All Comments on 'Her Heart, His Prey'

A little confusing in the beginning, but not for long and I understand the reason. I personally like longer chapters. Not to many edits needed easily over looked.

enjoyed that. keep on going!!

The intro was very interesting; the prologue a little confusing, however, but once it was put in context further on in the chapter I found it to be quite good. The story-line is strong, the pace lively and quick, and the potential very exciting. Keep up the good work!

but because it jumped around so much, it was hard to follow. There were also a lot of spelling and grammar errors. It has potential though, so I'll look out for the next chapter.

Thanks for writing.

Hmm pretty cool start. I will be coming back for more

Please ccontinue with this stori. You have a great intro ans i just cant wait for more.

For a first attempt, you've certainly got some talent and despite the lack of an editor there were a surprising few typos or spelling and grammar mistakes, which says an awful lot. I would strongly suggest that you not write in italics though unless you're trying to differentiate that text from your regular text. It makes it difficult and uncomfortable for some people to read.

I'm assuming you don't want us to know what your main character is yet, but I hope you're not planning to keep us in the dark too long. It'll also help to know why her were ex-boyfriend would agree to marry someone he knew wasn't his mate. That seems a bit odd to me.

All in all, you're off to a good start and I'm intrigued about where you're planning to go. Now lets see if you've got something so many first time authors seem to lack....follow through!!!!

i hope there is more its a really good start

A great start, more please. An editor would help if you can get one - if not, DON'T rely on spell check as so many seem to do.! It's just embarrassing sometimes :-/ I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes. 5 stars.

Thank you all for your support and constructive criticism! First off, I apologize for this portion being in italics, I honestly have no clue how that happened and I will definitely try to fix it for the next part. More to come soon!

For a first story,,very good,few mistakes,and i like the plot.The chapters could be a bit longer,at least 3 pages would be nice.Look forward to another chapter soon,,,

I really hope he's a vampire they just seem to turn me on more then werewolves you know?

Just submitted the next part! If this portion is in italics as well, then I have no idea how to fix it, but I'll keep trying. Stay beautiful everyone

(Sorry for the shouting, I got excited!). I so appreciate you letting the readers know the story isn't finished. Now I can wait with expectation so that I can read it all at one time. I truly don't mind staying awake all night reading, if I can finish the story! Just finished two sets of chapters for other writers only to find that the stories aren't finished. Talk about howling out of frustration! One idea is for writers to put finished in the story title. Just my two cents. But from the comments, I can't wait!

I just wanted to add my words of encouragement to the board. This is a fun start to what appears to be a well thought out series. Keep up the good work :)

The first few sentences drew me in quickly and the two girls were given character and personality so fast that I immediately liked both of them. I'm hoping her savior is a werewolf and is much better looking than her ex. Great first story! Keep writing!

Good start! I can't wait to see where you go!!