All Comments on 'Her Dream House'

Nicely written, erotic and with a good story line. Thanks

That's a great collection of fantasies and a really nice format for showcasing them. I'm especially impressed with the way you managed to blend first-person perspectives so seamlessly while still keeping each voice distinct. There must have been a temptation to make his fantasies as eloquent as hers. It was a good choice to keep his simple.

Nice work. She's very matter of fact, gets what she wants, no fuss. The idea of the dream house is a handy one - the rooms can be as big or as small as you want, with whomever you desire nside. A writer could get lost in there, but that's okay. There's a kitchen with a well stocked pantry :).

I wandered over after reading your post on the Feedback Forum. I think you pulled off a nice experiment in a more streamlined style. The prose itself read well and very easy to follow. As EB mentioned, the "Dream House" was a nice platform to launch these somewhat random "fantasies" off of. There was some mention on the Feedback discussion about a lack of believable motivation for the female protagonist to enter such an intimate conversation and the ensuing intimacy. While I too see that, I do think it could have been at least somewhat resolved by emphasizing during the first part of the conversation once they sat down in the dark, two things; She asks a couple of times that this really is the janitor's last night working there — and, just a touch more emphasis on the fact it is dark and hard to see each other. These two things, if made more important, would give her the cover to let herself go where she wouldn't normally go. (that's not a nit-pic, just a thought on another comment.) I, for one, am glad to see such experiments and I applaud your effort.