History Lesson

My face froze, and my heart clenched. As nonchalantly as I could, which wasn't very, I replied, "Oh? Well, that's wonderful. You deserve to have some fun."

"Are you okay?" she asked, still quietly.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I replied, trying desperately not to sound petulant.

"Oh, well, no reason..."

Getting up and pushing past her into the living room, I said, "Just the three of us this evening, then," looking at Hank and Coral.

In a subdued voice, she said, "I can ask Alyssa to watch Coral, if..."

"Nonsense. Why pay a sitter, if I'm right here?" My voice sounded stiff, even to me.

"Well, in case... I don't know, in case you wanted to go out, or..." She still wasn't looking at me.

"No. I'm not going... out. I am happy to watch Coral. We shall play chess, and perhaps she will let me win this time." I tickled her, and she blew a raspberry at me. "Or perhaps not."

Jenny didn't even crack a smile. "Okay, well, if you're sure. Thank you." With that, she headed to her room.

I didn't think I could stand seeing her leave the house dressed up for someone else. So, when it was getting close to the time she had planned to go, I tapped, then spoke through her door, "I'm just going to take Coral and Hank for a stroll. Have fun."

I heard, "Ieuan, wait!" but I ignored her.

Later, after I was in bed, I heard the truck in the drive. I was selfishly pleased to see that it was barely half past eleven. I heard the door, then her greeting Hank. I thought I might have heard her pause briefly outside my door, but I probably imagined it.

The next morning, I resolved to be supportive, no matter what. I made her favorite breakfast, by way of apology for being childish the night before. I was just finishing up the last touches when she came in.

Coral was already in her high chair, and Jenny picked her up for morning snuggles and kisses. Once she was settled, I slid a plate in front of her.

"Oh, Ieuan, you didn't have to go to all this effort!"

"No trouble. I realized I was a bit of a prat last night, and this is my apology."

"Uhh, what's a prat?"

"Umm. You are looking at the very definition." I threw my arms out wide. "An idiot, basically. I was jealous and rude. And I'm sorry. How did it go, by the way?" I hadn't meant to let slip the "j" word. Damn it.

"Oh, well, it was fine. But I'd be surprised if she calls me again though."

"Really? Why forever not? Do I need to speak to her?" I planted my hands on my hips.

Again, nary a hint of a smile. "Uh... no. I don't think that would be very helpful, actually. I think maybe I talked a little too much about you and Coral. I was a bit nervous, and..."

More gently, "I really am sorry, Jen."

She sighed. "It's okay." Then she grinned. "If I get strawberry French Toast out of it every time, I need to go on more lousy dates!" I knew she was kidding but... more dates? Ouch. My face went stiff again, but I turned away before she could see.

><><><><><

October

And she did go out, with three different women over the next month and a half. Two of them were unsuccessful, but my heart broke a little more when the last turned into a second date, and then a third. Things were getting pretty unbearable, and I knew I'd have to make a decision.

But then, after her third date with... and I realized I didn't even know her name... Jenny came home pretty early again, and I could tell something was off. I heard her stomping in, and the door slammed. Then I heard her speak to Hank. He must have calmed her, at least a little. She surprised me by knocking on my door. "Ieuan, can I please talk to you?"

I was in my boxers, but I jumped out of bed and opened the door. I could see tears of anger streaking her face. I don't think she noticed my state of undress.

"Of course, what's wrong?"

She trudged in and sat on the edge of my bed. "Fucking bitch," she whispered.

I was shocked. I don't think I had ever heard Jenny use that word.

I put my arm around her, and she leaned against me.

"Tell me," I coaxed.

"This girl, Taylor. I thought she liked me! We had two very nice dates. Dinner, chatting, a nice kiss goodnight after the second one... she wanted more but I said I wasn't ready."

I closed my eyes.

"Then tonight... oh my god. She said to me... she said... 'Tonight's the night, right babes?' She sounded so much like Sheila that I got chills. And not the good kind.

"I said, 'Excuse me?' And she says 'Third date, babes!' And she just stared at me with this shit-eating grin on her face! I was mortified!

"I told her, 'I don't care if it's the 30^th date, not til I'm good and ready,' and she threw her hands up and said, 'Oh my god, not another prissy little tease.' And she just got up and left!" Jenny started to cry.

"What's wrong with me?" She turned to me and rested her head on my shoulder, her face against my neck.

I put my arms around her. "Not a thing. You're perfect," I murmured.

She snorted.

"Hey, did you just get snot on me?"

She giggled. "No... maybe..."

"Eww!"

She continued to giggle, and flopped down on my bed. She looked at me, smiling.

"Umm... Ieuan? You're naked."

"Am not! Boxers, see?" But I grabbed a T-shirt and slipped it on. "Better?"

"Umm..."

"Would you like a back rub? Might help you forget Miss Third Date."

She put her hands over her face, but she was smiling.

"That sounds very nice, actually. But I think I'm just going to take a hot shower, hug Coral, and go to sleep. See you in the morning." She held her hand out to me, and I pulled her upright.

"Thank you, Ieuan. You're my rock. Fy carreg." She kissed me on the cheek, said goodnight, and left my room, pulling the door shut behind her.

><><><><><

Chapter 13

November

"I'm off to the airport!" I shouted. Back in time for turkey, with a bit of luck..." It was the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and hopefully... Jen laughed, speaking my fears aloud.

"I hope traffic isn't too awful!"

"You and me both. Ideally, we'll be back in time for dinner."

I was headed to pick up Beca and Linnet. Sadly, Arthur couldn't make it. But it meant that they could stay with Jenny and me; I just had to suffer through sleeping on an air mattress in my office, while they shared my room. Not a hardship, not at all, if it meant having them close.

Thankfully, minor miracles. Traffic was light and their flight was on time.

As I waited, I heard a scream. "Uncle Ieuan!" I turned just in time to see a stampeding Linnet launch herself at me.

"Oof! Linnet, my girl! Wow, look at you! How you've grown!" It was true. She had sprouted up several inches since last I saw her.

"You said that last time!" she snarked.

"Well, it was true last time too! Look at you!" I spun her around.

Her mother, who had followed a bit more sedately, nodded. "I'm buying new clothes every week, it seems."

I gave my sister a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Well, it's wonderful that you're here. I'm sad that Arthur couldn't make it."

"He is too. But it's not a holiday at home, and you know how his schedule can be."

I nodded. "Well, let's get on the road. Traffic can be... difficult. I can't wait for you to meet everyone."

Linnet nodded excitedly.

><><><><><

We got lucky with traffic again and did make it home before Christmas. Kidding. We pulled into the driveway before dark, and Jenny must have heard the truck, because she came out to stand on the front porch, holding Coral, a tentative smile on her face. Hank sat patiently beside her.

It looked so wonderfully domestic, that I had to stop and gather myself. Becca was watching me, and with a gentle nudge and a whispered, "I told you so," coaxed me into the introductions.

"Sorry! Umm, Beca, Linnet; this is Jenny, and Coraline, and Hank."

Linnet said, "I love that book!" and Jenny smiled. "We call her Coral, but I love it too." She tried to shake hands, but Beca would have none of it. She took Coral from Jenny, bussed her on the forehead, and handed her to me. Then she pulled Jenny into a firm hug.

"It is so lovely to meet you," she smiled. Then she turned back to Coral. Taking her back from me, she chucked her under that chin, saying, "Aren't you a treasure?"

Coral goggled at her, wide-eyed.

Meanwhile, Linnet got her own hug from Jenny, and then petted Hank. He gave her a doggie grin and lifted a paw. Just like that, they were friends.

We went inside, and Jenny whispered, "They're lovely. Your sister is wonderful, I can tell."

"She is a bit of a force of nature," I said smiling.

><><><><><

I ordered some pizza for everyone. After their flight, Beca and Linnet just wanted to relax and who could blame them? It was a bit chilly, so we sat in the living room with a fire going and chatted.

Linnet was fascinated by Coral and held her as much as she could. Monitored closely by Hank, of course. He had appointed himself her protector, but I could tell he was already getting soft on my niece as well.

However, after the long day, and with a tummy full of takeaway pizza, she was soon nodding. Beca took Coral, and I scooped Linnet up and laid her on my bed. Kissing her on her forehead, I wished her goodnight. "So glad you're here, sweetheart."

"Love you, Uncle Yaya," she mumbled, and was out.

Jenny was next to bed. She took Coral from Beca and gave my sister a long hug. "I'm so happy you both could come!" She smiled at me, wishing me goodnight as well.

That left the two of us sitting on the sofa.

Beca sighed and looked at me. I knew that look and waited.

"Tell me," she ordered.

"She's dating," I whispered.

Beca nodded. "I thought it might be something like that."

"How..." I started.

"Well, you seemed to be doing much better after her ex disappeared, but now I can tell you're miserable again. You never did talk to her like I told you, did you?"

I shook my head. "How could I? 'Oh, Jenny, by the way, I know you're gay, but I have feelings for you?' I couldn't, Beca."

"Well, I can tell she's not exactly walking on air either."

"Her last date was pretty disastrous; that may be why."

"It's more than that. I see how she glances at you when she knows you're not looking. I know that look. You're both frustrated, wanting something that the other, in fact, wants to give but neither of you knowing how to ask. There's a way through this impasse, dear brother, just give me a little time to figure it out."

I just stared at her.

She pushed herself up, then leaned over and gave me a hug. "I'm suddenly exhausted. Too tired to make sense, at any rate. We'll talk more, all right? Good night, Ieuan. It's lovely to be here."

"Nos da, chwaer."

><><><><><

We all slept in the next morning. Well, everyone except Coral. From my mattress, I heard Jenny come trudging into the kitchen, singing softly to her daughter. I got up and took her.

"I've got her, Jen. Go back to sleep."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely." I gave her a hug, which she returned. "Mmm, I needed that," she whispered. And she sleepily stumbled her way back to her bed.

Hank joined me, and I gave him his breakfast, then sat at the kitchen table, feeding Coral. Hank whined, and I told him I couldn't walk him just yet, but I let him out into the backyard.

I started water for tea, then began collecting the makings for an English breakfast. Something new for Jenny, something comforting for Beca and Linnet.

I pulled out eggs, bacon, sausages, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, butter, and toast. And marmalade. Linnet loved marmalade on her toast. Coral watched everything with keen interest. I gave her some small pieces of toast to demolish, but she seemed to have more fun dropping them off the side of her high chair for Hank to snatch. She would giggle, and he would look at her expectantly, tongue lolling, awaiting the next tidbit.

I shook my head at the pair of them, hands on hips.

"Coral, please don't feed the dog. Hank, don't encourage her," I said in mock exasperation.

I heard a soft laugh from the hall, and turned to see Jenny leaning against the doorjamb, smiling tenderly at the domestic scene before her.

I just reacted. I held out one arm, and she came to me for another hug. She had showered, and I inhaled the scent of her shampoo.

"Did you just smell my hair?" she asked.

"I did," I confessed. "It's lovely."

"Oh, okay. Just checking."

"Jenny? I..." my heart was suddenly pounding, but before I could continue, Linnet popped into the kitchen. Reluctantly, I released Jenny and greeted my niece.

"Sleep well, my darling?" I asked.

"Oh yes, thanks, Uncle. Mummy and I both did. Now that Jenny is finished, she's just having her shower."

"Brilliant. Now, my favorite niece, could I ask of you a Very Great Favor?"

She eyed me suspiciously.

"Could you please take Hank for a walk while I finish breakfast?"

Her wariness vanished, and she clapped. "Oh, yes please!"

"Hang on a moment. There's just one issue that you may not have been aware of. In the interest of full disclosure, I shall reveal it now," I said in my professor voice. And I held up the poop bag.

"What's THAT?" she demanded.

I explained its purpose, showing her how to turn the bag inside out over her hand, like a glove.

"Eww!"

"I know, but imagine some poor sod finding it later on his shoe."

"EWWW!"

"Exactly."

"Oh, all right, if I must."

Hank looked embarrassed.

I told her where she should walk, and to be back in about ten minutes. Jenny was grinning throughout our exchange.

"You love her so much," she smiled.

"Like the dickens," I admitted. "Since she was no bigger than YOU, my little..." I looked more closely at Coral. "How did you manage to get toast in your ear? My goodness!"

I lifted out of her high chair and gave her to Jenny. "Yours!" I laughed, and turned back to the stove.

"Coward." Jenny grabbed a paper towel, dampened it in the sink, and sat back down at the table, Coral wriggling in her lap, trying to escape the wiping wetness.

Beca joined us at that moment, and chuckled.

"Ieuan used to like to wear his breakfast, too," she grinned.

"How could you possibly remember... oes oes, the sausages." I grabbed for the skillet. Deciding to take the high road, I concentrated on cooking, as Jenny and Beca chatted quietly.

Right on time, Linnet returned with Hank. "What shall I do with this?" she asked, holding the small bag at arm's length, one corner pinched between two fingers.

"Na, na! Not in here!" I guffawed. "Outside, the green bin!" She retreated momentarily, then returned, empty-handed.

"Except for the pooping, that was wonderful, Uncle Ieuan. Mummy, may we please have a dog when we get back home?"

"Ask your father," Beca replied immediately. I smiled and winked at Jenny.

"Go wash up, stinky," I told Linnet. "Breakfast is ready."

"I am not!" she protested. But she went. I began sliding food onto plates, while Beca explained the concept of a 'Full English' to Jenny.

I laughed, watching Coral eat baked beans with her fingers, one at a time, with a perplexed expression on her face.

I looked over at Jenny, smiling, and she smirked at me. "The next diaper is all yours, mister."

My smile disappeared.

After breakfast, we talked about what we might do. "Well, it's Monday... and we need to do some grocery shopping. Today might be best, you can rest up a little more from your flight, and maybe we can head downtown to explore a little, this afternoon?"

Beca looked thoughtful. "Why don't Jenny and I take care of the shopping? You and Linnet can watch Coral and spend some time together.

"Let me just get my coat." Linnet followed her mother into my room and closed the door.

><><><><><

Chapter 14

Returning from the grocery store, they pulled into the drive, and Jenny turned off the engine. She was about to get out of the truck when Beca put her hand on Jenny's.

"Stay a moment, would you?"

Jenny looked at her questioningly. "Sure?"

Beca took a breath. "All right then, unto the breach," she whispered. She looked at Jenny.

"Lass, please forgive me for asking, but... are you sure you're gay?"

Jenny gaped at her. She started to say something, then stopped. Took a breath, as if to start again, then paused.

Finally, she looked at Beca. "Truth? Because I feel for some weird reason, although I barely know you, that I can trust you..." she was starting to babble.

Beca smiled gently. "I'm starting to see why Ieuan... never mind, that's not for me to say. Just know that I love my brother very much, and I promise that I'll never do anything to hurt him. And I know you are very important to him, so I'll never hurt you either."

She paused for a moment, thinking. "It's just, I've seen you two together now for a little while, and I hear how he talks about you when he rings me, and I can see there's something there. Something that I think you're both trying to hide? No, that's not the right word. You're trying to... well, protect each other from, is as close as I can explain it? I know Ieuan cares deeply for you. It's obvious just from the things he's done for you." Beca reached out and held one of Jenny's hands in both of hers.

"But there are a couple of things you should probably know. You may already, but perhaps haven't really thought about. First, you know about Olivia?" Jenny nodded.

"And the baby?"

She nodded again.

"Well, I'm sure you know he still misses them terribly, but I don't know if you're aware of how much he blames himself for their deaths."

Jenny stared at Beca, wide-eyed. "He told me the story, and it broke my heart! He did tell me he felt responsible. But... once I found out, I went online and read about the accident..." she reddened a little at this admission, "and everyone said it was not his fault at all; it was completely that drunk bastard that-"

"Yes, and that's all true," Beca gave Jenny's hand a gentle squeeze, "but that doesn't take away his guilt, unfounded as it may be. Since that day, he has been a different person. He doesn't open up anymore. He makes a good show of it for Linnet and me, but I can tell. He's different. But now...

"What I'm trying to say, and saying it badly, is that even with all that guilt that he's been fighting for so long, he has begun showing signs of the Ieuan I used to know.

"You did that, Jenny my girl, you. It's plain to me, and Linnet too, that you've brought some color back into his world.

"But my brother is too honorable by half. If he has feelings for you, and I'm certain he does, he will never say or do anything about them. Because of who he thinks you are."

Again, Jenny stared at Beca.

"So that's why I asked, are you sure that's who you are? Because if maybe you just think you are, someone you've convinced yourself that you are, then do you owe it to yourself to find out?"

Jenny's lip started to tremble, and a tear slid down one cheek.

"Ieuan says you've tried to date, but have never seen anyone more than twice." Jenny took a deep breath and tried to pull herself together, not sure why she was crying. But at Beca's implied question, she nodded.

"Why is that, d'ye think?" Beca prodded gently.

"Dunno, just didn't click. And it wasn't like I was looking... a few girls asked, and I felt like I needed to give myself a chance, but..." she tapered off.

Beca smiled, not pursuing that line of questioning.

Instead, she asked, "Does Ieuan date?"

Jenny looked startled.

"I mean, that you know of, since you met him?" Beca continued.

"Of course..." Jenny started, but then she stopped to think. Had he? As she thought back, she couldn't remember him ever mentioning anyone he might have been interested in, especially since she'd moved in. Of course, he went out, but he always let her know where he was going, what he was doing, and when he'd be back. But it was always going out to work on his car, going for a run with Hank, playing racquetball with one of the other professors that he was friendly with. Never had one of those reasons been for a date. She stared wide-eyed at Beca.