Hearts Academy Ch. 04

"Oh?" That word piqued her interest immediately and Dana couldn't help but to regret his choice of language.

"Not like that." He quickly dismissed her thoughts before she could voice them. "Not like how you're thinking."

"And how am I thinking?" Dana turned back to face her. She sat in the center of the room upon one of the few chairs gathered there. She was smiling, but he knew that. Her voice was always sweet and soft when she smiled.

"You know." He sighed shaking his head. "Look, I mean emotionally open."

"Emotionally? As opposed to what?" She leaned forward with curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

"Mademoiselle, with all due respect, please stop asking me leading questions."

"I wasn't leading," She paused and frowned. "Oh, forget it."

"Good." He nodded.

"She sounds interesting."

"She's supposed to."

"So, when can I meet her?"

"Meet her?" He balked at the proposition. She was purely hypothetical. A piece of fiction crafted solely for this exact scenario.

"My English isn't that bad, Dana. Yes, meet her."

"She's not real?"

"Why not?"

"Well," He paused. "Because she's a hypothetical imaginary idea?"

"You really do not understand, do you?"

"No." He sighed throwing his hands up in defeat. "I do not."

"You fear to explore your own self."

"I do not-"

"Yes, you do Dana. We just had this conversation." Her voice turned sour immediately as he tried to talk back.

"Whatever."

"American pride." She sighed. "Whatever the reasons, you fail to plunge into those depths and failure is something I cannot truly abide by. The idea that you created is so much more than just that. It is something I wish for you to embrace, to become."

"I'm not following."

"Dana, gender is so much more than what you believe. You keep something beautiful locked deep within you. This idea, this persona, this girl is not just some distant thought. It's a part of you. Look around you what do you see?"

"Clothes." He shrugged.

"No, Dana Morgan. Possibilities." She smiled. "You know who you want to be, but do you know who you should be? If you can learn to look past that masculine pride, that urge to shun that which is distant and strange then you will not just be different. Dana, you will be better! You will be more adjusted, more empathetic, more developed. Dana, you will be a better man."

"And you think that putting on women's clothes will do that?" He frowned. "I don't see the correlation."

"Of course, you don't." She rolled her eyes. "That's why I'm the teacher. Imagine her. Imagine her and tell me, how would a girl who is kind, open, respectful, and gentle dress? How would she show herself to the outside world?"

"I-"

"Don't speak!" She leapt from her chair and gestured to the room around them. "Act!"

He shrugged again as he turned his attention back to the clothes before him. Nothing grabbed his attention, his gaze, or his interest. He passed by dresses, gowns, suits, shorts, heels, flats, skirts, and everything in between but even as he made his way around the room, he found nothing.

Then he spotted it from just behind the railing.

It was the first thing he had ever seen that just looked so inviting. It was a fluffy sweater. The kind one would wear curled up near a fire with a good book. The kind that seemed like when worn would feel like a never-ending hug. And it was beautiful.

The colors were a gradient. Starting from a deep violet at the end of the sleeves to a light lilac at the collar. At the center of the garment was stitched a beautiful glossy pink heart. He held it gently in his hands before slowly removing it from the rack. Even to the touch, it was soft and warm. From beside it, he found a simple top with what appeared to be clouds by the heart with two thin straps instead of sleeves. Finally, from just a few steps nearby he found a pair of dark leggings which were lined with some sort of silky fabric on the inside that caused sparks of pleasure to run from his fingers to his brain when he touched them.

Without hesitation, he shrugged off the robe before pausing. He stood naked with the garments in his hands and he sighed as he begrudgingly picked up a pair of delicate white lace panties and slipped them on. Then, he dressed himself and nearly fell to the floor.

He had never felt so warm, so soft, or so lovely before. The fabrics lay against his skin like a lover's touch or a happy memory. Was he drugged? Possessed? What was this feeling that was slowly spreading through him?

"You look comfortable!" She called up to him. "How does it feel."

"It feels good." He lied. It felt fantastic. It felt wonderful. Like he could fall asleep standing, he was so relaxed.

"Any reasoning behind the attire."

"I wanted to be relaxed." He peered down at her. "Even in strange clothes. I wanted to be myself too."

"That's very honest. I'm proud of you." She smiled. "Please come down."

"Sure." He nodded as he quickly paced towards the stairs and descended back to the floor.

"Dana, I want you to hold on to this." She extended her hand and, in her palm, lay a delicate looking gold locket on a thin gold chain. He gently took it from her and examined it in his hands.

"Why?"

"Open it." He did. Inside engraved on a mirrored surface was what appeared the be the symbols of Mars and Venus, the undeniable signs for gender fused together to make one single sign.

"I don't-"

"Keep it close to your heart. When you feel the urges to deny your true self, the idea that you created, just look at it and remember today. Remember that to shun one side of you, is to deny yourself your full potential."

"Okay." He nodded.

"You may keep these clothes and if you wish to take more, then I welcome you to this room like all my other students. If you find something you like that is not in your size, then please tell me and I will get it for you. Tomorrow, we will cover sexuality if that's alright with you."

"Sure." He shrugged. "That really wasn't as bad as I thought."

"I hope you learned something today."

"I think I did?"

"Just remember what we talked about. Become her." He nodded and slowly started back towards the door, his head heavy with the knowledge of learned absolutely nothing in the hour or two that he had been with her. He wasn't sure what she meant, what she even tried to impart in him, but he did it, nonetheless. Had it all been about presentation? Perhaps, she could have had a point buried under all her nonsense. As he reached the door and pulled it open, he paused before taking another step.

Standing just outside was a girl of about his age and height. She was pretty but he was used to them all being pretty at this point. But she was different. She wasn't radiating charm, confidence, or even self-worth. Instead, she nearly jumped back when she saw him.

"Sorry!" She apologized immediately. She had soft features and softer voice. A small button nose and the lightest shade of green Dana had ever seen for eyes. Her hair was dark and raven like his but at the ends, she had dyed it unmistakably purple. It was shorter than his however, ending just at her shoulders rather than flowing past like his.

"It's okay?" He wasn't sure what to say.

"I-I-I," The girl stammered. He couldn't help but blush slightly, she was really cute. Almost like a small animal was. "I was told to come downstairs to meet Mademoiselle."

"Oh?" Mademoiselle Leblanc finally noticed the new visitor. "Yes, please come in."

"T-T-Thank you, Mademoiselle." She tried to move but stopped before meeting his eyes. "S-Sorry. Can you move, please?"

"Oh! Yeah, sorry." Dana quickly stepped aside, and the girl nearly darted into the room.

"M-M-Mademoiselle, I'm sorry I'm late."

"I didn't even know you were coming." She laughed. "Have you met, Dana Morgan? Or new student?"

"O-Oh." The girl turned quickly. Her teeth nearly chattering as she looked at him. "Sorry!"

"It's okay?" Dana cocked an eyebrow. "My name is Dana Morgan." He couldn't help but notice that she was the only girl he'd ever seen wearing the opposite sex's uniform. It looked rather good on her. He wished he could look as good as she did in his own uniform.

"Warren!" The girl quickly spat. "Warren Cox."

"Warren? I've never met a girl named Warren." He muttered.

"I'm not a girl!" She cried and he realized his mistake immediately as she stomped her foot down. "I'm a boy!"

"Oh. Sorry." He apologized now. "It's nice to meet you, Warren."

"Y-You too." Warren nodded. "Mademoiselle, did you need s-s-something from me?" His voice was so unsure, so shaky, and so weak.

"Warren, I wanted you to meet Dana. Dana, meet Warren, another boy of Hearts."

"Another boy?" Dana cocked an eyebrow. "You mean he's not doing this as a result of the study?"

"No, Dana." She smiled. "That's just our beautiful Warren."

"Wh-What's wrong with me being a boy!" Warren interjected. But Dana couldn't answer truthfully in fear of upsetting him. Another boy of Hearts? He looked at him in almost awe.

"Nothing." Dana shook his head. "It's really good to meet you."

"Y-Y-You too." A boy?

It meant one single thing.

He wasn't alone here anymore.

CHAPTER:

Far back when he was younger, Dana had the absolute pleasure of skinning his knees on the playground outside of his elementary school. He had always been a timid, soft, and gentle child. One who kept the company of imaginary friends and delusions rather than to live in the moment. The teachers, underpaid and overworked servants of his small town, were quick to corral him with the other boys. Whereas he wanted to explore the secret world that lie behind a crack in the brick walls. He had a game that none of the others would participate in. He'd imagine fantastical scenarios in his mind and bring them with to life in drawings upon the vacant walls with colored chalk he had scavenged from the art rooms and even his home. He did not care for the games that the other children played. He just wanted to be in his own little world. A world that he remembered as welcoming and kind. It was a place that was far less hostile than the one that lay underneath his own two feet.

The boys of his small town had their own names for Dana.

Freak, faggot, sissy, gay, girly, loser, wimp, weakling, and some that were lost to time itself. Words that they had learned from their fathers, and from their grandfathers, and all those who spoke them aloud on their time on the playground.

Dana could not help his own nature. When someone shoved him down, he would simply lay on the ground. There was no use in fighting. If someone wanted to hurt him, he'd let them. If only so that he could return to his own passions sooner. After all, the boys who tormented him were only letting their baser instincts show.

The strong would always eat the weak.

This was a lesson that he would even learn in his own science classes and he could not help but agree. Because he was weak. He was a boy with long raven hair, with soft turquoise eyes, and a gentle disposition. In ancient times, he would have been given as a sacrifice to some god or tossed off a cliff and he accepted that. Or he did, until he had seen Warren Cox.

The boy that stood before him could barely be called that. If one were to place him in a lineup, it would be rare that someone would guess that he was a boy. Even standing in the black button-up vest and slacks of the male uniform. Even with his own protests. There was no way that anyone could see him as a boy.

If an artist were to sketch him by appearance alone, there was no doubt that the portrait would be that of a blushing maiden, a bride, or lady. He had all the classical hallmarks of a womanly figure. He had a slender frame, narrow shoulders, small delicate hands, and wide hips that proceeded to give him that oh-so-glamorous Hollywood hourglass frame. The fact that this boy had such beautiful cheekbones, soft plush lips that were always sealed with coy passions, and long almost comically fabulous eyelashes. He could've been a model who lay her life in front of the camera and no one would have been any the wiser.

His stature was not erect but reserved and shy. His personality shone through every breath, every motion, and every word. It felt as if a joke had been played on him by both Warren and the Mademoiselle.

But even if it was, Dana understood his childhood tormentors now. He understood why they called him names, why they pushed him down, and why they acted the way they did.

But there was no denying the fact that he was no longer the weakling that everyone saw. In this scenario, for the first time, Dana was the strong one.

It felt like years of social abuse at his fair features, delicate way of being, and even his soft voice had been torn from him in the presence of Warren. As he drank in further of Warren's beauty, Dana could not believe it. There existed a boy that was far more feminine than he had been. As he stood in front of such a boy, he was for the first time a bastion of masculinity. Warren's eyes drifted away from his whenever they met. He was unsure whether it was him being coy, shy, or even scared. But there he was...

There he was.

Mademoiselle Leblanc cried out something in a foreign language to Dana's ears and Warren turned a deep shade of red as he cast his gaze far away from either of them. As he stammered his response, she could only laugh and clasp her hands together.

"What did you say?" Dana inquired suddenly. Was she talking about him? Was she planting seeds of seduction into this boy that he had barely just met?

"I told him he was pretty." She smiled. "Boys can be pretty, Dana."

"I suppose." He grumbled.

"Ah, Dana." She laughed before turning her gaze back towards Warren. "Did you come here to get dressed too?"

"N-N-No." Warren shook his head.

"I assumed not." She smirked. "If you gentlemen excuse me, I should be off to meet with my other students."

"Sure." He watched her carefully as she walked out of the room.

"B-By-Bye, Mademoiselle!" Warren curtseyed quickly and she laughed.

"Such a good boy." She cooed. "If you boys would like to play a bit of dress-up then please do not wait for me."

"I don't think so, Mademoiselle." Dana crossed his arms. "I think I'll stick with what I have on."

"Of course. Dana, I expect you to be at my classroom first thing in the morning or I'll be back to wake you up."

"Sure." He rolled his eyes behind her back. Even if the lessons she imparted were fairly easy, they were still demeaning and demanding of his disregarding his own dignity. He hated how he was at her beck and call but it was surely better than sitting in the classroom being humiliated day-after-day. He turned his attention back towards Warren but found him seemingly gone from his position just a little bit inside of the room. He turned quickly to find any sign of the mysterious boy but found nothing as far as his eyes could see inside of the studio. Quickly, he strode out of the room to find him walking briskly away from him.

"Warren!" He called out to him. It was perhaps a bit firmer and louder than he would have liked causing the boy to leap at the sound of his name.

"D-Dana." Warren turned quickly when addressed. "D-Do you need something?"

"Would you," He swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he forced the words from his mouth. "want to hang out with me?"

"Hang out?" Warren's voice was laden with confusion.

"Like spend time with me."

"Are you asking me out?"

"No!" Dana waved his arms frantically in front of him as he tried to dismiss the horrid assumption that was just made of him. "As a friend! As a friend!"

"A friend?" Warren seemed to struggle the words as he spoke them.

"I'm not gay. I'm not into guys. But you're the first man I've seen since I came here."

"Is being gay a bad thing?" Dana's heart nearly stopped at those words. Warren's eyes still wouldn't meet his and even in his soft flowery voice, they cut him deep.

"N-No." Dana stammered quickly as he began to panic ever so slightly. "Being gay is fine. I'm just reiterating that I have nothing romantic or sexual towards you."

"Ok."

"I'm sorry, Warren. I just thought I'd cover that right now because of where we are."

"In the hall?" Warren glanced around quickly as if searching for the meaning behind his words. Dana felt a twinge of frustration echo in his mind at the boy's action.

"No." He shook his head. "At Hearts."

"Oh." Warren nodded. "Right."

"Look, I'm sorry I think we got off on the wrong foot here." He sighed as he scratched his nose. "I just want to get to know you a bit better."

"Oh!" Warren laughed slightly. "Why didn't you say so?"

"I didn't think I needed to be so blunt, Warren." He muttered with a sigh.

"I-I-It's okay!" He nodded. "I get lost in my own head."

"Me too, Warren." Dana smiled. "Me too. So, want to go somewhere else then?"

"Where?"

"There's like a media room on the floor of the dorms, right?"

"I think?"

"Let's go there then." He smiled as Warren nodded and walked back to his side. The girlish boy was not one for personal space. He stood dangerously close to Dana, almost like he was attached at the hip. It didn't matter much. Dana welcomed the company. There really was something alluring about Warren. Not in terms of his beauty but as of the way he was.

Mademoiselle Leblanc was one of many motives. Miss Woods was kind, loving, and mysterious. Madame Beaulieu was an absolute enigma, Madame Brunelle was mean as hell, and Mademoiselle Jolicoeur was nice? Not to mention, all of the girls of Hearts.

Just a messy tangled mess of deceptions and flattery.

But Warren? Warren was something pure and simple. He stuttered, stammered, and walked with such absolute uncertainty in his steps. He hid nothing. His intentions were so plain and obvious. Warren's poker face was nonexistent. As he played with his cards printed on both sides. He was just so different. He was just a perfect reprieve in the face of the constant machinations of nearly everyone around him.

Even the buildings lay their own deceptions. What he once considered to be a massive institution was finally beginning to show its true colors. It was not a large campus. Instead, it was rather small and uncomfortably intimate. The administration and teachers worked out of the same building that he slept in, bathed in, and got dressed in. The center building held the most scholarly rooms and then the furthest building held a few groups of lecture halls and classes before fading to more dormitories the higher one went. It wasn't like him to obsess over architecture but there was something about the academy that rubbed him the wrong way.

The media room lay on the ground floor of the dormitories. A nice wide-open space full of desktop computers neatly laid out on the long desks, a large television set seated on a media cabinet stuffed full of electronic devices. He hit the light switch and the entire room buzzed to life in a minute. Warren quickly entered before taking a seat on the couch in front of the television.

"You good?"

"Dana?"

"Yes?" He smiled as he turned to look at his companion.

"Are you ok?"

"Ok?" He asked making his way to take his seat next to him. Warren's eyes shone with concern, genuine concern, before they drifted away as he met them.

"N-Nevermind." He stammered.

"So uh," Dana shifted in his seat. "You don't talk much do you?"

"N-Not really. Is that an issue?"

"Not really." He shook his head. He fiddled with his fingers as he cleared his throat loudly.

"I,"

"I," Both him and Warren spoke aloud.

"You go ahead." Dana nodded.

"N-N-No." The boy shook his head quickly as if the very idea offended him to his core. "It's fine. You go."