Hire a Hubby

"Alright Snow White." He laughed.

"You make friends with a magpie, you have a friend for life." He picked up the bottle cap and opened a biscuit tin on the kitchen counter filled with trinkets... bits of tin foil and 20cent pieces. I snatched the bottle cap out of his hand.

"Hey! He gave that to me!" Harry laughed.

"Fine. All yours. Let's finish dinner eh?"

—-

We pan fried the carrots with honey and thyme from his garden. He had me shell some peas and he boiled them and potatoes and he served the feast, big enough for probably a dozen people, on his bar where our legs fell against each other. We'd got through quite a bit of wine by the time we started eating. Enough that old feelings were slowly bubbling up, much as I was trying to ignore them. We were on our second helpings and whining about how full we were when my fingers accidentally grazed his and we caught each other's eye.

He frowned. Oh dammit. He was steeling himself.

"Hey Hugh?"

"Yeah?"

"Long shot, but it's Christmas. Are you single? Are you still bi? If I told you I haven't stopped thinking about you for two years would you think I was completely fucking insane?" I stared at him. He held my gaze.

"Single, yes. Bi, yes. Insane? Yes. But I would never hold that against you."

"Are you too famous to get fucked?"

"Yes." I said. Harry shrugged and gulped down his wine. I grinned as I stood up from the bench and wrapped my arms around him. "Famous people don't get fucked. They get wined and dined and maybe offered drugs if you have them. Famous people don't fuck. They make love." He leant his head back into my chest.

"I don't have any drugs." He said as I stroked his hair. I kissed the top of his head.

"That wasn't a caveat." He reached around me and squeezed me in tight.

"Should never have let you fuck off with Andie." He said. "I thought it was meant to be. Two cute whores with cute names from a cute movie."

"I prefer the term actor to whore usually." I said. Harry turned around and stood up, taking me in his arms and leading us to his living room where we fell into the couch together. "What movie?" He laughed.

"Four weddings and a funeral? Hugh Grant? Bumbling and affable and charming with floppy hair?" I blinked as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Should have known I was the real love story. Andie was the distraction in the second act."

"You're the stupid romantic interest who won't stick around for two minutes and hear an explanation. I didn't know people did that in real life."

"Oh well. What, two more years wasted? And now you're richer than me so you don't have to feel bad when I shout you dinner."

"I didn't waste two years." I grinned at him, sitting up and pulling my shirt off. "I got a gym membership." I flexed for him. "Now I look great shirtless."

"You always looked great shirtless." He traced his fingers down my abs. "These are nice though."

I pulled his shirt off to compare. He was still more ripped, damn. I guess the head start really paid off. I felt his muscles gently and we pressed against each other. I held his head in my hands and pressed my forehead to his.

"Please don't run out on me again." I said quietly. Harry's grip tightened around me.

"I promise." He said.

We pulled each other's pants off slowly and desperately, moaning at the electricity when our flesh touched. I ran my fingers through Harry's chest hair and clutched at his back, humping against him.

"Still want to bottom?" He checked.

"Yeah." I choked out. "We should be good, I eat clean these days."

"Good boy." He growled. He lifted me onto his lap as he stretched out on the couch and I moaned as our dicks jumped against each other's.

"You got condoms and shit? I'm kind of a slut." I said.

"Me too." He reached beside him and fumbled around in the coffee table drawers. He handed me the lube and started wrapping himself up as I watched him, letting the lube fall to the side and folding my arms. "What's wrong?" I looked at his dick and sighed.

"Was hoping for a little more foreplay than shoving some lube in my hands but whatever." He blushed.

"I got carried away..."

"It's fine."

"Shut up Hugh." He sat up and pushed me on to my knees, draping me over the couch. He slipped off and knelt behind me, parting my cheeks.

"Oh fuck." I moaned. "I really just meant finger me Harry..."

He stroked my crack slowly with his fingers and moaned as he gripped my cheeks and spread them wide. He licked my crack slowly and I moaned, melting into the couch. I sighed and couldn't help but twerk back a little into his mouth. I felt him chuckle against me and start working his tongue enthusiastically in and out of my hole, slowly, and with plenty of kisses. I moaned, feeling my muscles relax and my legs start to shake. Harry noticed and pulled away, stroking my thighs.

"That feels good, huh?"

"Don't stop." I whimpered.

"Lie down baby boy." He whispered. I laughed as I slipped off my legs and spread my legs. He caught my eye. "Baby boy still do it for you then?"

"Na. Major turn off." I said. We caught each other's eye and he looked at my almost painfully leaking dick. I laughed as he rolled his eyes and lowered his head between my thighs. I let one of my hands drift to his head as he kept lapping against my hole. He moved his head slightly to suck on my balls, and finally licked up my shaft, collecting the pre-cum that was dripping on to my stomach. "Oh fuck." I whined as his fingers brushed my ass.

He started to work me open as he sucked on my dick. I was pretty easy to loosen up these days, and he groaned as he slipped his fingers in.

"Shit, you are a slut." He said.

"Fuck me."

"I could fist you."

"You could." We looked at each other and he curled his lip.

"Do famous people get fisted?" I shrugged. "You want me to?" He whispered, starting to work three fingers in and out again. I couldn't really focus.

"No, no..." I whined.

"No?"

"I want you to fuck me."

"We can do both." I pushed him away.

"What's that saying about hotdogs and hallways?" Harry laughed and sat up to kiss me.

"Don't be daft Hugh." He held me tightly. His hard dick was nestled against mine and I felt my hips rolling to create some friction. Harry rolled his hips back against me and kissed me. "Ok." He murmured. "I guess we have all the time in the world. I can fuck you tonight, you can fuck me tomorrow and I can destroy your tight little hole on Sunday."

"Perfect." I moaned.

He positioned himself over me and I held my breath as he worked his way in. I felt my body grow limp around him and my legs wrap around his back, drawing him in. I moaned as he filled me up and he gripped my shoulders almost painfully.

"Damn Hugh. You have a tight ass for a slut."

"Hmmmph." I couldn't reply, I was entirely focussed on his dick.

We started to grind against each other gently, our hands running over each other's bodies and clasping briefly. My eyes were clenched shut.

"Hugh." Harry whispered. "Look at me." I opened my eyes and he was staring at me intensely. I couldn't look away. He started to thrust harder and my eyes rolled back in my head. "Look at me." He insisted. I whined and looked to him again. I panted, I tried to reach for him but he caught my hand.

"You don't need to move baby. You're so hot. Let me make love to you." I smiled at him and let him pin me down.

"You know I can fuck." I said. "You don't need to treat me like a precious virgin."

"Lie back, baby boy." He muttered. "I know you can fuck. But I'm fucking you right now ok? You asked for this."

"Don't use my own words against me." He laughed and wrapped his hand around my mouth to shut me up.

"That ok?" He asked. He laughed again. "Bite me if not. Otherwise shut up, slut." I didn't bite him. I moaned and whined as he drove his dick into me.

"Mmmmer." I whined behind his hand. He let me go for a second.

"You ok Hughie?"

"Harder." I replied.

Harry grunted and lifted his hips up, drilling into me harder. His dick was grazing my prostate and my ass was starting to clench around him. I reached for my dick and he batted my hand away.

"Can't... please..." I panted.

"Shhh." Harry curled his hand around my dick and matched his thrusts. His knees were shaking and his eyes started to close. I could see he was holding himself back, waiting for me. "Hugh." He whispered, and he couldn't hold back anymore.

He moaned as he came in my ass. I could feel each spurt as his cock throbbed. I moaned at the sound of him and thrust into his hand.

"Fuck yes." He sighed as I came all over our hands in thick white globs. He collapsed on top of me and kissed me roughly, his stubble tickling my face and his teeth nibbling at my lips. He wrapped his arms around me and accidentally pulled us both off the couch. We laughed as we rolled around on the floor and tried to get up.

I flinched as there was a loud tap on the window.

"Fuck." Harry laughed. "Fucking Gareth." He stood up and went to the window where the Magpie was eyeballing me. Harry pulled his shirt on and awkwardly pulled it down to cover his dick. I drew my legs up into myself as the Magpie looked between the two of us.

"Never felt judged by a bird before." I muttered. Harry ignored me and opened the window.

"You're late." He said. The magpie cooed and looked pointedly at me. Harry sighed. "Yeah I guess." He said. He pulled out a small container that was filled with bran flakes or something like that and placed it on the counter. "There you go. Christmas dinner."

"It's Christmas Eve." I corrected him. Harry grinned at me.

"Christmas came early." He said.

I watched the bird hop on the bench and slowly peck at the bowl.

"Erggh." I shuddered as he pulled out a wriggling worm. "Thought you were gonna give him turkey?"

"Shhh." Hugh said. "We pretend it's turkey. He's a wild bird, he can't eat that stuff really. Come here, you can feed him."

"Ah... I'm good." Hugh glanced at me.

"Not into creepy crawlies?"

"Not into worms." I specified, still looking dubiously at the bowl. Hugh rolled his eyes with a smile.

"They won't hurt you."

"Hmmm." Harry grinned and petted the magpie as he pulled out a few more worms. I watched the two of them bond for a bit before the magpie nodded at both of us in goodbye and took off again. I shook my head.

"You're very weird." I said. Harry shrugged.

"Better than being boring." I stood up and pressed my body into his. He glanced down at my dick. "Jesus." He said. I shrugged smugly.

"Stamina of a teenager. Annoying really." I rested my head on his shoulder. "So we could do what you had planned for tomorrow tonight... if you're game?" Harry laughed.

"Do famous people help with the washing up?" He gestured to the food. I shrugged.

"No?" He rolled his eyes and handed me some tinfoil.

"Start by wrapping up the leftovers."

——

I woke up in his arms and we looked at each other shyly.

"Morning." I said eventually.

"Merry Christmas."

"Right."

"Sorry, I forgot you hate joy." I laughed.

"I don't hate joy! Just Christmas. I'm Jewish."

"Emphasis on the ish." I laughed.

"Merry Christmas if it's important." He shrugged.

"Kinda."

"Well then." I rolled over and kissed him. "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. Maybe I can make it up to you."

"Maybe." I rolled my eyes. Don't know why he was being coy.

I buried my head in his chest and started to kiss him. I moved my mouth to his nipple and gently began to tease it with my tongue. He moaned and pressed into me, his dick pressing into my stomach. I flicked his nipples as I moved away, and kept kissing across his chest and down his stomach. I licked his abs and moaned as they contracted.

"Ok so is it mostly diet? because I don't think I can give up carbs." I glanced up at Harry. His eyes were glazed over.

"What are you... oh." He rolled his eyes. "Hugh..."

"Got it."

I returned to licking his flat, fuzzy pelvis and moaned as his dick grazed my face. I took it slowly, licking up his shaft and savouring the salty taste. He moaned and his dick throbbed as I made out with it.

"You ah... you still maybe sub slightly more?" I switched to jerking himself off with my hand and glanced up at him. Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Ah... why? You're not gonna try and dom me?"

"Why not?" Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Ummm... no offence, Hugh, but because you're a soft cunt who likes to be called baby boy?"

"I play a sadistic arsehole 5 nights a week. I can dom you."

"Hmmm." He didn't sound convinced. I grinned and sat back.

"Hands and knees."

"I'm comfortable." I slapped him hard across the face and grabbed his short hair close to the scalp.

"That wasn't a suggestion." He laughed as he looked at me.

"Ok." I tried not to laugh with him. Fucking Harry, of course he wouldn't take me seriously.

He knelt on the bed, kind of awkwardly, and I ran my hands over his body. He had to have a weak spot somewhere. He moaned as I touched him gently, relaxing slightly. I kissed his neck and he moved his head to the side, pressing his neck into me. I slowly dragged my lips up his neck and gently lapped at his ear. He whined. Hmm. I probed further, sticking my tongue deep into his ear, holding him around his torso and gently playing with his nipples. He moaned and bucked gently under my touch, his hips moving involuntarily, searching for some source of friction. I ran my hand down his back until I got to his muscled ass... and I slapped him firmly. He grunted and threw his head back.

"Shhh." I said, before he made some smart assed comment. He bit his lip and dropped his head. "Good boy." I rubbed my hand over his arse and sighed as I felt him relax under my touch. I couldn't resist. I slapped him again for good measure. He almost fell to his forearms but I held him tight.

I moved around him and slowly moved his legs wider. He moaned as I stroked his crack and gently parted his cheeks.

"Hold that slutty fucking hole open for me." He stuck his ass further in the air as he fell to his shoulders to hold himself open for me. I grinned at his acquiescence. I breathed on him, brushing my lips against him, but not quite kissing, and running my fingers up and down his thighs.

"Hugh, for fucks sake." He whined.

"What was that?" He stuck his ass further out and I chuckled. "Eager fucking whore aren't you?" He whined. "You're gonna have to beg for it Harry."

"I am, aren't I?"

"Yeah, baby."

"Hugh, please."

"What do you want?"

"Whatever the fuck you're gonna give me." I laughed and knelt between his legs. I licked up his crack.

"Like that?"

"Yes, please. That."

"What?" Harry groaned in frustration.

"Eat my fucking ass, please Hugh."

"Beg me."

"Please Hugh. Please. What do you want from me?"

"Tell me you want me to get that slutty fucking ass ready for me. Tell me you've been waiting for my dick for almost 5 years. Tell me what a good little bottom you're gonna be."

"Shit. Yes. Yes. I'm your... I'm your..." I knelt up and pulled his hair back, resting my face next to his as he grunted in pain. I breathed hot and heavy in his ear, my tongue just flicking his skin as I spoke.

"My what, Harry?"

"Slutty..."

"Yeah."

"Little..."

"Baby."

"Bottom."

"Good boy."

I let his hair go and knelt behind him again. I kissed his ass lovingly while gripping his cheeks firmly. He was thrusting back into my mouth slowly as I worked him open with my mouth, my fingers...

"Hugh please fuck me. Please."

"You ready for me?"

"Stop teasing me, fuck me Hugh, I'm begging you." I knelt up and paused.

"Just a sec Harry."

"Hugh!!" I kissed his head.

"Condoms." I reminded him.

"Fine." He grumbled.

I returned and he was fingering himself, his ass up and his head resting on the pillows. I watched him, taking in his tense muscles and his soft grunting. He blinked and swore as he saw me.

"Asshole!" I grinned and returned behind him, pulling him back to his hands and knees.

"Ass out. Head up. Arch your back."

"Yes, sir." I grinned as he glanced over his shoulder. "Sir?" He checked.

"Not as creative as Chef but it works for me."

I slowly worked my way into Harry, moaning in utter bliss. My hands clutched his ass and I paused as I bottomed out.

"Hugh, Hugh, Hugh..." He panted. "Oh fuck. Fuck me. Fuck me hard. Fucking ruin me." I laughed and held his waist.

"Be patient." He tried to move against me and I struck his back. He cried out and writhed on my dick in pain. "I said be patient, slut. You'll hurt yourself, you know that."

"Don't care."

"I do. I want to fuck this ass for a long time." He chuckled weakly.

"Ok. I'll be patient, sir."

"Good boy." I reached for his hair and ran my fingers through it.

He moaned as I waited for him, slowly starting to jerk his hips in spite of himself. I started to meet his thrusts and we found ourselves moving in time with each other. I held his back arched and I could feel him getting weak underneath me. Harry whined and fell off his arms entirely, and I had to prop his ass up as I pounded him. He snaked one hand between his thighs but he didn't jerk off, he just held his cock and moaned. I couldn't last, I could feel the familiar clenching and heat rising.

"Harry..."

"Oh, yes, yes..." Harry went totally limp below me and I could feel his ass spasm. I immediately reached for his dick, just so I could feel his cum. It was still warm and his dick was still throbbing. I moaned and thrust deep inside him, feeling my own release explode.

I held him and collapsed onto the bed. He wriggled a bit so he was tucked under my arm, looking up at me.

"Was that ok?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"So-so." He sat up as he saw my expression. "Idiot. Joking."

"Hmmm."

"Why, not good for you?"

"It's just..." I shrugged and turned around, pressing my back into him. He wasn't having a bar of that.

"Just what?" He climbed on top of me and pinned me down.

"I don't top very often." I blushed.

Harry's face cracked into a grin and he held my face.

"Good actor." He said. "Always said so." I must have still looked unconvinced. "Did you not like it?" He said. "That's ok..."

"No, no. I loved it." I sighed. "I just don't want you to put up with shit sex." Harry laughed. He didn't even bother to reply. He just got out of bed and threw a robe at me.

"Come on."

Breakfast was croissants and strawberries and real champagne. The day was pretty bleak but I'd never cared about Christmas. I just liked Harry in my arms, looking at me the way he always had, with a sweet smile. He made me go for a drive with him and we stopped at an empty bit of coast around Scorching Bay.

We wandered down to the beach and dared each other to get in the freezing water. We laughed at each other as we both stubbornly got our heads under and tangled with each other under the waves. He touched my face, his hands were warm against me and he winced.

"Ok, you're about to get hypothermia." He said, lifting me out of the water.

I noticed a figure on the beach as I laughed and wriggled in his arms. Crap. They had a camera.

"You're ok with being in Women's Day right?" I muttered. I wasn't really famous, but I was famous enough that I could be in a Christmas beach photo compilation. Harry jerked his head up.

"Wow." He laughed. "Paparazzi huh?"

"Don't stress, I'm not exactly front page news." I waved at the photographer and Harry flipped him off to my chagrin. "He's just doing his job!" I chastised. Harry raised his eyebrows as he deposited me next to his car and pulled a towel out.

"Are you out?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I'm not in." Harry insisted on rubbing the towel over me. "Believe me they'll run with a 'bro's before ho's for Hugh this year' kind of spin. You've seen how much gal pal stuff they put out there."