All Comments on 'How Do I Get Out of This? Ch. 01'

please write part 2.... it was really good and i would like to know more.

write part 2 please? :)

You need an editor.

No more than anyone else on here and less than some. Great beginning! Would love to know more. My only criticism is it seemed a little rushed. Take your time, this story is worth it. Good luck

My warmest 'Thanks' to you. You are right on all accounts . I am a bit on shorter stories and I realize my inhibitions regarding my sex scenes.

So Mark was Stephen and he was a cop. Please continue with the story. It is compelling so far. Keep it up. I have written a few as well and know how much work they can be. Go to the forums for volunteer editors. Claud137

I like this one. Original and well written. I'm not sure why someone suggested an editor, as nothing leaped out at me, and I teach college English.

Very original plotline, I've liked the clever twist at the end. I hope you will be writing a second chapter; I'm looking forward to reading it. Please don’t keep us waiting too long.

I liked the struggle of Stephen to avoid falling in love. Very deep male insight. Waiting for part 2!

After what she have been through why nobody bothers to see her safe and sound to her home? It seems unfair to leave her on her own given the circumstances.

I like the general direction of the story and the characters so far, BUT, in your efforts to keep things mysterious, the story does have a lot of a vague space. Why did she get jumped in the first place? Any gang that's out to rob her, would just rob her. Obviously they weren't human traffickers or she would never have been let free. Drug dealers? Most big time drug dealers don't bother with mugging people on the street. The minimum sentences involved in drug trafficking make mugging an unwise sideline in case they're caught.

Plus, if after a couple days she hasn't had any side effects from a concussion, it's unlikely she's going to. A concussion isn't the same as a subdural hematoma or anything. A single concussion carries very little in the way of long term risk.

Then, about his language. Sometimes his sentences lack conjunctions or articles, making his dialogue seem stilted.

Finally, on the subject of psychiatric care: Police cannot order psychiatric care for anyone not in custody. In fact, even for people in custody, it is the courts (in other words a Judge) that has to order psychiatric care. The police could alert her college counselor that she was the victim of a crime and that crime may have had psychological effects, but she has to voluntarily agree to any therapy or treatment.

Honestly, this story could have been at least a page longer and still kept the mystery. As it stands, much of it seems to be left vague for vagaries' sake and that is poor story construction. I did give it four stars, because it's good...just not as good as it could be.