All Comments on 'Ch. 02: Honeymoon'

One might expect an author to figure out how to write dialogue, and format it the same way on all *four* pages of their story. It's as if you learned your mistakes part way through, and simply couldn't be bothered to go back and fix the earlier train wreck of formatting.

would be nice if they joined with the other couple at beach. More details about frum sexual acts are needed

Constructive criticism - you never describe the character’s physical characteristics.

The story is also dull.