Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 091

"What the heck was that?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Holly stopped to look too, then grabbed his hand when another set of lights flickered. It almost looked like something was climbing across the exterior of the buildings, moving fast enough to block the light for only a moment. "We were right to leave. Someone came to check."

"The Krampus?" he asked.

"Doubt it. He would have come on his sleigh...I think." She bit her lip. "Though maybe he can use fireplaces, if Santa taught him how."

Mike gritted his teeth, knowing full well that the Krampus could. The road was curving away so that the ski town could no longer be seen, which meant they would be hidden from view. Without any tracks to find, he could only hope the Krampus would give up long before committing to a search that wide. "Let's keep going."

Nearly an hour later, they found themselves standing in front of someone's weekend cabin. They were well away from the lights and comforts of the ski town. The building was dark, meaning no fire had been lit. Holly went in first, using a lockpick from her pouch. She declared the house clear, and they all went inside. The front room had a pair of couches, and there was a bedroom in the back.

Mike stomped his feet out of habit, surprised to discover that his stolen boots were dry. Freya/Jack had done a great job of keeping their travel concealed, and he wondered if they had simply made the snow return to where it had started.

The cabin was lit only by the moonlight reflecting off the snow outside until Yuki sent a few traces of foxfire into the corners. The room now looked like it was lit by candles, revealing that a small, fake Christmas tree had been set on the kitchen counter. A quick check of the cabin revealed that it was a rental, and it didn't seem like anybody had booked it.

The group spread out and Holly stocked the pantry with the rest of their stolen food. The sandwich meat and cheeses didn't need refrigeration due to the timelock, but she still put them in the fridge for storage purposes. Yuki kept watch out the window while Mike went back to his study of Jack/Freya's soul.

Jack/Freya didn't seem to require sleep, seemingly content staring into space. Mike could tell that the two of them were having some sort of internal debate, their soul halves constantly shifting back and forth in what looked like an attempt to claim territory. Holly went to bed a couple hours after they settled, not even bothering to make a pass at Mike like she had done the previous night. He had declined her offer then, mainly to avoid upsetting Jack/Freya.

Yuki had set up her art station next to the window, her ears shifting every now and then as she worked on replenishing the minor arcana of her tarot. Now that Mike could see magic, he watched in fascination as she pulled different elements from her own body and even the air around them and layered it into each painting. The more complicated the spell, the more magic was stored inside the art. The lower numbers didn't take her very long, and he finally understood how she was able to command the cards to become what she needed them to be.

It was all about layered potential. Yuki was pouring magic into a well with the expectation that she could shape it with her intent later. Mike learned more about enchantments and runes from fifteen minutes of watching her than in all the time he had lived in his house. It wasn't something he would be able to suddenly recreate on his own, but it was suddenly like several doors had been opened in his mind.

When Holly woke up, she made herself a meal while Yuki packed up her portable easel and went to bed herself. Mike joined the elf for sandwiches, noticing how exhausted she looked.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Not really," she admitted. "I didn't sleep very good, because...please don't take this the wrong way, but...I'm not so sure we can beat him. The Krampus."

"Oh." Mike frowned, then set down his food. "Yeah, things are bad. But if I'm being honest, I've been in worse spots."

"You have?"

"Yes. Pissed off the Queen of the Faeries a year back, got that to work out. Literally saved the world about nine months ago from a dead god and their priestess. Lost someone important to me during that whole affair." He took a deep breath and let it out. There weren't adequate words to describe how the whole thing had felt, the raw void that had been left behind with Velvet's passing. Right now, it was more important to give Holly hope, and crying wasn't going to help. "When all is said and done, I will go down fighting. Or at least be able to say I tried."

"But why you?" she asked. "These things you've mentioned, they're big. And now you're caught up in this, too. Doesn't that seem strange?"

"Huh." He had given up trying to rationalize his life long ago, but Holly had a point. Most of his issues had centered around the house, but not all of them. The incident with Leeds hadn't even originally been about him. And now he was dealing with Santa's literal inner demon, though it was loosely tied to the house. "It does seem strange," he admitted.

Was it all part of the Great Game? Or was it a result of becoming part of the magical world? It was something to consider. Emily had experienced her fair share of setbacks, but from everything the others had told him, it had never been like this.

Holly leaned forward, her elbows on the table and her chin above clasped hands. A lock of hair came loose from her hat in the process. She tried to blow it away from her eyes, but was unsuccessful.

"I hate this," she muttered. "I wish Santa would come back and fix everything. If we could just figure out where the Krampus locked him up, we could find him and let him fix everything."

Mike stared at the elf, stunned. Not only did he know exactly where Santa was, but would the process of extracting him be much different than what he was about to attempt with Jack and Freya? Could he simply grab onto a chunk of Santa and pull him to the surface, leaving the Krampus locked away?

All this time, they had simply been reacting to what the Krampus did with no real plan to stop him. Now? That power was potentially in Mike's hands. He just needed to learn how to wield it, and then return to the North Pole to kick some ass. These were all things he could accomplish with the help of the others.

"I could kiss you," he declared without thinking.

Holly smiled dreamily, then sighed. "I'm not in the mood," she told him. "Too depressed. There's not even any mistletoe. All we have for Christmas is that tree over there, and it's not even decorated. Why bother setting it out if you aren't going to put ornaments on it?"

"I might have a fix for that." Mike got up and went to his coat to retrieve the ornament Santa had given him. The spirit inside had hidden itself away, making it look like a simple frosted bulb. He handed it to Holly. "Here. You put it on."

The elf perked up, taking the ornament from him. "Why do you have this?"

"Santa left it for me in his workshop."

"Truly?" Holly stared at him in awe, then reverently hung the ornament on the tree. She didn't even question Mike's statement, humming to herself as she hooked it on a branch. "You have no idea how happy this makes me," she told him.

"Convenient," Freya snorted from the other side of the room. "Santa gives you an ornament, you find a bare tree to put it on three days later to cheer up the elf helping you."

Mike frowned at her words. She was right, it was convenient. Was the purpose of the gift to cheer the elf? Or was there a deeper purpose? It had just occurred to him that he might be able to rescue Santa using an ability he gained while in the North Pole, after practicing something similar on Jack/Freya.

Just how precognizant was Santa? Had the ghost of Christmas Future told him what was going to happen? Or did Santa himself just know? Was that why Santa let the Krampus take over, because Mike would ultimately defeat him using--

His thoughts were lost when Holly planted a kiss that heated him up from the inside, her hands moving along his chest. She let out a tiny moan in his mouth, then broke the kiss while licking her lips.

"Thank you," she said. "I would offer you more than a kiss, but..." her eyes flicked over to Jack/Freya.

"I understand." He yawned, stretching his arms over his head. "I should probably get some rest. I think I've got what I need to help Freya and Jack tomorrow."

"You'd better," Jack mumbled. He gave the goddess a cursory glance to see that her soul was tumbling about again in what he estimated to be self pity.

Minutes later, he snuggled into bed with Yuki, her tails helping trap the heat under the blankets. He drifted to sleep, the Dreamscape sprouting around him like time-lapsed grass in fast forward. Sitting on the edge of Naia's fountain, he saw that the others were waiting for him. Lily sat topless on the edge of the fountain, her arms clasped in front of her as a moving tattoo that looked identical to Jack/Freya's soul shifted across her skin. Ratu and Naia studied the design, then looked over at Mike.

"Well?" he asked. It was clear that his hours of study coupled with Lily's ability to experience the world had born fruit.

"It took a few hours before anything showed up, but Lily was finally able to project it in real time." Ratu patted the spot next to her. "And I think we have a way for us to help you fix it."

"Excellent." He let out a sigh of relief, then excused himself long enough to check on the massive sign he had built over the house. He and Kisa still had their link, but he didn't even know if she could reach him now that time was flowing differently. On the odd chance she arrived, he had written a brief synopsis of what they were doing on a giant billboard.

Tink had written "You stink" on the bottom corner of it with a can of spray paint, followed by a silly face. Mike thought it was funny, so left it up.

"So what do we need to do to get this train rolling?" Mike asked. "Do I start from the outside and work my way in, or...?"

Lily burst into laughter, then looked over her shoulder at him. "Oh, please, can I tell him? Please let me be the one to tell him."

Naia looked at Ratu, who just shrugged. "Someone is going to have to tell him," the naga said. "May as well be you."

"Tell me what?" Mike asked, suddenly worried that what he heard next was going to really piss off Freya and Jack.

Lily cackled, then shared the plan with him. Turned out he was right.

❄️❄️❄️

Kisa dropped down from the rafters, landing silently behind the cluster of elves taking the last of the presents. After Grýla had left, Kisa had waited maybe half an hour in her hiding spot, watching the elves. They moved soullessly, no words shared between them as they obeyed the Krampus' last order.

One of the elves turned to look right at her, his eyes briefly taking her in and then sliding away from her as he forgot her presence. She moved out of his way as he looked around the room, clearly trying to remember what he had just seen.

The last of the gifts were loaded onto a sled. Since there was some leftover room, Kisa hopped onto the back and crouched down. She wasn't certain if Grýla was still around, and had a sinking feeling that the giant might be able to see through whatever magic kept the cat girl from discovery. The gifts would likely get no more than a cursory glance at best, and that would have to be enough.

The elves took up the ropes and pulled the sled into the underground tunnel. Kisa's eyes adjusted to the dim light, allowing her to notice that the elves moved as if on auto pilot. She couldn't be certain if they saw anything as they marched in lock step with one another.

Up ahead in the tunnel, an unexpected side passage appeared. It was immediately apparent to Kisa that the side passage didn't have the same construction as the other tunnels she had been in. This one looked natural, and she would have thought it was just a cave system if not for the odd concave marks along the edges. Despite being solid stone, it almost looked like a pair of hands had simply scooped it away, leaving behind occasional finger lines in the granite.

These had to be tunnels dug by the giant and her kin. How long had it taken them? She didn't get a chance to ponder it for long before the elves turned down the new tunnel, which wasn't lit at all. All around her, the elves shuffled forward, their speed reduced drastically as they navigated the darkness.

Kisa took several deep breaths, reminding herself that the cave wasn't about to collapse. She had no idea how much land was even above her right now, and contemplating thousands of tons crushing her into cat paste wasn't going to--

She shivered, then bit the inside of her cheek. She needed to stay focused on what was important, and apparently that meant tunneling to the center of the Earth to do it.

A dim light appeared, and she almost squealed with joy. Long shadows formed behind the sled as it was pulled into a large chamber lit from above by glowing gemstones. In awe, Kisa stared up at the glittering crystals until her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sled being tipped sideways into a pit.

She bounced and slid along the massive pile of presents, eventually coming to a stop next to a skateboard with a bow stuck to the wheels. Up above, the elves wandered away with their empty sled as Kisa cursed herself for getting caught up in the moment.

"Where the fuck am I?" she whispered to herself, scanning the ledge for movement. The pit she had been dumped in was massive, and she moved to the sloped walls to climb out. The rock was smooth, but more of those finger grooves gave her plenty to grab onto as she hauled her tail out of there.

Near the rim, she crouched down and slowed her movements. When she finally looked over the edge, she saw that the elves were on the other side of the massive chamber, waiting to go into a much narrower tunnel. Seeing nobody else watching, she cautiously pulled herself out of the pit and looked around.

The chamber itself was massive, and multiple pits had been dug around the edges. Several were still empty, but others were packed high with presents. Kisa examined the piles, curious what the overall plan for them was. It wasn't until she was near the other side of the chamber that she understood.

One of the pits looked different from the others. A massive hole had been carved into the center, and Kisa immediately recognized the ducting inside. It was an attachment to the furnace, which meant that they planned to shove all the gifts in there at some point. When she moved closer for a better look, she saw scorch marks lining the outside of the opening.

Interesting. Had the Krampus put this in, or was it something the giant had done?

The elves had disappeared into their tunnel, so Kisa walked over to see where they had gone. The tunnel was smooth for over a hundred feet before it opened up into a circular room with glowing crystals above and a narrow walkway in the middle. Next to the walkway were sets of staircases that led down into pits with holding pens. Elves, thousands of them, milled about silently, their milky eyes staring at the walls as if blind.

On the other side of the chamber, a separate room had been built where the elves who had taken the gifts now sat. They were in a tight cluster, as if to keep warm, their arms folded across their legs. The sleds had been stacked in the back of the room.

Next to the sled storage room was the entrance to a much larger hallway. From it, Kisa heard a series of low growls, followed by staccato laughter.

"You don't want to know, you don't want to know," she whispered to herself as curiosity drove her forward. Kisa crouched close to the walls, more out of apprehension than fear of discovery. The grunts were occasionally punctuated by snippets of conversation. It sounded like a small group of men and women talking to each other.

The mouth of the tunnel widened, revealing a huge living area full of battered furniture. Along one wall, shattered remnants of couches were in a pile, with a small cadre of elves nearby to scavenge parts. A makeshift workshop had been set up in the corner, the elves working tirelessly to build and restuff the largest couch Kisa had ever seen.

In the other corner, a set of king size mattresses had been set on the floor, propped up from behind by rocks to turn them into a recliner. A huge, greasy haired figure lay on them, his attention on a flatscreen TV that had been fitted into a rocky alcove.

"That's because they were on a break!" the giant declared, throwing an empty bottle at the wall to the side of the screen. It shattered, leftover beer dribbling down to vanish in the glass wreckage below.

Kisa stopped, doing her best to take it all in. The giant looked like a male version of Grýla, though he was wearing a pair of pants that were made out of an old tarp. He had one hand down his pants, doing gods knew what, while he used the other to take a bottle of whiskey from an elf standing nearby. The giant was watching the show Friends, and was clearly distraught about something.

Realizing that she had likely stumbled into Grýla's lair, Kisa debated backing out, but got that cold sensation in her stomach that warned her it was time to hide. She slid along the wall and found a poorly lit overhang that she could scramble onto. If she rolled toward the back wall, her body was completely hidden from sight.

"Leppalúði!" Grýla's voice carried down the tunnel like a foghorn. "Get your ass up, we've got company coming!"

The giant watching television frantically searched around for the remote. Unable to find it, he simply threw the bottle at the tv, causing the screen to shatter. He got up and stomped on the pile of glass bottles, his massive feet reducing them to a glittering powder. Kisa didn't miss the fact that the hard rock under his feet softened like mud.

"Leppalúði!" Grýla appeared in the main tunnel, her lips smeared with fresh blood and dirt. "I need you to get the pot."

"The pot?" Leppalúði looked confused, putting a finger to his lips before turning to look over his shoulder.

Grýla struck him so hard that he rolled across the room, smashing into a stalagmite and shattering it.

"Yes, you idiot, the pot! The one we use for cooking." She walked over to the other giant and yanked him to his feet. "We have company coming."

"Who's coming?" Leppalúði only had one eye open, the other swollen shut already.

"Company. Food." Grýla grinned, her massive teeth glinting in the light. "The Krampus is bringing us a present."

"No!" It was a response of disbelief, a grin blossoming on Leppalúði's ugly face. "It's happening?"

"It is." Grýla patted Leppalúði on the head affectionately, then grabbed him by the ear. She yanked him toward her face, her mouth opening wide as if to bite him. "But not if you don't find that fokking pot!"

"Yes, I'll do it!" He pushed her away, trying to placate her by groveling. Kisa noticed that he was a bit smaller than Grýla. "I think it got tossed in a cave, won't take me but a minute."

"Good." She ran her hand across his chest, then lowered it to his groin and gave him an affectionate squeeze. "After we eat, you're gonna put some more babies in me."

Kisa couldn't tell if Leppalúði was thrilled or horrified. Either way, Grýla did a quick circuit of the room, pausing briefly to contemplate the elves working on repairing broken furniture. She threw a glance Leppalúði's way, then snatched an elven woman and lifted her to her mouth.

Kisa closed her eyes and shoved her fingers in both ears, slowly counting backward from sixty. When she got to zero, she unplugged her ears and let out a sigh when she realized the cave was quiet. Moving to the ledge, she peered over the top to see Leppalúði staring at his broken tv with remorse.