All Comments on 'Hearth and Home'

A story with a good quick pace that was interesting to read.

The characters were very well developed and felt to be real to life when I read the story.

I thought the ending was fantastic.

Thanks for the read...

You really are improving with each story you write. Keep up the good work.

Sentiment good in not accepting cheating wife. However, what's good for the gander is also good for the goose. So, the fact is he is another gun crazy cheater and therefore has no right to go off because his wife is going to follow his pattern.

it is like the old jack Friday act. give me the facts ,just the facts. the old cop

tv show it`s like a in your face tale. ok but could be more.

after he admitted to infidelity himself, but thought that his wife cheating was unacceptable. goose and gander is all I can say.

This is so lame on so many levels. He's still a wimp, even with guns, boxing and Karate lessons.

I think that those who panned this tale did not pick up on the protagonist's subtle conversion from a world class jerk to a pretty good guy. It made the story for me.

Good job.

Bill1104

You may want to fire Harry R and get a new editor, apart from the abysmal storyline where they should both be shot, it was just plain painful to read.

Thank you for your story. It's about time a author had a lead character with a set of balls and used them. The endless whiners and wimps are monopolizing this site. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Thanks again.

That was a great story for real men who know the most important thing in life is to fulfill their mission as a father, and if she lets you, as a husband. As far as the law is concerned, It should be perfectly legal to kill a man who is fucking your wife and destroying your family! Same goes for women that fuck married men. They are shit and deserve death. The cheating spouse deserves the same too, but if the cheated spouse sees a use for her, she can get a life sentence instead.

The transitions nicely painted in the story really do happen. You can learn to love and you can change things in yourself. Obviously that is in direct confrontation with the mantra, "Once a cheater, always a cheater".

Two cheaters but the stonger of the pair prevailed and then changed into a better person, I liked the story and look forward to more of your writing. Loved that the flawed hero used a .460 S&W revolver.

A relationship is a two way street. There are probably more assholes like this out there than any of us would like to admit. Well written.

may be 357mag or 44mag non??? you don't pull the triger back to cock a revolver .....you pull the hammer back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheating is forbidden for her, but he is free to go after stange pussies. This story is a classical double standard story. May this husband character be the bull at other cuckold pairs????

This pathetic wimp had to read loving wives stories on Literotic to find out how a wife goes about cheating.

I think what upset him about her cheating was that she was planning to leave and take his kids with her, also while he might have been cheating he never disrespected her in public; something she had been doing. Still cheating on ur spouse is always wrong, if u dont love em anymore FOR THE LUV OF CHRIST JUST DIVORCE FIRST!!! Quit adding insult with infidelity.

Q: Why did the "btb"er cross the road?

A: Because that's what chickens do, stupid!!

Q: how does a "btb"er define the word "manly?"

A: fifteen guns and 2 and a half inches!

Contrary to some, I really liked the story. In the end he found out that a lot of the problem was him and his approach to his wife and life in general. A somewhat spoiled man/boy who had some money and looks, who took everything for granted. Surprise, surprise, he had a woman at home, his wife who was probably hotter than anything he was sticking his dick into on the side. The one thing that does not quite ring true is Greta not realizing he never really loved her. Women can sense these things, but she may have settled for the good looks and the money instead of what her gut told her.

I gave you five stars for telling the complete story, instead of only one side of it.

Forgot to add a comment about the .460 S&W. A really bad choice of weapons, too loud and not very common, so easily traced, even though supposedly there was no record of it's sale "to him". A much better choice is a .22, much quieter and very, very common.

Not that I would condone such activities, no sir, not me.

A XVIII Centurian Aristrocrat thinks so that this husband thinks. He goes for free pussy hunting, but his wife must be at home to bring up the children. It is a honest connection. He is not wimp, he is same cheater as his wife is. Yes I agree she was humiliated him first, so she started the all thing, so the husband's free ticket is a special not humuliating redemption. However they are in same level in the next part of their marriage.

I have a story plan where a husband discovers his wife has few flings and they have 3 children. The husband will have secret flings too. The pairs will be two cheaters, so the wife does not know her husband is a cheater too. A cassical not declarated open marriage. They bring up their children and my story will start, where this story's epiloge..................The title will be "The End of My Open Marriage".

I do not like the one sided cuckold life style connections but this marriage is not the ideal mutual connection too.

I gave 5*****, because this story is better with a mile than the one sided sicko stories.

If the owners of the Lit divaded into 2 parts the Loving Wives hub, I would give only 3***. However we must know this story shows double standard.

I liked it, finally a guy with some hair around his balls. The only thing that would have made it better was to have made her wear a chastity belt and never gave her any sex. Just keep her as a maid and find your pussy elsewhere. She was a skank and deserved to be treated like a diseased skank.

I struggled to make it past the second page! I don't mean to be mean , I'm just trying to be honest and hopefully save a few people the time and the pain of having to read this super boring story . I would rather read the yellow pages.

I quit reading half way through page one and jumped to the comments to see if my low opinion was supported by others. The comments encouraged me to continue reading the story from where I left off. I am glad I finished the story. You had the husband evolve from a Neanderthal to a somewhat sensitive and introspective man. The wife went from cold skank to a dedicated mother and lover. It takes a damn good author to write something like this. Thanks for writing.

She still was a cheat. What caused the change in her, the aspiring career girl? The frustrated wife and mother? Her old personality coming back?

I think that the story from her perspective would be a ice closure.

That story was excellent. Far better than your last one. You went from zero to hero. Now I know you can write.....I'll except more of the same.

Great story from you.this one really worked and could really happen in our world. So that makes it a great read . At least they both got there shit together and made a life for them selfs. He wanted to do his thing , she went on to do her thing and they both realized the error of there ways . Like I said a great story.

shut the fuck up already

at least to me.

Didn't see one yet...

Anyway, a very funny story - and made to make amusing comments.

And I don't think I was being metaphorical there.

Green-something

Let's say you are an idiot --like DUNA for example --and you think this story is about a double standard where the husband can cheat and it's acceptable but when the wife decides to engage in cheating ... then suddenly it's not OK. If that's your analysis of the story... then take it from me.. you are a serious fucking idiot.

I am not a huge fan of this author's stories. Some of this stuff is pretty good and some of it not so much. As far as the actual story goes I don't think this one really works but that isnt my point here. This author is NOT trying to write a story about a double standard.

He is writing a story about marriage were neither of them were really trying for the first several years of the marriage. Then the Shock of discovering the wife's affair with several men shattered the Husbands' view of the world and how " things" work and what the " rules" are.

The husband began this as a spoiled obnoxious arrogant knuckle dragging right wing ignorant WASP --- the type of professional douche day that voted for Bush and Romney and only watch as Fox news. It is true that he had numerous affairs-- mostly one night stands-- early in the marriage because is arrogance and because he was not really putting in a good faith effort into the marriage... It turn out to be a pretty shallow and unfilling marriage. If he was so unfair filled sexually within the marriage... the husband should have made a good faith to try and fix that .

The Wife's issues were little different. She comes across as being quite immature and unsophisticated early in the marriage. It seems as if she did not know any better-- the sex was kind of bland which the wife assumed was "normal".

That being said there are 2 key difference in this story that separates the husband's cheating from the wife's cheating . First -- the wife appeared to fuck her way to the top.... whereas the husband did not have to do that . Of course one could make the argument that he had other advantages early in life. Second... He never showed her intentional or public dis respect .

AS FAR AS THE STORY GOES ... what I dont get is WHY the Husband's perspective began to change in the story's Epilogue. This author should of explored that in more detail. in other words it is great to see the light going on in the husband;s brain.. ("I wondered sometimes if some of what had happened might have been my fault"... and this "was I supposed to be doing this crap all along?.."). I would of enjoyed reading more about HOW the light went on.

Of rotting cat shit. Not just cat shit ... shit from a cat that's been eating frogs. Have you ever smelled the shit of a frog-eating cat? Trust me. It reeks. This was perhaps the biggest watse of my time since The Lord of The Rings. I think your story has given me scabs on my eyeballs.

Please stop.

The word is "lintel" not "lentil"

Simply because you hit the nail on the head with what it was really all about. If I were on a jury and a guy was up for killing a sleaze ball cause he was threat to family break up, my verdict would let him walk.

Let the cunt walk as long as she leaves the kids.

I liked this story Carvohi, One of your better stories. Fuck the dog shit eating fuck nuts who did not like it. A 38up their ass and blow their balls and cock off.

The broad strokes of the story (two immature parents eventually growing up after serious misjudgments) were very good. Many of the details SUKT! For example, taking her car to the Bull's apartment was a smart move. The choice of a too-powerful pistol was stupid. Don't think I would agree about a .22 rimfire (too many head shots survive), but a .380 or, at most, a.38 Special or 9mm would get the job done dependably and a bit more quietly!

Next, don't call Sweetie on YOUR cell phone. Have the Bull use his house phone or HIS cell phone! You can tell Sweetie you visited her Bull when you get back home, if you wish (assuming you spared his ass! Else, no way in Hell!)

Talking turkey with Sweetie was a great component of this tale! But, if Sweetie evaluates his method she will, within several months, be weeping over Hubby's grave. He needs to elaborate the plan he has for the kids in case of his untimely demise...and that a trusted friend has a dossier that would make her a top suspect.

Generally, a very good concept (especially his gradual realization that he was contributing to her dissatisfaction but could turn it around to mutual love!)

5*

I think we all have our opinions about government and politics. I certainly do. If you want to know what my ideas are send me an email. Right now your Literotica contact is cut off. The things I'm writing I hope are just fun and interesting stories. I have my political views, but like religion I keep them to myself. Harry you live in Virginia in the good old USA. One thing we all know; you seldom find three people at any one time in one place who will all agree on anything. That's because we're free. I'm constructing a story right now I think I'll title 'Deadlier Than the Male'. There may be some inferred political comment inside, but it won't reveal my views, or any views for that matter. I'd like you to read when it gets out. carvohi

Nice tale, thanks for taking the time to write this story and share it with us.

This story sucked!!!!! Nothing wrong with the text but your storyline really sucked. Thanks for the read.

Keep 'em coming. 5*s

Very funny, poignant, and sorta true to life. A completely entertaining read.

As for politics, your character probably represents the real NRA membership. Not the rightwing nutjobs the NRA leadership panders to in order to protect profits for the gun manufacturers.

Looking forward to the next one.

I was hooked by the first paragraph because it seemed interesting and funny, then I got to the part about his excuses for screwing around. I didn't have the patience to read any further. Maybe I'll read further on a future story...

The guy is a clown.

but the fear of fear creates peace. TK U MLJ LV NV

Interesting read but not one of your best. I don't like cheaters and the way the husband justified his affairs wasn't quite right. The wife was a cheater also. Basically they were two losers who deserved each other. As long as they care for the kids the right way. I didn't like the ending where they became all lovey-dovey. Never happen. Oh well.

@ Harry

The TRUE open marriage is such a connection, where the two partners follow 3 rules.

1. Both spouses hid the extramarital activity from the other. Shortly: Do not humiltate your spouse.

2. The common house, condo, apartment is lack of extramarital activity. Mainly: where the common children live!!!!!!!

3. To avoid STDs, bastard production, criminals, long term connections, etc..

The TRUE open marriage can be declarated or non declarated.

The wife injured the first rule, she humuliated her husband, but the husband changed this marriage to an XVIII Centurian aristrocrat sex practice. Mozart "Marriage of Figaro", but Comte Almaviva (I am sorry the husband) reintroduces the juss prime noctis (I am sorry The free pussy hunting in Main during deer hunting, lonely adventures, when the wife (she is cheater too) deals with the children at home.).

Yes he promised he would not injure the open marriage 3 rules, BUT THESE RULES APPLIES ONLY TO THE HUSBAND!!!!! THE WIFE MUST REMAIN AT HOME WITH THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!THE EXTRAMARITAL ACTIVITY MUST NOT DO FOR THE WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The husband told the face of the wife. It could be said this was a sort of revenge, because the wife humuliated him first. Yes, I agree the wife was more responsible that this pair connection became a sexist version of the marriage. She humiliated her husband first. However this is a total exact example the sexist XVIII centurian aristrocrat behavioral, so it is a sexist DOUBLE STANDARD.

I try to explain better, what I say. The Nazi Germany had to destroy by the ally powers. But I think nothing verifies the atrocitates of Soviet Union's Red Armee at the East German territory.............(1,5 million civil died people and rape against women from 13 years old to 70 years old.) Except for the double standard!

The British, American, French soldiers did not do similar mass atrocities in the Western part of Germany.

One thing who began to destroy this marriage, yes the wife, as (who was the responsible to begin the genocidium, yes the nazi Germany.)

Second The husband sexist double standard response (The Soviet's Red Army's atrocitates.)

Theres are two 460 calibre pistols, the 460 S&W was introduced in 2005, the other available is the 460 Rowland available in custom built 1911 pistols by Wilson.

The first is a part of the fireplace just above its opening -- it helped hold up the bricks in older fireplace design and above it, one often saw a firearm or animal head or whatever. The second is a legume, so rich in protein it is a mainstay for parts of India where many are vegetarians.

Aside from this and one or two other minor technical errors, the story was well-written. It read smoothly. It kept this reader's interest. But I marked it down because of several plot holes.

One very obvious error; you can "turn off" the GPS on your cell phone to an extent, but the police can always find out where the phone is located (and where it has been) unless the battery is pulled. But our hero forced lover boy to make a call to wifey with his personal cell. It would give the lie to any alibi he might give the police, and his father would land in jail for the lie as well.

In fact, he's not as smart as he thinks he is. Greta could easily poison him as someone else pointed out. A little arsenic, some castor bean extract, it would be a little here and a little there. I doubt she would start to love him while living in fear of him. She doesn't seem like the battered wife type. Also, the kids would sense what's going on, they always do.

Most women would record the threats (get him to reiterate them; it would feed his ego). Then old lover boy would be interviewed by police about the 460 Magnum placed in his mouth, and hubby would be keeping Bubba company for a long time.

There are times where staying in the marriage can be worse than divorce, for all parties concerned. If Greta were moving up so well in her job, relocated to another city for advancement, etc., then he probably would not need to pay alimony.

If he gathered evidence that she played no role in the kids' upbringing, she did not go to school conferences, recitals, etc., he might even get custody. I doubt she could tap his inheritance. So why wouldn't he be better off divorcing the woman, when he doesn't love her nor her him? It almost seems appearances are more important to Jeremy than reality.

what you missed vulcan is that people who are very afraid don't always go to the police, especially when the person will not go away forever and after he spends some time with bubba in the joint he will be in a very bad mood when he gets out.

a restraining order is just a piece of paper and does not make you or your family bullet proof.

I didn't like when the story went into the threaten the wife with death if she doesn't kow-tow to the hubby's demands part. That was distasteful to me. But, it was interesting (similar device to that used in a recent TxTallTales story), and I guess the epilogue is an attempt to rehabilitate the hubby (though its perhaps unintended message is that such bullying can be a good thing....).

I thought some of the body was really good-especially the incident at the BBQ. That quality meat of the story was overwhelmed by the fat of digressions, background, and other excessive wordiness, however. The story should have been half as long.

I liked the style. However, the wife's actual motivation was never clear. Did she want the divorce, did she want the other guy, did she just want the promotion, did she want to set herself up for her own life, did she want....well, her motivations were too unclear. I think the author missed an opportunity to get to the heart of that.

I enjoyed your tale. The plot holes referred to by others demonstrate unlike males seeking revenge in other stories, this guy was not the brightest bulb in the room. I mean get real the pussy hound didn't even know about a GSpot what is where it is or what it does! So it does not strain credibility that he would use his own phone or fail to take precautions from his wife or use the wrong gun etc etc. The evolution of the couple as a couple was interesting. The humiliation at the BBQ was good but could have been better.

Yeah, there were holes. But it's literotica, so, it's mostly the flow.

I liked how the husband evolved. We really didn't get as good a picture of how the wife evolved. Maybe I need to read again to get that picture.

Personally, I don't know how I would be able to play it cool if my wife disrespected me to the degree the wife in this story did. And the wife's utter disdain makes me think that she was not worth keeping.

But I liked the confrontation with the other man. Sure, hubby probably showed his hand when he called his wife on his phone--he couldn't very kill the dude after that--but that scene played well. I felt the husband explained the "out of love" situation very well: who DOES love someone the same as they did more than a decade into a relationship?

I think people with the "double standard" issues fail to recognize that it wasn't the cheating that the wife did so much as the disrespect that made her's so odious. If she wanted out of a marriage, get out. If she just wanted to cheat, do it so that it's not out in the open. She did neither and almost got a man killed--people do get killed for that level of disrespect.

Anyway, good story. I gave it a 5 because I liked the protagonist that much.

They certainly shared the blame for their relationship. What a pair of idiots. Nicely done story. I enjoyed it.

but my head hurts after I read one of his tales. Too much thinking is required!

A real change from the normal BTB or cuck fables.

Well done....I gotta go get some asprin...

Both cheaters -

Neither respects or truly cares about the other - just themselves

We are left to accept they both care about their shared children -

He is capable (we are to believe) of making them believe he is capable of kill one or both of them -

Hey it all works as far as it goes - then he figures out he really doe love her and wants her in his life - more than fucking around. She figures out she likes him - even loves him - and is willing to operate under the new rues - she MAY just not be as calculating and willing to hurt as he is portrayed. Maybe she even does some self searching like he did and wakes up to how good it is and it is getting better??

They redefine what they want and find it in each other - what a concept LOL

Nice!

I'm not sure I could have slept in the same bed with her. Or eaten the food she prepared. Or turned my back to her. After threatening her life, don't you think, as scared as she must have been, that it never crossed her mind to kill you? Given that she was small, I'm thinking poison.

But I still want to know why on earth he let her get away with saying he was "nobody, just my husband." He should have frog marched her out to the car immediately in front of her friends and coworkers. Then hauled her ass home and give her the "straighten up and fly right lecture" along with a quick course in divorce. Plus I want to know how he got a 460 XVR in his pants pocket. The damn thing has a 14" barrel and over all length is 21.5". Yeah, it would stick out of his pocket at LOT. Hell, the pistol even comes with a bi-pod to rest it on when you shoot because it weighs 5.5 pounds. A nice Smith & Wesson Model 19 .357magnum would serve just as well or maybe a Dirty Harry special Model 29 in .44magnum.

you disrespect me like that party or not and your getting turned over my knee and spanked.And yes I can and have .

For absolute failure to create anything, especially a believable story. He fucks around on her, then decides that when the kids come along to stop? We believe that? With a wife that he claims is terrible in bed? No wonder. She's scared of the fucking bully. He makes her gut and dress a deer even though it makes her sick? This guy is an animal and deserves to be put down - hard. Instead of going upstairs, she goes out to her car and goes to her parents. She tells them the story of her cheating and his abuse and threats. The next day they have a restraining order throwing him out of the house and away from her and the kids. In the divorce she gets the house, the kids (with substantial support), alimony and an ongoing restraining order (Weaver's testimony almost sends him to jail). He sees the kids once a month with Court ordered supervision. That is the way it plays out. Your ending made me choke.

carvohi, I must admit that I have not been a big fan of yours to date but this latest story "Hearth and Home" has certainly improved my opinion of your writing skills. The first page or so I was really getting a serious hate on for your character Jeremy and was thinking he had damn well earned Greta's disrespect.

You managed to pull the story together, giving it a boost of dramatic confrontation. That forced your characters to an epiphany of self-realization. For all of them to honestly face up to how their bad behavior threatened to destroy themselves and their families. They had to stop pretending to be adults and live up to the responsibilities of maturity and being parents.

I am now of the opinion that this is a superb example of fictional writing.

Some of what you say is probably right she could get a restraining order and the boss could have him arrested but there is no evidence to make a conviction stick for assault or the threats so he would get off that. The courts would also over turn the restraining order because the is no physical evidence only a wife's testimony, interviews with the in laws and friends and the child psychologist report would confirm he was not a threat to the children or wife. The divorce could go either way depending if she keeps her job. He has been the main caregiver for many months and interviews with teachers, coaches and friends would show that he looked after the children. She almost certainly made more than he did so he would most likely get shared custody and the house until the kids left and no alimony from her because of his trust fund. If she was fired for gross misconduct (no boss is going to risk his job to keep a whore no matter how wide she spreads) and get the house and shared custody, alimony is doubtful given she was making more than him. Tony

PS but who knows justice is blind.

Dumb Ass Faggot story.

Always thought what a better world this would be, if everyone was terrified to fuck with another man's life.

Took me quite a while to stop calling him an arrogant asshole.

I first read this story shortly after you posted it, and I did not comment at that time -- although I was bummed about a number of things. I just read it again, and I think the issues raised by other commenters pretty much cover the subject, except for one item.

Obviously, you know little about guns, and you did some fast research to try and make it look like you do. You failed.

Someone must have told you that the .460 Magnum is pretty powerful, and it is. However, you clearly do not understand how big and bulky it is. You said you put it in your pocket and it "stuck out a lot." Yet you seem to think you could successfully carry it in your pocket.

Do you really think you can carry a 15-inch-long, stainless steel, 4 and 3/4 pound revolver in your pocket -- even if it sticks out "a lot"? And, if you could, do you think your wife's paramour wouldn't notice it sticking out "a lot" until you pull it on him? The barrel alone is 8 3/4 inches long, so if you tried to stick it in your pocket, the heaviest part of the revolver would hang outside, probably twisting upside down and either fall out of your pocket or hang upside down, caught in your pants, and bang against your leg as you walk.

There is only one such gun on the market, it is made by Smith & Wesson, and it is every bit as big as I describe. (Incidentally, the .460 is not the biggest and most powerful magnum that S&W makes, so if that was what you were trying for, you failed there, too.)

The lesson here is don't write about something of which you are ignorant.

. . . it's ordinary. The last section is nothing short of terrific. Sweetly and cleverly done.

I have not read other comments, so I'm sure everything I say has already been covered, but Ce La Vie

I am BTB, but I don't reserve that for just bad women. I feel that it should be more like BTASCC... burn the arrogant, self-centered cheats.... male or female.

The thing that bothers me is the betrayal and disrespect of cheaters.

So your protagonist was not somebody I had any sympathy for, being right in that category himself with both feet.

So I read the story, suspending judgement till I got the whole thing under my belt and could work out what you were trying to say.

It was engaging, and I was entertained, but at the end, I still had no sympathy for anyone but the kids. I was not disturbed or outraged, I think it came out pretty even-handed, with the best possible outcome (protecting the children's nurturing environment and upbringing) ...what happened for either parent I didn't really care about.

I did, however, connect with one small thread and took it as my own, and your protagonist exhibited this thread,and so in a way he was still the hero of the piece even though I didn't really like him.

That 'thread'... (I wonder if it was the soul aim of the story? Dressed up in a modern parable?) ...is as follows:

- She had the law, he had the guns.

- He was going to protect what was his, end of story.

- When she stepped out, when she decided it was time to trade up on her whole life, and betray him and her family on multiple levels... SHE became,and WAS, the threat to what was his.

- He simply committed to a course of action, was not emotional or enraged or out of control: he was going to do what he could to prevent the destruction of the family structure... and try to prevent the associated INEVITABLE damage to his children. If that meant that she was the enemy, well too bad, because she had already made herself the enemy of the family unit with her ambition.

- It evolved to a BETTER outcome than it could have, simply because she was blatantly delivered the facts: if she continued on her selfish path, there WOULD be corrective action:

LET THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE OUTCOME OF SUCH DEEDS COME BACK TO REST ON THE HEADS OF THOSE WHO CAUSED THE ISSUE IN THE FIRST PLACE (male or female, same applies to both).

If we lived in a world like that, then there would be a whole lot more stability, and a whole lot less destruction of the social fabric of our society. There would be a lot less damaged kids growing up, carrying problems further.

And damn the lawyers, beaurocrats and courts.

Yes, it could have all gone pear-shaped... yes, he could have ended up in jail with a new boyfriend named Bubba, yes, she could have lawyered up and gone nuclear, but you know what? Let the chips fall where they lay. If you think you can fuck with what's mine, then expect there is a price, and I will do whatever is in MY power to protect the innocent and protect my patch.

I somehow think if this tale had turned dark, your protagonist would never have made it to jail anyway... but nobody else would have been left standing to steal all his spilt poker chips.

So if that's a part of what you were trying to say with your tale, CUDOS!

I don't give a shit about technical errors on an amateur story website. You all do your best (or some of you), and some of the works are above and beyond the average.

I think this is one of those stories... just well disguised.

Thanks for making me think.

And at least there were no pathetic, wimpy, cream-sucking cucks or sicko wife sharers. They ALSO tear at the fabric of our society with their demented desires.

And for the record, FRONTLINECASTER SUCKS... and I'm not just talking about the cocks that he enjoys smoking.

I think you got most of it. The protagonist here though was a cad himself. Near the end of the story he started to catch on that if he changed a little other things would change. I like to think he turned out to be a pretty nice guy, and his wife, someone who always had been at least OK, got t o have a fresh start. Also thanks for not castigating me about my poor understanding of pistols. I only fired one pistol once, a Smith and Wesson, and that was half a century ago. Thanks also for overlooking my numerous errors.

Thanks for your quick reply to my thoughts 'The Good And The Bad'.

Your reply and your efforts are much appreciated. You gave me even more to consider.

Cheers, Max

A "lentil" is a bean, a legume. The word you were looking for is "lintel", the part of a fireplace above the firebox and below the mantle.

The often misused "clip" is a small metal device used to hold loose cartridges (not bullets) together so they can be loaded into a "magazine". The magazine (detachable or not) is the part of a firearm the holds extra cartridges (or rounds) prior to loading them into the chamber. Clips are almost never used with civilian ammunition.

Thanks for your remarks, but I've heard both before. The misuse of the word lentil instead of lintel was an honest to God brain fart. The malapropisms with regard to firearms reflects my lack of knowledge. I do own firearms. I own two shotguns and a 22 cal. rifle. I even used to hunt, but got tired of being out in the cold sitting beside some shivering dog. I've promised other people who've written comments that I'd steer clear of future references to guns and such except in passing.

first off, why would he marry someone he didnt love? his reactions are very close to what i would do. if your gonna take my family from me you better have plenty of life insurance.even though the husband acted like i would when he found out about the a cheating.he was a major hypocrite. its alright for him to cheat but not his wife.

I see a comment here under my moniker that I don't remember making.

Fairly heavy handed and crude it was too.

Around the middle of the year - I was out doing other things (getting orthopedic surgery, actually...)

I'll have to see if there is any way to get a list of my comments here - but it seems as if I may have to do some cleaning up.

Green-something

(sorry about that)

The main character in this story started out as something of a cad, a Lothario, a self centered egoist. He gradual began to recognize that he wasn't quite the man he thought he was. As he grew up his marriage changed and improved. Why did he marry her? He loved her, but for a long time he loved himself more. Let's just be glad he worked it all out, and he and his wife started to share a real relationship.

Typical hypocritical shit from the kind of guys like you who ruin this section. A woman having an affair and preparing to leave her husband is an evil whore while her cheating, emotionally abusive, violent psychopath of a husband is held up as a hero and rewarded for his behavior. His cheating and his behavior is completely forgiven and swept under the rug while if she even decides to divorce him he'll murder her. You are a sick fucking son of a bitch.

You are a huge part of what ruins this section.

there is a mile between like and love. TK U MLJ LV NV

Sure this story is way over the top. His use of a firearm, and his admission to his past indiscretions were both indicative of a very egotistical self-centered man. However, the theme of this story is one of personal discovery. Our very self-absorbed protagonist slowly becomes aware of his personal shortcomings, and in the process grows into the kind of man a good woman would want. He grew from a narcissistic over-aged adolescent to become a genuine man. Isn't that a good story?

Some readers and comment writers I suppose are just too immature to understand that people are capable of growth and change. They have my sympathy.

The theme of your story is that it's okay to use violence and the threat of death to keep a woman frightened and unable to leave an abusive relationship. That is not a sign of "maturity", it's a sign something is wrong with you.

I know husbands that this could fit and true to life...

Need to get a sex change so one can be the others bitch without fear of being accused of such unmanly goings-on as homosexuality. What trifling drivel. Keep writing this bullshit. Keep wondering why people laugh at you, both in the real world & here. No I am not the least bit embarrassed or ashamed at being anonymous. It's time to start paying to get on sites that require writers to have emotional & social maturity. The 20th century is over.

It is usually wasted effort for an author to debate the validity of a critic's remarks but in this case Carvohi's response is squarely on point. This story is fundamentally about the husband's personal redemption. The author freely acknowledges that the narrative is "over the top" but no one should think that he is endorsing spousal abuse. Rather he is exploring what it really means to be a devoted husband and a loving husband. I applaud his uniquely inventive approach to this issue particularly since he is one of the few truly talented writers still posting in the LW genre. I hope he continues.

It's different but also human nature, you know caveman stuff.....5....and too a good write.....

bill.....

Not a single likeable character in this story. He was an especially nasty piece of work. She just seemed stupid. Well written but not an enjoyable read. And regardless of your portrayal of him as a badass, I don't know how he EVER slept next to her or ate anything she cooked for him ever again. UGH.

Yeah he was a creep, but her figured things out and cleaned up his act. The wife; well she really did love the guy once he started to change. It's fiction; it's all in fun.

I really liked the tongue-in-cheek aspect of the story. As you said, just a story, but a good one. I didn't like her lack of respect for him, but that may have been caused by his lack of respect for her. And maybe his hillbilly lack of ambition. Didn't matter they didn't need the money, that "I cain't fix the leak in the roof when it's raining and when it ain't raining it don't leak" attitude can be wearing on someone who has drive, like she apparently did. Good resolution and worked out well, after all was the author's story to tell and justify.

Thanks carvohi.

The underlying premise of redemption was good. Unfortunately the story doesn't show redemption, only reconciliation. It does nothing to address Jeremy's view that he's entitled to kill what he feels he "owns". One star.

Redemption would have Greta leaving Jeremy and him realizing that the does not have the "right" to hold on to her or the children if the law rules otherwise.

getting a hardassed, self-congratulating narrator to figure out how to warm up his marriage when his wife is unresponsive, unable to take initiatives because she's even more clueless. And not at all easy, you and your narrator each persuasively justifying a continuing marriage after a flagrant infidelity, and then making it work! I prefer your sensitively nuanced narrators, but this one is fun to follow as he takes action, then as the essentials sink in and are adequately understood.

...no character was likeable in the entire story, not one.

If you're going to stick a gun into the mouth of another human being, man up and pull the trigger. And authors, know your firearms, in this instance, I don't believe carvohi does. Know your topic, no sportsman would ever throw out their deer heads or other trophies. They are a reminder of the hunt and everything that went in to it.

Sorry but...

I apologized about the pistol error. About the deer heads; wouldn't that decision be an indication of just how serious our protagonist was with regard to his decision to be a better husband? About unlikable characters; are any of us all that good?

Thanks for the comment; it made me go back and rethink something i'm currently writing.

Fianlly! For once we see a guy who wasn't rethinking everything, almost apologetic about getting angry at someone who was fucking up his family. Thanks for having a writer who has the balls to have his protagonist tell the old lady she was a dead fuck. I am so tired of female characters who all possess a snapping pussy! Now if we could only have an authors who, when the wife accuses the husband of having a small dick, has the guts to point out that maybe his wife has the problem with a huge pussy!

He: You know sweetie, I could use a little pussy.

She: Me, too! Mine's as big as a house!

Neat little tale. He did put as much effort into it as the "emasculated" husbands.

I realize he can’t talk about what he and Marge spoke about, but why doesn’t he confront her about her behavior and how she treated him at the barbecue?

Probably just a typo, but the song about the Germans was by Tom Lehrer, not Lehr.

And while it may have been deserved here, too many of your stories seem to end up with the husband putting a lot of the blame on himself. Well, even to the extent that is true, the wife has an obligation to call him on his flaws, not cheat on him.

Thanks for writing. tom anon

P.S. From many of the comments you must have thought you somehow posted to a gun magazine rather than to lit!

Reads like a good ole boy's solution after about six beers.

Sounds like it played out about right here below the M-D Line.

Kudos for a fine story.

Until one night i had a strong taste of almonds in my mouth after drinking a coffee.

Greta had poisoned me and the coroner picked up my body in the morning.

i don't know what happened to Greta because I was fucking dead.

Gave you a 5

But it is still a good fantasy. Thanks.

That says it all