Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 101

"This feels like something you all should have mentioned." Mike glared at Wallace.

"I ain't afraid of no ghosts." Wallace winked at Leilani and wandered off whistling the Ghostbusters theme.

"He is a disgusting man." The princess frowned at the knight. "I wish we didn't have to tolerate his presence."

"What did he do?" Mike was insanely curious, but was interrupted when Captain Francois came up behind Leilani and handed her a bag.

"This is your pack," he declared, his voice kind. He showed her how to loop it around her shoulders as the princess eagerly inspected the nylon straps. When Francois' attention shifted to Mike, his features hardened.

"I assume one of your women will be carrying yours?"

Mike shook his head. "You are incorrect. I'm used to carrying my own weight."

"We'll see, Caretaker. I must admit I was shocked to learn that the Caretaker was a man. I guess that means Hestia is becoming desperate."

"You know about Hestia?" This fact surprised Mike.

"I do. And the fact that you heard me speak her name tells me you've Awakened." The Captain grinned. "I believe you may be the first Caretaker to accomplish this in a century."

"Awakened?" Mike shook his head. "What does that mean?"

The Captain laughed and walked away with Leilani close behind. They moved to a row of black vans that waited for them up by the road. A couple of men from the Order took their bags and stashed them in the trunk.

"What an asshole." Mike sighed. "Seems like this trip is full of them."

Ratu nodded her agreement, then squeezed his arm when Ingrid approached.

"You ready?" she asked, then looked at Ratu. "I'm just borrowing him for a minute."

The naga nodded and turned her attention to the beach. Quetzalli had crouched down in the sand and was poking something with a stick. The naga wandered over to see what she was doing as Ingrid led Mike up the main road.

He turned back and gazed across the water for a moment before jogging to catch up to the mage. "So what's the deal?" he asked. "You're being very mysterious, you know."

She ignored him, her eyes scanning their surroundings. Eventually she settled on a small group of tourists who had set up an early luncheon at one of the picnic tables. There were about six of them, four women and two men.

"There's a resort near here, very secluded," Ingrid explained, then gestured toward the table. "Tourists love to come here and just watch the water. Anyway, I want you to walk past them. Don't use any of your weird sex magic or anything, just let them get a good look at your face."

Though the request was strange, Mike complied. He casually strolled about thirty feet away, keeping his gaze mostly toward the water. The waves were curling over each other to splash onto the shoreline, scattering a mess of sticks that had washed up recently. It very much reminded him of the Dreamscape.

A woman screamed, causing Mike to trip. Spinning in place, he saw that the tourists were standing as a group while one woman pointed at him as she hopped up and down.

"Holy shit, it's you. It's you!" She ran his direction, freezing him in place. He didn't sense any danger, and nearly laughed when her floppy hat fell off her head and landed in the dirt behind her.

"Uh, yeah, it's... me?" The group congregated around him, eyes wide and in awe.

"Oh my god, I can't believe we're meeting... meeting..." One of the guys was snapping his fingers, as if the sound would somehow trigger the answer.

"I love all your movies," gushed one of the other women. "Can I get your autograph?"

"Movies?" He looked past them at Ingrid, who stood in the distance with her arms crossed and a grin on her face.

"Shit, shit, I don't have a pen!" One of the women ran back and grabbed her beach bag and a purse from the table. When she returned, she started handing random objects to the others until finally digging out a black and white Bic pen, which she held up like a trophy.

Mike obliged the requests for autographs, and ended up signing someone's kindle, a leg, the top of one woman's boob, and some other random knick-knacks. They had him pose for pictures with them, all smiling in delight as he indulged their bizarre requests for poses. One of the men had Mike hold him as if the man had swooned, and everyone joked about how it was the perfect romance.

He finally extricated himself from the group with the excuse that his manager needed him, then jogged back over to Ingrid. The woman was smug as she waved at the group, then grabbed Mike by the hand and led him back to the pier.

"So who did they think you were?" she asked.

"I have no clue," he replied, realizing he still had the woman's pen tucked in his pocket. He would have taken it back, but didn't want to get caught up again. "What was that about?"

"You really don't know, do you?" She rolled her eyes. "It's probably the nymph magic in your blood. You are supernaturally gorgeous, and I don't use that term lightly. I thought maybe it was just something you kept doing, but I've watched you for days now. Even when distracted, there's this aura of desire that is frankly a little disturbing. You just feel like someone I want to be around, hang on all of your words, be your best friend, maybe."

"But you've never acted that way." He looked back at the group. They all waved at him, so he waved back.

"I'm a professional," she replied. "We're trained to resist charms like yours, but it's difficult. No doubt they'll post those pictures of you online and nobody will be able to figure out who you are. You look familiar, and have a face that others want to trust. It's why I don't trust you, Radley. The most dangerous things in the world always seem like the most harmless."

"That's a harsh assessment," he replied. "But also totally fair."

"You seemed surprised by their reaction," she added. "When was the last time you were around ordinary people?"

"Um..." Thinking back on it, the last time he had truly been in public was the day before he had inherited his house. The few times he had left the house, it had always been with Kisa so that people couldn't see him. He was no longer human, he knew this already. But seeing how the others had treated him was more than a little mortifying.

"It's been a long time," he finally admitted.

"And that's why we won't be taking public trails. The last thing we need is people chronicling your every movement." Ingrid stopped suddenly by the public showers and restroom. "I need to go before we leave. You might want to do the same, unless that's something you don't do anymore."

He watched her go into the bathroom then moved into the men's room on the other side of the building. Realizing this was probably the last moment of privacy he would have, he stepped into one of the stalls and pulled open the waistband of his pants. Daisy emerged from hiding inside his collar and climbed up on top of his head, then stretched her arms and legs.

Natural light filtered into the bathroom from an opening in the upper wall, the rays scattering off of the crystalline decanter in his hands. It wasn't very large, but he could see where the crack had been, now properly fused shut. Inside, a swirling purple fluid sparkled in the light. As he contemplated the magical container, a pair of tiny eyes formed behind the glass.

"Why, hello there, Opal." He smiled at the slime girl in her container. It had taken Ratu almost two years to not only heal the mysterious ooze, but to fix her core. Now capable of squeezing entirely into her vessel, Opal was able to go anywhere that her decanter would fit. "You ready for an adventure?"

The slime girl winked in response.

It's adventure time, everybody! We've got fairies, we've got a slime girl, and we've also got...snacks!

Thanks for dropping in and indulging this humble writer. If you're all the way down here, make sure to leave me some stars, it really does help. I've got a delicious scene next chapter involving a certain dragon girl that you certainly don't want to miss, and the shenanigans will continue as Mike explores the island and Jenny...well, let's just say that a certain cursed doll will be a force to be reckoned with in the chapters ahead.

Don't forget to give yourself a high-five, you've earned it!

~Annabelle Hawthorne