All Comments on 'Heroic Act Triggers Taking a Gamble'

Nice.

Sweet story

proof read dont just use spell check. just bc a word is spelled right doent mean it the right word

Nice story JClife. Keep em’ coming!

"But you'll be glad to know that there will be no charges as you acted in self-defense" - Well, duh! It shouldn't even have been a question.

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There never should have been a GoFundMe page. The bank should have simply covered any uncovered expenses.

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"Please make me come," then "stop, I'm going to come?"

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"Jack had insinuated that what she and John had was an emotional affair and it was affecting her marriage." - Because they are!

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She agreed that they needed an honest conversation, and as soon as his honesty was too accurate, she bplted.

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"Molly, I'm here for you and if you see a better way forward with me then Jack, then I think you owe it to yourself to take the chance," - As a FRIEND, he should have said that if she saw a way back with Jack that she should pursue it, that ONLY then would he support her decision if she decided to leave.

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As a banker, he should know that with $20,000 in savings, there's no way that they should have a $2,000 balance on the credit card.

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Right at the beginning he asked if she was bonding with her boss and she got pissed, but we've seen that he was right.

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"But, she thought, what is there to explain. Jack is right, I did cheat on him, at least to the extent of having an emotional relationship with him that was eventually going to be physical." - Yep, she never should have been sharing intimate details of her marriage with John, even if she DIDN'T think it was going to be physical.

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"She knew in the back of her mind that John would be a good provider, a stable and attentive partner," - She's naive and/or stupid. John just wants in her pants, and is more likely to dump her than marry her. Ar a minimum he'd likely be unfaithful - He'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.

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"how hurt she was to think he was planning for divorce, without even talking to her" - Sigh. He TRIED talking to her, and she got mad and went back to confiding in John.

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The "10 of Jacks?" The "Ace of Jacks?" LOL.

Good story but a flaw here. He was shot in the course and scope of his employment making it a workers compensation injury. No disability insurance or go fund me for unpaid medical and rehab expenses.

Another solid outing by you but I would have liked my depth in the story while he was gone from both characters. I know many don't like that level of additional interaction, but to me, that separates good from great writers. 4*

sbrooks -- Wow. What's gotten up your nose? Nitpicky BS complaints, and from someone who also writes/submits stories? And "As a FRIEND, he should have said that if she saw a way back with Jack that she should pursue it." ??? Did you even read the story?

JClife -- Good story. Not perfect, but none of them are! Waiting for your next one. :-)

Ten of Jacks? Ace of Jacks?

Since when have playing cards gained a suit called Jacks?

Why didn't the bank pay his hospital bill and associated exspences..

Meh. She definitely crossed a line if the other dude had his hand up her skirt in a public restaurant. He certainly accepted that pretty damn easily, especially after she told him he had kissed her more than once, including once right before he got shot. Just because she didn't take somebody else's prick inside her doesn't make her a hero. Not sure I would dive back in quite that easily.

Enjoyed it. Well written. Story had some credibility and realism …. Well, except maybe for him succeeding at a gambling lifestyle 🤣

4 strong ****

Why isn't she breastfeeding Emily? Soooooo much better and..... sexier.

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Two small quibbles. One, ignoring voicemails and text messages is an LW trope. Ninety percent of human beings are going to read/listen to those, even if they don't respond. Most people want to KNOW, and would never ignore or delete these. Two, the spouse of a good friend was injured in a workplace robbery, and she was off work at 100% pay/benefits, all medical bills were covered and she received compensation of $212K for 'pain and suffering'. That is because these are 'workplace injuries', covered under OSHA, as well as state workers' compensation and corporate liability insurance. While the GoFundMe was a legitimate plot device, there's no way he was paying for this on his own or off at 75% of pay.

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The story itself was excellent. Your plot was more believable than most, and your characters were realistic. Kudos for avoiding the Martian Slut Ray Phenomenon, the Big Dicked Boss, the Saturnian Wimpy Beta Husband Effect and the Wife's Crazy-Slut Best Friend!! Your story moved along briskly and kept my attention. Additional Kudos for not spending another 10K words on the couple's 'backstory'!

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5/5!!! Keep up the great writing!!!

very beautiful story.

5⭐

sometimes life can make us lose sight of the important things and the things that make us happy.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

👍👍👍👍👍

I guess @sbrooks103x must really like your story because he only had about 25 lines of criticism. Must be you did a good job.

I enjoyed the story and can deal with a few mistakes here and there as long as they don't throw off the story. I give it a solid 4.

The poker section is horribly flawed. "10 of jacks"??? WTF is that? "Raised the maximum"?? That only would apply in a pot limit game, which are pretty rare compared to no limit or limit games. Someone called an all in bet on a AQQT5 flush board with only a 5?? Yeah, I guess it would be pretty easy to be a pro if your opponents were all retarded lemurs like that, but against players with a brain? Not so easy.

He also has no clue as to whether or not he is a successful trader, or someone who has just gotten lucky/ridden a hot market for a short time.

Bottom line, he may not need an appointment with a divorce attorney, but will likely need one with a bankruptcy attorney in the not too distant future.

Actually a really wonderful story that I feel loses a bit of credibility. Aside from the multiple edit issues, the biggest problem I had with this story is the multiple flops between 3rd person narrative, and 1st person to Jack's point of view. There was even an instance where Molly slipped from 1st to 3rd in the same paragraph. That type of storytelling is always very jarring to read. I suggest telling the whole story in just one narrative, and when possible limit the number of POV shifts, as too many of those can also be very disruptive reading.

Thanks for sharing, and if you can, try to reread it yourself before posting, or find someone else to help you review it.

Rnebular

A nice story, glad they made it. Have to agree with most of the comments made by sbrooks103x - as well as the comment from enderlocke77 about editing. Using the computer editing tools is half-assed. That should be the appetizer. Reading carefully through the text needs to be the meal.

A real hero would not use Go Fund Me to gamble & to make himself richer. Asshole.

So what happen to her boss? Why wait to go to HR? If she is truly contrite about her betrayal, that should be one of the earliest thing she should do. I hate it when author leave the offender off easily to move on to another victim.

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Rather than fighting for her marriage, all she did was talk. Her journey toward reconciliation is merely thinking of what she did wrong and why is it wrong, but no action. It reads like the wronged husband is the only one actively looking to reconcile and blamed himself for their problems. Even in the end, he brushed of her admission of guilt just so he can blame himself further.

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You skipped the chance to get them to truly discuss their marital issues by opting to let bygones be bygones. It might just be a romantic reconciliation story, but the wrong acts still need justice.

I just can't help saying this....I really hope this scores lots higher than sbrooks latest story. ..is the 25 lines of completely unnecessary nitpicking garbage in any way warranted. Perhaps it's just jealousy of a far better and more entertaining story. I think it was the great papatoad who said he'd rather read a good story with errors than a crap story grammatically perfect or something like that...wouldn't we all. Thank you for your work, yes it has a few errors but it was a good and realistic story.

Flipping from first the third person and back again interrupted the flow so much it irritated me and I quit.

Don't write about poker, in fact don't mention playing cards again. Others have mentioned it in their comments but that was truly laughable. Some POV issues, some dialogue oddities, some continuation issues. There was a story in there for sure but it was work digging it out.

I enjoyed the story, the mistakes you made aren't a deal breaker.

If that were the case do you have any idea how many Navy Seal/CIA spook/Intelligence Officer stories would be totally ruined? Hint....pretty much all.

All in all pretty, the POV changes did make it a bit hard to read smoothly, but you'll get the hang of it.

Good enthusiasm and a decent plot idea. The execution was lame and your writing style is oddly repetitive and redundant. Miscommunication or lack of communication is a lazy plot device. He leaves the corporate management world and had a run of luck gambling, so now he's a professional gambler? Molly should accept the divorce before they are living in a cardboard box. Sure, a few minutes on your word process and they are prosperous gamblers. Why not just have them win some gazillion dollar lottery, its just as likely?

So overall the story was lame, inane, and a bit obnoxious. But thanks for your effort.

He quits his bank job to be a gambler. Now he only needs to take up drinking to be the worst husband in the world.

Good story!

5

Nice, toooo predictable, wrong category. LOVE. Slap hapy papy #9

I see Jack as a lazy fool with a gambling addiction and it's not going to end well for Molly and her daughtet..

There's always an idiot who'd think LW presents realistic story especially this one. The only way anyone can accept the character's behavior, action, and plots in this story is through suspension of disbelief. And this story requires more. This is just illogical romantic bullshit.

@Annonymice - I wasn't the only one who picked on using "Jacks" as a suit, LOL.

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I stand by my comment that if John was her friend, and not just trying to get in her pants, he would have been encouraging her to try to work things out with her husband if possible.

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I really don't give a fuck if you like my comments or not, and I'm going to make them as I see fit no matter how much you bitch about them. Unlike you, I have an ID. If my comments annoy you, don't read them. I'd do the same to you if I could.

Okay, so what was this story? A guy is bored and doesn't like his job, the wife is bitchy and whiny, and is in an affair with her boss. The bank-gun fight occurs and we wait for the meat, the filling, everything is a prelude so far. So you serve up the guy wants to be a professional gambler. With a world of things to do you pick gambling? Where do they move, Vegas? What a disappointment.

That was a good story. It's very easy for people to fall into emotional affairs and assholes like John are always on the prowl for a fresh victim.

Good story. The mistakes were not enough that they took away from my enjoyment of your story. I do play recreational poker, but would never consider it as a professional. Too much stress with the big money. Emotional affairs, to me, are pretty much the same as a physical affair and difficult to forgive. In this case, it was a good reconciliation story.

I just returned from sailing on the great lakes and signed in to see if my latest story was posted. I have to apologize that I did indeed spend a very late and hazy night finishing up this story; gave it a quick read and posted it in haste, trying to get it done before I left for the week. I think many of the comments by sbrooks103x are more than valid and I can see that I really screwed the pooch on the poker sequence. Sorry about that. I will endeavor to do a better job of proof-reading and perhaps it is time to get an editor involved. For those of you that overlooked the multiple problems and liked the story, thanks. For those of you that pointed out numerous mistakes that I need to work on to improve my game, thanks. Lets not gang up on sbrooks103x as he called a jack a jack (haha).

JClife

loved it!...

Long winded story that needs editing and a rushed ending. Get bored with your own story?

Good story. Few mistakes, not a fan of RAAC... She still CHEATED!!!

BTW, while I had my nitpicks, I DID like this story, 4 stars.

Well I liked it. Yes the wife was stupid and fell for the boss's plan to seduce her while pretending to be a friend. Not sure a professional gambler is a good idea but hell it works in real life. Thanks for the happy Ending.

How far over the line do you need to go before it’s too late? She got pretty close before her brain engaged.

But not a single one of us is perfect (well maybe me, not bragging just telling it like it is).

Nothing happened that was beyond salvaging, marriage requires work, when both parties check out of the relationship disaster is more likely than not.

Seems I’m in one of my mellow forgiving moods, if I’d read it yesterday or maybe tomorrow it might have engendered a different response.

Good story well executed.

I thought he put his hand on her leg .. I am glad that is not considered Cheating ?

Brilliant and believable. No stupid women and wimpy men.

Issues seemed real and everyday ones with which one could associate

Very well written overall.

5/5

In this well-told story you showed us that sometimes it is good when a wake-up call comes that makes it clear to the partners what destructive path they are on. It's good that the "point of no return" had not yet been reached and that both of them recognized their own failure in time!

Dreadful jumping from first person to third person and back. Good plot though. What Molly did was most definitely cheating! First the kisses( with the asswipe's hand creeping up her thigh) and then sharing her intimate feelings about her marriage. It was just fortunate that Jack decided his life would be better with her , than without her. Still, cannot give it 5*s.

Good story that badly needs an edit. I like how they were able to save this marriage through some honesty and that, as usual, a stupid job was to blame.

Good story but you really do need someone to help you Edit. Yet when the couple are talking to each other the sentences sound so stilted. Every sentence Began with one spouse saying the other name first: Jack I just want to know that I love you. Emily I can't tell you how sorry I am. No one talks like that. If you can overcome that 1 hurdle your stories would read so much more smoothly and better.

She lied about the 1st kiss

Expanding on what I commented below, there's details left out like not repercussions to the boss? I mean, in order for him to take her back something like him being fired or something should've happened. They will keep on seeing each other and could happen again. Very little background on the boss/wide relationship prior to story would help maybe.

"Hey Asshole, you." BANG my last thought as i died was maybe i shouldn't have yelled a full sentence at the angry man with a machine gun as i charged at him

DIVORCE HER !!!!!

she cheAted and lied Bout iT..... this stoRy reads like the CraP she aLready did doEsnt matter !!!!

tAking her back after watching hEr pAsh another man is fuCkd uP !!!!!!

Re-read and I'm going up to 4*. I like it.

Seeing a kiss like that would have been it for me. Leave her in LA and go back to Vegas. Plenty of woman there. Some have to be better than her.

I enjoyed the story, looking at the storyline both Jack and Molly were at fault for their failing marriage. After Jack caught her kissing her boss, I believe that was the turning point in the marriage he quit his job and started a new life in Las Vegas, and she realized how bad she fucked up everything and stopped letting John her boss try to seduce her. In the end they found out what they had to do to fix their relationship and being that the seduction by her boss never went beyond the two kisses a reconciliation was ok. Well written with an interesting storyline. 5 stars

Enjoyable story. And more realistic was how emotionally being with John and kissing him caused that turmoil. She didn't have to go fucking the whole town to make a story with drama, they both had issues but didn't become ridiculous. She didn't completely soil herself and ruin things forever. It's a nice refreshing story from that stand point alone, that she was able to retain some self control before it got out of hand. A good story of trials and tribulations without the slut ray.

Complex story that is more than plausible.

In some BTB and RACC stories things are pretty cut and dried. In stories like this great deal more complex.

A solid 5

It wasn’t much of a story but on the plus side we did get to learn a great deal about Jack’s financial situation

Like it, 4 stars. Yes, unbelievable but I do. Have no idea why, maybe the happy ending.

If I had some bitch yelling at me every fucking day and telling me what a loser I am why the fuck would I want to stay with her? If I'm not getting sex from my own fucking wife why the fuck would I stay with her.😂😂😂

Reasonable story. They both caused their marriage to deteriorate. Her emotional affair with her boss (lunches, talks of her marriage, boss shamelessly seducing her and flirting, interactions at work) was pushing it to the trash bin. Her time with her boss is more forgivable because their marriage was on the rocks, but their was a feedback loop where her emotional affair was actively making things worse. She didn't love John. She just wanted to be wanted, to be with someone who listened to her, was nice and charming to her, to feel affection, basically none of which she was getting form her husband. However she shares a greater share of the blame because her time with asshole John was strangling the relationship with her husband. While it would hurt to see in person, two kisses even with some passion, is forgivable. Easier so than thr emotional affair and its damage to their relationship. She was very caring and loving to her husband when she blocked out John and helped her husband rehab and heal. They got closer. But then Jack said some stupid or inopportune things that set her off, throwing her back into situations that had hee seek out her new best friend and confidante. Ironically even though she kissed John the second time, she knew they were having an emotional affair that was damaging her marriage and she was feeling guilty (much more so after Jack's discovery). Hence even if Jack had not seen them, she wasn't going to end up in bed with John at that point in the story. However, if Jack had not been hurt while saving people at the bank from the active shooter, after her first kiss, though she stopped due to guilt (a good sign but unknowable to the husband), without Jack's act of heroism and their tile together as he healed, she was after that first kiss with John, well on her way to either an affair or seeking a divorce. That changed after Jack got hurt. So while he caught her the second time, and their marriage was still in jeopardy as none of the root causes of rheir marital strife had changed, she had no plan to be with John or anyone else until she saw how her attempt to heal their marriage played out. She just got caught in her stupidity with John before being able to take that path. The good news is that without discovering the depth of her emotional affair and seeing the second kiss, he would not have been motivated to go to Vegas and quit his job. This did a lot to fix their marriage in two ways: (a) Jack left his job he hated and felt good about his life and activities in Vegas and (b) she had time to really delve into the harm she did to their marriage and take a hard look at both of them, and also quickly figure out what was going on with John, and take appropriate action to get him out if her life entirely. So unknowingly to the other, they both benefited from the 3 week separation and could finally get back to healing their marriage. So no two passionate kisses, while a kick in the teeth, can be reconciled. It would be much worse if Jack felt that had a good marriage. Seeing the 2nd one had to hurt, but if he thought therr marriage to that point was sound, that would make it 10 times worse. But in fact their marriage already sucked and both were at fault, though the emotional affair with John had the wife in the driver's seat near the end as she was driving their marriage off a cliff with hubby in the passenger seat bickering and brooding. No, the reconciliation for two short kisses (well maybe #2 was a bit longer duration) was warranted and probably doesn't need counseling. Nah the bigger problem is why would two rational adults (without kids) even want to SAVE the dumpster fire that their marriage had become? That is a much deeper mystery :(

What is truly stunning is pathetically stupid ALLLLLL of the comments are regarding Molly's cheating.

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She didn't just cheat and get felt up in a public place by her boss.

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SHE DID THAT AFTER HER HERO HUSBAND WAS RECOVERING FROM BEING SHOT and almost like you know DYING?

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Molly didn't just cheat. The very chance that her husband nearly died had NO IMPACT on Molly.

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None. Un fucking believable.

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If a life altering event like that doesn't get you change your perspective.... you are not worth staying married to

I enjoyed it. I think an editor could tighten it up some but all in all a nice story well written,

The Anonymous poster from 5 months ago with the long post starting with "Reasonable story." wrote an in depth and accurate critique. Ergo nothing for me to add, except agreement that their marriage was already a real mess.

Both contributed to shit marriage. Her more having mental and emotional affair with her boss.

He caught on And trying to change. She still not All in. Shot ( And why if job so shit did he have so much feelings for employees) And changes (little too much,) and raac. Liked it enough to give average.

Have played a lot of Texas holdem

Even played against math teachers. A game of skill but luck (card-randomness, probability etc) plays a part. Got dealt pocket aces at final table 6 out of 8 deals. Took everyone out quickly.

So look at winners of Big tournaments at Vegas etc

Still fooling with John after they made solid progress was a bit much as was taking her word for what stage her emotional affair that had started getting physical.

She continues her affairs with her boss, and only stops because the husband caught them. Her internal struggle means nothing since she had the same thing before the husband was shot; yet, she repeated the kiss.

So, there is nothing to say it won't be repeated in the future. Perhaps with a different man, still...

I guess this is the last story I will read by this author. The first couple I read were really good. The last two, not so much. And once again, no mention of a post nup. But let’s have kids, so the next time stay at home wife, lazy ass gets tempted by a man with a bigger bulge in the back pocket, she can leave hubby really, really destitute. Incredibly stupid, and not even being in the neighborhood of reality.

MC deserves the next cheating that will come.

Nice story! Well done! Congratulations!

too fast at reconciliation. Just a few weeks alone in Vegas and all is well? She doesn't quit the job and then they work on something over time?

I just now figured out that french kissing and being fingered by a man is cheating? Seriously?

anonymous discovering petting and emotional intimacy are cheating... are you joking? without a consenting agreement with a partner to allow playing with others, it's cheating.

Good story JClife. good drama and resolution. the story pushed that they were both to blame, her a little more than him for the problems in the marriage. I see her a lot more at fault because she stopped communicating with him and instead communicated with a snake. Would have like to have heard the boss got let go for fraternizing with employees, but that's minor.

Hard to understand she how she can storm off when he discusses his feelings about her boss. They were dead on what was happening, but she's pissed he suggests it and the very next day she does exactly what he was concerned about. Still, she doesn't recognize her behavior UNTIL Jack sees her and her boss. Does she have any brains at all?

Of course she never stopped it even after they started communicating again.

Only after she was caught.