All Comments on 'Housemates: The Newbie'

For the love of God, would you please pick one tense, preferably past tense, and stick with it? Jumping back and forth is annoying at best and irritating as hell at worst. You even managed to use both past and present tense within one sentence. And if you don’t understand this issue, please get an editor.

I see the always anonymous grammar Nazis have already shown up. On the other hand, I enjoyed your story, and, as a retired professor of English I know a bit of grammar myself. I do, however, make an effort to get out of grading papers mode when reading a fun tale. Keep writing. Imagination is far more important than mechanics, whether writing or in the bedroom. If you do decide to use an editor, keep me in mind.

Fantastic story line and the descriptions are wonderful! Thanks for sharing.

Very nice story---clever, fun, and sexy. I really liked the way you switched back and forth between the characters as they read each other's texts, and the way you started the story with Graeme alone in his bed and ended with Lauren alone in hers. And the idea of Graeme taking the tea up to the wrong room. And the banter and the building excitement. The two characters come through so well, as does the crazy sense of I-can't-really-believe-that-this-is-happening-and-there-are-so-many-reasons-that-it's-probably-not-a-good-idea-but... Well done. Thanks for sharing it.

I really loved the rapport you created between the characters. It was laugh out loud funny and the sexy bits were very sexy. Did he know he was so submissive, or did it just dawn on him in the moment?

Either way, loved it. More please!