Here We Go Again!

"That must create quite a hassle for you. How long has it been broken," I asked?

"It's been down for about three weeks now. We have been meaning to get it fixed, but Jenny's job at the restaurant is only part time and money has been a little tight lately," she confessed a bit red faced.

"I could always stop over and take a look at it," I volunteered, not really sure why I was doing it.

"That's sweat of you to offer, but I like I said I can't really afford a repair man right now," She reminded me.

"Now come on Karen, when have I ever charged you for anything except parts when I worked on something of yours," I asked?

"It was one thing to have you helping us out when you and Jenny were dating. Now it would feel like we were taking advantage of you," She argued.

"That's just plain silly. You have always been like a second mother to me. Just because I am no longer dating your daughter, doesn't mean I don't still care about you," I protested.

"I still feel like we'd be using you," She exclaimed.

"Is that really the reason, or are you still mad about what happened between me and Jenny," I asked looking her straight in the eye?

"Oh heavens no, I admit I was upset with you at first, but when Jenny explained what really happened, then it was her I was mad at. I must confess that I did express to her many times my concerns about the two of you being so exclusive from such an early age, but I never thought that she would go out and sleep with another guy while you were still dating," She explained to me.

"Well that's basically water under the bridge now. When would be the best time for me to work on your dryer, with the least amount of people underfoot," I asked?

"Are you asking when you could drop by that Jenny won't be there," She questioned.

"Yes. I'm sorry Karen. I want to help you out, but I am just not ready to face Jenifer yet," I replied honestly.

"She would really love to see you," Karen told me.

"There is a part of me that is dying to see her again too, but it's the other side of me that I'm concerned about, I said.

"Jenny leaves for work at 2:00 P.M. this afternoon. You could drop by any time after that, but I must warn you I will be babysitting. Is having William there going to be a problem for you," She asked?

"Not as long as you keep him away from me while I'm working so he doesn't get hurt," I told her.

Pulling up to Jenny's mother's house was like going back in time. I started to get flashbacks of happier moments the two of us shared. When I arrived in California I was lost without Jenny. It took a lot of prodding from Kelly and Linda before I finally broke down and told them my story. For some reason, I found it very easy to confide in them. I guess it was the fact that I felt safe. They were both hopeless flirts, but I knew that would be as far as it went. Maybe because they were lesbians, I didn't feel I had to act all macho, like I did with the guys, or worry about sending out the wrong signals, like I do when I am with heterosexual women. I could just be myself among them, without feeling like I was being judged for doing it. I think that made all the difference.

After ringing the bell, I waited at the door with my toolbox in hand for someone to answer. Karen appeared moments later with a little blond 5 year old boy in toe that reminded me so much of his mother I actually got misty eyed for a moment. During our introduction I stooped down on my knee so that I was height level with William before offering my hand for him to shake. This seemed to put the little tyke at ease, as he bombarded me with a million questions about who I was and I why I was there.

It took me no time to diagnose the problem and I called a local parts store I knew to see if they had what I needed on hand. As luck would have it they did, so I set out to do a quick parts run, returning a short time later with the items I needed to get their dryer back up and running properly again. By the time I got back Karen had already started preparing supper. She asked me if I would like to join them, but being still full from overindulging at lunch I begged off. She understood, saying that they were only having hot dogs and mac & cheese anyway. She told me that if she knew in advance that I might be stopping by; she would have planned a much better meal. She did say that Will had requested this particular menu.

I had just finished replacing the defective part and was starting to put the dryer back together when I heard some type of commotion coming from the kitchen; a few seconds later, Karen was screaming for help. I dropped what I was doing and raced to the kitchen only to find a little boy desperately gasping for breath and not being able to find any.

"Matt he's choking! I tried slapping him on the back, but it didn't help," She exclaimed in a panic!

I quickly grabbed Will from behind and placed my hands over his abdomen like they showed us in the health class I had taken. Telling him to relax I pressed my hands together and jerked his body upward in an effort to dislodge the food stuck in his throat. I had to repeat the procedure three times, squeezing his body harder and harder before he spit up the half eaten hot dog and began to cry. Now that I knew he was breathing again I started to worry that I had accidentally hurt him by pressing too hard. I insisted on taking him to the hospital to be checked out, even offering to pay for it myself since I felt responsible.

"Matt, Will's healthcare is covered by the state, but I think you're right, we need to get him checked out, to make sure nothing is broken or that his esophagus didn't get damaged while he was choking," She replied.

The thought of something being broken had me physically ill. I would never intentionally hurt William, and I just hoped Jenny would believe that. Karen wanted me to drive as she was still too shaken up over what had happened. We took her car, as it already had Will's child seat in it. Although I did make it to the hospital safely I wouldn't say that I complied with the posted speed limits while doing it. I immediately rushed in to the ER acting like a crazed fool bellowing for assistance. Because William was a child he was given preferred treatment over some of the other patients. We tried to assure him that everything was going to be ok, but of course being young and scared the little guy wanted his mommy. Karen had talked to Jenny on the phone and told me that she was going to have one of her friends drop her off at the hospital. She still couldn't afford a car of her own.

I was a nervous wreck with the thought of seeing Jenny again, but I wasn't about to leave the hospital without knowing if Will was going to be alright, so I just sucked it up and hoped for the best. Karen and I were in the examination room with Will when Jenny arrived.

"Mommy; Will said happy to see her!

"Hi honey, how are you feeling," She asked while hugging him gently enough to ensure that he wasn't hurt in the process.

"My chest hurts a little, and my throat is sore too," He complained.

Just then the doctor came into the room with a set of x-rays in his hand.

"Well folks I have some good news. It seems little William here is free to go," He told us.

"So is he going to be alright doc," Both Jenny and I asked in unison?

"Yes," he replied chuckling at our uniformity. His ribs will be a bit sore for a few days, and his throat is a little swollen, but that's to be expected. It was a lucky thing you were there son, because the ex-rays showed that the blockage was pretty far down in his throat and someone not quite as strong may not have been able to pry it loose. Tell me, who taught you the Heimlich maneuver," The doctor asked?

"I learned it in my health class at UCLA," I replied.

"Well I don't know what you do for a living, but you would make one fine paramedic. I don't think I could have done a better job myself," The doctor apprised me.

"Without warning, Jenny turned and threw her arms around me burying her head in my chest. Through her sobs, I could barely make out the words "Thank you for saving my son," She wept.

My body must have been operating on autopilot as I seemed to have no control over my arms as they reached for her, my head lowering to place a soothing kiss upon her hair in a gesture of reassurance that everything was going to be OK.

After all the paperwork was filed, the three of us were heading back to their house when I suddenly got an idea. I asked if they would mind if I stopped off at the convenient store on the way back to pick up something I needed. Of course, neither one of them had a problem with this, so I dashed into the shop and came back a few minutes later with all the ingredients I would need to create a special treat.

"What did you buy Uncle Matt," Will asked?

"Will honey, it's not nice to ask people what they bought," Jen said.

"No that's alright Will, I just had to go pick up your medicine," I told him with as serious look.

"Medicine, He replied with a scrunched up face.

"That's right, the doctor said that since your throat was a bit swollen you should put something soft and cold on it, so I bought all the makings for my world famous milkshakes. You did say that chocolate was your favorite flavor right," I asked smiling?

"Oh boy thank you Uncle Matt," He replied happily.

"You're welcome kiddo," I said. "How about the rest of you, chocolate shakes all around," I asked?

After receiving favorable replies from Jenny and her mother, I went about making a pitcher of frothy ice cold milk shakes that were very smooth on the throat. After the mess was cleaned up I excused myself to finish working on their dryer. I wasn't overly happy, but not exactly surprised when Jenny appeared at the door.

"Do you mind some company," She asked?

"Actually I'm just finishing up here," I replied.

"Do you have to rush off right away, or could you stay and talk for a while," Jenny wanted to know?

"Well I really should be going," I said.

"I understand. When I heard you were back in town, I wanted to stop over to see you, but didn't think I would be welcome. The fact that you came over to fix my mom's dryer when you knew I wouldn't be home tells me I was right," She said with a shaky voice.

"What do you expect me to say Jenifer? Part of me feels I should wrap my arms around you and hold you forever. Another part says I need to get in my car and drive all the way back to California, just to get away from you. The rational side of my head tells me I can't do either, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to," I tried to explain.

"I know what you mean about mixed feelings. I've waited six years for a chance to talk with you again, and now that you're here I don't know what to say. The words sorry and that I missed you seem so inadequate, yet they are the only ones that come to mind," Jenny admitted.

"Maybe it's best if we didn't say anything," I suggested.

"We tried that for six years. Do you feel any better," She asked?

"I thought maybe I did, a little anyway, then I saw you standing in the doorway, and all those damn memories came floating back," I said.

"Not all of them were bad though, we did have some good times, right," She asked me tears streaming down her face?

"Most of them were good and they are the ones that haunt me the most," I told her.

"I know we can never go back to the way things were, but do you think there is any way we could at least be friends again? I've missed you so much Mathew," She pleaded.

"I'm not sure that would be a good idea Jenifer. Don't you think it would be better to try and forget about each other and work towards moving on with our lives," I asked?

"We have been friends since we were eight Mathew. How do you expect us to forget over ten years' worth of memories," She asked?

"I don't know Jenny. I don't have any answers, only questions. I've missed you too. I want to be friends again just as much as you do, but is that really fair for either one of us? We both know we want more from each other than just mere friendship. Right now that can't happen and I am not sure that it ever will," I said.

"Can't we at least try Mathew? We're not the same people we were six years ago. We've done a lot of growing up since then. Say that you'll give us a chance to get to know one another again? Please," She begged.

Alright Jenifer, you win. We will take the time to get to know each other again, but only if we start as friends first. That means no kissing, or hand holding, or telling one another I love you. We will not be mutually exclusive, nor will we be spending all of our free time together. Since I'm afraid to be alone with you for long periods of time, whenever we go out we will be taking someone else with us. As friends we will not have any secrets about dating. If we begin seeing someone else, we tell each other about it. If we bed another person, we tell each other that too. I don't care how much it hurts; I am not going through what I did six years ago," I stated firmly.

"I can agree to all of your terms, but I won't promise not to get jealous if you began dating someone else," She told me honestly.

"Neither one of us can control our feelings Jenifer, just keeping our actions in check will be difficult enough," I said.

When I left Karen's house that night I didn't know whether to jump for joy, or kick myself in the ass. Trust was a big issue with me, and Jenny did more than merely break it, she shattered the damn thing. I loved her once, and if truth be known still did, but could I ever learn to trust her again. I guess time will tell.

Jenny and I started getting together every few weekends. Most of the time, we would take William to either the zoo or the park. Sometimes we would go out to dinner, usually at McDonalds, at other times Jenny would cook something for us at their place. Karen would join us once in a while, but she had started dating some guy in town. She wouldn't tell us who it was, but said when the time was right all would be revealed.

I really enjoyed being employed by Ford. The work was challenging, and I felt respected by most of my colleagues. The one problem was Debbie. After we initially butted heads she became impossible to read. One day she would be as sweat as sugar, complementing me on my ideas, and praising my work. The next day she was a bear saying that I needed to grow up, and concentrate more on my future. I didn't know what her problem was, but needless to say I wasn't overly thrilled when my boss decided to send the both of us to California to meet with the governor. Due to their smog problem, the state government had become very interested in our advancements in energy emissions. Since I had developed most of these products, and was a graduate of UCLA, it seemed only fitting that I be chosen to represent Ford during these talks. If the governor was impressed enough with our pollution control devices, he may be persuaded to initiate provisions that would give government subsidies to anyone buying a new Ford vehicle. This represented billions of dollars for Ford, and since I still received royalties off of every vehicle sold with these devices attached, I'd be making quite a chunk of change from it myself.

I completely understood my involvement with this deal, but I questioned my boss as to why he thought it necessary to pair me with Debbie.

"Matt, you are a smart guy, and I need you there to answer any technical question the governor or his staff may have. Debra is more outgoing, even flirtatious at times. Sending one of you without the other would be a mistake. The both of you working together might just land us this deal. I have already talked to Debra, and she has agreed to put aside any petty bickering so that the two of you can provide a united front in this matter," My boss said.

My relationship with Jenny had been slowly progressing to the point where we had talked through a great deal of our issues. We still weren't going out as a couple, but my anger over her cheating on me in high school had cooled considerably, and I no longer felt uncomfortable being around her. We discussed my trip, and the fact that I would be traveling with Debbie.

"Matt, I know we are not officially dating, and we both are free to see other people. I told you that I would always be honest about my feelings, so here goes. I don't like the idea of you spending three days in some motel in California with another woman," She admitted.

"I'm not too crazy about the idea either, but this deal could mean big bucks for the company and maybe even financial security for me. I have to go," I told her.

"I know, but I still don't like it," She said.

"I told you that we can't always help how we feel, just so long as we control what we do about it," I reminded her.

Ford spared no expense in putting us up in a very swanky motel. We met with not only the governor, but the states senate and house representatives. In the end, the deal was a go. Debbie was brilliant. I never saw a woman work a room with such ease. She reflected style and elegance and had all the men she encountered practically eating out of her hand. The word sexy didn't even begin to describe it.

"I can't believe we pulled that off," She said to me as we sat across the table from one another enjoying our victory night cap.

"I know you were brilliant back there," I told her.

"Hell, most of that stuff was your idea," She reminded me.

"True, but you were damn good at selling it," I replied.

"We make a pretty good team Matt. Why don't you order us up a bottle of this stuff, and we take this little celebration back upstairs. Your room or mine," She asked?

"Both," I said.

"Oh how kinky. You want to christen each of our beds then," She wanted to know?

"No Debbie, what I meant is that you go to your room, and I'll go to mine," I said.

"Why, are you seeing someone else," She asked?

"Not officially," I answered.

"What does that mean," She wanted to know.

So I gave Debbie a brief overview of my relationship with Jenny, leaving out the reason why we initially broke up.

"So you are not sleeping with her and neither of you are mutually exclusive with the other," She asked?

"That's right," I told her.

"What's the problem then," She wanted to know?

"I don't date people I work with," I explained.

"As long as one of us isn't over another Ford doesn't have any rules against it," She argued.

"It's a personal decision," I told her.

"Well break it. Matt we are good together. We both have the potential to take our careers all the way to the top. You have way too much talent to get tied down to a domestic and get roped into playing daddy to some woman's kid. Hell it sounds like she is not even giving you any in the bedroom. A man needs more than that. Come upstairs with me and I will make you forget all about little miss homemaker," She offered.

The scariest thing is if I would have had a few more drinks in me I probably would have taken Debbie up on her offer. As it was, it took every ounce of my willpower to deny her charms. I could now understand more clearly how easy it was for Jenny to have fallen prey to a guy like Kyle. He was charming, persuasive, and knew how to push all of the right buttons. Had I not lived through the pain of Jenny's little one night stand, I would have probably set a new speed record for the fastest two people ever got from the bar in that hotel up to the bed room.

The managerial team at Ford was thrilled with the success an unofficially deemed us the golden couple. I knew that this status would probably lead to more overnight travels with Debbie in the future, as I'm sure the company would want to capitalize on our methods of success. I got together with Jenny a few days after I returned home and she seemed rather nervous when I asked to talk with her in private. I told Jenny about the success of our trip and then the part of how Debbie tried to seduce me.