Housemates: The Newbie

"That sounds amazing," Graeme is massaging her calves and looks her in the eyes with a look of pure sincerity when he says this, which Lauren finds hot and funny at the same time.

She nestles into the pillows, closes her eyes and, for once, lives for the moment. Reluctant to go full-on centre-fold, she lets Graeme take the lead. He kisses and strokes her calves (he finds them shapely and sexy - she's never liked them) before kissing her thighs and sliding them open with gentle firmness. Taking his time, Graeme kisses and licks inside her thighs and then, making her gasp, slowly pushes his tongue inside her. Lauren sinks further back as he slides his hands underneath her and gives her butt a firm squeeze and finds her clit with his tongue. Instinctively, she reaches down and holds him by his shock of black hair, opening her legs wider and pressing his face to her now soaking pussy.

Graeme is lost in heaven when Lauren pulls his hair a little more sharply and tells him to kiss her. Reluctant to let his lips leave her body, he kisses her outcrop of dark pubes, savours her chubby tummy and brushes his lips across her breasts. Falling into the pillows next to her, they share a long and indulgent kiss, Lauren's tongue lapping up her own juices, and nearly sending Graeme over the edge.

To stop something foolish from happening, Lauren suddenly sits up and looks down at Graeme. He's red and flustered and still miraculously wearing his glasses.

"Is everything OK?" he asks.

"Yeah, of course," she smiles down at him, "it's just that I really need you to put a condom on."

"Oh god, I'm sorry I didn't bring one, I didn't really expect..."

"It's OK, I have one - top drawer."

Enjoying another survey of his bum as he leans over to the drawer, Lauren runs her hand up his leg and strokes his cock as he fumbles around.

"You're taking your time."

"That's cruel!" said Graeme, trying to concentrate on sifting through the detritus of Lauren's drawer.

"Should I stop?"

"Maybe it's more of a cruel to be kind scenario."

"Do you need me to come over..."

"Found it!" Graeme is triumphantly holding aloft a battered Durex she'd originally bought for shitty sex with her weedy ex.

"Don't put it on yet," said Lauren, enjoying the size of him in her hand and how hard and helpless he is lay before her.

"OK," said Graeme, his hand tracing the curve of her back and hips and sliding over to indulge in the substantial contours of her chunky bum. "You're amazing."

"Mmm and you're so hard, I'm going to need your cock in me very soon," said Lauren, suppressing the urge to sit on it there and then.

"I'll do whatever you want Lauren."

"I want you to fuck me hard."

"Mmm, where, I mean how?" said Graeme, tripping over his words.

"From behind - and now."

Manoeuvring Graeme out of the way, Lauren makes herself comfortable in the pillows and pokes her bum in the air. Graeme, fiddling with the condom wrapper, looks up to see Lauren's voluptuous ass and immediately drops what he's doing. He gazes at her beautiful pussy, framed by soft thighs, while running his hands up her legs. As he takes hold of her by the hips, Lauren's hand appears and starts to rub her clit, her moans responding to his touch. Caressing her bum, Graeme gives each cheek a hungry kiss and enjoys the jolt of delight that shudders through Lauren's body. Pulling her cheeks slightly apart, he once again kisses her and hears her moans get louder and sees her fingers move from her clit and into her pussy. Now exposing her with his hands, he kisses around her tight, perfect hole and she pushes her bum closer to his face and lets out a 'fuck'.

Face buried between her luscious cheeks and feeling like the luckiest man alive, Graeme suddenly feels selfish. Reaching into the folds of the duvet, he hopes he can make Lauren cum again and again; forever holding himself off, like some selfless sex monk. Retrieving the condom and putting it on, he looks up to see Lauren and realises he'll be lucky to last a minute.

She is still rubbing her pussy, and he takes her hand away, replacing her fingers with the tip of his cock. She lets out a loud moan, and he fucks her slowly, his cock deeper inside her with every motion, his hands all over her ass and hips. She pushes her head into the pillows and pokes her bum further in the air, helping him to fill her completely. Gripping her more tightly, he fucks her hard. Suddenly, everything gets louder: the slap of his thighs against her butt and the thump of the headboard against the wall failing to drown out their moans. Lauren, banishing all thoughts of how she will face her other housemates after this, enjoys a profane and noisy orgasm. Hearing her moan and swear and seeing her grip the pillows is too much for Graeme. He cums too, leaving his cock deep inside her and letting his hands drop from her hips to her tummy, adoring the fullness of her body.

Collapsing next to one another, clammy and contented, Lauren and Graeme share a look of bafflement at what just happened. Leaning in to kiss her, Graeme diverts from her lips when he remembers what he'd been doing a few minutes earlier. Kissing her neck, he slides a hand down her back and over her bum and guides her leg over him. Nestling into her soft shoulders and mumbling "you're amazing" he almost succumbs to sleep before Lauren pinches his bum.

"You're a right one, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well popping into my room, saying hello, having your way, then having a kip in my bed."

"I'm sorry," said Graeme sheepishly while nestling closer to her.

"I guess it's OK," said Lauren, stroking his hair and enjoying the cuddle, "but does this mean that the attentive man I was promised disappears as soon as he's got what he wants?"

"No," mumbled Graeme, "but he does need a little bit of time."

"I know he does," said Lauren, smiling, "but I need to visit the bathroom so you'll have to move, I'm afraid."

Pulling himself up to a sitting position, Graeme watches her hurry to the en-suite and hopes he hasn't blown it. He'd love to take her out for breakfast, but the heat and the after-effects of his late-night are making him woozy, and he needs sugar and sleep desperately. Looking down, he realises his condom is still on. He decides to take it back to his room rather than leaving it as a mortifying memento in Lauren's paper basket. She comes back into the room in a short and silky dressing gown, and he hopes to god he hasn't blown it. He's sat on the edge of the bed pulling his boxers on, and they both suddenly feel like what they are; two people who have known each other for a couple of hours.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run off then," Lauren said, to fill the silence.

"It's OK."


Lauren climbs back into bed and props herself up in the cushions. Graeme is holding his socks in his hands, seemingly debating whether to put them back on.

"What are you thinking?" she asks.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"That I'm so tired," he laughs, "but also I'm hoping we'll be able to meet up again and do something a bit more, um, normal."

"Well I'm sure we'll meet again Graeme, you live downstairs remember."

"At least it's a short walk of shame."

"I do have one question, though - if it's OK. It's quite a serious one." Lauren's face is suddenly sombre.

"What is it?"

"Is this how you're going to introduce yourself to all the housemates?"

"Of course," said Graeme, with a relieved chuckle, "I'll have a wee nap and pop next door this afternoon."

"IT Andy," grinned Lauren, "excellent choice, Graeme."

Graeme groans. "I'm not sure I can face meeting other people today. You'll have to tell me what to expect."

"I'm sure I can do that. But I think we both need to freshen up now don't we."

"Yeah, of course, sorry," said Graeme, relieved to be released but apprehensive about the caginess creeping into the conversation.

Graeme puts his dressing gown on and heads for the door. Turning around, he finds Lauren looking at him curiously, resplendent in the summer sun.

"Well, thank you for a lovely morning, and it's really nice meeting you," said Graeme, instantly regretting the formality.

"Delighted to make your acquaintance Graeme," she smiles back.

"I'll, um, hopefully see you soon," said Graeme, faltering between a question and an assertion and coming up with nothing.

"I'd really like to see you again Graeme," said Lauren, deciding to put him out of his misery, "now go and sleep and make sure you're fully clothed the next time you come up here."

"OK, thank you, hope you have a good morning."

"You too."


***

Five minutes later, Lauren is enjoying respite from the heat with a cool shower. The en-suite is an ingenious arrangement of sink, toilet and coffin-shaped shower cubicle - all in a space the size of a roomy cupboard. Despite the tepid temperature of the water, the en-suite has the ecosystem of a rainforest and condensation is forming on every available surface. She recalls her ex slipping under the water with her one morning - only to beat an awkward retreat when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs while he washed her bum. This elicits a gleeful chuckle.

Massaging shampoo into her scalp, Lauren tries to cast aside thoughts of steam-powered mildew further colonising the shower cubicle (a worrying sign that her mum's OCD tendencies are creeping in). It's a job that needs doing and the bottle of bathroom cleaner outside the cubicle is a reminder of the mundane morning she might have had. Rinsing her hair, her thoughts turn to Graeme and the morning she did have. Resisting the temptation to stage a full-on inquisition into her behaviour, Lauren settles on enjoying the afterglow of her orgasm and dwelling on the chemistry that was undoubtedly there between them.

Back in the bedroom, Lauren decides she needs a boozy lunch and chat. Running through her mental Rolodex, she settles on Hannah as her least judgemental and most-susceptible-to-lunchtime-wine friend. Hannah replies quickly and they arrange to go for a Mexican, Lauren in the mood for spicy food and cocktails with a kick. Pleased to have a plan, she falls naked on the bed and savours the prospect of an hour's free time before she needs to get ready for lunch.

Sinking into the bed with her eyes closed, Lauren wonders how significant this morning will be. She certainly feels transformed from the woman who opened her eyes to the one lying there now, just a couple of hours later. She feels confident and desired and a bit like Samantha in Sex and the City - which is no bad thing.

Tempting fate, she allows herself a fleeting glimpse into the near-future. A drink at the local, were they get on great. Calling her mum on the way home from work and name-dropping Graeme, from the Highlands. Getting the seal of approval from her friends after he's charmed them at Natasha's wedding in October. Him not in the process of texting his mates, bragging about bagging a housemate 24 hours after moving in.

She wishes for an omen, something to reassure her that her morning of abandonment wasn't a mistake. The hours after a first date are always painful, waiting for the verdict to be delivered by text: 'you're great but...' or 'can I see you again?'. And, even if you both like each other, there are the unwritten conventions of internet dating to navigate. Message too quickly and you seem overly eager, message too late and you're aloof and not that interested. Just as she decides she'd love a message from him right now, she hears a deep, earthly rumbling emanating from the floor. Bewildered, she hears her phone and sees a text from Andy from downstairs.

'Have you heard the new boy? He snores like a f**king train 🤬'

Sighing, Lauren decides to leave the interpretation of that particular omen to Hannah. With 55 glorious minutes of unclaimed time remaining, she dozes off, thinking they will definitely need to fabricate an alternative first date when telling people how they met.