All Comments on 'His Ch. 01'

Amazing. Please continue, the end game should be amazing.

Oh, god, fuck, it's so good. More chapters would be wonderful, please.

yes it would be nice to take this further with more punishment and denial look forward to more in this story

Wow, this was beautiful and evocative, and also low-key romantic? I need more chapters asap!

Wow

Looking forward to chapter 2 - story well told, held just enough anticipation for what is to come without it feeling 'too clever' - good stuff and I like your writing style.

This was excellent. Without having to have everything in the first chapter.

Only two non-capitalizations that I saw, and nothing else.

I was confused, though, as to whose house it was.

Other than that... fantastic!

Pozzy Thump

And Just..like...that...You find a new level of WOW!!! More..please..take it further..please...take more...expect more...know more...please.

I like how You've taken Your poetry and expanded it, used it as a spring board.

Wow...I can't wait to see where You go from here.

The smut part was fine. These characters might have been more interesting and human if you had given them names. She did this. He said that. She... he... she...he.

Ohhhh Mayday you have struck erotica gold with this one. Your poetic background and innate primal edge makes this a wonderful read. Leaving your reader wanting more! FIVE SEXY STARS! ☆☆☆☆☆

Oh I like this very much. Apha primal hero, painslutish heroine? So perfect. I'm going to be looking forward to the next chapter with an-tic-ip-ation.

I loved this and went to read The Collar as well. Please continue i would love to see where this dynamic takes them

Wow!

Excellent erotic tension…mystery, anticipation, and awe….

Your poetic edginess translates well into prose.

More, please….

I don't even know where to begin. You could teach a masterclass in effective seduction, sex and emotional evocation. As always beautifully written, and the use of Captial "Him" and lowercase "her" added to the Dom/Sub. I think everyone who's read or reads this wants more. Thanks for making me want to be a better writer.

Genuinely grateful for the feedback. Fuel on my fire. Chapter 2 is now done and I’ll submit it after a few more re-reads to tighten it up. Please note that Chapter 2 will be submitted in the BDSM category (where, as several of you correctly pointed out in private feedback, this Chapter should have been submitted).

MP

Beautifully written. Very sexy. Please continue.

Thanks,

Alan

Very good start! Please continue.

This is literally the best story on here I've read in years! A Dream......

Your masterful writing draws the reader into this rugged, noir-like scene, all senses heightened, like Katherine's. The slow-burn and sexual tension are exquisite!

Outstanding. You weave an intoxicating scene, more please.

So erotic, looking forward to more!

Incredibly erotic and so well written. One of the best stories on Literotica 5* Thank you for writing