All Comments on 'Holiday with the Family'

Great story! I cumed on my own just reading it. Know im all wet....Hope this was a true story!

wow what a fantastic very erotic story.

holiday with the family was awesome . i hope there more to cum . after reading this i now want to read the other story , i can see ill enjoy this one as well. if this story is anything to go bye. keep them cumming

Waste is something that gets thrown into the garbage.

I laughed hysterically when you wrote she laughed historically.

Your stories are not bad but stupid errors like that make you seem a 14 year old illiterate wanker.

Proofread.Proofread. Proofread.

Ooh god this was a hot one!!You are one of my favorite authors on this site and I think this was the Best "Family" story you wrote....Words cannot describe how I liked this one,it was so vivid and so hot I kept stopping from jacking off to prolong the kinkiness of your story,then started to really pump it slow to fast wishing I was a fly on the wall in that household!! Ooh god was that a true story!! Please submit more....like part 2! Ooh wow I'm gonna read it again...Thank You....

this was way to RUSHED no guy that suddenly finds his parents and sister run around the house nude is going to just accept it. slow down after talking to the sister he should say he wants to go to a motel for the night to think. this is not something you just jump into family nudity and sex is a BIG step and takes time to work out the details in your mind. all in all a total waste of time.

It's good for a FIRST DRAFT, not nearly ready for publication.

After writing a story, set it aside for a day or two, then critically reread it, checking for typos, misspellings correct tense (don't jump between past, present and/or future tenses) and homophones ( Words that have sound the same, but have more than one correct spelling- each with a different meaning. E.g. waste [trash] and waist [where you wear a belt]).

If needed, use the free editing servive availoable from Literotica.

I'm not nitpicking. An error filled story is distracting, and can cause a reader to abandon it before finishing.

Well that was different, heh.

a house full of very SICK people!

the ending was weak. You should have at least one more page telling where all this was going. Obviously the four are going to fuck pretty freely. But will Lance go back to the west coast knowing what he's missing? Will he transfer to the same school Trina is attending? Need more...not a sequel, this story is fine by itself, but it needed a better ending.

it was very sexy - but too short.

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