All Comments on 'Helping the Neighbor'

Thanks for a good read, so she needs a new

switch for a light? turn the juice off at the fuse

box first, after you get the new switch in,check

her box.

And in the next chapter I'm sure she needs her pipes cleaned and a lot of work making sure her back door opens wide

At the beginning, you TELL too much. "She was this. He did that."

It's boring. Best if we get the subject's thoughts.

That pulls the reader into the story.

The verb tense also needs changing.

Now keep the story going. I would enjoy reading more of this lads adventures with the sexy next door lady.

Anonymous is right that talking about what the characters are feeling draws readers in. S/he is wrong, however, that the first part of the story was boring. Quite the opposite. The son lusting after his mother and masturbating while the hot neighbor watches sets the right tone for the story.

You dropped two gems that you don't explore that could provide new directions for the story. The first, obviously, is the sexual tension with your mother. You already have her looking sexy in the garden, so the seeds are sown for you to have a sexual liaison. There's good reason that she might wonder why you're spending so much time with Beth, which provides an opening for her to find out what's going on, and become jealous, start teasing you with sexier clothes, who knows?

Secondly, you mention your sister in connection with your open door. Her curiosity may get the better of her as she sees you lusting after your mother. Another productive story line.

Thanks for your story.

Oldmoose