Hootie 04

Hootie 04

I didn't really want to leave Skippy's Halloween party, but I was losing all of the battles with all the guys who matter to Brie. So, riding along with Jimmy J for the rest of the evening seemed like the way to go, at the moment anyways. Plus, it would give me a chance to be with another person while out on the mean streets of Middleton and to get personalized Pizza Shop instructions from the lovely Suzie, which had to be better than the occasional greetings that we had exchanged in the past.

And what's better than a decent CD on Halloween in a Nefertiti, Queen of the Dessert, way back in day costume, delivering pizzas on Halloween weekend, right? Hah, the only thing better is standing at attention in front of Suzie and listening to her tell me how things work at the Pizza Shop. Well, you know, right? As best a Mummy can stand at attention and then pay attention to anything other than her desirable hips.

"And that's how we work around here at the Pizza Shop, Hootie. Did you get all of that?"

"So, Suzie, what you're saying is that you like to relax after work by stripping down to your undies and laying down on your bed topless while displaying your amazingly massive hips to Jimmy J while he straddles your luscious thighs and rubs your back and shoulders with two hands and then he gets excited and you know, pokes around a little and you like to be poked every now and then? Is that what you're saying, Suzie?"

"Ah, no, I was saying that we include two containers of dipping sauce with every order of cheese sticks, but I like the way you think. Also, I wouldn't be mad if you mention repeat that to Jimmy J tonight while you're on your very innocent and proper route with him."

"Oh, I see, so you're saying that you're still waiting for Jimmy J to get all up in your dipping sauce and he had better get his act together soon and drive it home quick before you give up on him and go looking for a "poking" from someone else? By the way, when you're laying face down on your bed topless, are you in just a thong and is it Forrest Green?"

"Ah, no, most of my undies are goth black. But I was saying that you and your driving partner need to carefully plan out your driving directions for each delivery. Main street is full of dipsy doodles and they slow you down. Our customers like it delivered hot. Also, do you think my skin tone would work with such a Forrest Green thong?"

"So, in between orders, you carefully plan out how to sneak in a few minutes behind the building with Jimmy J and you do everything in your power to make it hot while you whisper sweet nothings in his ear about the thin strip of material that splits your fantastic buns?"

"Oh, well, yeah, once in a while, but never mind all that. I was saying that the cops only allow you guys to park on the main strip for a few minutes, so no lingering with the deliveries on Main strip. Don't try to shave it close or they will slap a ticket on you. Also, is it getting warm in here?"

"Got it, you might invite me over tonight after work so you can relax in a hot bath as I bathe you with a sponge and say things about how well you keep your landing strip shaved. Also, if that's something that Brie does for you every now and then, well, let's not forget that I'm filling in for her tonight."

"Oh, OMG, a warm bath sounds so good, but there's no time for that discussion right now. I was saying that men and women both like to be flirted with, but do not accept an invitation to enter a customer's home or apartment. It's against the rules. And Brie may or may not have helped me in the bath before, but never mind her right now. It's important for you to understand the value of a good tip. Most people respond nicely to a little harmless flirting, all except for the neighborhood near the airport landing strips. They are just pissed off people due to the constant noise. Also, oh my, we decided that it's hot in here tonight, right?"

"Oh, then why didn't you just say that in the first place. You want me to constantly remind Jimmy J that you want the tip of his Lolli Pop to poke around a little right after I towel dry you off from the warm sponge bath that I'm giving you tonight after work and that I should mention to him how soft and sweet smelling you will be when you emerge from the scented bath. Also, personally hand drying someone with a soft towel doesn't qualify as "poking around" because my kind doesn't do that, but it does require hands to be in some places."

"Oh, well, oh my, ah, yeah, hands in some places, right, well, I would have to wear a bikini for such a bath and OMG, never mind all that right now. I mean, holy snap, you're getting me all flustered here! Just take this first order and go. And by the way, keep hands to yourself tonight! He's my future boyfriend! You can do whatever with the customers, after they tip you, of course. Also, is it wet and humid in here or is it just me? I feel flushed."

"Alright, I'm ready to go on my first assignment and get my own tips. I sort all of the food containers out by their delivery sequences and remind Jimmy J that only he can de-fluster you and I'm allowed to use my hands as privacy cups as I whisper such things into his adorable ear. Also, I think it's both wet and hot in here and it will probably get much worse when I gently rub honey butter cream into your creamy thighs tonight."

"Oh, holy I'm getting worked up snap, quit it! Ugh! No whispering while he's driving and OMG, don't say anything about driving it home, well, unless those are the words that come to you up at the moment. Now go, nerf ball titties. Jimmy J, your next order and your bitch crazy partner are ready to go. Oh my, ah, Sal, I'm taking a smoke break out back to cool off."

And let it be known that Hootie is the only person in Middleton to get Suzie all flustered, flushed and stuff. Also, let it be known that the other driver, Zack, likes me.

"Alright, let's hit it Hootie. Oh, holy Ken Doll snap, LOL, our first stop is Brie's favorite. This should be interesting."

And away we went on our first delivery of the night. Also, Jimmy J drives crazy and probably gets a lot of tickets anyways.

"So, I just take the container to the door, knock, smile a lot, take the money and then jump in the lake?"

"What? Jump in what lake?"

"I don't know. Brie is texting me and saying that I should jump in the lake if Ken Doll likes me. Also, Suzie is still waiting for you to make a move."

"Never mind all that. Suzie and I are just fine. You just need to worry about fiddling with Ken's crotch to pump up that fat tip."

"Fiddle? Fat tip? Are we delivering pizza or porn?"

"Same thing, now just go all "weird arms mummy" bitch crazy on him and snatch that paper, Hootie."

Oh yeah, like I knew how to that, but I held the pizza box up high and waddled my way up the sidewalk, shaking my hanging cloth drapes all the way.

"Hello sir, one large Meat Lover's pizza and a Greek Salad for the lovely wifey wife. $29 even and a big fat tip please. And yes, I'm smiling at you behind all the black streaks of death on my face."

"Well, who do we have here and where is my little girlfriend, Brie? Also, is there a zipper in the back of your costume?"

"Hi, I'm Nefertiti, Queen of the Dessert, way back in the day, but you can call me Hootie. Anyways, Brie stole my boyfriend, so I knee capped her. Also, there is a zipper back there."

"What? Nerf ball titties? Alright, well I'm sorry to hear about Brie's knees because she sure knew how to get down on them. LOL, I assume you're kidding, right? Also, are you getting on your knees before the wife comes out here and breaks us up?"

"I am kidding about Bree and her knees, maybe. Also, the wife is right behind you. Here Miss Wifey Wife, one Greek Salad to help you maintain that amazing figure."

"Oh, why thank you, ah, Nefertiti, was it? Ken, pay the sissy and get back inside. I'm assuming there is a zipper in the back of her jumpsuit, so 6 minutes and no more."

And that's pretty much how the rest of evening went. House after house, side street after side street and constant reminders to Jimmy J that he had better get with the Suzie program, you know, unless he truly wants to be a fool.

"Alright Jimmy J, now that I have told you everything you need to know about how to please Suzie tonight after work and to make a firm commitment to her, so it's only fair that you tell me if I should be worried about the way Zack looks at me. Spill it."

"Well, first of all, the only things you have said are the ten things you're going to do to Suzie tonight and how you'll the leave the door cracked open so I can peek in. Oh, and then you rambled on about the ten guys who rejected you earlier tonight at Skippy's Halloween party. Also, Zack is a smooth talker and he will win if you're not on your game. And don't even ask about Zack being boyfriend material. He'll come back for plenty more sex, but without status."

"Oh, I see, alright, thanks for the info. Anyways, I'm giving Suzie the rundown, so be prepared for that."

"You just shut it, Hootie, but you know, write down that back rubbing stuff for me. Also, Zack has been texting me and he's taking you home tonight, so be prepared for that."

Hey, for this kind of cash money I can keep my mouth shut. I mean, look at all these green backs and we only made four routes. And as I strutted back inside of the Pizza Shop I found Suzie to still be a little flushed.

"Alright Hootie, spill it! Is he coming around tonight or what?"

"Oh, he's coming around alright. We stopped by the All-Night Pawn shop and he bought a "promise" ring for you. Unfortunately, he's dumping me off on Zack after work, so the soothing hot bath may have to wait for another time. I mean, I don't know who is going to rub you down with scented oils now, but whatever."

"Well, first of all, I'm going to miss the bath as you described it earlier Hootie, but I've waited quite a while for Jimmy J to come around to his senses. Secondly, you should prepare other words for our follow up bath for another time. It seems that I like getting all flustered, you know, with the support of your thoughts and understanding of how things work around here."

Oh, I don't know what happened between those two after work because my invite was pulled back so they could finally get together. I do know that Zack gave me a ride home and OMG, finally someone unraveled me out of my mummy costume! Also, Zack's just a horny guy and I had to unravel myself, but at least I was unraveled.

End Hootie 04