Hide Your Heart

My contribution to the When A Man Loves a Woman Anthology. Thank you Randi for putting this together and inviting me to participate with all these great writers. Be sure to read the other stories. -BH

*****

"Is this seat taken?" the pretty brunette asked as she sat on the couch next to me.

"Nope," I said and sipped my wine.

"Kevin and Jan always throw great parties don't they?" she asked.

"I guess. This is the first time I've been to one. They just moved in last year and I don't get out much."

Kevin and Jan were my neighbors, and they were having a Christmas party. They liked to entertain and had a party for every holiday, not counting their monthly barbecues.

"You're the neighbor, right?" she asked. "I thought I saw you raking leaves while I was at their Halloween party."

"Yeah, that's me."

She giggled, "Do you have a name, or do I have to guess."

I sighed, "Look, I'm in love with my wife. I'm..."

"Oh! Sorry. I saw you sitting alone and you're cute so I...well, never mind. Where is she?"

"She's floating around here somewhere. She's never far from my side."

"Okay, I'll leave so she has a spot when she sits down. I'm Shae, I work with Jan. I guess I'll see you around."

I smiled and nodded. She stood and walked off to find another mark to hit on. Shae was a beautiful girl; it wouldn't take too long to find someone available to her.

*****

Twenty years before that party, I met my wife, Gianna Raine, in a coffee shop in Venice. She stood out in the crowd for a variety of reasons. It could have been her stunning beauty, her six-foot height, or the fact that she walked into the shop as if she owned it. The line stepped aside for her when she walked to the counter, and that's not even an exaggeration.

She wore jeans, a The Ohio State University sweatshirt, and her long titian hair was pulled into a ponytail. I would have bet she wore makeup, but it was just the natural beauty of her skin.

I was standing to the left of her waiting for my espresso when the clerk called out, "Gianna."

She smiled at me and stepped up to receive her iced coffee.

"You must be really special," I grumbled. I'd only been waiting a few minutes, but I was still annoyed she got hers first.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, surprised.

"I mean, the whole line let you cut, then you got yours before I got mine. You must be special."

She laughed and said, "You don't know who I am?"

It was my turn to laugh, "Should I?"

All I knew was she was American.

"This is too good to be true," she grinned. "Are you busy right now?"

"Other than having an espresso and checking out Doge's Palace, no."

"Come on, let's sit out front. It's a beautiful day and I have to hear about the rock you've been living under."

The clerk handed me the espresso, and we went to find a table outside.

"So, what's your name, handsome?" she asked.

"Joe."

She giggled. "How boring. Let me guess, Joe...Clark."

I sipped my beverage and shook my head. "Joe Bowes."

"Oh, my God!" she laughed. "You might as well be Joe Blow."

"Yeah, don't think I didn't get called that my whole life."

She raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"If we got married, my last name would be Raine-Bowes." She started laughing again. She had a sweet laugh, and I wanted to hear more of it. I did roll my eyes at the fact that she's a hyphenator.

"Your name is Gianna Raine?"

She nodded. "Do you recognize it?"

"No. It sounds like a porn star name. No offense."

"None taken," she smiled. "I might as well be in porn."

"Why's that? What do you do that I should know who you are?"

She pulled a magazine out of her bag and handed it to me.

"Vogue?" I asked as I looked at the cover. I laughed when I realized it was her on the cover in a slinky dress that was cut down the front to her belly button showing off her braless perky breasts.

I handed the magazine back and said, "I don't follow the fashion scene all that much."

She shook her head. "What do you follow?"

"Football mostly."

"Are you an athlete?"

It was my turn to laugh, "You don't follow that college on your sweatshirt, do you?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"I played football for them. Then I played one year in the NFL before I broke my femur. Now I do some television work as an analyst. Nothing major. It's just their new fantasy football show. I also make some money doing appearances."

She smirked as she looked me over. I wore a tight black t-shirt and linen pants. I guess I met her approval as she licked her lips subtly.

"Sounds fun," she said and slid her sunglasses off her head, down over her eyes. Just then a group of American tourists passed by our table.

"It's actually a lot of reading about and watching football games. It's not so bad."

"Listen, Joe, I don't have a lot of time to waste. You intrigue me, and you're pretty damn cute. Do you want to skip the museum and come back to my suite for some, um, lunch?"

I grinned. "I'll tell you what. If you can tell me the name of The Ohio State's mascot, I'll go back to your room with you."

I sipped my espresso and smiled.

She looked at me with a sneer, then one of the American tourists shouted, "Go Buckeyes," and she smiled.

"Hey, buddy. What's the name of the mascot?"

He said, "Brutus Buckeye," and she repeated it to me.

"You never said I had to know it. I just had to tell you."

"Okay, I'll let you win on that technicality. I'm sure I won't suffer too greatly."

She laughed, "Oh, honey. You're priceless."

It was obvious she wasn't used to guys not falling all over her. I suppose that's what drew her to me in the first place. As if my not knowing her was a point in my favor or something.

*****

"Enjoying the party, Joe?"

I looked up from my phone and saw Jan standing before me.

"Yeah, I was just checking the score of the games. Work, you know?"

"Uh, huh," she frowned. "Would you like a refill, or some of the finger foods?"

"No thanks. I'm good, I'll help myself when I need. You don't have to worry about me."

I gave her a bright smile, which she returned, and moved on to her other guests.

I was checking the scores because I was still gambling and had a few thousand on some of the college games playing that night.

The next morning, I would join the crew in New Jersey remotely and do my real job. Fantasy Football had taken off in the last twenty years and the little tv show we started blew up into a major time slot on the main network. Our ratings were higher than the nightly news. Crazy times.

I looked around the room and saw the couples talking with each other, and the singles trying to pair off. Gianna and I had been invited to spend some carnal time with some of our wilder neighbors. Who could blame them? Gianna was just as hot at 40 as she was at 25, and I was still in shape and had all my hair. I wondered which of the couples would be pairing off that night. Gianna and I never accepted those invitations.

Then I saw Shae walking my way again. I sighed when she looked at me with grim determination.

*****

Gianna opened the door to her five-star hotel's suite and motioned me in. I laughed when I saw the condition of her room.

"You're a slob," I blurted.

"Well, whatever, yeah I guess I am."

"Do you have crumbs in the bed too? Maybe, we should have gone to my clean room."

"Shut up, stud," she said and pushed me against the wall.

The kiss she planted on my lips was the most passionate I'd ever felt. She was only a few inches shorter than me, and I wasn't used to that. It was an interesting experience kissing someone so tall.

As her tongue led the dance with mine, I lifted her sweatshirt, and she didn't break the kiss until it was at her neck. I tossed it to the side and cupped her braless breasts in my hands.

"Your breasts are perfect," I said then dove in for my assault on her stiff nipples.

Moments later, she said, "Joe, God! Just like that, baby. Suck 'em har...oh, shit."

My hand grabbed her leg and lifted it to my hip. I pressed our pelvis' together and in an instant she was grinding her body into mine.

"Mm," she moaned and then her body started shaking. She must've been the quietest I'd ever been with. If I didn't feel her body trembling, I wouldn't have known she was cumming.

I set her leg down and smiled at the expression of bliss on her face as she tried to find the bed to sit on.

I took off my shirt, then my pants and boxers. My hard cock bobbed in front of her face, but she still hadn't opened her eyes.

I playfully tapped her on the forehead with the underside of the tip. In a falsetto voice, I said, "Hi, famous model lady. I'm little Joe."

Her eyes snapped open, and she fell back onto the bed in a fit of laughter.

I stepped out of my shoes and pants and walked around to the side of the bed.

"Jesus, Joe. You should never call that beast little Joe again."

She took it into her hand and stroked it. She eyed it as if it were the first cock she'd ever seen.

"Go ahead, introduce yourself," I said with a grin.

She kissed it as if little Joe were poisonous.

"You can..."

She pulled back and snarled, "I don't do that."

"What? You don't give blowjobs?"

She shook her head and let go of my penis.

"Do you like having your pussy eaten?"

"I know, it's hypocritical and all that. I just, I've never done it."

I backed up and saw a bottle of water on the dresser.

I took a big gulp, offered it to her, and she took it and drank as well.

"So, you don't like to do it? Or you've never tried and don't know if you'll like it?"

"I've never tried it."

I laughed and took her hand to stand her up. I unbuttoned her jeans and slid them to the floor.

"I see. You've always been the hot girl that got guys to do whatever you wanted. They were so happy to be with you, they didn't care about getting head."

"I'm not like that."

I laughed again. "Yeah, you are. You've never taken the time to give your lover pleasure in your life, have you? The guys will cum and that's all they care about anyway, right?"

I didn't give her time to answer. I'd been with women like her before.

i continued, "Well, I'm not interested in a selfish lover. I don't care if you blow me or not, but I do care that you want to please me as much as I want to please you. Sex isn't just about cumming for me."

She looked at me as if I were mentally deficient. I shook my head and pulled on my clothes.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm gonna take off. I still want to see some of the city before I go."

"You're turning down having sex with me? You're joking?"

I shook my head. "That. It's that attitude right there. It's my fault. I knew what you were like the moment you gave me the 'how dare I not know who you are' look. I took a chance that you'd be someone I'd like to get to know, but my first impression was correct. I'll see you around, Gianna."

She was stunned speechless. Admittedly, I was too rough on her, and I should have just fucked her brains out. If I were the kind of guy to brag about conquests, I'd have been balls deep in her without a second thought. I'd done enough of that shit in college, and I'd grown out of it.

When the bright sunlight hit me as I walked out of the lobby, I started laughing hysterically at myself. I was the biggest idiot on the planet for turning her down.

*****

Shae sat in the empty spot beside me and said, "You gave me the brush off, jerk. Your wife is floating around her somewhere? That's cute."

I cut her off, "Look, Shae, I know what you're going to say. I'm sure you're a great girl, and you're drop dead gorgeous, but I promised to be faithful to my wife even if she's not here and I'm going to do that."

She looked at me confused, and said, "But..."

"It's just the way it is. I stood in front of all of our family and friends and promised I'd be faithful and love no other. I live up to my promises."

"I don't understand why, Joe."

"I love my wife, Shae. It's just that simple."

I stood and went to refill my wine glass.

*****

I got in line for a quick lunch and realized I'd lost my wallet. "Shit," I groaned when I realized it must be sitting on the floor of Gianna's room.

I walked the few blocks back to the hotel with my tail between my legs. She probably found it and was in the middle of burning 'asshole' into the poor leather billfold.

The elevator ride to her floor felt like it took an hour, rather than the few seconds it was in reality. I let out a deep breath when the doors opened and there she was in front of me.

"Change your mind, Asshole?" she shouted. "Too fucking bad, you'll never..."

"My wallet fell out of my pocket in your room. I was hoping to get it back if that's okay with you."

She groaned and said, "Fine, but be quick."

I was going to ask if she were going to find someone else to fuck, but I thought better of it. I still needed my wallet.

She opened her door, let me in, and closed it behind her. "I'm not like you think. You had no right to treat me that way."

I picked up my wallet and sat down.

"Gianna, when was the last time you spent time kissing your man's neck, earlobes, chest, stomach, hell anywhere besides his lips?"

She glared at me with her arms folded across her chest.

i continued, "Let me see if I come close. You kiss, you feel each other's bodies. He feels you up, grabs your ass, plays with your pussy. You get undressed, he kisses all over your body because you're so fucking hot, who wouldn't, right? Then he goes down on you until you cum, then you beg him to fuck you because you need him so bad."

She looked away and I knew I was hitting too close to home.

"He fucks you in all the positions you tell him to, then maybe after you cum, he shoots his load and the night's done."

"I'm not that bad."

I waved her off. "Bad is a relative term. 99% of the guys on this planet would be more than happy with that. I'm not one of them. I want an engaged partner. I want you to care about how good it is for me as much as I care about making you feel good. I'm sorry, it's just how I am now. I wasn't always like that, but I realized after a while I had the right to be fussy."

She sat on the bed and lost all of her posture and poise.

"I've never been turned away before. I don't know how to handle this."

I laughed. "You don't have to handle it. I'm about to be out of your life, and the next guy you bring in here will happily get his rocks off in you."

"What if I said I'd like to try and give you a blowjob?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I told you; it isn't about the blowjob. We can have mind-blowing sex without you putting me in your mouth. You just have to be fully engaged in my pleasure as well as yours. Sex is supposed to be a two-way street."

She stood and pulled a bottle of Moet out of the mini fridge. After pouring two glasses, she handed me one, then chugged hers down and refilled it.

"You're the most interesting man I've ever met, Joe. I don't know how to handle this. Part of me wants to kick your ass out the door, yet part of me wants you to give me another chance. Even if it's not for sex. I actually want to get to know you better and I've never wanted that before."

"I'll tell you what. If you promise not to be Gianna Raines the model, and just be Gianna in the Ohio State sweatshirt, I'll take you to lunch."

"I can do that."

*****

"How's everything going, Joe," Kevin asked as he poured a glass of red wine.

"Good. It's a great party."

I slid my glass over to him and he filled it three-quarters full for me.

"I see Shae has been paying a lot of attention to you. She asked us for the scoop."

"I figured. I told her I wasn't interested. I still love my wife, man. I know that's messed up, but it's how I am."

He shook his head, "It's all kinds of messed up, but it's your life. How are the kids?"

"They're great. With both of them living in the dorms now I realize being an empty nester isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"Well, I can tell you it's an adjustment, but we have to let them fly on their own at some point, brother."

I nodded and thanked him for the drink.

*****

After a surprisingly pleasant lunch, Gianna and I found ourselves back in her room. Instead of her kissing me as she did before, she pushed me against the wall and unbuckled my pants.

She dropped to her knees and kissed my stomach as she pushed my pants and boxers down to my ankles. As she stroked me to full hardness she kissed and licked my balls.

"That feels great, baby," I sighed.

She looked me in the eyes and kissed her way up the shaft and licked the precum off my glans.

"Tastes, odd," she said. "Not terrible." Then she took me into her mouth and moaned. It felt fantastic. For her first blowjob, she was a natural.

A few minutes of her bobbing, licking, and sucking later, and I was close to cumming.

"Sweetie, I'm close."

She pulled off and timidly asked, "Do you mind if I don't take it in my mouth this time?"

"That would imply there will be a next time," I said as I lifted her by the shoulders.

"I hope so," she smiled as I pulled off her sweatshirt.

I nodded as I slid her jeans to the floor, then slipped my fingers across her wet pussy.

"Oh, Joe, you can do all that romantic shit later. You've got me so worked up."

We fell onto the bed together and kissed while I fingered her slick slit. She moaned her appreciation when I put my middle finger into her tunnel. She was tighter than I expected and enjoyed it when I found her g-spot and rubbed.

She moaned and groaned into my mouth as I fingered her and used my thumb on her clit. She almost lost her mind when I inserted a second finger into her pussy and my pinky finger in her ass.

"Oh, fuck, Joe," she mumbled into my mouth. "Never, oh, God! Never..."

Her body trembled and her legs clamped my hand in place as she moved her hips, sucking every bit of pleasure she could pull from my fingers.

Suddenly, she rolled onto her back and released my hand.

"Jesus, Joe. No one ever touched my butt like that before. It sent a shockwave right to my pussy."

"I'll have to take your anal virginity then."

Her eyes went wide, and I kissed her. "Some other time."

I moved between her legs and kissed her breasts as I lined up to her tightness. Her legs wrapped around my body and her heels pulled my ass into her.

"Yes!" she sighed as I entered her. "You have such a great cock."

I rocked back and forth until my balls touched her ass. I ground my pelvis into her clit, circling my hips. She cooed her appreciation and said, "Give it to me, baby. I won't break."

I pulled out of her and roughly flipped her over. I pulled her legs into each other and slid my aching hardness into her prone body. With my legs outside of her, I pounded her into the mattress. The recoil pushed her body into mine, pushing me into the air, and I continued stroke after stroke until she screamed my name so loudly I thought the windows shook.

I held out as long as I could, then pulled out from her gushing pussy and released my seed onto her puckered pink butt hole. I collapsed onto the bed and squeezed her butt smearing the cum around her pink hole.

"Jesus, Joe. Wow!" she moaned as I played with her virgin ass. Her body stiffened when I pushed my ring finger into her cum-lubricated hole. "Holy, shit, Joe!"

I kissed her quiet and had my way with her tight ass for a few minutes. I reached my pinky down and touched her clit, sending her over the edge.

"I'm cumming. Oh, my God! I'm cumming. Don't stop!"

When she stopped gyrating on my hand, I pulled my fingers out of her and slid out of bed. I washed my hands and brought a wet washcloth to clean her gooey butt.