High School Sweetheart Problems Ch. 04

The question obviously is, "Why didn't I delete Sara's number?"

Well, I couldn't answer that. I wasn't thinking I could get some side action with Sara. Fucking Sara again was the last thing I was thinking about. Why my head works the way it does is anyone's guess.

If I had to try and explain it I would say, do you know why most self destructive people are so self destructive? One of the answers as I understand it is that people who know nothing but chaos in their lives can't cope with being calm. If all you know is constant instability you get comfortable with it. That becomes your normal.

When the calm comes you get uncomfortable with it. You aren't allowed to be happy, so something needs to go wrong. Maybe it makes no sense, and believe me I think it is stupid too.

Still, I can't explain it any better. I was not allowed to be happy. My way of making sure something horrible would go wrong was keeping Sara's number.

I was doing well in the week without Elizabeth. I didn't really think about drinking, and I kept up nicely on my studying. I even got back in a good rhythm of going to the gym. Before I was always either drunk, or recovering from a hangover. Neither of those states were very good for working out.

The week drifted by, and when Saturday came around I was feeling pretty good by myself. Something I wasn't used to. Of course, that meant something awful had to happen.

I was getting ready to head off to the gym when I got a message. It was Sara of all people. She had gone dark since the day she saw me with Liz at the mall. My blood ran cold at her name, but I managed to pull myself back in. Some defiant part of my brain refused to let her have power anymore.

"How long have you and Elizabeth been a thing?" she asked with some obvious nefarious purpose behind the question.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just tell me."

I decided to humor her for some reason. Maybe I thought It would be fun to rub it in her face that I was dating someone who cared about me for once.

"Over a week. Not that long"

"I need to show you something," she responded ominously.

I frowned at the screen not sure what she meant. She typed again, " I need to show you this in person."

"Why in person?" my fingers typed out the words hesitantly.

"Because you wont believe me. Can I come over? It wont take that long I swear."

I was going to say no. I was just about to tell her to fuck off, and be done with the conversation. I had been on such a hot streak with taking care of myself, and I wasn't about to relapse by giving her an in. She cut me off before I could message back.

"It is about Elizabeth."

Icicles formed in my blood again. I didn't know what that meant, but it led off with an obvious undertone that wasn't good. It was the wrong move to make in every play book you could think off, but I told Sara yes. She was over within the hour.

She came flying into my place like she owned it. She didn't pause for a second when I opened the door. Just came right in pushing past me on her way to the kitchen.

It was for the best. Seeing here again tripped a switch in me. A sick feeling bubbled up in my gut threatening to overflow. Just seeing that satin black hair again, and those sapphire blue eyes had my blood pressure up enough to warrant a trip to the hospital.

She stopped, leaning against my sink motioning for me to come over. That black sweater she was wearing failed to hide anything, and the bare skin she was showing on her belly in the Fall told me she was well aware of how provocatively she was dressed.

It took all I had to keep myself from running. Every time I saw her without alcohol in my system I was always on the cusp of an anxiety attack. Still, I managed to make my way over to her.

"I knew something was weird when I saw you two at the mall," she launched into a monologue at the drop of a hat.

"Before I start, I want to say I'm sorry Liam. I'm just trying to help you here."

"Like usual huh? Because you're always trying to help me right?"

She paused mid breath, "What?"

"Don't give me that Sara. Don't act surprised. Just tell me whatever the hell you need to tell me, and leave."

She looked caught off guard. I thoroughly enjoyed that expression on her face, but the effort of telling her off had my pulse pounding in my skull. I couldn't fake my confidence for much longer.

She let go of an aggravated groan, "I've always been looking out for you Liam. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean I don't worry about you."

"Bullshit!" I snapped, "I don't mean a damn thing to you! I'm a fucking toy at best!"

Sara opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but shut it quickly hanging her head. I could hear her breathing pick up speed as she opened her phone and started to look for something.

"Remember you said that while you look at these."

She delivered the line monotone, but slammed her phone on the counter face up clearly angered. I was confused now. Too confused to keep as angry as I was before, but that undeniable heat was still clawing its way up my chest.

I was afraid of what the pictures would show me. I was absolutely terrified. The context clues I was given up to that point told me Elizabeth was probably going to be on them. Sara simply stepped back, and crossed her arms waiting for me to see the screen.

The first picture was fairly benign. Just Elizabeth walking down one of the roads at our university with a guy I had never seen. Some tall guy with short brown hair. Styled a little spiky with a sheen of hair gel.

"Did you tail Elizabeth for these?" I asked, stunned.

"Yes I did. For you Liam," She stepped forward and swiped to the next picture.

It was Elizabeth and the same guy leaning up against what I was forced to assume was the guy's car. It certainly wasn't Elizabeth's unless she started driving an older mustang while I wasn't looking. They stood close to each other apparently happy as they were both smiling.

I knew where it was going. My chest heaved taking in gulps of air that didn't seem to make it to my lungs.

"I'm sorry..." Sara whispered next to me before swiping the next picture.

The two were hugging. The picture was from the guy's back, and I could clearly see him planting a kiss on her cheek. She was all smiles with her eyes closed. Even with Sara's incredibly amateur photography work I could make out what I needed to.

Sara quickly scrolled a few more pictures showing the two getting in the car and taking off. I had dissociated too much to actually register the new pictures.

"I thought it was weird, because I had seen her with another guy. I wanted to make sure, but I knew she didn't like me so asking her out right wouldn't work," I felt Sara's arm drape delicately around my shoulder, "I got these before she left for Thanksgiving. I'm sorry it took me so long to show you."

"Why are you showing me this?" I had to hold onto the counter to keep from falling over.

"What do you mean, Liam?"

"It is never simple with you. There is always another motive. What the fuck do you want from me?"

She stuttered in shock, "I wanted to warn you Liam. I didn't want her to hurt you."

The hypocrisy would have been hilarious if I wasn't furious at her, and Elizabeth. I jerked her arm off my shoulder, and took a step away from her.

"You are such a fucking lair! You just want to fuck with me when I have a good thing going!"

"What do you mean good thing? Liz is lying to you not me Liam," even as I got loud and irate she stayed calm.

"You don't care about me Sara! Stop pretending that you do!"

She moved closer to me. I had started crying at that point. A sad sight to see a full grown man like me crying in frustration. She reached out and slowly wrapped her hands around my wrists.

I didn't like that. After having Elizabeth's hands there it made me sick to have Sara touch me the same way. Still I couldn't move away.

"She decided to use you for some side action. She lied to you. If I didn't care about you, why would I go out and get the proof like I did? If I didn't care I would have just left you to find out yourself," Sara looked past my eyes into my soul with those brilliant blue eyes. "She doesn't care about you, I do."

"Stop..." was the only weak protest I could muster.

"You saw it, she wants to use you. I've been here the whole time. Every night you needed me I was there. That's proof right there that I care."

She pulled me closer, and stood on her tiptoes close enough to kiss. Her lips hovered just a hair's length away.

"I just want to make sure you are ok. If you would be happy with someone else then I would be happy to let you go, but Elizabeth just wants to use you. You see that now right?"

She was so insistent. I knew she didn't care. I knew she was nothing but poison, but I needed to believe in something. The pictures told me what I needed to know about Elizabeth.

"She has been seeing him a while. I've seen them around the compass, that's why I checked."

Her breath was intoxicating and warm across my lips. Her hands sliding up and down my arms tricked my mind into believing someone was there for me.

She was using my weakness against me to get what she wanted again, and I knew it. Suddenly the anger was back in full swing.

"I love you Liam," she breathed across my lips.

I decided that I wasn't allowed to be happy. It was just like I had thought all along. If she was going to go through all the trouble to sneak around, and spy just to get a hold of what she wanted then who was I to deny her?

I kissed her. It was hard, and rough. She was startled, and tried to take a step back, but I locked her head in place by grabbing a handful of her hair.

Sara was startled, but she still fell into the kiss pushing back with the same kind of hot intensity.

"Is this what you wanted?" I asked pulling her out of the kiss.

Her eyes were wild with a mix of confusion and surprise.

"I just wanted to warn you," She answered with her trademark innocent voice. She loved using it to try and get her way, and it worked this time.

Putting my palm on her bare midriff I backed her up against the counter, and went right back to assaulting her mouth. I was taller than Sara by a decent margin, and much stronger. Making her go where I wanted was never an issue.

Each time our lips crashed back together she relinquished a little more control. Her groans turned to soft innocent whimpers, and her roaming hands settled for holding onto my shirt for dear life.

My hand ran up and down her hot, smooth belly. I kept constant pressure so she had no chance of slipping away. Not that she had any plans to. My fingertips felt up her body till I reached her bra, and then back down slipping into the hem of her jeans.

I tugged hard on the button pulling her hips flush against mine. Her gasp followed by a weak whimper was delicious, but sickening at the same time. I hated her so much, but I hated that she could still turn me on more.

She pulled out of our furious kiss pushing against my chest. Her eyes gleamed up at me with something like a deer in headlights look.

"Liam, what are you doing?" her tone was childish and innocent. Like she didn't know exactly what she was doing.

"Don't act like this isn't what you wanted."

Her eyes lowered and darkened paired with a mischievous smile crawling across her face, "I don't know what you mean baby."

I leaned in close to her ear, and through gritted teeth whispered, "Don't call me that."

Pulling her by the hem of her jeans, and her neck I turned her towards my bedroom door, and started walking her backwards. She was visibly excited. Sara loved to use her little innocent girl routine, but had trouble holding it back when she was being truly devious.

"Ok, Daddy," she whispered with a juvenile giggle. She got exactly what she wanted.

I pushed her onto my bed carelessly. She landed and bounced a few times still giggling like I did something funny. Her sweater didn't stay on long, and the lacey black bra she had under it went next. Tugging her pants off she was in a matching set of black panties. I was by no means an expert on girl's underwear, but they looked expensive. Another hint that she planned this from the start.

It made me irrationally angry to see that. After I was down to my boxers I straddled her hips, and held her hands down above her head. She laid there under me, mouth half open with an excited look in her eyes. She got a hold of herself, and changed the look back to her half scared, innocent girl act.

"Daddy, don't hurt me..."

I crashed my lips into her's, taking that lying mouth. She squeaked out some kind of a protest before it turned into a steady stream of moans. I locked her wrists in one hand like a vice grip, and my free hand found her throat.

She kissed back fiercely until she felt my fingers wrap around her neck. Sara took in a quick gasp of air, and suddenly stopped fighting back. Pulling up I could see her feigning fear like she loved to do.

From her cheeks down to her chest her pale skin was flush. Sara's chest was rising and falling at a rapid rate, and her breasts bounced softly with the motion. Her rose shaded nipples grew painfully long right in front of my eyes from her wild arousal.

I took in the sight of her at my mercy drinking in the satisfaction it gave to the raging hate in my chest. I leaned in taking her nipple into my mouth, and went to work giving the hard nub broad, long strokes with my tongue.

She gasped and whimpered but didn't move. When she squirmed a bit too much I squeezed down on her throat as a friendly reminder that I was in control now.

I added a few nibbles on the sensitive bud between laps of my tongue, and worked my way up to full quick bites. She squeaked and wiggleed away instinctively, but planted herself back in place when I squeezed her again.

I let her arms go, sure she wouldn't move them as long as I had her throat, and reached down placing my hand against her crotch over her panties. Her hips rolled against my hand looking for some relief from my relentless teasing. Her core was hot, and wet. Her panties were soaked through already.

I moved off Sara's small, and frail body. With little care for what she wanted I roughly yanked her panties down her legs, and tossed them with the rest of her clothes.

"You're being so rough, Liam," she said between giggles.

I spread her legs, and slammed right into her needy cunt. It wasn't like with Elizabeth. With her it was soft and sweet. I wanted to savor everything. I wanted her to feel as good as possible. I cherished the sweet and caring look in her eyes.

I couldn't care less what Sara wanted. I didn't care if I hurt her, and knowing Sara, she didn't mind either if she got a little roughed up.

She gasped in surprise and probably with a little pain at my sudden enty. She was wet, hot, and tight. Her body was more than eager for what was coming next. Even though her body was ready she put on that fake fearful look, and covered her chest with her hands sheepishly.

"Be gentle daddy," she whimpered, averting her eyes from mine.

"Shut up, Sara," I growled and wrapped my hand around her throat again.

She made a big show of yelping in fear and holding her chest tight as if she was terrified, but she couldn't hide the evil smile from cracking through her facade.

I pulled back and thrusted into her hard. Her sudden squeak of pain and pleasure spurred me on. I pumped her soaking wet core relentlessly, keeping a tight hold on her throat, but showing enough restraint to let her take little sips of air.

Her arms stayed wrapped around herself innocently covering her tits as if to hold some level of modesty. Her perky breasts bounced up and down with every thrust peaking her red nipples from behind her arms every time I pumped her pussy.

She kept gasping and quietly whispering for me to not hurt her, and to go slower, but even as she begged for me to relent her twisted grin kept peeking through. Even in bed she was a mind fuck. Thankfully I was already used to her various moods in bed.

She broke half way through and began harshly grabing and teasing her nipples. Her fake cries of fear turned to shameless gasps and moans of pleasure. She writhed and moved under me pushing into every thrust impaling herself on my hard member. Her innocent little girl act had fallen apart.

An earthquake ran through her body as every muscle in her tensed. One of her hands locked around my wrist, and the other one reached up pawing at my chest for support. Sara screamed my name, and thrusted herself into me as she climaxed. I felt her clamp down on me, and I buried myself as deep as I could in her while she finished.

Wordlessly I finished as well emptying myself into her. She moaned and squirmed and writhed under me in pleasure as I slowly let go of her neck.

"Mmm, as good as ever, Liam," She moaned, licking her lips with her eyes closed. As if she had just tasted something delicious.

She reached up, and wrapped her arms around my neck. Sara pulled herself up against me, and peppered soft kisses all over the nook between my shoulders and neck.

"I told you I care. I want you more than anyone, and that's your proof," she whispered honey coated words into my ear. Her warm breath tickled my skin.

Her words were poison coated in sugar. A cyanide pill hidden in a cupcake. She was like the Devil whispering promises that all had deadly costs if I accepted them. The position I found myself in, holding her against me still joined at the hips, meant I failed to resist the Devil's temptation. Even knowing full well the consequences.

I didn't want to believe Elizabeth would hurt me, but Sara had always been there like she said. I hated that at the end of the day, when everything was said and done, all I had was Sara. Even to the only one who seemed to want to keep me around I was a background character. I hated it, but still, where else did I deserve to be?

For as awful a person I was, I deserved to have someone who didn't love me.