chiseled body.

“My brother Ken is shy and he likes you,” she said. “Take the bull by the horns with him and text him later, okay?”

What! She was giving me my dream man’s phone number? I couldn’t believe it and I, of course, panicked.

I faked a smile and said, “He’s really gorgeous. Is this a joke?”

“No, sweetie. It’s your lucky day. You just have to make the first move.”

I thought that was an odd statement and watched as she smirked and turned and walked away.

I slipped the note in my pocket and printed the receipt. I wrapped it around the card and walked to their table.

I was going to say something flirty, something clever to let him know I wanted him to take me into the storeroom and ravish me...

I choked.

I treated him like any other customer and said, “Top copy is ours, I hope everything was to your satisfaction.”

No! I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run. It was all I could do to stop myself from drooling all over the floor.

“It was good, thank you...” he looked at the receipt for a name, “Elaine.”

“It’s Lainey, Sir. The pleasure was all mine. Have a good rest of the day.”

Sir? More like Sir Panty-melter. He couldn’t have been more than ten years older than I was. How silly of me to call him Sir.

I saw his eyes quickly scan my body and I shivered at the thought of him kissing me as I walked away. I put an extra wiggle into my butt and I turned to look over my shoulder and caught him watching me walk away. I smiled and hoped the number was real, while he quickly looked away from me.

I got called up to the main dining room to relieve Dotty for her break and didn’t see him again. I had hoped he’d come looking for me to hand me the receipt, but he gave it to the cashier. I guess he was shy, but I was afraid I was being toyed with and he wasn’t interested in me.

The rest of the afternoon moved so slowly, I thought I would die. I wanted to text him so badly, but I decided to wait until I got home from work. It was torture.

*** Ken

I was sitting on my childhood bed, wishing I had stayed at a comfortable hotel. Mom wouldn’t have allowed it, and under the circumstances, I couldn’t argue. I slept with my feet hanging off the end of the bed like in high school. I hated it then too.

I looked around at my small room with the twin bed, small desk, and lone dresser, and wondered why on TV and in the movies, kids always had big rooms and beds. The kids in my movies had huge rooms—I would’ve liked that.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone buzzing. I put the book I wasn’t reading down and picked it up.

“Hi. How R U.” My screen read.

The text was from a local number that I didn’t recognize nor have saved as a contact. I hoped it didn’t mean I’d need to change numbers again because a fan got my number, it was such a pain for Jen.

“Sorry, who is this? I don’t know your number.”

“Lainey from the restaurant.”

I stared at my phone in shock. I wondered where she got my number, then I realized what happened—Jen.

I shouted, “I’ll get you for this, Jen!”

I heard her laugh through the thin wall and then she said, “You’re welcome. Take her out, loser.”

I hated texting. I debated whether I should call her or continue the texts. She was younger so she probably preferred to text. I decided I didn’t care. Texting was too impersonal.

I typed, “Can you talk?”

She responded, “Yes.”

I smiled and took a second to save her as a contact. I hit her name and she picked up on the first ring.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Lainey. It’s Ken, I’m sorry, but I hate texting.”

“It’s okay. I’d rather talk too,” she lied. I could hear the nervous shake in her voice.

“I guess my sister put you up to this. I’m sorry, she’s a little Impulsive sometimes.”

“No, I swear—I wasn’t put up to it. I really wanted to call you,” she said lightning fast.

I laughed and heard her take a deep breath.

“Easy, girl. I’m just playing,” I said. “Besides, I do look like your favorite actor, right?”

“Oh, Kinsey Greer isn’t my favorite actor. Jim Steel is.”

I threw my head back annoyed. Fucking Jim!

“Of course, he is,” I said. “Everybody loves Jim. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed savior of the universe. You know, if the first Jace Stryker movie wouldn’t have been a smash hit, they never would’ve made the other movies and Jim would still be waiting tables at the Hollywood pancake house.”

Okay, I was a little edgy. Jim’s a good guy and we’re friends. He always razzes me over his being more popular than I am and constantly compares our Twitter and Instagram followers.

“Whoa, someone doesn’t like Jim Steel, huh?”

I sighed.

“No, Jim’s a good guy. His wife is a sweetheart and he’s got the cutest kids...”

“Oh my God, you...?”

Uh oh!

“Holy crap! You are Kinsey Greer, aren’t you?”

I realized I messed up and decided to play it straight with her. I never should have tried to hide who I was anyway. That crap never works for long.