Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 108

"I will be glad to see this done." Ratu rose and wrapped her arms around one of Mike's. "I feel like we're standing on the precipice of war."

Mike's other arm was grabbed by Lily. "That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?" she asked.

The naga's eyes burned with magical flames. "My people have a gift for prophecy. Much like animals can sense the coming of an earthquake, my kind often sense the coming of great change. The only thing you ever sensed coming was--"

"Enough." Mike looked at Lily first. "She's entitled to her feelings just as you are. Stop antagonizing her."

The succubus stuck out her tongue.

"As for you..." He looked at Ratu. Her gaze was defiant. In her own way, she was like a queen. Regal and unrepentant. "I trust your wisdom, but you shouldn't let Lily get under your scales like this. I'm half convinced she's trying to make you mad enough that you'll swallow her."

Ratu actually snorted, her serpentine eyes settling on Lily. "Is this true, demon? Are you hoping to explore a new kink?"

Lily took a step back, caught off guard by the naga's change in demeanor. "Hey, look, I was just saying those things to fuck around with Romeo a bit. Getting swallowed whole sounds like fun, but is boring as fuck for hours afterward. And gross."

"Hmm." Ratu licked her lips. "Too bad. I really would have enjoyed eating you."

Mike held back a laugh and guided the two of them toward the laundry room. Lily seemed more than a little shy around the naga, a fact which Mike pointed out after Ratu stepped through the portal back to Hawaii.

"Why the sudden apprehension?" Mike asked Lily before the succubus went through the portal. Lily paused for a moment before looking back at him.

"You think I'm suddenly scared of her?" she asked. "Have you seen how long her tongue gets? If she'll stay in human form, I'm more afraid that she won't eat me now!"

"Of course." Shaking his head, Mike followed Lily back through the portal.

Cyrus had his eyes closed, but felt a heavy presence watching over him. He was lying on a cot that had been set up outside and behind the command tent. With the addition of new troops this morning, it was essentially standing-room-only inside, but he and a few others had taken some quick cat naps on a trio of cots tucked beneath a canopy. Even fully clothed, he was covered by two thick blankets to maintain the illusion that he was cold. In reality, it was actually quite comfortable and he wished whoever it was would kindly fuck off.

When he opened his eyes, it was to gaze upon the stern visage of the witch, Elizabeth. Her dark eyes were piercing, and perhaps a lesser man would suspect that she could somehow see all of his secrets.

However, Cyrus was not a lesser man, nor would he be intimidated by a woman who had likely sold her soul to the devil to gain power. Witches came from all walks of life, but the way the shadows shifted oddly when Elizabeth was nearby, he had to assume it was a high caliber demon who had made the deal.

"Can I help you?" he asked in his best customer service voice. He was grouchy, and it was either that or something more snappy.

"Darius wishes to speak with you." The witch studied him for a second. "By the way, I heard an interesting rumor."

"By definition, that's how rumors propagate." Cyrus yawned and sat up. He scratched at his beard and checked the time. It had been almost three hours since his teahouse meeting, and two of those had been spent asleep. His earpiece was tucked away in one of his pockets, and he didn't have a way to stick it in without raising questions. "Are we moving on the fountain?"

"Not quite yet. We're waiting on word from your Director." Elizabeth stepped back to give him room to rise. Though it was cold enough that Cyrus' every breath created a cloud of fog, the witch's somehow didn't. He found that an interesting use of magic. "Is it true you had a run-in with a succubus before you retired?"

Cyrus nodded. "It is. She's the main reason I retired in the first place." It occurred to him that the witch probably had a way to tell if he was being truthful. He would have to be careful with his words. "My last official mission with the Order got complicated pretty quick. A lot of good people died. Other than myself, only one other person made it back. The succubus saved us from dying, if you can imagine such a thing. The higher-ups feared this was proof I had been compromised, which led to a dilution of duties, and ultimately to the decision to hang up my wand, as it were."

"Were you compromised, though?" A thin smile appeared on Elizabeth's face. "I, too, find it hard to believe that you survived a succubus attack."

"I was." The witch was either testing him or getting ready to manipulate him. He was more than a little curious which it was. "If I'm being honest with you, how I was treated afterward changed how I saw the organization. It's hard having something you've dedicated your entire life to get pulled out from under your feet. My legacy had been tainted by things I had no control over. I wasn't Master Cyrus anymore, not really. I was now the old guy who was probably feeding secrets to the demon who sucked him off in bed every night." Cyrus cleared his throat and stared past Elizabeth, the pain of his final days suddenly fresh in his head. "It was hard to admit then, but I can admit it now. The experience of losing my place in the Order changed me, changed how I saw things. So yeah, I compromised myself, questioned a lot of my choices."

"I see." It clearly wasn't the answer Elizabeth expected. Strangely, this seemed to please her.

"When I got pulled into this mess, I was surprised they even considered me. There have been some...changes in the Order as of late, so I chalk it up to desperate times and measures." Cyrus started walking toward the tent. "The fact that you're hearing this rumor means someone brought it up. Even now, I can't escape what other people think."

"Did you know that a succubus was rumored to be on these grounds?" It sounded like a harmless question, but immediately had Cyrus on edge. The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up. "Maybe even the same one you faced in Hawaii."

"I don't remember seeing any mention of her in the files." He tried to keep the tremor from his voice. Had he been found out?

"You clearly haven't been told everything." Elizabeth smirked. "If you were to learn that the succubus that ruined your life does, in fact, belong to Mike Radley, what would you do with this knowledge?"

They were at the entrance to the command center now. Two members of the SoS stepped aside to allow them entry. Cyrus hesitated at the flap, then turned to face the witch.

"I would do what I came here to do." He patted the spot on his hip where a wand was holstered. "Make things right again."

When the flap opened, it revealed several members of the SoS. Only a couple members of the Order were inside, a pair of mages who were hastily digging through plastic crates that had been stacked shoulder high in places. As far as he could tell, they were almost entirely packed with MREs. One of the mages had broken into a cold sweat, his eyes furtively glancing up at Darius from his clipboard every few seconds.

"What's this about?" asked Cyrus, stopping to examine the pre-packaged meals.

The man with the clipboard looked relieved to see him. "The storehouse was supposed to send out cold weather gear," he explained. "But they sent us food instead."

"That sounds like a pretty big mistake." Cyrus knelt down and grabbed one of the packages. "Is there any chili mac in there?"

"I, uh..." The mage looked down in the box.

"I'll settle for some shredded barbecue." Cyrus snatched one of the MREs off the top and stuck it in an inner pocket, using the motion to retrieve the earpiece. "I would avoid the chicken ala king. Only give that to somebody if you hate them."

"But, Master Cyrus..." The mage looked over at Darius, then back at Cyrus. "We waited hours for this stuff! This was supposed to be coats and gloves for the mercenaries, not food!"

"At least they won't be hungry." Cyrus shrugged. "I'm not sure what you want from me."

"Aren't you in charge?"

"Of this?" Cyrus pointed at the crate nearest him. "I was there when the order was phoned in. We specifically asked them for cold weather gear. I am insanely curious how you want me to fix someone else's long distance fuck up."

The mage visibly paled.

Cyrus looked over at Darius. "If this is what you wanted to talk to me about, I'm afraid I can't help you. I may be a ranking member here, but that's only because sister Laurel had a mental breakdown and nobody else was up to the task. The Director--"

"Is an idiot." Darius's facial features were carved into place as if from stone, and all Cyrus could see in the man's sunglasses was his own reflection. "I am well aware of the man's shortcomings."

"Oh. Well okay then." Cyrus adjusted his coat and ran a hand through his hair as if to tidy it. The earpiece vanished perfectly into his ear canal. "What can I do for you?"

"Your people are being moved off location." Darius picked up a plastic binder and handed it over. "We are nearly ready for the next part of this operation, but that requires the usage of a different facility. Right now, Sister Laurel is on her way to assume control of this facility, but I have my doubts as to her competence."

"Oh." Cyrus took the binder from Darius and opened it up. It was a contract. "What am I looking at here?"

"We have become very aware that you are being underutilized." Elizabeth moved next to Darius and crossed her arms. "The Order pulled you out of retirement for this mission, then cast you aside when they didn't get the results they wanted."

"Your Director has an agenda." Darius gestured at the contract. "As do I."

"You want to hire me?"

"Officially." Elizabeth smirked. "Laurel may be in charge of your people, but we want one of our own in this facility, somebody that the young men and women in the Order will respect but will follow our orders. Your chain of command is...lacking, these days."

Cyrus looked up at Elizabeth. "I thought you were on some sort of forgiveness program with the Order. Do you work for the SoS now?"

"Strictly as a consultant. I have some experience dealing with the denizens of this place, as you probably know. There was nothing in my negotiated surrender to suggest that I was exclusive to your organization. In fact, your Director gave the Sons of Sin permission to hire their own experts if needed."

Darius cleared his throat. "None of that really matters. What does matter is that I'm the one in charge of this operation, not your Director. We still intend to do what we were paid for, but I need to make decisions in the heat of the moment. Seeing such a strong asset put out to pasture makes me realize that your Director prefers fealty over competence. That's a dangerous recipe for disaster."

Cyrus looked at the contract, which was pretty succinct. It definitely didn't need an entire binder for the three sheets of paper within. "I won't betray the Order," he said.

"And we're not asking you to. There's an aspect of the mission that has not been revealed to you, or anyone else at this location for obvious reasons. Sister Laurel is likely being briefed on her new duties right now, but only after she is at the new site." Darius sat across from Cyrus and removed his sunglasses. The mercenary's gaze was intense, his eyes somehow cruel. "You would still be working the original mission, but as your boss, I can put you in charge of both groups at this location. That way, I know I have someone competent running the show in case Sister Laurel has another lapse in sanity."

"Hmm." Cyrus studied the contract some more. Other than the six-figure amount for completing the mission, it was pretty straight forward. He would answer directly to Darius. But more importantly, he didn't know what else he could do here. If the SoS started a fight, he would likely out himself as a double agent. What concerned him more was the fact that there was some aspect of the mission he was unaware of, and he felt it was somehow the elephant in the room. What did he still not know? And was that why they had gone to so much trouble to keep Darius shielded from scrying magic?

"Okay, sorry about that, I've been busy." Eulalie's voice was almost a whisper. "Is something up?"

"So if I sign this, I become part of your team and you brief me on something that nobody has told me?" Cyrus looked at Darius for confirmation.

"Fuck me with a bug net," muttered Eulalie. "This is news to me."

The mercenary nodded. Without another thought, Cyrus signed the document and slid the binder over to Darius. The man picked it up with a grin and handed it to Elizabeth.

"Welcome to the Sons of Sin." Darius put his sunglasses back on and reached across the table to shake hands. "You're on the next car out of here. It leaves in five minutes."

Cyrus gave the man a mock salute and rose. "It will be nice to go somewhere a little warmer."

Darius stood with Cyrus. "You will be far more comfortable where you're going. Dirk?"

The man appeared as if from nowhere, causing Cyrus to flinch. Dirk looked at Cyrus, then back at Darius. "Did he sign on?"

"He did." Darius handed over the binder.

"Welcome aboard. Some of the guys speak highly of you." Dirk gestured toward the exit. "This way, please."

Cyrus was led to the driveway where a dark suburban idled. It occurred to him as he got in the passenger door that maybe this was an elaborate trap to take him somewhere else and kill him off, but Darius could have accomplished the same thing by having Elizabeth put a bullet in his face. Behind him, the vehicle was packed with several boxes, stacked up nearly to the roof. When Dirk got into the driver seat, Cyrus turned to the man.

"So where are we going?" he asked.

"You'll see when we get there." Dirk started the car and put it in drive. As they pulled off of the lawn, Cyrus noticed a trio of armored cars waiting on the main road by the stone lions guarded by a small group of mercenaries.

"What are those armored cars for?"

Dirk ignored him.

"They've been out there for a little bit," said Eulalie. "We have no idea what they're for. Yuki thinks maybe they're warded for transporting magical items or something. The idiots parked them by a storm drain, so I've already tagged them."

By the time they were out of the neighborhood, Cyrus was fidgeting in his seat. The silence was eerie, and he certainly wasn't used to it, not after so many days of being surrounded by people.

"So have you been with the SoS long?" he asked. Dirk grunted, but didn't acknowledge him further. Cyrus couldn't help but notice that the man was constantly scanning the road, as if expecting an ambush. Sighing, he slouched in his seat and crossed his arms as if to take a nap.

Instead of sleeping, he meditated, taking stock of the items he was carrying. His pockets were stuffed full of magical rods and wands, most of them objects of tremendous power. When people like Mads had disappeared, Cyrus had used their names to check out magical items, ensuring that his own people would have nothing too dangerous to use against the denizens of the house. He had also mislabeled things, swapping elemental implements for their opposites and even a healing rod for a fireball one. Knowing that his younger counterparts had become sloppy and careless, he had even replaced a few of the deadlier wands with fancy looking sticks he had found in the backyard.

Eulalie was largely silent, his earpiece occasionally picking up mutterings or even just the clacking of keys. Dirk was on the highway now, headed west toward the mountains. Cyrus kept his right eye open just a crack, then yawned and sat up when Dirk pulled off onto a dirt road nearly an hour later.

Pretending to rub the sleep from his eyes, Cyrus read off the mile marker as if it was an idle thought. He heard the keyboard clacking through the earpiece stop. "Where on Earth are we?" he wondered aloud, then looked out the window as if seeing the place for the first time. "Is there an Order facility out here?"

Dirk glanced at Cyrus, but the old man shrugged. "Sorry, old man habit. I don't expect you to answer, just wondering."

The mercenary turned his attention forward for another minute, the trees gobbling up the road ahead. After nearly a minute of silence, he spoke.

"So you've been hunting them all these years?" When Cyrus didn't respond, Dirk cleared his throat. "Monsters, I mean."

"Ah. Yeah, that was some of the job. In truth, I was always better at hunting them than the other stuff. Some members of the Order never saw battle, think of them like magical social workers." Cyrus grunted and scratched at his beard. When this ordeal was over, he planned to find a proper barber and have it trimmed. He was a little tired of the crazy old man he saw in the mirror these days. "Guess that says something about me, though."

"Says you're a badass." Dirk grinned. "We don't get a lot of calls like this one, but they're always messy. Some of our people like it that way, though."

"Do you?" Cyrus asked.

Dirk nodded. "I volunteered for this job. There's no challenge anymore with a lot of the stuff we do. We're either playing bodyguard for wealthy people who believe someone is out to get them, or we're fighting other guys like us. But these jobs? You never know what's going to happen."

"Very true," Cyrus replied.

"But I think the best part about it is that there isn't any guilt afterward." Dirk stared ahead, his eyes on the road but somehow elsewhere. "I've lost count of how many people I've killed. When I was younger, Darius taught me not to look in their eyes when they died, but I still do. Yeah, they're usually trying to kill me first, so I don't feel as bad, but they were still people, right?

"But these monsters? Fuck 'em. We can go all out. This is our world, and they should have played by our rules." The man smirked as he drummed on the steering wheel with his gloved hands. "Back at HQ, we actually have a trophy room. It's usually just pictures and stuff, but occasionally we'll take something and have it stuffed, put it up on the wall."

"Oh." Cyrus didn't even know how to respond to this information.

"Years ago, we got hired to take out a cluster of sirens, those women who sing and drive you mad. Carl, this guy who used to be on my squad, he had one of their heads mounted with a speaker inside it. It plays Taylor Swift if you get too close. We use it to haze the new guys." Dirk paused for a moment and frowned. "Shit, forget I said that. If you ever get invited to HQ, pretend to be surprised."

Cyrus grunted in acknowledgement, but said little else. When Eulalie next spoke, her voice was tense.

"I'm going to find that place and burn it to the ground," she whispered.

"So what's the scariest fuck you've ever hunted down?" asked Dirk. Now that the man was talking, Cyrus wished he would shut up.

"People," Cyrus replied. When Dirk gave him an odd look, Cyrus elaborated. "Humans. Every time things have gone sideways or I've lost members of my team, it's been humans."

After a long moment, Dirk nodded. "Ah, I get you. Witches and shit."

"Yep. Like that woman back at the house, Elizabeth."

Dirk slowed the car and fixed Cyrus with a look. "Don't let the boss hear you talk like that," he warned. "Not that it's any of my business, but I think he might have a thing going on with her or something."

"A thing?" Curious, Cyrus sat up in his seat.

"Maybe. They seem like they know each other. I kind of wonder if she isn't an old fuck buddy, or something similar. That whole story about turning herself in? It's true, but only after he asked her to do it. She was supposed to come on board this whole time."