All Comments on 'Heredity'

Question why did you post this on a site dedicated to literary porn? I mean I know the section is sci-fy and fantasy but it is still supposed to be erotic.

As far as the story goes its kind of bland. It could be summed up as 3 people find ancient remote that sends them back in time further and further killing them due to the environment, and in the process starts life on earth. I understand that the story was intended to be somewhat short, but to actually tell a complete and satisfying story it needs to be longer. None of the characters receive proper characterization so thier deaths come off as neutral. In addition to that the remote kills them so quickly that we never learn anything about it, and the characters never get to explore, or ponder thier situation of being back in time. While the idea of a remote that controls time is interesting, within the story it might as well of been a hand grenade that just so happens to have started life on earth as well as kill 3 random unsuspecting people.

While I do not think that it is very good I you keep writing it will get better.

Why does a SciFi story have to be erotic? The other question I have for you is did you read the prologue? Explain to me how to get all that you wanted into a 750 word short story? I rather doubt that even Asimov could do that and he wrote stories on just about every subject you can name. All of the way from Robots, to the Foundation and explaining the Bible. I thought it was clever although I did figure out to reverse EMIT all by myself. Damn, and I was hoping to be the first one to comment and lose that cherry, I couldn't do it even with a heads up. Keep'em coming Gordo my friend, I'm not planning on going anywhere, well except to bed. Signed: BTW

Thanks to both commentators for your feedback. I do appreciate it.

As to the lack of eroticism I refer you to the second comment. Author Challenge events have specific rules. If it's a 750 word event the story has to be 750 words. Exactly! Yes, any story would be better with more words where characterisation or perhaps sex is included. But that wasn't the intent of the 750 event. I did take the time to explain that upfront so I'm not entirely sure why you'd complain over a story you were warned about.

Essentially what you're asking is how come when I was asked to write a "RED" story I didn't write "Blue"?

There are multiple events in the author's forum that request stories of a certain type and the rules are laid out ahead of time. I'm not sure if you've taken the time to read there but perhaps that might help you appreciate the story a little more. Over the last couple of years I've participated in the 750 format and all have been well received and good scores.

Isn't creation all about sex? This is a creation story.

Erotic? Don't know about that,

I've always liked SF and the short format with a nice twist. Thank you for an entertaining story!

Hysterical!! 10 stars, because the Bear pays extra for it, and it was worth it. I laughed so hard. I don't know how I found this story, but I'm glad I did. Thank you. One of my faves.

The BEAR

I always wondered what was in that primordial soup. I see: dead people. I borrowed the 5 extra stars from the Bear so I could give them to you.