How to Calm a Bull

You both will hereby agree not to socialize or otherwise engage outside the confines of your business office and that all interactions going forward in the office are limited to duties for the conduct of business that specifically require the two of you to interact. Such meetings will take place in the presence of others. That includes Christmas parties and other company functions whether I'm present or not. Doing so is a direct violation of rule 5 and will invoke the post nuptial agreement. You need to sign or old Jacko can hit the road. Clarice will witness and notarize the agreement as well as sign an affidavit that what has been said and videotaped is true and accurate."

"Jason, this is ridiculous! I'm not signing!" she said incensed.

"Goodbye Jacko!"

"Wait, I'll sign!" Jodie grabbed the pen and signed. Clarice signed and affixed her stamp.

"Thank you, Clarice!" I showed her to the door and then turned toward the now not so anxious couple and said, "I think its time to take it to the bedroom."

We arrived in our bedroom where Jodie had lit a bunch of candles. I grabbed her and pulled her in for another smoldering kiss but she refused to kiss me back. "Jodie, remember, ANY violations of my ground rules and were divorced! No second chances. During this time old Jackoff Jacko was busy removing his clothes. Jodie pulled away from me and did the same while she ignored my warning. As I started to remove my clothes Jack said, "Look old sport, there's been a slight change of plans. I'm going to fuck your wife, by myself and all night long. So, keep your clothes on "cucky" boy because you're leaving!" With that he shoved me into the wall and put his forearm across my neck. I looked at Jodie as she continued to strip naked.

Jack added, "Oh by the way, that agreement, you're gonna tear it up pronto and one other thing, I'm gonna keep bangin' Jodie when ever I want and wherever I want got it "cucky"? Good! You're dismissed!" He released his grip and walked over to Jodie. He grabbed her and started kissing her full on the lips. She gave some token resistance before she kissed him back. Then she spoke the words that ended our marriage, "Jason you need to leave and don't come back unless we call you! Oh, and be sure to be up bright and early to get breakfast for me and Jack! Got it "cucky" boy." She chuckled as she followed Jacko's lead thinking I'd accept the situation or perhaps she thought it was a joke. No difference, same results. A divorce.

I looked her dead in the eye and mustered as much despisement and hatred I could and said, "Look's like the threesome fantasy was nothing but as big a joke as our marriage was, well played. I hope the two of you will be very happy. You deserve each other." I spun around and quickly left the room and closed the door disappointed but not surprised. I surmised that this was Jacko's plan all along though I thought Angie would not agree so easily to break the rules and end us. However, unbeknownst to the unsuspecting lovers, in addition to the post nup I had a plan for such a contingency. I went downstairs and let in the two members of the security team used by my firm. I hired them off books for this little job at triple their normal hourly rate.

Because the government contracts we have require top secret and classified clearance and security, they are not just rent a cop's, they are former military intelligence operatives. Dressed in all black with balaclavas and dark glasses they made their way to the room where they pulled the couple apart and restrained them. They injected each of them with a drug cocktail using a combination of date rape drugs and sedatives to put them both out. Jodie was injected in her armpit and Jack in his hairy groin where it would most likely go unnoticed even in an exam.

The men then removed Jack to their black van that was parked inside the garage. That was the real reason I wanted Jack to move his vehicle. Inside the van, the walls, the floors, and upholstery were covered in plastic sheeting three times and the windows in the back were blacked out and covered as well. We all put on surgical gowns and gloves before proceeding to the task at hand. One of the men removed a 10-blade scalpel from a military field surgery kit. The second fired up an electric soldering gun plugged into a car charger. Once the tip on the soldering gun glowed bright red the man with a scalpel slapped in my hand and said, "Hey boss you have the honor!"

"My pleasure!" I replied. Each of the men grabbed old Jacko's scrotum on each side and stretched it taut. I swabbed his sac with betadine then alcohol before I took the knife and cut along the natural seam at the center of Jacko's ball sac and used the scalpel to make a 3" incision. Once opened, one of the men gave his balls a squeeze and his testicles popped up like the heads in a game of Whack A Mole.

I cut the tissue and removed both of his family jewels and then used the soldering iron to cauterize the vessels so he didn't bleed to death. I took some round porcelain orbs the boys provided and I sterilized them in alcohol before I shoved them inside his scrotum. I then used ethyl cyanoacrylate glue to seal the incision on his scrotum. I gave his new "stones" a jostle and they felt the right size and heft. The glue dried invisible. Aesthetically, his anatomy looked the same however, I was certain due to my lack of knowledge regarding the medical procedure I just concluded that his performance and functionality would never be the same. My hope was that I managed to prevent a post-op infection. I wanted the bastard to live and suffer for many years to come.

Jack was driven to an abandoned warehouse, removed from the van, and placed in a hazmat shower to clean him up. After he was finished, six gallons of industrial strength chlorine bleach was poured into the shower base and into the drain. We then dressed him in his clothes, returned to my house and one of the men placed him in his car and drove him home. The other followed in the van after they took my clothes and shoes with them to be disposed of. I showered, dressed, and proceeded to drink some bourbon and made sure I "spilled" some on my clothes. I had fell asleep on the sofa and waited for Jodie to roust me from my "drunken slumber."

About 9am she flew down the stairs and demanded to know where Jack was. I told her that as I was drinking my troubles away that he stumbled down the stairs about 11:30pm and said you were passed out so he decided to go and he left. I assume he's at home. She called and a groggy Jack finally answered. Jodie said, "Jack, I thought you planned to stay all night. Jason said you came downstairs at 11:30 last night after I had passed out and went home."

Jack couldn't remember for sure. So, he told her, "That must have been the way it happened. I "remember" that I really rocked your world after "cucky" left the room until you passed out. I must have got off several times because my balls ache terribly and they feel like they're petrified from overuse. Listen, I need a shower and to rest up for next time, I'll see you Monday." After she hung up with Jack, Jodie turned to look for me, but I had already dressed and made my way out the door and down the street. I had breakfast and savored the first part of my revenge.

When all this nonsense about a threesome began, I had hired the best shark of a divorce attorney out there and had him draw up a petition for divorce which I signed. After what I had witnessed this week, I knew nothing in the whole wide world could be done to save my marriage. I called him Friday afternoon and had him file it. He also helped me craft the post nup which with the recordings I made on my hidden cameras and phone provided me made the agreement iron clad and my divorce of infidelity a slam dunk.

Last night merely confirmed what I already knew to be true she'd continue trying to humiliate and cuckold me and I refused to be cuckolded, especially by that ballless wonder Jack. I'd have Jodie served at work on Monday afternoon as I needed time to collect her belongings that needed to be placed in storage until she found a place to live and put what didn't in her car. After I devoured my breakfast, I called Jodie.

"Jodie, listen, I need some time to process all this. You conspired with Jack and violated every rule we agreed to! Give me the day while you relax and get ready to go to dinner tonight at Jacques. We'll talk after dinner and see if there is any way past this. I'm not hopeful but I'll hear you out. Your car will pick you up at six sharp! Wear that dress and shoes you wore or should I say, barely wore last night." I hung up as she tried to apologize. I was a frequent customer of Jacques Moreau as it's the place where I smoozed clients by wining and dining them. Jacques was a master of French cuisine and he helped close many a deal for me over the years. I stopped by the restaurant and spoke with Jacques personally. I handed him the cooler that contained the secret ingredient for Jodie's "special appetizer" and he said, "For you, I'll make it delicious and look appetizing."

With that done I reserved a room at the Hilton for a few days and I called my boss at home and told him what was happening with my marriage without elaborating as to the particulars and that I needed next week off to get my ducks in a row and to get my divorce in the works. He understood completely and since I had accrued a great deal of vacation hours, he approved my request and wished me good luck.

When it was time for dinner, I sent a car service to pick Jodie up at the house and bring her to the restaurant. I told the driver to offer her some champagne and take about an hour to arrive. I watched as he pulled out with Jodie. I ran into the house and quickly packed more clothes for the weekend, toiletries, along with my computers and charging cords. I dressed for dinner after I loaded everything into my car. I made sure my personal papers and other important items were locked in my safe. I memorized a new combination before I changed it and then locked the door. I tried it several times successfully before I drove to Jacques. Jodie looked a vision in that dress that was way to short and left little to the imagination. As she sat there with a worried look on her face, she sipped the champagne Jacques had poured for her personally.

"Hello Jodie." I said as I reached the table.

"Jason, please forgive me, I'm so sorry." She was on the verge of tears.

"I replied, "I'm sure you are. Listen Jacques has prepared us a special tasting menu so why don't we relax, enjoy the wine and the exquisite food before we discuss any unpleasantries. I don't want to spoil the flavor and waste the ambiance. Here's to us!" I said as I lifted my champagne flute in a toast and we even clinked glasses before drinking. We finished off the bottle of wine and I ordered another as the appetizers arrived at the table. Jacques had his server place our appetizers. For you Mr. Jason I have cocktail de crevettes and for you, Ms. Jodie, Les boules du taureau. Dusted in cornstarch and sautés in butter and thyme. Enjoy!

I watched as Jodie put the delicate slices on her fork and place the delicate slices in her mouth. As she chewed, she smiled and when she finished, she told me, "This is delicious! You must try them. I barely avoided gagging at her suggestion as I told her no, they were prepared especially for her and for her to enjoy them." We finished dinner, dessert flambe and our café au laits laced with Chambord before finishing off the meal with a warmed and well-aged cognac from Jacques private stock.

At the end of the evening, I put Jodie back in the town car and she pleaded with me to come home. I told her, "I'll be home Monday, we'll talk then." I drove back to the Hilton with a satisfied smirk on my face. I had completed phases 1, 2 and 3 of my revenge. Phase 1, the rules, and signed post nup. Phase 2 was Jack's emasculation and Phase 3 at the restaurant. More about that in a minute. Monday came and I watched as Jodie pulled out and headed for work. I had my locksmith change the locks and I packed up her clothes, toiletries, and personal items into boxes. I felt generous so I gave her a few pots and pans, her sewing machine and all her knickknacks along with her grandmother's silver and of course, all our photos and wedding albums.

I then drove to the parking lot where she worked. I used my spare key to load everything into her car while the rest of the larger items were on a truck headed for a storage unit. I locked the door and left the car key and the storage unit key inside the console. I returned home and waited for the fireworks to begin. It was 2:45pm when my phone started ringing. It was Jodie. I answered, "Hello?"

"Don't hello me you bastard," she screamed, "I thought we were making progress toward working things out and now you have me served with divorce papers at work! Then you named Jack as a co-respondent and filed under adultery! How could you humiliate me like this Jason?" she sobbed heavily into the phone. I listened to her wail for a bit before I responded.

"You mean unlike the way you and old Jackoff humiliated me last Friday evening! Like the way you blatantly lied about the true nature of your involvement with that asshole. How you lied about the threesome and the way you and Jacko plotted to cuckhold me in my own house and in my own bed. How you disregarded my feelings, my wishes all so you could fuck that asshat? Good news is your free to fuck each other into oblivion for all I care!"

Her sobs got louder and then I heard the angry shouts from the big Jack wad himself. "Hey asshole, I just got fired and I'm gonna kill you as soon as I catch up to you! In the meantime, I'm gonna fuck your old lady into a quivering mass of flesh. She won't remember her own name much less you by the time I'm through! I'm moving into your house and I'll fuck her in your bed! Karma's a bitch."

I laughed. I swear I heard the steam coming out of his ears over the phone as he cussed and swore because I had laughed at him. When he finally slowed down to take a breath I began.

"Here's a newsflash Sherlock! First, that bitch is tainted goods and I wouldn't fuck her with your mother's cock. Second, she no longer has access to MY house! All that she owns is currently inside the trunk of her car and if you move her in with you, you just strengthen my divorce case. Three, you've got "stones" but I'll bet your not man enough to get it up and satisfy her little lone fuck her into oblivion. Four, if you come closer than the one thousand yards set forth in the order of protection, I'll be forced to defend myself from a threat to my life and property. Ask your slut about my arsenal! I'd suggest you shut your mouth and comply with the no contact order before I have your ass hauled off to jail. As much as I'd like to see a smile on old Bubba's face while he's pumping your dumper you've received fair warning. Put the slut back on the phone."

"Jason please, please, please don't do this!"

I replied, "Unlike you and your asshat, I keep my word and I've honored my contract. I know how much you liked that appetizer at Jacques the other night and how much you looked forward to ordering it again soon. Well, that will prove impossible. The ingredients were the only ones of their kind and can be imitated but never duplicated. You see, you had balls of the bull. Since Jack only had the one pair they were the rarest of delicacies. Tell old Jacko that he made me a cuckold but I made him an enunch as well as an appitizer but good luck proving it." I hung up to the sounds of retching.

Epilogue.

My lawyer was as good as promised and with all the evidence we collected the post nup was enforced and the divorce went through. Old Jacko went to the doctor and found out that his stones had been replaced by actual "stones", ceramic that is, and he tried to have me arrested. When Jacques was questioned, he told them he had served Jodie Rocky Mountain Oysters or bull testicles and he had an invoice to show he had ordered them three days prior to our dining at my request.

The police sent a forensic team over to search the house, garage, and my vehicles with a fine-toothed comb but they found zero forensic evidence that the crime in question had been committed there. After a while, the case went as cold as old Jacko's new set of stones. Of course, every time Jodie thought about it or looked below the belt of a man, she tossed her cookies and that prevented her from wanting to date since it was hard to avoid "thinking" about when on a date and since she wasn't wired for AC, she wore out a lot of vibrators and spent a fortune in batteries. They occasionally took the edge off but failed to provide the intimacy and feel that a real flesh and blood phallus provides which left her continually frustrated and lonely. She continues to spend countless hours in and dollars on therapy in an attempt to overcome her peculiar obsession and aversion to male genitalia but so far not much success. Though I hear she finally learned not to attend her sessions on a full stomach.

Old Jacko found that even with hormone replacement therapy he couldn't raise the old flagpole beyond half-staff on a good day and the majority of the time was impotent and as limp as a cooked noodle. Once women caught on to his lack of virility, he, like Jodie, spent his evenings alone but unlike Jodie, he couldn't even give himself a "good time" although the brain still told the body he had the desire. A horny toad without his horn to scrape and frustrated to the brink of insanity. I on the other hand, spent two full years exploring the single life and the charms it held but I missed companionship, that special connection one has with a life partner.

Now, I've met a wonderful woman, who like me was burned by a cheating spouse. We have dated exclusively for the past year and I slowly learned that I could trust a woman with my heart once again. I have planned on popping the question during a romantic cruise to the Mediterranean when we are docked on the Amalfi Coast. Angie caused a great deal of pain and suffering when her bull tried to hang the horns on me. Instead, I turned the tables and they both paid a high price for a few moments of lust. I literally and figuratively took the bull by the horns and in the end, he lost what he valued most, his balls followed by the secondary use of his manhood. If he only had one ball then he could have been off to the rodeo but what does a rodeo need with a gelding? Do I regret what I did? Not a chance in their private hell.