All Comments on 'Hot Tubbing With Mom'

if this story continues, then this is a good beginning, but if this it it then it's a bad ending.

Your story is good, but PLEASE get an editor to look at your stories from now on ( it wouldn't hurt to have this one fixed and then resubmitted ). I caught several instances of the following: wrong word used, wrong tense, missing word, unnecessary words. These errors distract from the enjoyment of the story.

This was perhaps THE WORST wtitten story I have ever read on this site. I'm not speaking about the storyline, which was interesting, but the writing itself.

You failed to proofread your work!!!! I reread this story in an attempt to catalog all of your mistakes in grammar and spelling. I gave up after reading just the first 2 paragraphs! For example, what does this, the 3rd sentence of the 1rst paragraph mean:

"His hours at the restaurant was keep him out late, and believe it or not, he always come home hungry."

That sentence is horrendous! Then I found an error in the 6th sentence of the 1rst paragraph and another in the 2nd sentence of the 2nd paragraph. At that point I stopped looking; the process was too painful.

Editing mistakes detract from any story. As a reader I do not expect perfection but I do expect some attempt at keeping mistakes to a minimum. That you let this get published says that you had absolutely no consideration for your audience. As a member of that audience I rated your story accordingly.

good story and text but need more moans and requests from mom to " fuck her and suck her" etc. beef it up some. be more specific re mom's body abd her squirming in heat and lust.

This is not the best story you have done - the one about the fire tower was better but it is not as bad as some people have suggested. Spelling and Grammar are not your strong points but you do have a knack for metaphor and there is some good action description.Get someone to check your work before submitting it as a lot of the problems would be easy to correct. Don't let the negative critics discourage you but you do need a little help.

please have a part 2 story.

I can't believe someone set out to write a story that doesn't have a mastery of the english language or how to spell certain words. A proof reader or editor is needed for this author. However, fair story line. Explore it more!!us

I will try and help in a more positive way, although many of the previous comments were correct. The "editor" suggestion gets thrown around a lot, but frankly it doesn't seem like there are all that many willing, and even fewer that would be of help.

Therefore my suggestion is to read your story out loud, either to yourself or to another person. When you do this, the mistakes like the fragmented sentences or the wrong tense errors will become obvious, and you will not end up having to listen to comments like you have received here. This is the incest category besides! I shudder to think what some of the other category readers would do to this story, which is unreadable as is.

i loved this story. while it did need editing i didnt find my self even paying it an notice. if there was an error i was able to jsut read it correctly with out noticing the error... i loved the story... as for a editor its kinda a hard thing to do with the taboo subject.

That get's so old and most girls experience with oversized dickys was disappointing

Boy! I would absolutely love to be Danny!

she took a great facial i love seeing facial stories

Yes it does need more style and to better story line and to be better writen needs to have moans and pics would not hurt needs to have some feeling to the story

..or learn English.. either way, no more submissions for now, thank you..

Please, learn English or typing.

I couldn't read past the first few paragraphs.

Hi !!!!! I believe you do type too fast, and need to SLOWLY reread your story for its correctness, prior to submission.

Having said that it was a hot story. Thanks Don

It's stories like this that makes you want this site to refuse to let STUPID people submit such POOR writing! At least you didn't have a 14" long, and 10" around donkey dick.

Loved the story. I get critiqued about my editing as well, but this was almost bad enough to distract even me. I honestly don't know how it ever got published. The story had a lot of elements that really got me going though. Hot work.

Use spell check...lots of errors.

not a bad little story but very sloppy editing.

The grammar could use work, but it needs another chapter where son and mom become lovers. Maybe even have the mom get pregnant with the son's baby.

COME ON CARRIE, DON'T TEASE US. MOM SOUNDS HOT TO TROT. AND HER SON IS WILLING, SO HOW ABOUT CHAPTER TWO. A FAN....LAROC OF AGES

proofread your story a few times before posting it.

As Maria lay in bed naked, she was horny again, and also felt a little guilty that Danny hadn't been satisfied earlier. Almost in a trance, she got up and went into her son's bedroom, and got into bed with him. Danny's cock was already hard as she positioned herself above it, then lowed herself down slowly. Danny awoke startled, but Maria quickly leaned forward putting a breast into his mouth and said, "Suck on my tits son." As Danny alternated between nipples, he thought to himself, "this has got to be a dream, so why not take advantage of it?" Forcing his mother over, he raised her legs to his chest and began pile-driving into her pussy! Maria was caught completely off guard, letting out a shriek as he did so! "You're one hot babe mom," Danny said already breathing hard, and panting! Trying to decide what to say in reply, she had a nearly out of body experience, and could hear herself as if from afar. "Oh yes, oh yes, oh Danny, oh Danny, fuck me, fuck me hard, oh god, oh god yes, that's it, just like that," she heard herself screaming!

Good story now but with proofreading and editing, a great story.

Edit some shit. Damn.

Too many distracting errordS

The story has a good premise but the language, dialogue and tenses are insufferable.

5.0 = 💯% (❤💛💚💙💜.)

In my opinion, this is an excellent mom-son incest story. The author managed to tell us a complete story on less than a page. On top of that it is erotic and romantic, 2-in-1.

If you are into mom/son incest stories, you can't go wrong if you this this one.

Excerpt from the story (SPOILER ALERT.)

Quote: "Are we going to be lovers, Mom? Is that what you what?" Danny asked almost holding his breath as he waited for the answer." End quote.

It's bad enough when people don't know how to use proper grammar and spelling, but then to post it so the whole world can see it, is a whole new level of laziness. Too bad because there's a really good story here!

Speling & grammar made a good story lousy, really spoilt the "atmosphere", if you will !!!

I love the premise of the story. However, the grammatical and spelling errors distracted greatly!