All Comments on 'Home from School Ch. 04-05'

Loving this story. Have been checking every day for the latest part! Don't make us wait so long for the next one!

This is not so much a full on movie story, more like a weekly series on tv where you are always left wanting more. I love the way it’s only bite sized sections you are giving us, leaving us wondering what’s next. Love the build up and the two sided account of the same story.

Please don’t blow it by going daft, this has real potential for a long series of stories.

The writing is ok, but the overall story suffers from being broken up into several chapters for no good reason. Each chapter is barely enough for 1 page so why not combine them all into 1 submission? No point rushing out a new chapter if it's just a short nothingburger. The sum product would still be shorter than a great deal of other stories here. Also, the whole Mom's/Son's perspective being introduced half way through is just dumb and confusing. Either introduce it early and let the reader get used to it or don't bother.

Getting kinda hot in here! WHEW!