All Comments on 'Hollywood's Fallen Angels: Sandy 02'

I am puzzled why you wrote such a long introduction, repeating material in the first chapter. You had already set the stage in the first chapter for the long corridor walk. You did clarify to me that Sandy was sexually abused - by an uncle, not a step-fathrr - but for character development, which was your stated goal, we do not know the emotional impact it had on her and how shecoped to be able to transition to a late teens sex life. There seem to be some inconsistencies in this chapter. Ted and Emily are essentially running a Mom and Pop business , but have a huge, elaborate,facility with expensive equipment, which doesn't square with the initial impression of a sleazy photographer when he first appeared at the beach. I found the phrase " she doth protedted too much," appropriate. Of course she knew the photos would be widely distributed. Why was that a sudden cause for concern? The masturbation scene in my mind was over the top. Too fast a pace for someone who spent so much time fretting about posing in the first place and then posing naked.. It should have been reserved for the next chapter, but that's debatable and many may find the pacing to be logical. I question Emily's offering her a line of coke. In 1980, that was probably not so freely available to just anyone and I doubt a young girl from Oklahoma was even familiar with the term. Marijuana use by teens in Oklahoma probably was not all that common there either but plausible in California. I have no idea what porn studios offer performers to calm their nerves, but would a unknown young girl fresh off the street be offered any drugs? It sounds iffy to me, but I could be needlessly skeptical. Those are my thoughts. Overall, the storyline is novel. The prose is crystal clear and the explicit scenes are hot. I look forward to reading more chapters.

Thank you (again) Ma8grets3weaknesses for your feedback, I appreciate it. The intro I use was based on my finding that often when searching for a type of story a 2nd, 3rd or 4th chapter will sometimes appear without the first chapter. But I think that's good feedback and I could probably in future chapters keep the intro to just a few sentences.

Yes, I didn't get a chance to fix the stepfather error in the intro as I had submitted both chapters for publishing at the same time. Future intros will fix that, thanks for the reminder!

Ted & Em will I think surprise you in future chapters, they may not be as 'mom and pop' as Sandy is led to believe (consider the expensive cars parked out front of their studio). They are representative of the explosion of porn studios that grew to become mainstream in the early to mid 1980s in the Valley.

Having lived through the 80s in L.A. I can assure you pot and especially coke were everywhere, there are many examples in the media of the time (and later) describing parties where trays of coke were provided by the hosts for the guests. Ditto pot in Oklahoma in the 80s, there was plenty to go around.

Your are correct that offering drugs to fresh new models, and especially Champagne, would not have been something porn photo studios would normally do right at the start, but I felt it helped the story with why Sandy might actually go beyond what she would normally do in terms of modeling, and it is a work of fiction after all. Not everything in this story will be true to life. Thanks again for your thoughts and keep them coming! :)

I dont read a lot of stories that I want more of this is one of the few! Well done I cannot wait to read the next chapter.

Thank you Anonymous, I appreciate the kind words and am glad you want more of the story. It's always so gratifying to hear that people appreciate my work. As an author you always wonder if anyone will like the story you work so hard on. I'm glad to hear you and a few others are enjoying the Hollywood's Fallen Angels series. Thanks again, your feedback means a lot to me.