All Comments on 'Heart Shaped'

First of all, I can't help but notice the story measures only one page. It's interesting that you choose to say VD for Valentine's Day- although you explain the abbreviation - - although they're still going to be a fair number of people that that associate VD with venereal disease. The fact that you use heart-shaped we later discover refers to shaping a gift in the form of a woman's bum. There are a number of potential issues with this: number one, it's extremely rare that while a woman may send nude or sexy pictures to her boyfriend or husband, it's extremely rare that she would approve of that person showing them to a random stranger - - regardless of the reason. The story structure suggests this, as the one wife objects to that being done. Also, the fact the contest stipulates this should be in line with a Valentine's Day theme.. in other words, not just revolving around one particular gift, but also involving perhaps the thoughts the sweetness and the consideration that goes into it. So I was certainly looking for those things in the story.

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One thing I checked is how reasonable it is Stan could have gotten good enough with hypnosis in just two years. Turns out it's true: it takes 9 days and 100 classroom hours plus 300 pages of reading to earn a basic certification. So although you don't detail any of this beforehand.. it is possible. The problem becomes that while this does involve an element of Mind Control., it's structurally far more in the fetish or even BDSM category - - specifically the D&S side. Additionally, it could go into the Loving Wives, because this is clearly a soft swap, just as your tag indicates. Another issue is that they take pictures of their wives without their consent. In fact, it almost- - because you don't develop it further and ensure that this route isn't taken--implies that one or both of the husbands might post these pictures online. Moreover, this type of photographic session is really not far removed from many of the internet sex scenes where after they finish it on certain sites, they take pictures of how the woman looks after the act is completed or even sometimes during certain acts- - precisely for uploading thumbnails. It seriously degrades the women, and while yes one is an exhibitionist, I'm almost thinking this angle may have been floated better by having the chocolate creator infuse the chocolate with a cannabis extract, ensuring that husbands and even both wives would have had their inhibitions lowered more than enough to do this and make it even more credible. I even checked that, and it's a very common practice, where the effects may need at least 30 minutes to start or or also require up to 4 hours to start; this would have allowed you more time to show them losing their inhibitions and at least feeling comfortable with doing all these things rather than being more of a D&S kind of relationship and therefore they might have been willing to do it again at a later time--because they realize somewhere subconsciously that they actually did want to be more exhibitionist with their husbands and at least they wanted to willingly later do the soft swap. It's just that this story objectifies these women far more than it is romantic, and that's not in line with Valentine's Day - - it's more like taking advantage of them in ways the husband's never would have been able to do before.

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There's actually three authors that I read regularly on Lit that actually do these things from time to time, and will do the D&S side of BDSM, and they will even include some soft swaps. The difference is they take the time to flesh out why those pairings work, and they don't make it seem like the woman is getting used or even taken advantage of. I really wish I would have seen far more charm in this, because it doesn't really respect the spirit of Valentine's Day. Add to that the story only goes to one page, which is insufficient to create a plausible development later. Because of these factors, the best I can rate this is a 2.

Tsk Tsk Comentarista82. Thanks for your elitist comments and your choices to see evil intents where there are none. I guess dismissing the VD clarity from the first sentence is your version of a straw man.

Did you miss where I wrote that they started drinking within minutes of arriving? Inhibitions drop as drinks increase.

There's no hint of BDSM in this even if you choose to see it.

At no point do I hint that photos will be posted or shared. Only those 4 will see them for new perspectives and graphic reminders of the loving acts performed.

That the husband had a photo of his wife's ass isn't unusual. Nowhere do I suggest she was opposed to that. Her surprise was sharing it with the chocolatier --- then she wasn't angry as she liked flashing when it "wasn't her fault." She enjoyed it.

The fact that the wives continued to cooperate after the 'spell' was broken says a lot about their mindset. Further proof that they didn't feel abused was their kissing and 69 next to their mates and not once objecting to the photos.

While a little more detail might have helped, it is 3000 words and set on VD in private with a romantic, custom commissioned gift, not some boxed candy.

You superimposed your own views instead of seeing what's here. This is NOT constructive criticism.

I liked this story. Unlike the comments below, I found the entire VD party entirely plausible, funny and erotic. Two sisters and two BIL's who have had sexy times together before seem ideal candidates for this experience. I did think Lois' sudden turnaround was suspect, but it made a good story. Thanks for writing it.