How My Mother Met You

Paul couldn't believe this. "That's fucking. I'm mean for lesbians that fucking, right? I don't believe this."

"It was just the once. We were drunk. It wasn't anything planned. Please listen, I'm sorry. Don't leave me." Lisa started to cry uncontrollably.

Paul looked at her. He had two tickets to Italy in his pocket and an engagement ring. She was pregnant with his child. He could either walk away or stay.

He stayed, even though he knew it was the wrong decision.

5.

Grunting heavily, Paul came inside his fiancé in his old bedroom in his mother's house. He hadn't proposed in Italy. They hadn't even gone as he'd needed more time to think. He had made the proposal eventually. They'd been looking round a newly built apartment block in Oxford, and, having decided to take it, it had seemed like the right time. He'd asked her to marry him in their future home, unfurnished and undecorated as it was.

Now that their love-making had finished, he could hear the bed upstairs squeaking. His mother was yelling "Roy, Roy, fuck me Roy." at the top of her voice.

They were now six weeks away from the wedding and eight weeks away from the estimated birthdate and her belly was now making sex more difficult. She lay down at the end of the bed and he stood on the floor, supporting himself either side so as not to put any weight on her. The sex was still good though obviously more difficult and far less energetic than it had been before. They'd worked out a way that made it possible, but he could no longer make her come from just penetration. Still, her belly, full with his child, was sexy in a way he'd never experienced before.

His old bedroom had become Lisa's room. Despite her promised that she wouldn't change much, it had new curtains, new floral bedding, a new throw-rug over the sofa as well as new cushions and a whole bunch of assorted feminine items scattered around everywhere. He'd asked her to move out as soon as possible, but she hadn't been able to find anywhere and, in any case, the new Oxford apartment wasn't ready and she still hadn't finished her course. He'd wanted her to move into a hotel room in the meantime, but, what with the wedding coming up, it really would be a financial squeeze. Somehow she was living with his mother despite the obvious reasons not to and he really wasn't at all happy about it.

In the meantime, he'd been avoiding his mother. Lisa had defended her, argued that he should forgive his mother just as he'd forgiven her. As it was they hadn't had a proper conversation for months. She'd still be at the wedding. If they'd still been speaking, she'd have insisted on a church do, but as it was he went ahead and booked a registry office. Neither he nor Lisa was particularly religious. He'd written an e-mail to his father, who'd wished him the best, but declined to come.

Lisa had wanted to wait until after the birth to have the ceremony. She didn't want to be a bride with a bump. Paul felt strongly that his son should be born in-wedlock, even if it made their wedding photographs look a bit shotgunny. The balance of power in their relationship had changed, so he got his way.

Having finished, he pulled out of her and looked around for some paper to clean up. "I've not cum," she moaned. "Why don't you finish me off."

"I'll get your Rabbit," he said turning towards a drawer.

"No," she said. "You know what I really want."

"And you know why I don't do that anymore," he said strongly. From the third floor upstairs his mother swore loudly that she was going to cum.

"How long are you going to keep blaming me," she said. "Can't things just be like they were before. Do you really love me, or are you just staying with me for the baby?"

It was a good question, but one that he didn't feel like answering for the third time this week. Upstairs his mother made good on her earlier statement. He tossed the vibrator onto the bed. "There you go. I'm going to sleep in the living room." Partly to avoid another argument, partly to get away from the sounds of his mother and partly from a strange new post-nut clarity that often gripped him these days, he had a strong desire not to be with her anymore. He pulled all his clothes on, he didn't want to bump into anyone when he was naked, least of all Roy.

"Babe, don't go." she said pleadingly, but he went anyway. This was a fairly typical scene from their relationship these days.

He went down and unfolded the sofa bed. The quilt they normally used was in his mother's room, so he settled for a cushion and large towel from the downstairs airing cupboard. He didn't feel like sleeping and gave up after only ten minutes. He'd left his phone in his jacket pocket in the bedroom. It was hanging on the door, so it was possible he might be able to just reach in and grab the whole coat without being noticed. He decided to risk it. When he got to the first floor, he saw his bedroom door was still open. He wondered if Lisa had gotten up to go to the loo. The bathroom light didn't seem to be on, but where else could she be? He quickly went in and retrieved his phone and went back downstairs. He looked in the kitchen. She had unusual cravings at unusual hours these day. He didn't really want to bump into her at this hour and start another argument, but he was curious. There was no-one there. He got back into his bed, such as it was.

He checked the news and the football scores, but he couldn't help noticing that there was no flush and no sounds of steps. After a few minutes he climbed back up the stairs quietly and check their room again. It was as he'd left it. He went upstairs. The door to his mother's room was open. He very gently leaned in. He'd been able to hear Roy's snoring from downstairs, and he could see a large lump in the duvet. He got the impression that his mother wasn't there, but he couldn't be sure.

The door to Marcy's room was shut. Technically he had been forbidden to ever enter there at the age of six and this policy had never been formally revoked, but he pushed the door open anyway. For a moment, he thought he heard movement, but then it stopped and the night was perfectly still again.

He turned the light on.

His mother and his future wife were lying on the bed in an embrace. As the light went on, theirs lips parted. As they sat up in bed, shocked at the intrusion, he saw that there was cum in both of their mouths. He didn't know if it was his own or Roy or both.

He ran out of the house, got in his car and drove all night back to Oxford.

6.

He saw them before they saw him. They were on the high street outside of River Island. His mother was pushing the pram and Lisa was holding her hand. They stopped as Lisa pointed out some dress in the window. As the turned back to continue on, his mother leant down and gave Lisa a full kiss. Even then they didn't see him, but he came closer and was unavoidable. His eyes met his mother's first and then, after she nudged Lisa, she finally saw him.

"Hello, dear," she said as if the past four months hadn't happened.

"Is that my son?" he asked indicating the pram. A rather redundant question in the situation, but it shifted the focus to where he wanted it.

"Would you like to hold him?" his mother said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Yes, please," he lifted his son up. The baby was mostly asleep, but for one second opened an eye and for the first time saw his father. Paul fell instantly in love. He held him for a moment or two and then kissed him on the forehead and put him back.

"We called him Adam. That was the name you wanted, wasn't it?" It had been. He had been half-surprised that they'd kept his favoured name, when Marcy had told him, but then maybe he shouldn't have been. That was the line they were following. They wanted things to be normal, as they were before, and he was the one who was causing all the trouble.

"Thank you," he said, "I just wanted to see him one time. I'll go now."

"Why don't you come back to us?" said Lisa, the first thing she had said so far.

"Lisa, why don't you go and try on that dress. It'll probably fit you now your figures starting to return. I'd like to have a talk alone with my son."

Lisa nodded reluctantly and went into the shop. The passivity would have been strange coming from the woman he had known a few months ago.

"It's not too late you know," she said. "We could be a proper family again. You could see Adam every day. Spend some time with Lisa."

"What," he said contemptuously "Share her with you?"

"Well, that's where we are now," his mother replied. "You didn't come. I thought after everything you still might. If you still loved her."

"Of course, I didn't come. The whole thing was a farce," he said with anger.

"Now that's not very progressive of you," his mother replied.

"You married my fiancé on my wedding day in the hall we had booked for ourselves, in the wedding dress we had chosen, and with the family heirloom we were going to use as a ring. So suddenly, at the age of forty-eight you decide you're a lesbian and you're going to marry someone twenty-five years younger than yourself. Someone who is eight months pregnant with your own son's child. You've been banging Roy on and off for five years and never thought of getting remarried, but suddenly my girlfriend is on the market for a couple of weeks and you decide to snap her up? That's not progressive. It's twisted." Passers-by weren't getting all of the conversation, but they were hearing enough to start to get really interested.

"Shut up. Let's walk," his mother said grabbing his hand and the pram, and leading them down a side street. "So let's have this out. She wasn't your fiancé because you abandoned her, as you mention, at eight months pregnant. You weren't returning her calls with her due date coming up. She needed someone. The child needed someone and I wasn't going to leave her on her own and I wasn't going to leave my grandson on his own. So yes, everything was booked already and rather than cancel it, we said 'what the hell' and maybe we rushed into it, but it was what we both wanted. And, yes, whatever you may think I actually love her. More than any of the bastards I've dated since your father left. More than your father even maybe. And, yes, I'm bisexual. I have been since my teens. The only reason you don't know is that I was married to your father all those years and I was monogamous with him, even if he wasn't. But it's all water under the bridge. Come back. We can still be a family."

"What, you're going to hand her over to me in an official ceremony?"

"No, Lisa is my wife now and I wouldn't give her up for anything. But she still has feelings for you, I know despite how you've hurt her. If you come back, you can lie with her sometimes. We'd like to have a little brother or sister for Adam one of these days and we'd like them to be full siblings."

Paul looked at her in disgust. She continued, "Of course, if you don't then we'll ask Roy. We're having a new family anyway. He'll probably make a better sperm-donner than he will a father, but we wouldn't have a choice."

Of course, his mother knew where all his buttons were. She put her head next to his ear and whispered, "Oh, don't worry, dear. He hasn't yet, what with the pregnancy and the birth and all. I must say though, he's been very keen. He loves watching me dribble his cum into her open mouth. But, you know what, I asked her to give him a blowjob last night and she flat out refused. I think she still wants to save herself for you. Isn't that nice?"

He pulled his head away. She continued in a normal voice, "Come back and I'll make sure yours is the only cock she ever has."

Paul looked at her. "I need time to think," he said.

7.

Paul leant on the railing on the balcony of his hotel room. It was another beautiful day. They'd all be beautiful days so far, but that was Rio for you. That he watched the sea coming in and out rather than the girls playing volleyball on the beach said a lot about his mental state recently. He took one last sip of his beer, finishing the glass.

He was still getting this new life sorted out. The lawyers back home hadn't given him a lot of options. It was a legal marriage. He was on the birth certificate as the father. He would be paying child support. No laws had been broken. Lisa was in the marriage of her own free will. There was not a lot he or they could do. So he'd looked for alternative options. He was here under a false identity -- Peter Trowsler. That cut him off from any future money from the patents and the community for his area of expertise was too small to risk trying to re-enter it, especially as he hadn't been able to get any new degree certificates made yet. But he had more than enough skills to make a liveable wage just from contract IT work, especially with the living cost in Brazil being significantly lower.

His father came out and handed him another cold beer, then, sensing his mood, left him alone. He'd been a rock really. As soon as he'd heard his troubles, he'd suggested taking on a fake identity as well and flying straight down to Brazil. It was too dangerous to use his real one to meet with Paul. He was an obvious lead if anyone came looking for him. He'd told Paul his full story including some things Paul really wished he'd know earlier.

Life was good in Brazil. He'd even started dating a young women called Maria. She'd lost her husband in a car-crash a few years ago and had a lovely little four-year old girl. She was traditional. The sex was traditional. The cooking was fantastic. If things had been different, they'd probably have moved in together already, but Paul didn't feel comfortable starting a real relationship with a false identity. He'd have to have that conversation with her soon and he wasn't sure how she'd take it. She was looking for something safer no doubt.

The first time he'd come to Rio had been a good opportunity to test out that the fake documents would work when they were really needed. The main reasons were however, were firstly to put some semen on ice, and then to have a vasectomy. They were potentially reversible, but it wasn't guaranteed. While he hoped he would have the opportunity for more children later in his life, he needed full control of his fertility.

When he returned to England, he signed the apartment and the rights to any of the profits for his patents over to Marcy with the instructions to use it for her own future. He'd squirrel away a float from his savings for his new life in Brazil through a byzantine series of transfers, but kept the amount relatively small so as not to attract suspicion.

Then he'd gone back to them.

Just like before, they'd said. Of course it wasn't. Lisa had cried when they'd made love again for the first time in months, but then instead of sleeping next to him, she'd gone up to his mother's room. Minutes after he and Lisa had finished, he heard his mother start to scream in ecstasy.

They kept their promise and kicked Roy to the curb as soon as Paul had gotten back. He'd left with no apparent hard feelings. As he was leaving, Lisa kissed him on the check. "You were a wonderful lover and we're sorry to see you go," she said. His planning had obviously taken too long, but he counted it as time well spent anyway. A few days later her pregnancy test came back positive. His mother insisted they all go out to celebrate. Paul didn't care. It would make things easier. Even with another man's child growing inside her, he continued to make love to her regularly. The blue pills helped.

He'd started to get to know Adam. He was a lovely baby, though he had his bad nights. All three of them took turns, and each one of them truly cared for him. Paul wasn't working at this point. He'd told them he wanted to spend a couple of month readjusting to this life, but would look for something soon.

He came home from the park one day, with Adam asleep, and found them naked in the living room. There were a couple of empty wine glasses and a half empty bottle of wine. His mother was pressing the Rabbit vibrator to her wife's pussy and sucking on a breast. As he entered, unsuspecting, she stopped for a second. "Paul, come and join us," she said, a speck of milk still clinging to her upper lip. He'd fled, murmuring something about taking Adam upstairs to bed.

Later, Lisa had come up to his room and given him a speech. She sobered up a bit now. It was well rehearsed and probably not entirely written by her. She started by telling him that she loved him and wanted him to be happy and comfortable. She stressed that they were a family and she wished that she could marry two people, but that Pamela was her wife now. And also, it might help, in certain situations, to think of her as Pamela rather than his mother. It wasn't fair on her to have to split her time between two lovers and two bedrooms, especially not with Adam so young. They should be united together. Also, he'd wanted to be the only man in the relationship and they'd honoured that, but that Pamela, as a woman, had certain needs as well and if he wanted that kind of exclusivity, then it was something he needed to be responsible for. They'd welcomed him back and things were going great generally, but they needed him to show some commitment now.

He'd agreed to everything immediately. As early evening came he made the final preparations. He told them to get ready in bed. He went to the kitchen and poured them both a glass of wine. He crushed four pills into each glass: the yellow ones, not the blue ones. He delivered the wine and told them he was going to take a shower. He ran the water for fifteen minutes, but stayed fully dressed in the bathroom exchanging messages with Marcy. When he came out, both of the women were unconscious in bed, collapsed naked on each other. He took all the phones, including the old ones in the electronics drawer, and cut the landline. He quietly picked up Adam and put him into his travel cot. As he'd hoped Adam woke momentarily, recognized his daddy and went back to sleep. It had taken him a few weeks to get to level of trust.

Paul put in him the car and then drove round the corner to where Marcy was waiting for him. She gave him the travel bag he'd left with her. He kissed his sister goodbye and she wished him luck.

The wish worked. It was tight, so he drove faster than the speed limit, but not fast enough to attract any police. By the time he got to the airport, check-in was already closing, but they fast-tracked the parent and infant and drove him in one of the carts straight to the gate. He was among the last to board, but he'd made it. No-one looked at his documents twice. They'd obviously been worth the high price as had been the last minute air-ticket.

Paul was snapped back from his thoughts by the sound of Adam waking up. "Don't worry," called his dad, "I've got him." Paul came through anyway to see his father cradling the child, who now officially went by the name of Samuel, and giving him a bottle. He'd have to get a paternity test for the child one of these days. Not now though, he wanted to use the fake documents as little as possible and a paternity test with just a foreign father and no mother would raise questions, be remembered and leave clues for anyone trying to find them. No, it didn't matter for the moment. He was sure he'd got a handle of the timeline of events and Adam was pretty certainly his rather than Roy's. He would hardly be able to dump him back at his mother's if he wasn't at this stage anyway. The boy was his responsibility now regardless.

Adam was sucking happily on the bottle, so Paul left them and went back to the balcony. He would ask Maria to move in, he decided. It would give them a bit of extra cover, it would give Adam an older sister, and more to the point, he was close to being in love again.