All Comments on 'How I Met Sheri Pt. 01'

You make her sound so gorgeous... I want her myself. Dam good story. Very sexy and thrilling. Need more soon.

This is my first attempt at writing a story. So feedback is appreciated, but try to be kind about it, thanks.

I really enjoyed the whole story, enjoyable to the end. That being said, how it was written was throwing me off the entire time. WAY too many uses of the breaking the sentence being said with who said. I'd say use more sparingly and keep it mostly at the beginning or end of the quote like normal. It helps the reader since they are used to that more traditional writing style.

Great story, i usually prefer stories where it goes both ways giving and taking. also not a fan of the constant breaks in each sentence really ruined the experience.

Just want to say thank you for writing a nice story about a transgendered person. Unfortunately stories like these are few are far between these days in this section.

Hopefully we get more and to see where this story goes.

Although one minor pet peeve for the writing style would be the breaking up of the sentences being too frequent as it breaks the flow of the reading a bit. 5*

I like the story, charactors are great. Dr Z is right please rethink breakway sentences. Look forward to future stores.

This is the type of storey I enjoy slow build up getting to know the chatachters and this did not disappoint looking forward to part 2 hopefully soon

Dude. Your grammar needs work. Stop breaking up quotes with “c said” or “j said” it’s really distracting and makes the story really fucking hard to follow.

This is a really good story. I don’t know where its gonna go, but I look forward to seeing more

I’m a fan of stories where it goes both ways. A little too straight for me, besides hire an editor because the punctuation is garbage.

So nice to see "to be continued". I can't wait to read more of this story, and I hope the second part is as long as the first part. Though you might pick up Grammarly for an extra proofreading aid.

I’ve started editing my next stories to fix the grammar issues. Like I said, it’s my 1st time writing a story, so I will make mistakes. I’ve already written 6 follow ups to this series, and hope to add more.

the syntax was fucking atrocious. Don't break up a sentence with the subject on one side and the rest on the other.

I loved this story from beginning to end of chapter and can not wait to read the next one(s).

The story was great, but some of the grammar issues broke the story flow

Great story, but... and this is important as fuck.

"Fuck it, I'm...," I said looking at Christie, "gonna dance!"

Stop this at all costs... Do not break up every single spoken sentence.. its jarring and detracts from reading flow.

"Fuck it, I'm gonna dance!" I said looking at Christie.

The big problem with this entire story, is that you do this to 95% of all spoken sentences. Its a gimmick to make that breakdown, and its a bad gimmick. Use it once in a blue moon, and never again.

terrible sentence structure. as someone already said,

'"Fuck it, I'm...," I said looking at Christie, "gonna dance!"'

should be: "Fuck it, I'm gonna dance!" I said looking at Christie.

or move the 'I'm' part to read:

"Fuck it," I said looking at Christie, "I'm gonna dance!"

I can only agree with most of the commenters that your sentence structure is all to pot.

But then again, splitting the infinitive or whatever you've been doing is fine once in a while. It can be used to display a character's idiosyncrasies but not throughout an entire story.

Nevertheless, a fascinating and even breathtaking tale that had me dodging the splitting while loving the story.

Loved where the story was taking the characters, but I couldn’t finish it. See below.

place the speakers words before or after the sentence. By placing the speaker in the middle of the sentence it takes away from the idea you are attempting to make and it takes longer to read because you have to piece the first and last part of the sentence together to understand better.

The story is interesting and I'd like to see where it is going but there were no new chapters in 2023.