All Comments on 'House of Sand'

Loved it. Thank you. I'll just imagine there's a part 2 where Maddie's parents eventually saw light.

I enjoyed it very much. Glad you didn't invest time in drama with the teachers. I was hoping for a reconciliation at the end, but that's ok, not every fairy tale has a perfect ending. Nicely done!

This was simply beautiful.

~Sabrina

luved the story,wonderfully written

Second story, second home run. Being a staight white male, what gets me is the quality of stories about lesbian romances written by Salander, Ann Dougls (lesbian and hetero), Broken Spokes, J C McNeilly, J T Malone, Carey Thomas, Andaryll, Silk Stocking Lover (though I am less enthusiastic about D/S relationships) to name a few of my favorites, and now, it appears, You. What I enjoy is the attempt at believable dialogue, interesting perspectives on motivation, approach, sometimes struggles and the sheer craft of storytelling. Servemist’s comment is how he or she saw your effort and ought to encourage you that most stories, even by more veteran writers, can usually be improved. That said, your story, as well as your first one were excellent, else, I would not suggest it be read among the authors I mentioned. This was a delightful moment on an overcast day for me. It evoked smiles, laughter, feelings of joy (didn’t say tears, no one saw me, can’t prove a thing) and just the pleasure of a good read. I look forward to more. Now, if somehow you can conjure a lesbian vampire romance……. Keep up the good work.

Well done. Loved it. The prose is wonderful. I loved this line at the very end..."Anna's hands, informed by labor, situated the wedding band onto my finger." It's a great way to say that she grew up a hard worker without actually saying it.

I loved the story. I fell in love with the characters. I wish that Maddie's parents would have been more accepting of her relationship. Thank you for this heart warming story.

Great lesbian slow burn romantic story!! Well done. Worth a read. Had fun reading.

Wonderful story, thank you. I would also like a part two. I’m a sucker for a happy ending, I know it’s not always realistic but I can always hope for one.

I enjoyed your story very much(5 stars). I seem to remember Maddison's parents met Anna at the hospital when she broke her leg. I know that I am nitpicking. Like I said I enjoyed the story very much and am looking forward to many more of them. Keep up the good work.

I really enjoyed this story. Loved the characters and Maddie’s slow realisation she was falling for Anna. I did like it when Anna simply came out and said that she wanted to date, I wasn’t expecting that but it did fit with Anna’s character. I am off now to read your other story.

Long and riveting story. I just wish that Maddison’s family would have been able to get over themselves and support and surprise the girls on the wedding Day. dalefrw@icloud.com is my email from Canada

I really enjoyed reading this story. I thought some scenes, such as Anna asking Maddie on a date, were novel and felt authentic. But the ending felt a little flat to me. It seems abbreviated compared to the rest of the story; you devote more words to signing the contracts on a house sale than you do to the wedding. Also, there's a problem with the sequence of events in chapter one. During the conversation in the car Maddie knows that Anna has been a teacher for 10 years, which she doesn't learn until the end of that chapter.

I loved this story and the ever witty dialogue. I can only believe you, A_R, have a keen sense of humor. It’s definitely 5-stars and a favorite!

YASSSSSSSS. I need more. .....please.

I enjoyed the story and thought you developed it well. It had a nice slow build though not a lot of twists. I wondered if the one male teacher would cause some issues, but after the confrontation after the student complaint, he disappeared. Very sweet - good job.

I like happy endings … but I realise that family isn’t always as loving as they should be. Thanks for the enjoyable journey. ❤️

Wonderful story, great characters, lots of joy and some angst. Thank you for giving us a story I found hard to put down.

I read every word, and found it to be one of most romantic stories on this site. Thank you for sharing your work. It’s unfortunate that Maddie’s parents had that kind of view, but I know there are still so many ppl with their antiquated view.

Abby, you’ve done it again! Given us a beautifully written, fun and romantic story. With each word you took us on a long magical journey of true friendship to happy ever after. I fell in love with Anna and Maddison because you brought them to life, their quarks, silliness, thoughtfulness, and the way they felt for each other. life long lovers. You should be very proud of this story, thank you for taking the time to write and share it. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️!

This Virginia girl swooned all the way through <3

Outstanding story with good plotting, great characterization, and consistent pace throughout until you reached the end. Like a commenter below, I felt the ending was a trifle abrupt, or flat if you wish, but I suspect that it was the same issue that affects many writers; which is, after working long and hard on a story, one sometimes just runs out of creative steam at the end. Other than that and a few descriptive word choices I might quarrel with I found your work a very enjoyable and worthwhile read. If Literotica offered a more nuance grading/rating system I would rate this effort at 4.5 Stars, but will instead settle for 5. Thanks for your hard work.

Lovely story. I really enjoyed this one.

The hopeless romantic in me thoroughly enjoyed this story and I foumd myself becoming rather emotional when Anna sang the Elvis song and annoyed with Maddie's parents and also becoming rather over enthusiastic during the 'rocket' scene which was a real plus. At times your descriptive words were quite novel and I had never seen them used in the same context before, I am still trying to figure out how a nose snarls. But it all added to beauty of the story and a fully deserved five stars. Thank you for bringing a beaming smile to my face.

Beautiful love story!

Wonderful story and great characters. I loved it.

Thank you for this wonderful story. I loved loved loved it :) I'm going out to wreck my car now. I must find my Anna. Seriously though, it was such a sweet story with a very lovely couple. I wish they had a cat. I wish I was a cat. I wish I was their cat. Have a wonderful day Abby :)

pure romantic lovestory

Excellent storytelling, and some lovely prose. I was hoping Maddie's family would come around, but it was fine they didn't, because, after all, that is part of life. It does challenge our notions of genuine love tho. Love is easy when it is easy, but it is only real when it can make it past difficult challenges undiminished. Maddie's parents failed that test, because obviously their love was conditional. Anna's were a lovely counterpoint to that. I am a straight white guy just turned 70. I am sentimental to the core, and wishing the world were a kinder place. Romances like Maddie's and Anna's are a most welcome escape. Thank you, Abby Ray Your free gift to all of us is obviously much appreciated.

Oh......one last thing....your choice of Anna's wedding song to Maddie....Dean Martin's old theme song......I found that a fascinating choice.

You tell a very good story: deep and complex characters, great conflict and resolution, good back-stories and detail. The one aspect to consider is more physical description of you characters. Most readers visualize the characters, particularly in erotic scenes. While it may have been intentional, your physical descriptions were sparse, i.e., height, weight, stature (thin, thick, curvy, etc.), breast size/shape, skin tone/texture, shaved/not, etc. This can be worked in early on and then referred to in the erotic encounters. While basically only minor details for the overall story, it does add an extra dimension of visualization for the reader, allowing them to feel a more intimate presence with the characters and their passion. Cheers, CS

Excellent!

Thoroughly enjoyed this from start to finish. Great depth to the characters, including some very real issues faced by many. Bravo! 😁

I absolutely loved reading this. I love a good romance and this was such a well crafted story. I'll yell with glee if you post more. As an Ohioan I was thrilled she say Dean to Maddie and jealous. May the gods bless you with further inspiration and goodluck in all endeavors. Thanks.

It is a beautiful story, beautifully written, and if the arc of it relects your life, what a wonderful life, lived with great emotional courage.

Excellent story! Well developed themes and characters! Sex was hot and natural, made me wet! Hope to see more from you!

Best Regards,

Kathy

A thoroughly enjoyable story. You are a very talented writer. Thank you for sharing with us.

Excellent! I’ve had this story saved to read for a little while now and I’m kicking myself for not reading it sooner. I loved everything about it, but for some reason, I really loved that the girls just straight up fucked. It seems like most authors go the route of the two women making beautiful love. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great, but the comment “let’s fuck” really hit me. Again, excellent work. Five stars. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to your next one.

You’ve shared two slow burning lesbian romances and as a near hopeless romantic, I love both. Commented on Embrace, and not sure why I did not comment on this piece when first read. Just finished again, and like your first piece, great character development, an interesting/thought provoking storyline and intensely erotic scenes that are not gratuitous “add-ons”, rather integral to your story and characters. So, yes, to answer your question — did “get off on” this story in so many ways. Looking forward to more from your creative imagination. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Excellent story. I love slow burn romances and this one was perfect. The characters were great and the whole thing was very beautiful.

a very sweet and beautiful story. I teared up several times. Well written and well told, smooth and easy. The dialogue and story were very natural. I can't believe I read it through that quickly. Loved it and would love to read more from you.

Just amazing. Five stars from me. It would be more but I can only click once. I have a long tale in my head but lack the skill to put it into prose. Alas.

Five stars, nothing less. Great story!

House of sand ...... Absolutely unique crashing your car , an angel is coming for your rescue and then they become , already signed, co workers ...... But yeah life has some strange crooked straight curved lines

Oh my god "piano Man", playing an instrument is so wonderful ART and then a piano or saxophone for example are so extraordinary ...... I "envy" such talented people and yeah i feel so small compared to artists, like you explained perfectly here

Copy/paste

"It's absolutely correct," she defended. Her voice energized, "there are trillions of stars in each galaxy and there are billions of galaxies. And the light we see from these stars left millions of years ago. If you were near that star," she pointed upward in a general direction again, "you'd be seeing light that left Earth during the reign of the dinosaurs. That is, with a powerful-enough telescope."

Yes we forget the most simple being of the universe and we place the human race on top of "what", grains of sand ..... Oh yes we are sooooo "intelligent " the royal breed of the universe 😳 .... sarcasm

The Tattoo is the next wonderful enlightening ..... The Greatest Teacher, Failure Is

Everything fails or breaks, sooner or later, because everything is only composed, does not exist by itself .... A ZEN buddhistic enlightening, but humanity ignore such wisdom successful ...... So yes the humans greed for leaving imprints is just laughable

Now im commenting the tale in general, a absolutely gorgeous lovely romantic story about two beings falling in love and celebrate this love ...... Highlighting this love with a marriage and so the path down The future is clearly visible ...... A slow start a finery delicacy in coming together and building a solid grounding ...... I truly enjoyed your extraordinary writing skills and honor you with ten hearts

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝

Thank you for publishing this masterpiece

Great story. I agree with comments below about some word usage. The other thing that jumped out on reading this for the second time is when Madison says: "and at year ten of teaching, you're around thirty-two or thirty-three?" They have not yet talked about Anna being a teacher, as far as I could tell. I have feeling that this was a cut and paste error. Again something an editor would have caught. Three things I really liked:

1. The timeline was realistic.

2. The story was about the relationship and the sex was a part of the relationship, rather than the other way round.

3. And that realistically not every pair of homophobic parents sees the error of their ways. (Not that I speak from experience, as a straight male).

As a former Gamecock (the mascot of USC) I had to stop on page one to come point out that the University of South Carolina is located in Columbia, about 120 miles from Charleston. There is a College of Charleston, as well as Charleston Southern University (formerly Baptist College) that would work instead. But it immediately threw me out of the story.

Absolutely brilliant - no need to enlarge on the fabulous comments previously made. Thank you, and please carry on writing more like all your stories.

This is a lovely story!

I feel for Maddie and her family situation! But Anna's family happy acceptance of them as a couple was wonderful!

A really nice story!

Please continue with their lives, marriage and families!

Thank you for sharing this tale!

You have a nice feel to your writing!

I am not a romantic, but was touched by the love and commitment you engendered in this story. There must be thousands of couples trying to make it together in life only to be thwarted by bigotry, homophobia, family prejudices, opportunity and self-doubt. It is a wonder there are any happy endings.

This story touch me just as much, like the first time I read it.

It goes directly into my heart..

You are such a good writer, please continue the good work

Belinda

Of your three stories so far, (having reread the first and this one) I think this is really good - the best of the three.

This is my second time reading this story, and it was even sweeter, as I could sense the nuances you had included to help shape the characters of Anna and Maddie and their very different parents. The school setting was refreshingly accepting which is likely not true of many parts of the country. Keep up the good work.

A beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

Such a wonderful story. A repeat-read that never fails to make you fall in love with these two again and again. The perfect mix of sweetness, humor and tension. Thanks for sharing this lovely work.

Adored this! Loved the detail, the care, the slow burn nature of it. The scenes in the bar were superb and I very much admired your use of song.

Really hoping you're going to publish something again soon. x