All Comments on 'Hotel Pool Encounter'

I would have liked to read more of a description of fucking her and less of the foreplay.

This is a poorly written story. You tried to hard and you killed it.

Eidtor is in order. Syntax is awful.

I find it funny that there were at least 3 typos from the person rudely suggesting you need an editor, but I think they’re right in that you might see some benefits from a little assistance

Mind you, the story is good, but it just feels like it needs a little extra something to be really great. It might be the length—it’s short, and ends just before you hint of more happening, but there’s also something else that’s off that I can’t quite put my finger on. It has an almost dream-like feel to it. It might be the way conversations happen (things like “she mentioned” rather than direct dialogue)

Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more

* she wants to go to a room

* he says his room number

* she goes to the hot tub

makes no sense