How to Be a Girlfriend Ch. 01

Kathy sniffed, "Okay".

"For starters, forget about what the church told you. That's bullshit!! That was just their way of controlling you. 'Sex is dirty, you must submit to your husband, no sex before marriage'. I suppose touching or kissing before marriage is wrong, too, because it might lead to sex."

"Yes, that's exactly what I was taught."

"If you want to bring God's wishes into it, why do you suppose He gave us erogenous zones, the pleasure centers? If you believe in God, don't you think He wants His children to be happy?"

"Casual sex is fun, and you have to practice somewhere, but sex between two people who love each other is the best thing there is. If I love you, then it is natural for me to want to give you pleasure. If you are just 'submitting', allowing me to do it, then I don't want it. Sorry, there I go talking in the first person. I warned you I might do that. No offense, please. You know what I mean."

"It's okay, like you explained, it's easier.'"

"Thanks, I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not hitting on you. Anyway, those last two guys you dated incorrectly assumed that you had some experience. The last one had no business cumming in your mouth without asking you your preference. Especially, the first time. Anybody that arrogant needs to have his ass kicked to the curb."

"That's basically what I did."

"And you were right to do that. When you get more experience, you'll be able to tell when a guy is about to cum. But for a first time, you were probably way too nervous to notice much of anything."

"You're right, but how can I get experience when I have problems even getting a second or third date?"

"Good question. Most young girls get to practice with guys in high school, and neither of them quite knows what they are doing, and they learn together. Because of your age, and that screwed up church, you missed that part of your education. The only thing I can suggest is you find a guy who is willing to be patient and guide you along. That's not going to be easy."

"Again, how do I get past those first few dates? I don't want to do it with just anyone, and some of these guys are Neanderthals."

"You might be insulting the Neanderthals, there. But, you know, because you're painfully gorgeous, most ordinary guys, like me, would never have the courage to ask you out. If I met you somewhere for the first time, I would appreciate your beauty, but I'd consider you so far out of my league, I'd be afraid to ask. You sorta project an air of being aloof, reserved or even cold. I'd almost expect a reply from you of "in your dreams, loser'. I think part of it is your perfect posture, the way you hold your head, the air of supreme confidence. Even when you're sitting at your desk, or in my office, your back is dead straight. You're not an ordinary woman by any stretch of the imagination."

"You're not an 'ordinary guy', David. Don't ever say that about yourself. You put all those losers I dated to shame."

"Aww, geez! Thanks, but I really don't think . . ."

"Stop right there! Just take the compliment. Lord knows you said enough nice things about me today."

"Just being honest with you, Kathy. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that the only guys that ask you out are the ones that consider themselves God's gift to women. Supremely confident to the point of arrogance. I'll be willing to bet most of them are salesmen or lawyers. They typically would take you as a challenge . . . fuck your brains out and brag about how they thawed you out. You don't need that. You're better than that. Uh, excuse my French. I got a little carried away."

"It's okay, you can say anything to me. I don't mind. So how do I get to meet a nice guy like you?"

"Just go about life in your usual way. You cross paths with men everywhere . . . the grocery store, the coffee shop, wherever. Just be yourself, smile, be friendly, and when you find someone interesting, you might have to ask him out for coffee. Then don't rush it. Get to know the guy. See if he's the one you might want to get intimate with, but give it time. "

"Apparently, somebody, I'm thinking Amber, told you the 'Rules for Dating' or what to expect for each date. Throw that out. Nobody decides when to make the next step but you. You will invite it when and if you're ready, and for God's sake, don't ever hold on to a loser thinking he will change, or that something is better than nothing, because it isn't."

Kathy was quiet for a long few minutes looking down in the dim light of the streetlamps at her fingers fidgeting in her lap.

"Uh, David? Would you uh . . . teach me?"

"Do what?"

"Teach me. Teach me how to be a girlfriend. Teach me how to behave, how to kiss, teach me everything you know about sex."

"Do you realize what you're asking? You can't learn anything like that by listening to me talk! I would have to demonstrate, give you practice and critique your performance."

"Do it! Whatever you need to do. I'm a blank slate. Fill me in!"

"Kathy, that isn't what I was trying to do tonight. I wasn't trying to seduce you. I just wanted to help!"

"I know. That's why I want it to be you. I know you would have my best interests at heart, and I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. You would be perfectly honest. I don't think I could ever find anybody better. Please?" She looked up at me, and I could see the tears in her eyes.

"Uh . . . this is unexpected. I don't know what to say . . . I'm flattered, but . . ."

"Say yes . . . please?"

"You know, you're pretty emotional right now after unloading all that baggage. Why don't I take you home and we can talk about this tomorrow. Give me a little time to think. I don't want either of us to make a rash decision we might regret later. Okay?"

"Okay, but just so you know, I'm sure."

I started the car. "I'll take you home. Where do you live?"

"My apartment is upstairs . . . over Duggan's. I can walk across the street, but thanks for the offer. I'll see you in the morning." She leaned across the center console and kissed my cheek. "G'night!"

"Goodnight Sweetie. You know I can't call you that in the office."

"I know."

She opened the door and walked across the street. I waited until I saw her enter the building through a side door, then drove home.

End of Chapter 1