House Ravenin - The Folded Path Pt. 03

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As we approached the outer gate of House Gour, two house guards stepped forward and halted us. Miris and I pulled upon the reigns of our horses and dismounted, dropping to the muddy road and approaching.

"Master Ravenin and Lord Miris to see Lord Gour at his immediate convenience," I authoritatively hummed, fierce blue eyes baked with determination. "It is urgent and cannot wait."

"Master Ravenin, it is inconvenient at this time to meet with Lord Gour," the guard humbly recited, shifting weary eyes between Miris and I. "We do not think it is wise to allow you entry."

Before I could say anything Miris stepped forward. The guards visibly snapped higher and tighter in his presence, a heavily mantled honor in their now rigid stance.

"We mean your Lord no harm, lads. I assure you, what we have to offer him will settle more problems then you know," Miris slowly said, his voice a warm thrum beneath however authoritative it might have been. "Please, allow us access and your Lord will praise you in the aftermath."

The guards spared glances at each other before they nodded and separated, opening the gate with practiced ease. "An escort then, Lord Miris, while we tend to your horses?"

"If you would be so kind," Miris said, smiling and placing a warm hand on each of their shoulders in passing. "Thank you, lads. Your service honors both our houses."

Both soldiers bowed in response to Miris' encouragement. One turned to tend the horses as the other marched in front of us, guiding our path up the smooth drive to the main manor of House Gour.

The main building was a two story affair, not sprawling like House Ravenin. It was built up into layers like a cake, wide at the bottom with two smaller ones above it. Supported by wide white stone at the corners and pillars of narrower make along the covered walkway around the base, the thick cedar poles that spaced out between the stone gave it an elderly, maintained appearance.

As we were guided by the guard down the outer breezeway, other guards snapped to attention in our passing. As though the single guard was a sponsor that opened the way, it was easy to see the eyes that respected Miris even as they paid deference to me. These were his people, probably those he once served with on the eastern border or those sons and daughters that had been taught the honor of bonds and brotherhood.

This was respect, Miris' word and presence with me meaning volumes in passing.

I adjusted my hearing as we walked, solely focusing on two voices that I knew were in the house somewhere. If Lenu's written missives had all reached their designated points, and things had gone as she surmised they would, then the inconvenience of our presence was directly related to it.

As I reached out with the Mantle of Keys, I found what I was looking for.

"What is all of this, Jansen?!" came the heavy voice of Lord Gour as we walked, tones lost to all but my aided hearing. "This letter, these notes...conspiracy? War crimes? The attack and raising of Crissone, our own property? Tell me this isn't some fiction that has been cooked up!"

"Father, House Ravenin has gone off the deep end with this," came Jansen's voice, a tremor apparent even as courtly discipline overrode the top of it. "This is more than an outright lie. They seek to depose us, smearing our name through the mud so they can take over our estate!"

Our feet clacked against the stones as Miris and I rounded the corner, continuing around the rim of the house. No words were spoken, no windows were open, yet still it was filled with accusations.

"Jansen, have you gone mad? House Ravenin has been our ally since your great-grandfather's rule. Never once have they given us reason to believe otherwise!" Lord Gour gruffly rumbled. "These words, this heinous plot and grievous implications...it was not done lightly nor without support to the cause."

"Then House Ravenin has more of an imagination then I ever thought possible. It brings cause to have them closely watched before they cover our house and allies with outright lies, ripping our family tree up by the roots!" Jansen countered, his voice dropping as we got to the main doors outside the greeting hall. "Now, if we could only gather our forces and strike first before they get wind of our intentions it would be-"

The silence that struck the greeting hall when we entered was palpable. Jansen was at the front corner of a thick mahogany desk, the room rife with short pillars lining a tan and gold-tasseled rug leading to it. He turned to face us as we entered, eyes wide in surprise before changing into gripping horror.

Lord Gour rose from his desk at the sudden intrusion. Thick gray hair was draped down the back of his head in a smooth wave, heavy gray eyes clearly burdened with a legacy he was aspiring to keep together. Miris stayed at the door as I continued into the room, helmet under my hand and eyes firmly on Lord Gour.

"Master Ravenin! What is the meaning of this outrage?!" roared Lord Gour, his gaze furious as he loudly slammed his field-tanned hands down upon the desktop. "You have come unbidden, unannounced, and unwelcome into my house!"

Lord Gour waved the missive around in his hand as I strode forward, my movements undaunted and evenly-paced toward the front of the desk. "You send word that House Gour has been involved in a far-reaching conspiracy, connecting us to a group that has been both inciting and supporting the border skirmish to the west! Your very presence here indicates that you have something planned!"

I had just taken the last step up to the desk when Lord Gour slammed his hand down again, thunderous like a freshly felled tree. "Out with it!" Lord Gour breathed out in heavy puffs, face red and angry.

I gave Lord Gour a few moments to catch his breath before I respectfully bowed, placing the crested helmet on his desk.

All the blood drained from Jansen's face within one glance at it, like his well-planned life had just crumbled before him. As his hands trembled his eyes grew wider, a barely perceptible whisper eking out through his lips. "How did you-?"

Lord Gour lifted the helmet up from the desk, a scrutinizing look replacing his anger. He examined it from every angle, turning it in the faint light before looking behind him toward where a rack of helmets was being displayed. One was clearly missing, no doubt the one he had in his hands.

When Lord Gour turned back to me only a mecum of anger was still there, along with an open, serious question. "Where did you get this? How did it come to be in your possession? It has been missing for months."

"Lord Gour, this helmet was recovered from Ul'Uril, the Skybreaker Mountains, far to the northwest beyond the western border and north of Gar-O-Nitao by many leagues," I cleanly recited, careful not to miss one word or inflection. "It was found wrapped in a blood-covered tabard, the cloth woven with the merged symbols of three independent houses. The symbol of House Gour, two vertical swords pointed downward, was one of the markings. After a thorough investigation done, it was found that the merged symbol was the marking proclaimed by the mercenary group that has been waging the open aggression upon the western border."

"Lord Gour, your House was implicated as being a part of these events detailed in the missive you've received by Lady Lenu of House Verrashao, ward of House Ravenin and liaison of Illunais," I offered. "I had no hand in the dictation, investigation, nor implications found thereof. I only wished to return a valued item of House Gour's, the helmet of Grandai Gour who fought during the Inclusion War many years ago, in honor of his service to the people he helped bring together so many years ago."

"I have no reason to believe, Lord Gour, that you are personally included in the implications," I finished, taking a step back.

Lord Gour's eyebrows drew tight together as he rolled the helmet in his hands. "That makes no sense, Master Ravenin. House Gour has been clearly implicated in this. If you do not believe I am involved, then who do you-?"

The cold block of revelation fell cleanly into place within Lord Gour's gray eyes, a slow pan of his increasingly weary gaze settling firmly upon Jansen who stood forward and to his left. The width of the desk was between them; a distance in feet that could be crossed in seconds.

"Jansen?" asked Lord Gour in disbelief, the fight leaving his voice as he gave into the only truth that remained. "What have you done?"

Jansen didn't even try to defend his actions. He merely turned and fled toward the open door, seeking to muscle past Miris and escape to his friends beyond the border.

My Captain of the Guard's arm quickly snapped out, sweeping in a arc toward an unsuspecting Jansen. The young lord took the blow full in the center of his chest, knocking him backwards and off his feet to land with a thud on the tasseled rug. I imagine it was like getting hit with a log of granite, as winded as Jansen looked sprawled on the ground. He'd of had better luck looking to a rock slide for sympathy than Miris.

"Thank you, Lord Miris, for you dedicated service to House Ravenin and House Gour," I hummed, knowingly nodding to Miris.

Miris sniffed once before straightening his posture, slightly tugging on his woven sash of leadership and letting a rather proud look overtake his demeanor. He couldn't keep the grin off his face. "My honor to serve, Master and Lord."

"Guards, detain Lord Jansen for the time being until this whole ridiculous debacle can be sorted out," Lord Gour commanded.

Three guards quickly filed in from the outside hallway and restrained Jansen, taking him into custody. Jansen was still clearly dazed as they drug him off, Lord Gour turning his attentions back to me when his son was out of sight.

"Master Ravenin, I had no idea that my own son was involved in this," Lord Gour offered in disbelief. "If this missive is true then many things need to be set right in a quick amount of time."

"Lord Gour, it should please you to be informed that those responsible for the border skirmish assaults have been brought into custody. The mercenary group has been fractured, the houses responsible in the process of being brought to justice," I honestly stated. "House Gour, known to be honorable and just, is the last to be served. I cannot tell you how to go forth from this, Lord, though I would suggest that a public announcement be made in order to clear the family name from any wrongdoing. You have House Ravenin's support, if the need arises."

Lord Gour carefully watched me as he settled back into his seat, rubbing a calm hand over the crest of the helmet. "Why would Jansen do this? He had everything he wanted, set to take over the House and estate properly when I handed it down to him."

I nodded and stepped up to the desk, the next words hard for me to say. "Lord Gour? An entire civilization was destroyed at Ul'Uril, one where the helmet was found. It is my belief that it was placed there on purpose."

"To what end, though?" Lord Gour asked. "What does Jansen gain by inciting such deception?"

I choked back the words, then swallowed and said them. "To escalate his ascension."

Lord Gour looked up at me in disquieting revelation, a man who has just been told that his son had plotted to overthrow and possibly kill him. He didn't seem surprised, not after allowing the previous events to settle in. "Master Ravenin, thank you for bringing this to my attention. It is my hopes that our houses can continue to support each other in the times that come after."

"House Ravenin stands ready to assist you, Lord Gour. May our houses always know peace, through good times and bad." I bowed again, rose, then turned and strode back to the front of the hall.

I was by Miris' side in moments, a nod leading him to turn on his heels and stride next to me as we walked the breezeway back to our horses. Soldiers saluted or nodded as we left, leaving us unaccosted all the way to the outer gate.

While we were readying our horses for departure, a disturbance happening on the inside of the grounds of House Gour drew our attention. Miris and I turned to see Jansen charging down the lane, saber in hand and furious. Guards rushed from the estate behind him, those at the gate turning only quick enough to be stabbed with steel and brought down to their knees.

Hundreds of things could have happened in the next precious moments, Jansen glaring heated daggers as he strode that dozen steps toward us, for many ways slipped into my thoughts of what necessity called for.

A son of a noble Lord attacking another at broad daylight, in front of dozens of witnesses, told me that Jansen wasn't planning to escape judgment or persecution. The look in his eyes said he'd never see his trial, that door slamming closed behind him as soon as he stabbed his own house guards. He expected to die, and he demanded a life be taken in balance: Mine.

How to stop him? Should I stop him? What were the limits of gentility and nobility and stupidity?

Luckily, I didn't have to ponder anything past those initial flares of wonder. The sky was clear, bright and spring-like in its expression, before it suddenly turned dark and heavy. A black storm quickly rolled in, effortlessly shattering the peace of it all.

The menacing clouds rode in on a fierce headwind coming in fast from the west, a thick rug of dark gray spreading out across the perfect blue sky. It was followed by a black sheet of clouds layered above it, peeking through the rolling gray before dominating the sky with its intensity. The wind hit me first, cold and bitter like an unrelenting winter, before thunder hammered like a drum of omnipotence shaking the air with intensity.

Jansen was six paces away, wind blowing in a straight line and tightening the skin on his face, as lightning snapped through the sky in a blistering white arc and struck hard between us halting his advance. The horses jerked, startled and scared witless in the aftermath, leaving Miris and I standing tall as Ulizu appeared in the space between us and Jansen.

Jansen was on the ground, saber black and melted with his hand soot-covered and shaking horribly. His gray eyes were terrified, glazed with disbelief and horror, staring at a creature birthed from a legend appearing right in front of him.

"House Ra'Ve'Nin, The Barons of Storm, have spoken," Ulizu calmly muttered, its body crackling with fiercely sizzling ozone as vines of white lightning aggressively stalked around its feet.

Ulizu's blue-white eyes stared a storms' impending wrath into Jansen, the warning so stark and blunt it hammered its point home with deafening authority. Another flash of lightning found Ulizu cast back into the clouds, the air still heavy from its lingering presence. We watched as the storm clouds slowly receded, retreating back to the west to the tune of powerful thunder in its ominous wake.

The spring day slowly returned, edging away the overwhelming display, as Jansen stared at us from the ground. His gaze was filled with unbelievable horror at what he'd just experienced, as though he'd just kicked a bear that had been soundly sleeping and was surprised when it awoke and powerfully roared at him.

I don't know what Jansen had foreseen or expected when he'd decided to take this path, but it wasn't Ulizu. That had been a dire miscalculation, in all ways he had been unprepared to accept.

Something akin to respect flashed through Jansen's eyes as he was picked up and dragged away back to the estate. He didn't resist or struggle, and I never saw him again. Just as well.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After we arrived back at House Ravenin, I politely parted company with Miris before going to check on Atarah. She was sound asleep and softly snoring in the dark den of her room, the Nirania glowing and lovely between the dawn stones.

I gently kissed Atarah on the cheek then softly hummed against her skin, a warm smile appearing on her sleepy face as a soft orange glow outlined her lovely features. A soft sigh and a hum of her own followed, the blue glow of the dawn stone joining with the orange leaving no question as to where she wanted to belong.

Upon exiting and closing the door to Atarah's room I traveled further down the hallway, catching sight of Xia and Alasia in the den as I passed by. Both of them were hunched over her writing desk, pointing out words and diligently working on some proposal that both their eyes were keenly acute to. They looked up as I passed and respectfully bowed, gracious smiles beaming on their faces as I politely returned the gesture.

Lenu's voice could be heard as I slowly walked down the red carpet tasseled with gold. The door to her dedicated liaison office open, allowing a lovely breeze to wistfully play through the open bay windows.

Lenu was on the short balcony overlooking the estate, glowing and lovely in the sun as a few Widdowveils happily burbled in her palm. She brought them down to Kan's amazed gaze as Ylil watched and smiled nearby, his happiness easily flowing into hers. Lenu caught sight of me and kindly nodded in my direction, returning her attention back to the pair being tended to in her office.

I exited onto a balcony at the end of the hallway, encouraged to see Ignia down on the grounds of the estate. He moved with practiced ease back and forth between the orchard trees, checking the workers and assisting them when they needed help.

As though feeling my presence Ignia looked up and respectfully nodded, a kind gesture from a noble Nenis that had accepted his role and place in this house. It was plain to see in his peaceful gaze that this was one thing, the planting and beginning of something new, he wanted to experience and thrive at.

Being the Master of House Ravenin, it didn't take long until servants of every shape and color came to me with documents to sign, proposals to look over, guests to accept, and agreements to be met out. I did it all with ease of practice and generations of training to lean on, taking each step one at a time in the manner that would see our House prosper and our people protected.

My Pillars glowed and sung beautifully in my mind, their endless support and love something I would lean on in the trying times to come. They too would lean on me, for our roles supported each other in every conceivable way. The Master served the Path, the Path served the people, and the people served the Master.

The Folded Path, in all its glory and honor, stretched out before us. We would walk it together, side by side, until peace found us all. I could think of no better Path to be on.

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DistantConstellationDistantConstellationabout 1 year ago

MasterR - this story is unique, and very ambitious. I enjoyed it hugely.

The writing style you chose is difficult to pull off. I think it had to sound a bit archaic and formal, because the entire framework of the Path is that way, and living the Folded Path means owning truths and the joy of reciprocal obligations of service and honor that are created in an instant, but also inherited from generation to generation through centuries. Words carry centuries, even millennia, of history within their evolution of meaning; using the old words, and old ways and rhythms of language, reinforces the central thesis of the world you've created.

The thing is - if there are also simple grammatical mistakes, archaisms can sound like errors, not brilliance.

The most common true errors here are spelling homonyms - things like "taught" when you mean "taut", or "eminent" when you mean "imminent" or 'allude" when you mean "elude", alongside the very conventional errors of "it's" when you mean "its" and "you're" when you mean "your", and the construction of compound pronoun phrases in ways that misuse objective or nominative pronouns ("her and I" will always be wrong, for example; if "her" is correct, the "I" needs to be "me").

These errors get in the way of, and can entangle the reader's desire to feel, the real word magic I think you're working here. For example, you use "whom". Current English often ignores "whom" - when it's used, it's starting to sound archaic, and I think when you use it, that's the emotional punch you want it to have.

But if that's what you're striving for, be careful to use it right. It isn't, historically, a substitute for "who". It's the object form of "who;" using "whom" where "who" is correct to an ear that truly appreciates the evolving history of English might sound archaic, but mostly it'll sound like you missed your target, because it also sounds wrong.

If you don't catch homonym errors or grammar errors (and these days, few of us have editors who are really really good at that!) then it interferes with the reader's appreciation of word choices and grammar that I believe you mean to evoke the transmitted meme-truth of centuries, the consistency and dept of meaning even as forms change. You really don't want your reader saying "hmm - is this one an intended archaism or just a mistake?"

If you clean that up, really cool stuff starts to emerge.

For example at one point you use "brunt" in an unusual way. Now, "brunt" is something you face as the bulk of the opposing power and energy, whether of natural phenomena ("brunt of the storm") or of organized forces ("brunt of the attack"). But it is not power and energy itself; it's the center of moving mass against you. You have Mirakantao use it in that normal way on page 13 of part 2.

Normally it's not an attribute of an organization or family. One would not, ordinarily, say "a family's artistic brunt" even if you're talking about the Picasso clan. So in part 3 on page 1 when you say "...House Ciav, high family of Illunais. With their diplomatic brunt, dishonorable laws could be passed very unusual to see... " this reader is a bit taken aback, but also a bit intrigued.

My first reaction - someone might face the brunt of House Ciav's diplomatic effort, or you might say the brunt of their attack came through diplomacy - but "their diplomatic brunt" is - odd. Was it an error, and you meant "tendency" or "significant talent and skill?" Perhaps were searching for "diplomatic bent" not "diplomatic brunt", as in "he had a musical bent" or "she had a mathematical bent" or "The Picasso family had an artistic bent."

But - I think maybe you're not picking the wrong word off the shelf; I think you're inviting the reader to see an old word in a new and complex way. Which is a very "Folded Path" thing to do. And I like it, and other similarly ambiguous spots, very much. So if you did it on purpose, good on you! That kind of thing makes the reader a participant in the Folded Path, as - without explaining it - you let an unusual word choice and usage open quite a new window on meaning.

So I think it's appropriate to say well done!

Just it'll work better if you clean up the simple homonym and grammar errors. Then your readers won't be left wondering whether they're reading an error, or whether they're reading the supremely subtle use of forms of language of a true - let's say, Master of Language.

PS - anytime one writes to coach another about grammar or spelling, and lacks a really good editor, Skitt's Law comes into play. Please forgive spelling and grammatical errors you may find in this comment. I console myself with the old adage - those who can't do, (at least might) teach.

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