All Comments on 'Heart's Fall'

I liked this story. It was a bit heavy on the exposition, but most of it was necessary. Good job.

.....that you DO have a way of writing good stories - that keep dragging me in - again & again !!

Thank you for another good one - got any more ? :-))

I absolutely adore your writing. You have a depth of understanding of the human condition that is truly humbling to witness. I eagerly anticipate your next venture.

You should be proud of what you have achieved.

Beautifully written. Thank you

Just have to comment, its a compulsion in me. Proof read your own work. Nothing major but you have him referring to Shanon, Sharon, Kelly and Kerry. It gets tedious.

You said K as just a name without saying who she was. At least she wouldnt do something to him. Took forever and several namechanges to finally fill in what she was.

He might suffer depression, but he gets involved with girls with schizophrenia.

I had to stay up an hour past my normal bedtime to finish this 11 page epic. But, Bravo! It is one of the best pieces I have read on Lit in a long time. My recommendation is to take the one your protagonist received from his wife. Go get published professionally.

5*s

A superb story gripping my attention through the whole 11 pages.

Situation so engrossing that I have not slept yet

WW

Truly enjoyed the story and couldn’t put it down. Some of the shifts in the timeline threw me from time to time, but enjoyed none the less.

Holy crap, this was amazing. The highs and lows you took me through paid off at the end. Lovely, and realistic.

But please fix the names...I felt like I had whiplash a couple of times. :-)

Thank you for sharing this.

In two days I"ve read the whole story twice. I got choked up even more the second time thru. There's so much love in this story of two people never giving up

I would have gone higher were I able to do so.

This was a great story to read. It is well written and flows nicely. It wasn't easy to put down when I had to attend to other things but it WAS easy to pick up again. The Incest/Taboo aspect of the story was more of a side story but it added to the complexity of the romance between the main characters. You handled it very well.

I have marked it as a favourite and look forward to re-reading it down the track.

Well done, LateStageInfernalism. Keep up the good work. I am looking forward to reading more of your literary efforts.

Wonderful. I couldn’t put it down till the end.

This story was a "5" in all of the ways a story could be -- plot, characters, humor, etc. I hate being sentimental and maudlin, but this story was also really touching.

Is it Kelly or Kerry? The confusion hindered the story. Please fix it.

You could almost feel like you were there

But more confused at the end than allmthe names at the start.

HOW OLD WERE THE GUY AND GIRL?

His mum near 80 so I figured he was about 50. But her mum was about 50 and girl was older than boy!

Ignoring all the confusing flashbacks (you need to highlight these somehow), he acted varying between 20 and 60. You stated it had been decades since she stopped talking to him or some such. But then he knows about little girls cartoons, Assuming the Sailor references were girlie characters. Really weird.

Apart from the inconsistent characterisations and descriptions your writing is really good and kept me here till the end.

It takes me a lot to read all the way through this length of story, because authors tend to dissolve the story and characters and, instead, amp up the sexual proclivities in an effort to build upon what went before. This was one of those rare treats that allowed the character development to build the tension, which added to the sexual nuance and enjoyment.

While I thought the denouement seemed out of place and forced, I thoroughly enjoyed the story and gave it one of the few 5 stars I've given on the site. Nice job.

11 page reading

and what i get is half sister

and all who say they love him are just cheaters and they lie

all think that he has no brain which can understand what his father did so they lie

I don't like these tricks which make him believe that "he" is always the "one" that is wrong

Very well written. First one of yours I've read. Guess now I'll have to read the rest of them.

If you want a story that pulls you along the way, making you want more and more. This is the one! Fabulous in the way it is put together mixing the love story with the sexual nature that every couple longs for. By far the best!

All tell and no show, plus sub par sex scenes. LateStage's words fail to pull you in and make you feel like you're there.

Management.

While I get that the protagonists being half siblings means the story involves incest, it's not really an incest story. It's eleven pages long, and they have sex like 4 times. The story is about their love, and how two people found each other and overcame obstacles (like incest) to be together. It's a love story, not a sex story. I would have given this 5* in Romance, as is I won't rate.

Fantastic storytelling. Ignore the comments about lack of sex scenes. This is a love story first and foremost but it is absolutely in the right category. Well done, as always!

Good story, kept my attention, made me feel gooey inside and hard as a rock outside. Great telling, loved the characters and their flaws.

Good job, keep it up.

I have been reading Literotica incest stories for several years now. This is as good, or better than most. You had a way to make me feel a part of the story. You had times that made me feel anxious that the plot would not turn out the way I envisioned.Endings are hard, but yours was believable. It was a nice readable length, and needs no sequel.

What else is there to say? Very well done, absolutely loved reading it.

Wow this story was so emotionally moving. I actually cried. Twice. I have never cried from any kind of media before. I didn’t even cry when my dog died. I actually could feel his emotions and fell in love with Kerry while reading this. What an amazing story. Now I go back to my lonely single life... lol

Well done . Erotica isn't always about just sex.

They decided not to have their own children? Absolute nonsense, unless they had a known genetic defect the kids would be normal. There is very little extra risk of defects with incest babies than the general population. They cheated themselves...

The characters had depth and there were reasons for how they felt and why they did -- or didn't -- do things. There have only been a handful of stories that have moved my as much as this one. Indeed, in all of my reading -- both erotic and mainstream -- there has only been one other character I have fallen in love with -- Kerry is a force of nature in this story, both fierce and gentle. I must say, I was very sad to read the last paragraph. Well done. I look forward t reading more of your stories.

What a lovely story! Had me in tears a few times.

I do, however, have a couple of notes:

1) The Razr phone is a Motorola, not a Nokia. It was first released into the market in the summer of 2004.

2) I really wish you would have included the part of their story where they broke up. I don't feel like I fully understand that part, or who initiated the breakup, or why.

Thank you for your work!

in every way. What a way to draw us in with the heartbreak of James' life and how Kerry and him both separated initially. Reuniting them through mutual heartbreak proved so interesting and then it all hit the fan when he found out why his "father" was so distant from him. I would have never believed you could have entwined details like that to construct such an intricately complex tale. You combined it all masterfully and you used the back/forth flashbacks expertly to fill in gaps. Every time they joined each other and then later faced such shock (more on James' side), it made it feel so healing to get them together for good. Incredibly sweet, tender, heartbreaking and touching. Very well written! 5

I really enjoyed the story. Parts were a little difficult to follow (the dialogue) but that’s a minor nit.

I’d love to see another version where:

- James, not being on his meds and not being able to take a nap, leaves his Mom’s house not being able to deal with the lies. This could involve Shanon. Kerry has to save him from himself and the darkness that overtakes his mind.

- They have kids of their own.

- James does go over the bridge but Kerry pulls him from the water. A few chapters dealing with a hospital stay and depression.

Again, great job. 5 stars.

He said it was mutual, she said he left her (which would explain why she decided to marry some other guy when she was always in love with him). Which is it? I really want to know that part of the story, lol.

And so I return to this 11-page titan. You'd think that, knowing the big secret, I'd just flip through the pages. But the writing in this story is so enthralling, and the characters so fully fleshed out, that I just get wrapped up in the story again. I truly adore your writing.

The continuity of this story is terrible. Going back and forth in time is okay if you keep the story line within reason. See previous posters to understand. This story: 6 to 7 pages at most.

Except for figuring out the Macguffin early, I found the story to be a good read, even believable. But I do have to say that two women sharing a man and being friendly to each other to be extremely rare, especially when one is a legally wedded wife. Despite this, I'd rather read a nice story than to have the good polluted with vile behavior.

Good work.

It's so incredible the way you have with words. I could detect more than a hint of yourself in the protagonist, especially from the fact that he's also a budding writer.

I understand the accommodations you had to make with mundane reality to make this story work, and it's truly enjoyable in its own way. However, A Matter of Blood and similar works in a fantasy vein will always be my favourites by you. It is truly amazing that you could spin a yarn so well when it's rooted in real life, though.

Best of this author that I’ve read.

When I read about someone that states you need an editor because of all the back and forth movement in the plot line, I nearly collapsed, laughing. This wonderful story is a slice of life, messy, conflicted and truly filled with Love. I am a sucker for romance and this has just the right shadings to paint a picture. Now once we got to the point where we figured out about the shared Dad, it was cool because the son did not know. Great read, and to have shortened it down to a stroker would have been a crime. Cheers!!!

Wow,.i really think this is the best love story i have read... Ever..

Thank you ;)

Wonderful story! Writer is among the best I have read in any genre. Thank you!!

Yup. That's right. I haven't found anything better or more engaging on this site. This is my first story of yours and I'm looking forward to others.

I see in the tags that one of them was "melancholy" and that was right... the story was really depressing.

They loved each other from the start, but instead of being each others firsts, they both screwed around with people they didn't care about. Then after finally starting a relationship and realise how amazing they are together, they break up for no real reason and spend 12+ years apart. James had to watch Kerry marry someone else, and she had to watch him fall in love with Amanda.

The father treated James like shit for no good reason, all the women in James' life lie to him, and Amanda even turns into a slut and fucks his friend. It's no wonder James suffered with depression!

I was also disappointed by the ending. All that pain could have been worth it if they'd had a proper happy ending... but then they decide not to have children together. This is the incest category and the characters themselves got off on being related. It was just anticlimactic that he never got her pregnant and ruined the ending.

It's a myth that incest babies are abnormal. Too bad neither of them was smart enough to do a bit of research. That hurt the story a little.

@anonymous 08/20/19

It's not so much a myth as an overstatement. Children born of incest don't have 2 heads or any such nonsense, but there are myriad genetic conditions that would be significantly more likely. And it would be a really awkward conversation to have with a doctor to get tests done for those, as it would become apparent in the DNA screening that the parents were closely related.

Character dev is exceptional, story flows, is believable - both in plot and in emotional content. 'Read 3 of your others, but this is a runaway winner. 'Very nicely done

By far the best story I have ever read on here. One of those ”can’t put it down” stories. I can’t express how much I love this. Even teared up a few time. Bravo

By far the best story I have ever read on here. I actually had tears in my eyes on more than one occasion.

Fucking hell, this was amazing. I have my kinks and wanted to get to a good story to rub one out. But this was just too good for me to do just that. And moreover, this story have me hope when my own voice was getting bad and leading me to a near spiral. I can't praise the story or thank you enough. Absolutely loved the story!!!

PS - I don't have an account and that's the only reason I'm going anonymous.

Title says it all.....

I know you can write but damn, this was exquisite. Both a great love story and a erotic story. Great writing. 5 stars.

Readers can expect to stumble on well - written stories here. A masterwork of bot eroticism and emotion like this far less common - ironically, as I will note later. This would be a contender in any writing competition on Earth for a top prize. Hope to see more! The irony I noted? Despite the perfectly fine and thoughtful decision made by the characters, the scientific evidence suggests half siblings are no more likely to have "genetically impoverished" off spring than any couple chosen randomly from a population ( 1 in 32 000 versus 1 in 68 000 respectively) - the idea of "two- headed inbreds" belonging with the story of the ostrich with its head in the sand As a biologist I just thought I'd raise that.

As close to perfect, as any author can hope to come. Well done.

Over the years I have read many many stories, some good and some bad ( sometimes horrendous) and then you read a story - this one and you soon realise this is not the usual standard, this story is well planned, has substance, direction, emotion, good grammar and a working spell checker. This story has been an absolute pleasure to read. Thank you.

Another great sibling incest story. I love the long stories. I love the brother/sister incest stories that are romantic as well as erotic. This one had all the romance but less of the eroticism but still a great story.

Yes, there were a few typos, wrong names and missing words in sentences but as these stories are given to us for free for our enjoyment I am loathe to criticise unless it's really atrocious and spoils the story.

There are only two points that I feel were missing from the story, one was the speed at which Kelly and James ended up fucking almost immediately after their reunion. Thought that happened too quickly given that they hadn't really communicated with each other over the past couple of years. To suddenly end up having sex wasn't too believable. The other was the missing explanation of why they ended their relationship. That definitely needed explaining when they had been so close since childhood and were obviously so in love with each other. Why did they go their separate ways and get into relationships with other people.

Other than that another 5 star story.

An amazing read from start to stop! Thank you for sharing it!

this is the most complete story I've read so far. I've read a couple of good ones and pretty great ones.

but almost always they left me with a cliffhanger, a side story started but not ended, some confusion about a character or story line, character behaviour or development.

not that actively searching for mistakes or such.

with this story. nothing.

just very well written, perfect character building.

How you build up the story was quite interesting by going back in time and then to present. It felt confusing at times if it was now present or past. how you wrote around that style was very nice.

Also not an abrupt ending after their first Halloween back together (that's how most people end the Stories, WHY???)

I'd loved it though if they had kids on their own, but that was perfect aswell.

loved it

Great read from start to finish! Definitely more on the romantic side but also definitely worth the read. 5 stars from me!

I haven't read but a couple of complete stories that were worth commenting about, and this is one of them. A truly marvelous read. Keep up the good work.

So well written that I imagined myself in that world !

Simply amazing.

The story was given up within the first couple of pages. This was a cheating story with a small amount of sex between a half bother and sister. The author dragged this story out way too long, it was clear very early in the story what had happened and what was going to happen. There was no surprise, no building of interest, just a long winded anticlimactic story. I felt like I wasted my time reading this story.

I loved this story so much. In a lot of ways, I related with him. Minus reviving the love with his soul mate or them being related. His feelings about being betrayed, his feelings about the hopelessness of finding love and trust again.. I often dream of finding what he had. And, even though it's just a story, it gives me hope that the search for a soulmate isn't just a fantasy. Even after all the disastrous relationships.. Thank you for this. :)

Loved it.......

At first i was planning to skip this story . But i have already seen your some work. So i thought to give it a go and i loved this one . Story telling, plots, writing style every thing .

What a remarkable story, I reall enjoyed it, though I confess I worked out the secrets by Chapter 4. Nevertheless, knowing did not detract from the story,. The strength of your writing brought a tear to my eyes more than once.

Keep up the good work.

Not your best. Slightly disappointed that they didn’t have their own children though and I too thought it dragged on just a little to long. But saying that, I still gave you ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wonderful well written story! Thank You !!

It could be biographical or a memoir it has the ring of truth about it. I thoroughly enjoyed it and was moved to tears more than once a wonderful story thank you for sharing it.

Love is never easy and this story reflects that. If your are someone like myself, a person that lives in the story, my tears would not surprise you. Love is not just a word. That is a hint for those of you that have read another love story or watched the movie, preferably both. Enjoy this story and appreciate a talented author.

A remarkable story! Five stars and another story added to my favorites and yes I shed a tear or two.

i stopped at page 8. do people not know how betrayal works? you go back to your moms, you pack your shit and your out the door. your mom starts to tell you this story, you call her a lying cunt for being complicit, you may or may not punch her in the face and you move to entirely different zip code with a new cell number and new job. Betrayal on any level is not acceptable FROM ANYONE. if you been lied to for 30 yrs, how the fuck are you supposed to just forget all that? are you fucking kidding me? are the men in all these stories that weak minded? like where did there balls go? you notice its always the men who kept in the dark about these "secrets" its never the women? weird huh?

I loved the story like I do all your stories I've read so far but. I get it's a love story but damn I gotta kind of agree with the last person's comments. She lied to him for decades she married someone else and out of her own guilt blew him off. I could see him forgiving the lies but not the wasted years or the pain of having to watch her marry someone else and then be treated like trash. Then the mothers. OK they made peace with the situation but to let the kids separate knowing if they had just talked to Kerry and told her it was OK and they would support the relationship or even just pushed with a little encouragement. I'd be just as pissed at them probably more so. But he just sits there and within minutes forgives all. No. I could even see ok over a little time and her pursuing him convincing him that she just didn't want to hurt him, but not like that.

I get its a story but nobody even the best of people would just let that go within minutes or even weeks. I'd resent probably for the rest of my life the time wasted just because nobody told me the truth and let me make my own decision about whether to go forward with the relationship.

Damn i could go on and on about this, I love your stories but like the last guy said your male leads are so often just unrealistically saints. But lol I'll keep reading your stories because they are amazing just wish some of them would be a little more realistic when it comes to how they would deal with having their heart broken.

I

I hate it , 1*

Huh... forgiveness for the father...? I think not...

It's tough to understand with some info about the time frames...

There's a point where he mentions how his 'sister' is in her 30s... but his father's "little black book" stops getting some apparent use in '91, the year before *he* was born... If we assume it's 2020, that would have made him no more than 28 to her probable early 30s...

Anyway, her mom was likely early 20s at most when he started doing her... when *his* mom was in her late 30s...

And she forgave him...? Even let him continue his relationship...? Yeah, I just don't see that...

And his father couldn't care less (apparently) about his son but effectively dotes as well as he can without giving it away on his daughter...? "Well, fuck you, Dad. You being proud of me means exactly shit."

And a small town where the two families live only minutes away by foot and no one notices him picking her up for dates...? *That* doesn't become gossip...? As if...

Ok, so...tears. Yeah, some decent points were made about the timing of his forgiveness for her keeping the secret for so long, but for the sake of the story, and facing at least another chapter of time going by with all of them miserable would probably have sucked for the reader to wade through. I've had unrequited love, had secrets from loved ones, regretful breakups, and hurts that are beyond repair. This man has loved this woman from childhood, of course he'd forgive her. It was quick here, probably because, looking at it from an author's point of view, and the nature of litrotica as a depository of literature of this nature (of which I am a fan), it was expedient. A literary device. Necessary. 5 stars. I've loved every HEA you've written.

Well-written with fabulous characterization and skilled use of first-person narrative. The characters are beautifully human. One of my two favorites stories here.

It's been about two years since I read this story. Still keep coming back to read it. It's just perfect.

Perfect

Just as good reading the second time.

A true love story. Loved every page. Some strange negative comments from other readers but suggest you bypass them. You can please some of the people all of the time........etc. Definitely a favourite of mine. 5 stars.

Whoa. Plot, character development and motivation, pacing, timeline integration... all brilliant. Wonderful writing.

This is a wonderful story. I loved the characters and the entire story. Definitely one of the better stories on here.

God!!! That was a damn good story, I bloody loved it! Would have given more stars if I could, thanks x

Ddraigfach

At first I worried that the story would be predictable…being an incest story inevitably gave something away! Truth is I loved it. As all of your stories beautifully written and I thought the challenge of love needing trust when there are big secrets was really well handled.

Thank you

(12/26/2021) Well, another wonderful read. I guess I wasn’t ruined. Nicely done. But they should have had at least one biological kid too. The so-called pill is not 100%. There may be an oops at some point. Five stars.

Fick that was a good story. Good twists and yet enough clues to lead you on.

I usually read all the comments before writing my own. I thought it was great, obviously some difference of opinion by a minority that I just don’t get. For instance I thought our hero was being a bit neurotic about being lied to. Not ideal of course but it happens, people are people. Bit of an overreaction to it, perhaps needed as a plot device. But some of y’all live in a different reality where he didn’t react strongly enough. Punching your mom as a reasonable reaction? Oh come on! LOL my god. Basically well done, partner. And thanks for not having our hero punch his mom. :)

I rarely, if ever, leave comments. However, I had to write and say that you may be my favorite author on here. Definitely in the top five. You do that by writing about people and situations. Not just sex. Nothing wrong with the 'just sex' stories, but they're not the ones I remember. Keep up the good work.

Its indeed a great story with a lot of plot twist I loved it. I was also wondering could we get an alternative ending were he does go to another city instead of committing to a relationship just to see how that time line would work out I feel both ending if written by you would be great and I'm kinda curious about the what if side.

god this story is SO FUCKING CUTE. FUCK

another unrealistic male character.. just like that ? he forgives all that bs just like that ??

nooo.. she didnt want to hurt him but at the end she hurt him even more..

[31.07.22]

Beautiful story, Beautifully written!

Well developed characters, excellent dialogue and flow.

11/10!!!!!

The mere mention of resident evil 4 has earned you a 5 star! Incredible game that i still play every few months to this day. Professional mode all day cuz im a bad ass like that 😂😂😂

Too must unnecessary history!!

Kerry was also a stupid selfish bitch!!

BOTH KERRY AND HER MOTHER ARE CHEATING SKANKS!! THE LIES AND DECEPTION YET THE PUSSY-WHIPPED CUCK MAKES A LIFE WITH THE SKABK KERRY!! THE CUCK HAS NO RESPECT GOR HIMSELF OR HIS MOTHER!!

JUDITH AND KERRY ARE TRAILER PARK TRASH