All Comments on 'Helping a Co-worker'

Interesting premise.

But sex begins too abruptly. And continues too quickly.

Needs many more details. Needs lots more dialog, especially about how what's happening feels. And whether he/she should continue. And what he'd/she'd like more of.

And the dialog is really strange.

Three stars.

I'm not sure anyone actually talks like that. No character build up, no sense of what the other is experiencing. Not much more than a wham, bam, thank you ma'am attempt. Better luck next time. I gave it a 2 for trying.

I liked the sexual descriptions. Yes it could have used a little more dialog and set up. I thought it was an excellent first go at it.

Ditto to what anon said 6 hrs ago. Scarcely a plot line at all, just the passion stuff. Paragraphs WAY too long. BUT it is always good to welcome a new writer... DO keep 'em coming.

OK..what is a "feint tanga"? I know a Tanga is a thong, but a feint?

You've plenty of time to improve by reading the other comments. Someday you may earn a star or two.

For a first submission, this story is very good, well-written, and wonderfully romantic. However, there should have been a more extensive introduction to the characters, and a slower build-up to the climactic love scene. The love scene itself it well-written, if rather too short, and it begins a little too abruptly. The ending is also rather abrupt, and could have been longer. That said, this is an excellent story that certainly deserves a sequel, which, if it does get written, is hopefully longer and even better than this one.