All Comments on 'Her Brother Turns 18 Ch. 02'

'Nuff said!

I think I mentioned before that you seriously need to get a proofreader.

I'd guess English isn't your first language. Your story could have been a three, maybe, if it had been edited.

Ah don't listen to them, some people just ain't happy unless they're unhappy. I you should try and read your stories carefully, word by word, to catch many of the easy errors. they do disrupt the flow of the story like the previous commenter mentioned. Not just the typical inconsistencies, or mis-spellings but look at you sentence structure as well. If it feels a little awkward, try another way of saying the same words or different words saying the same thing. Pick the smoothest sentence. But try and check it it closely prior to submitting it. This is one area that the extremely short chapters may work to your benefit.

Otherwise, still a good dose of of erotic angst. I look forward to reading Ch. 3.. Which I will do now.