All Comments on 'How It All Began'

If all you want to write is wank fantasy, then you have that here. If you ant to write real stories then you have some work to do. What you have written here is male fantasy nonsense. It's "I've got a big dick and women can't resist me" BS. Again that's fine if all you want is wank fantasy, but to write a story you have to do more. Stories have to be true. That is they have to reflect reality. One important reality is that women are not just men with vaginas. But that's all you've written here. Another truth that you can find out is that most women in loving happy marriages don't cheat, especially just to get some strange big dick in a car. So as a reader, if this is "How It All Began" then I don't care about what happens after.

MaFrepler pretty much stated what I'm thinking. As a confession or a quick "wank fantasy", this is what it is. If this is to become a story, it requires an actual plot with a beginning, a middle, and an end -- and hopefully some lesson learned or other insight gained.

If nothing else, it's good to see a few new writers today. The LW sharks aren't biting as hard as usual. Maybe yesterday softened their jaws a little? Maybe I'm just being optimistic.

"'your so fucking tight"

If English isn't your second language YOUR teachers won't be happy with you.

And a better proof reader. And then you really need a better story.

Wow, some harsh critiques there, but, I loved your story.

Short and a bit 'factual', but hey, that is how life is sometimes.

It feels like this really was a memoir of your first fling, so,... how about telling us the others? Or, embellish this wild and erotic carpark seduction with followup and let your fantasy run riot.

Good on you for writing it and sharing. Please give us (or at least me) more.

Thanks and good luck

please dont continue, in fact just kill your self k. thanks

bye

,,,Not bad at all probably just like your first affair but you are writing for the public at large so don't feel that you have to tell exactly how it happened as life is unpredictable and messy.

The things that you should include are what triggered your decision to cheat? Was your husband not taking care of business? Did you feel life was passing you by? That kind of thing and if it really was how you wrote it you will be pleased to note that authors have something called 'Poetic licence' which allows you to divert from what actually happened in the interest of the story's readability

I wish you luck You'll need it if you intend to keep posting to the Loving Wife genre.

One last thing it might be a good idea to preface your story with something like you have chosen a story whose subject matter is cheating, hotwife, if this isn't your thing may I suggest you try one of our other authors etc.

I'll look forward to reading your next story.

Drooge hit the nail on the head.

More description, more feelings, more subtle

Find a proof reader or editor and keep going.

No, it's not perfect, but it sounds like a true confession to me. The low marks and rude comments are from those here that comprise the "Morality Police". They come here just to try to impose their narrow-minded thinking on the rest of us. I think they don't even read the stories. They just see the description, scroll to the end, give a low rating, make rude comments, and hide under the "Anonymous" label. I liked your story! And the fact that you mentioned a Ford 550 hemi makes me believe you are indeed female! Keep writing. Ignore the jerks.

It's a good journal entry, and you have made it interesting--but for it to be a good story you need a change of style. Rather than try to point out specifics, I suggest you read several of the high scoring entries and and some books on creative writing.

This isn't intended to discourage you in any way; rather I think you show real talent. Good Luck with your next story.

I foresee an curb and a footprint on your cheating ass sometime in the future...

Pretty hot but what a cheating pig you are. Hope hubby finds out and divorces you. It's a real how many people are cheating out there just like this . I know way to many which means there really 5 x that. Hate to see when the married couple is walking around town holding hands and seem like the perfect family when just that day another neighborhood guy was fucking her ass in some hotel room. Sad

1*

Sorry but she got what she deserved and wanted to happen. She could have stopped it at any time.

Which is exactly why you tell your spouse, unless you want the seduction, which she does. So, you write cheating whore story 4,569, but with the totally new and original element of, help me out here, . . . nothing. And you aspire to recopy the same basic story, joining thousands of previous story copiers, why?

Its OK, you don't have to explain yourself, its obvious. You are weak and self-indulgent and bored and lonely. Its nice you have this way to fantasize about having an exciting sex life and be admired and desired. Your enjoyment of wife betrayal and husband humiliation is sad, if not sick. I hope your life improves, if not your values. Take care.

Don't listen to these guys. I love the story myself. I have always loved cheating stories and if they are so offended don't read. Keep up the god work and i look forward to your other stories. If they have changed your mind about sharing them i would be glad to read them. dvilleman1975@yahoo.com

@dvilleman1975 thank you for the compliment. I'm glad you like my story. The negative comments haven't steered my away, people are assholes and the ones making the rude comments shouldn't be on this site if all they are going to do is bitch and moan. Life's too short, have fun. Enjoy life. We shouldn't judge other people.

I agree with dvilleman, ignore the negative comments. All are from anonymous sources who don't have the courage to say who they are.

I liked it, it got a stir out of me. I think readers forget that this is an "erotic" literature website. If this doesn't turn you on, then move along. Some of these people want revenge, BTB, etc but damn, that's fucked up if killing a cheating spouse is what turns you on.

Don't stop, please give us more of your memoirs

great story... Love those Flashbacks

another illiterate WHORE posting cuck shit.

There is no such animal, although that may have been deliberate, a way of describing a type of vehicle rather than a specific model.

Meanwhile, I wish you'd provide a link to the blog you mention on your bio.

Loved reading both of your stories i thought they were very hot and believable. I think it was me inside that car with you when you pulled your pants down i would have had to eat your pussy cause that is one thing I can't help from doing

One other thing i think you should maybe do is put a picture of yourself on your bio i know fot myself it makes the stories you write that much sexier.

Just another male trying to write as a cheating whore. His biography is just too pathetic to be a real cheating bitch.

Interesting, sounded real.

Can't wait to read your husband kicked you to the street.

Well written. Why did you wait 7 years to write another story?

Good story, sounded true.