All Comments on 'Home Invasion'

Could have been developed more; especially how the wife copes with cumming on the initially unwanted cocks in spite of herself.

There was a lot that could have been added to this story to expand it. I read a similar story where the wife was fucked by multiple intruders (3 or 4?), her husband felt guilty about the whole thing because he was turned on.

The twist in that story was that the wife was in on the whole thing and was essentially fulfilling a fantasy for her husband. Which made it a consensual non con story well from her POV at any rate. Elements of realism for stories in a contemporary setting can help make a fantasy story unless it’s intended to be something so fantastical that the story is impossible eg. alien abduction, the supernatural, dystopian etc

What you wrote was a straightforward rape story, and real rape isn’t sexy. Ok this is a fantasy so obviously nobody actually got hurt. I suggest you add a trigger warning at the start of stories, that kind of thing is hugely appreciated. Some morons actually believe that if the victim gets wet/ has an orgasm that it’s not rape, it actually makes the whole ordeal worse. As to the other Anon comment, I’ve no idea if it was intended as racist, if the ethnicity of the intruders is meant to be relevant? I hope not because racism is pathetic.

Had it been a retelling of an actual event then it’s what happens next that’s important. Like leaving DNA evidence behind for the police.

Tess (UK)

I agree that more could have been added to fill out this story. I suggest a part 2 to cover what happens next before the robbers leave. Certainly they cannot leave her so unfinished. DP her. Set her on her husband and us the other two to TP her. Give her a few more orgasms.

Not a bad story, but it doesn’t seem to know what it is trying to be. Softened rape? A good editor would tidy up the storyline and sort the multiple grammar issues at the same time. Mixed tenses are often a cause for Lit to turn down stories, so you’ve been lucky so far.

I'm wet and ready to play. Although the story could have been better developed, the point was clearly made. Now to find a couple of guys to join me....

why is it always blacks? Instant boner killer

I'd love this to happen to my wife. bkforher@hotmail.com if you would like to do this to her.

Oh Yeah! Loved the description ! I'm that naughty, also.

Eve gets into the car as the rapists watch her leave then in the next paragraph she's sitting on the sofa. That must be magic.

Well that what it reads.

You need to construct your story better. Develope it as you write it. Stop then read it to see if it makes sense then maybe add more description to bring the reader in.

Plus by re-reading you can spot the spelling mistakes like "give my ball a luck". Ok the u is next to the I but it is wrong.

Just take your time. Readers can wait for a better story.

Story turned me on loved how her husband got hard as he watched his wife being touched .love for this to happen to me two men I don't know fuck me bareback shooting there loads deep into my unprotected pussy

Please stop writing or what you imagine to be writing.

Some morons don't think grammar is important and it looks like you don't either.

"think it's time I bury my cock into your previous little wife."

"No!! Please don't! Just leave us alone!" Jester shouted in a desperate attempt to stop Dee as he groped Eve's form ass" WTF is that?

A previous wife? A form ass? Do you not ever read the shit you put on this site.

Hoping you wrire about Eve turning into a 'hotwife' with Jester's permission and encouragement