All Comments on 'Hidden Boss'

What a sweet, romantic story! You did have it in you after all!

Enjoyed the escape that refreshes. Thanks! That is what romantic comedies are all about. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy reconnected and they live happily ever after. In real life, I live with that girl, now grandmother.

Now back to work.

Unlike so many stories posted on this site, language, grammar, spelling, and punctuaion did not jump ugly and get in the way of storytelling. The craft is smooth and effective. That is appreciated by this reader.

An area for improvement: a little detail up front, rather than slowly dribbling out the nature of the "stores". Why not simply identify them as coffee shops? Yes, it eventually became clear.

Overall, this was a pleasure to read.

Thanks

I only read in Literotica's romance category, so I don't know what your other stories are like, but I quite enjoyed this one and hope you write in the romance genre again and again. I also appreciate that you included good closure at the end which will make or break a story for me. Bravo.

Thanks again!

I liked the story, though it would have benefitted from a tigher edit. The characters were well defined, and it was fast moving enough to maintain interest. Thanks for a great effort!

A wonderful nicely romantic story — Thank You for sharing!

"Realism Suspended and enjoyment embraced"

The story is rooted in realism:

- real job positions

- real cities

- real TV show (Undercover Boss)

- real medical bill issues

- real hooligans

- etc.

Yet other real things are suspended:

- Seeing a woman everyday for a couple of month, including sleeping in her apartment and still not being able to explain not calling her

- Having a button camera and a crew following, but still not being able to identify attackers

- Having no issue with thousands of dollars worth of clothing simply thrown out the window, but still counting every dollar for transportation

- Seeing a bully disrespect employees, then bullying the bully even worse on camera

- etc.

The reason I hate this story is that it started really good. So when it turned bad the disappointment was even greater.

Maybe the story should've taken place in a fictional universe, where humiliating and manhandling a District Manager on camera is a valid way to fire him.

I mean this with heavy compliments in mind, this story read like a Hallmark Channel Holiday Movie. I could easily see it there getting top ratings in 2021 (Well, without the sex anyway). This story is about the emotions and the journey to be together and a happy ending. All of which overcame concerns I had about the length of time involved with the filming, the lack of finalizing Becky’s position being permanent or the strange reason why Caroline was teasing Chris in bed in the morning. But the phone call moment where everything g was put on the table was worth it. Well done. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

"Realism Suspended and enjoyment embraced"

Thank you for an enjoyable tale. :-)

I liked the story and I do not normally read romances. The title caught my eye. Gkad I read it. 5*

Really enjoyed the story, thanks for sharing it!

@Hated It: "Realism Suspended and enjoyment embraced"

You and I interpret that comment quite differently. To me, it says, let go of your worldly problems and cares. Embrace the fantasy. Relax, enjoy it! Take a breather. My own contribution to that thought; if you're not enjoying the story, back out. Click off! Why you'd continue to read a story you aren't enjoying baffles me. There's plenty to read on Lit.

It doesn't, to me, at least, say there are no coffee shops jobs or that Chicago doesn't exist??? At some level, ALL stories are based on some realism.

Chris needed to tell Caroline convincingly what had happened in the past. To her, he lied. After romancing her, he just disappeared. Never called the way he promised. She would have waited that day for the call that never came! This is years later, and he pops up again, in disguise, LYING to her about what's really happening in her store.

In her books, he's done her wrong. He's not to be trusted. Is she going to believe the first excuse that comes out of his mouth? Yeah, I lost your number. Sure! At the same time, he's responsible for a major project that his company and the show have spent a lot of money and time putting together. His career is on the line. She threatens to blow it out of the water if he opens his mouth. She doesn't want to hear his excuses.

He needed something major and convincing, and quite frankly, I think the scene I wrote did just that. That left the story open to moving forward so he could propose and get a yes answer.

Nobody ever said the camera crew would be following him 24/7, just at work or if he went outside at work. That's your assumption; it isn't in the story. It was even mentioned that it was impractical to have a camera crew following; it would be too obvious.

He had every issue with his clothes being thrown away. His WTF? expression conveyed that. But Caroline was angry with him and making statements. That was one! People don't always do rational things when they're feeling vengeful.

As far as the District Manager scene goes...yeah, a little over the top perhaps, but I've never heard too many people complain when a bully gets their comeuppance.

Anyway, I do thank you for taking the time to put your comment together. I appreciate it despite your feelings about my effort.

Gordo12

Also, I want to thank all those who have voted, followed, commented and favourited this story. I appreciate it very much.

Nice romantic story.

Would have worked for Valentine's Day as well. Point is it is well written. The 'suspence' of how they knew each other was really well done.

A good amount of realism here the way you write about the workers’ lives. I’m not sure that most CEOs these days would step up to do the right thing the way Franklin did. But then again, I’m a sucker for happy endings.

This is the first story of yours that I have read. Glad I discovered you.

Thanks for sharing.

Sadly, your comments about the Medical and Insurance industries are absolutely correct. They have priced themselves out of business and big changes are coming. Thanks for sharing!

there isn't even a hint of believability in this story. the same bad old corporation crap you hear from the uninformed masses.

A wonderful holiday story

It's good to read a story about how a couple fights corporate greed, poor working conditions, bad middle management, neighborhood crime, and yet survives the ordeal to become engaged and married. I thoroughly enjoyed the story from beginning to end.

Good luck in the contest.

Great job, dialogue needs work but very very good overall

By the way, if any of you enjoyed this story, I posted another similar story about two days before this one.

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/the-bet-10-dates

While it's in Loving Wives, there is no sex, just a little fooling around, along with romance!!!

Great story!

5

I very much enjoyed your story! Would make a great Hallmark movie 🥰 looking forward to reading more from you

OK, now it's official! I am a sucker for serendipity stories, especially ones with some romance and work ethics in them. Hope you do well in the contest even without steamy sex scenes!

This is well written and thought provoking, even if in a strange place to promote corporate ethical change culture. Surprisingly 2020 in a good way... even the cancel culture (in this case, no smut in a smut competition) was oddly satisfying.

Great story, romance and conflict is a good combination, nice characters too. 5*

It has been a long time since I have enjoyed a story like this one. Very good, very funny.

But when reality raises it's ugly head, I think he calls Beth and has his credit cards sent to him and moves back to the Waldorf. After picking his clothes up off the street. Especially if he gets mugged. Caroline, with her horrible attitude, can fix her own life. A very nice fairy tale ending but real life sucks.

@Gave it 5 stars for the effort: Thanks for the comment. Of course, I could have written reality, but it's Christmas, and I wanted a feel-good story. You'll find my "Following Laura's Footsteps" from last year's winter contest was the same. Any other time of the year (except V day), it might have gone the way you outlined.

"Realism Suspended and enjoyment embraced". That said it all.

Thank you also to so many of you that voted and commented. I appreciate your participation and input on the story. Just because the story has been there for a while, please don't think your comments don't matter. They do!

No smut, no graphic sex, just a wonderfully different romantic tale.

Please keep them coning.

Really great story and gravely underrated in the contest 5***** Thank You

Some of Q's masterpieces like Food Desert or Air Possum, because although this was pretty short it ranks quite favorably with them. I'd like to think there are businesses and CEO's that operate like this but I never worked there.

"Why do some feel the need to hurl insults because something isn't to their taste?"

I think it has something to do with weak, angry, bitter little minds and jealousy since that's all they seem to be able to accomplish in life.

"Donaldson had a reputation for never having met a dirty trick he didn't like."

"While I respect the need for sharp business practises sometimes, Donaldson exceeded every parameter I had. Too many underhanded shenanigans."

Hmmmm... A play on names perhaps?

"He gave it a fifty/forty-nine/one percent chance. It was sort of fifty percent chance she'd shut me down and forty-nine percent chance she'd smack me, one percent chance she'd listen." How in the hell did he get odds that good? I'm still looking to even break even just one time.

"Fifteen thousand dollars for a two-day stay? That was beyond ridiculous." He got off cheap in Chicago, good thing he didn't have to pay for parking. The ambulance would only transport me to the nearest hospital, not where I wanted to go. After they stabilized me I was supposed to be transported to my hospital. I finally had to sign an AMA to get out of there so my wife could drive me there. When I got the bill it came to just over $1000.00 an hour and this was 7 years ago.

"She got an even snarlier look on her face..." Is that even a word? I haven't checked and spellchecker didn't bitch so if it isn't it should be.

"DON'T SMIRK! NEVER SMIRK! The smirk will kill you every time." I don't think truer words were ever spoken.

"No, it's not enough. It's a game, and the money is just keeping score. I'll never stop; I don't like this change. I'm not giving money away to a bunch of lowlifes! I'll vote against it, and I hope the other directors follow me." Sounds like a Donaldson to me. Gordo, remember what I said about cocksuckers, but I really wish I'd thought of the phrase "corpulent fucker".

"...my sweet Caroline", now I'm just going to queue up Neil, kick back and enjoy.

Great job, my friend. I knew you'd come up with a fine story for the season and wasn't disappointed. It was obvious of course once he saw Caroline, who and what was going to happen. All we needed was the backstory, the how and when. You did such a good job I didn't have a clue what the ride was going to be. Oh, yeah, in Chicago they don't use 'university' as in "...thru university." that's sort of Brit thing. ;-) Signed: BTW

I loved the start, but it devolved into a negative fairy tale. Not sure how old you are, but it felt like it was written by a bright MBA student who has yet to work in an executive business position and is clueless.

@good idea ruined: LOL, being almost 69 years old and having worked in executive positions in Canada's banking & financial industry, PLUS having founded one of the first internet businesses in the world and Canada, I have to disagree with your conclusions. Prior to retirement in 2012, you would have found 20-30,000 search engine references to me and my business.

That I have maybe kept my youthful enthusiasm for the underdog and those disadvantaged in life is a plus. It's a shame if those concepts bother you.

I see nothing wrong with writing a fantasy of a better world.

At least you called me "bright" :-)

Very enjoyable, and definitely very entertaining. And certainly underrated, without a doubt. Thanks, Gordo. Now I have to find your catalog to see what else you’ve written.

Bottom line... *5*

Love this story! That is a tough industry!!

So great! But now I am more interested in the glass roof master bedroom house! 5*

Extremely well done. One commenter said that Literotica is not the place to discuss the corporate culture: these days, EVERYWHERE is the place to have this discussion. People come here to escape from the real world. Here, they read fictional accounts of real people and then complain that it is not real enough!!! Thank you very much for this effort. It is both layered and unvarnished.

LWlurker

Great story, well written and one hell of a punch line.

Generally I like the drift of your stories and enjoy reading it.

Nothing is perfect. This whole story was a great read but ONE paragraph really damaged it.

Page 2. Chris phones Larry to clear up the mess between him and Caroline and Larry speaks as if he had been primed on his narrative. People don't speak like that. If you had spent a little typing time to coax Larry into remebering certain things it would have been a hit.

Other than that, a great story and thanks for sharing.

My big problem with the story was probably included for humor.

All that yes dear crap, after reaming him a new one after she realized who he was, she wanted to know why he didn't tell her.

I understand giving some deference to the wife, such as the move to Chicago.

He should have been able to ask her how he was supposed to tell her after she threatened to blow up the show?

LOL, yes dear, it was for humour.

As for telling her, any excuses he offered without proof would have been subject to doubt. At least that was my vision. He had to be able to tell her in a way that was believable.

Thanks for the comment.

What a great story, I found it well written with great characters and totally entertaining. I enjoyed for once a tale with no spousal cheating, just a per romantic tale. Well done 5++stars

No fiction in this story its all real life if you always do the right thing. Virtuous people don't decide when to b virtuous they just are.

Gordo12 - The term is "Yes Dear, yes Dear, anything you say Dear."

Good story my friend.

Was it realistic....well, maybe almost sorta. It did get a little over the top, especially at the end.

Did it grab my attention and hold it through the whole story? Yes, yes it did. I came right up to the edge of 'crashing out of the story in disbelief", but never went over the line.

And that, and only that, is what makes a good piece of fiction. Nice job!

The only hole in the story that I saw was the fact that Caroline obviously knew that Chris worked for the same company as detailed in her having his picture in her office from the magazine cover with a dart in it.

Why didn't she vent her wrath over being stood up by him if she felt so strongly about it? She had no problem doing so in her office once she finally recognized it was the same guy.

@BB: I'm not sure what you mean in the second line. It seems to me that she reacted pretty strongly after this line:

"A nasty look took over her face. She pointed. "My office! Now Chris." (p2) She didn't stand up and have histrionics for the rest of the staff, but she did react and not pleasantly. The story goes on from that point, and I felt it was well set up until the phone call that saved his bacon.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're trying to say, but you have me scratching my head in puzzlement.

CAROLINE WAS A BITCH. THROWING OUT HIS CLOTHES WAS OVER THE TOP!! IF SHE WAS DO GOOD SHE SHOULD HAVE KEFT AND GOT A BETTER JOB SOMEWHERE ELSE!! DID NOT LIKE THE STORY ONCE CAROLINE STARTED HER SHIT!!

Having been a restaurant manager in my misspent youth, I can say that Caroline's reactions to Chris weren't too over-the-top. I think every manager, given the RIGHT circumstances, would accept a romantic involvement with an employee (married being a 'possible' exception).

That said, you have played into a lot of the situations faced by managers and employees in the food service area. Being asked at a doctor's office what kind of insurance I had; 'Shitty' was my answer. Next visit she agreed - Shitty. As a manager, I did sleep on the floor of my new apartment. And being a manager in a corporate store - not any better.

Comment to other readers: have some empathy for the servers, cooks, etc. who serve you. And remember yourself the last time you had a particularly bad day at work. You got away with not smiling and kissing ass. They can't.

[29.05.23]

Top Shelf!

11/10!!!!!

Fantastic. Story. Not my first read or last

5 Stars on another great story by this author

Fun tale, my second read and it's as much fun the second time around. I have a lifelong thing for listening to rain hit tin roofs - caused by laying in tin-roofed barns as a kid but I'll go along with glass ones .......

So, how does the glass roof work out in the summer?

The glass had shading, so not too bad. But the entire house was built around a massive chimney that rose up through the center. A winding staircase around the chimney took you up to each floor until you hit the top floor and that was ALL master bedroom with glass ceilings. On a moonlit night, the bedroom was gorgeous.

Appreciating the operation workers with a living wage and adequate health benefits. Promoting from within due to merit and productivity. Benevolent corporate leadership that leads by example and quality product.

Enjoyed

Wow you broke it and it works perfectly lol great read thanks

Very much enjoyed the story. 4 stars because I’m personally not a fan of such exaggerated villains. Chris’s reveal that he was “the lost Chris” was one of the best moments of the story, in my opinion.

Believable MC's with a great story to tell. Thanks. 5.