All Comments on 'How to Destroy a Perfect Marriage Ch. 04'

Dan is screwed. Carrie is a mental case psychopath just waiting for someone to light the fuse so she could go boom, and Dan and Janet just lit the fuse. All that's missing is a bucket of pig's blood.

In Carrie's mind, there is no forgiveness. Dan might as well just sign over the house, his car, the children, his baseball card collection, and his balls over to Carrie in the divorce because that's exactly what she'll be demanding, and that's exactly what Dan's gonna hand over. I don't read Dan as a man of thought and action, regardless of his 'evening bathroom pep talks'; he seems more of a childish, reactionary masochist who'll just accept the blame for the kidnapping and murder of the Lindbergh baby. "Yes, Your Honor, I wasn't born during that era, but I'm guilty of the kidnap and murder anyway because that's what my wife Carrie said, and she's always right."

And what happened to the black guy Carrie fucked? Who was that masked man? One fuck scene where Carrie gets the best fuckwhore slutbitch sex of her life and he's gone, just like that? "Shane! Come back, Shane! Carrie needs more BBC!"

Hurts don't it bitch. You can't have it both ways.

...but kinda feels a little like you're meandering the plot a bit. So, Dan will possibly enter into an affair with his co-worker in response to finding out he can't please his wife, Carrie gets a double dose of pain from both revealing that to him and finding out the revenge woman is...an old friend of his, and all the while their once perfect marriage is obviously circling the drain towards a sad conclusion.

I like it! But, once again, wandering the literary woods is not your friend, author. Find a way to reach your plot points better, perhaps a bit more succinctly than has been the norm for this series. Good luck, and looking forward to more!

I had high hopes this marriage would somehow survive after last chapter.

There was a cruel symmetry to how each spouse fucked up.

Now, Dan has outdone himself.

Even if he and Janet arrive at the motel and he changes mind at the last moment, I really see no way out of this mess now.

I am actually rooting for Carrie to go back to black cock and impale herself raw on that joystick.

No soup for you, Dan.

Looking forward to the next chapter. If this were a Novel I’d be hard pressed not to look ahead at the denouement.

A very heartfelt thank you for this fine story.

The death toll has rung for this marriage.

Really good!! Please don't let too much time pass between installments. I'm eager to see how this will play out.

It already seems as if a good counselor is the only way out.

Don't let too much time go by between installments, or readers can start to lose track. This has been a good ride so far.

Really liking this series. This went in a direction I didn't suspect. It was short, but still good.

Now we know...he wasn't any better than his wife...The wife opened the coffin, and he nailed it...what is missing? to bury the marriage...Who'll suffer? The children as always...3*

This is all over the place and progressing very slowly. The four chapters could have easily been one page so far.

Your story is entertaining. It appears to me as if you have reached a tipping point & you're not sure what direction you want take with it. Don't spread yourself thin & be true to your original idea.

in my experience the better stories are often completed upon posting

Too piecemeal. Too dithering and meandering. Too much irrelevant distracting detail: you had to tell us that Carrie was making sure the kids were brushing their teeth properly, and that she didn't lock the front door till everyone was outside the house. Like, why would she lock the front door if someone was still inside?

Perhaps its because I'm a husband, but I put 90% of this cluster fuck on Dan, and that was before he decided to become a cheating asshole. The most important sex organ is the most important marriage organ, the brain. The story is dissolving into a portrait of how stupid people fuck up their lives doing stupid stuff. Pretty mundane and common. Sure, Carrie was impetuous and short sighted. But Dan was weak and submissive when he should have asserted his doubts and insecurities, before allowing, FACILITATING, Carrie's BBC immolation. The suspense and drama are done. Now its just a matter of how you want to portray the marriage going down the drain, or how you intend to contrive its reconciliation. Just because a story is fiction does not mean it works to make it unreal.

Dan's and Carrie's marriage is over not because they starting fucking other people. It's over because they stopped being honest and communicating with each other. They then became selfish, then thoughtless, then cruel. Good luck making us believe they can recover what they never really had, a perfect marriage.

I'm not sure I like where you are going with this. In my mind, you could have had the one off with both of them, then gone in the direction of the trials and tribulations of either divorce or reconciliation and seen where that went. But to put Dan into an affair after all the heartache he went through, I'm not sure about that. You built a character with a particular mindset and to break it now might be counterproductive. Your story, though, and I'll keep following.

Think we're done here's another ch. Don't see a happy ending here.What's left is a lot of pain and hurt.Now it's cheating .Just because his pride is hurt doesn't mean he can cheat.And where did she find the black man .Did she meet him while Dan was gone from the house ? Their is not trust now marriage over.

Ego destroyed, with a sexy suitable substitute right there. Carrie was crushed enough watching what she had earned, but full-on cheating seems the final blow. I would recommend the death march not be made too long, or repetitive on the inner demons' dialogue. It's clear he killed any chance by watching the video so many times.

They both are screwed up, but Carrie doesn't love Dan at all and Dan loves her but is too weak to run his own life so there is no hope for a RAAC in this case, just bless the children and end it.

But how dare Dan fuck another woman?

Hypocrisy much?

One thing's for sure, this marriage is dead.

in a fashion that keeps tension and drama and the reader hungry for resolution.

Some grammatical errors, some sentences without verbs. But an amazingly well told story. Thanks for writing.

I would have liked Carrie's talk with her mother to play out. Mom was zeroing in on an important issue about how good the sex was with the stranger and just how much more Carrie gave the stranger than she ever gave her husband.

Janet falling so hard for Dan is an interesting turn.

This whole situation is abominably stupid but screwing a coworker was bad news.

No!!!! Please let him chicken out & go home!!!!

I didn't think you'd go this route with Dan starting an affair with Janet, but I guess it was inevitable really. After he watched his wife get fucked senseless by the black guy, that was it, the marriage was blown to pieces.

He loved his wife but she utterly destroyed his self-esteem by going so crazy for the BBC. Dan knows he can never compete with that, so he's not even bothering to try. Carrie seeing Dan making love to Janet wasn't as soul-destroying as what she did to him... but a full-blown love affair will crush her. Dan should have just ended it and got a divorce, but the guy agreed to let his wife fuck another man, so he's clearly not very bright!

Anyway, looking forward to the bloodbath in chapter 5!

now that is just tears coming out of my eyes stomach hurts from laughing hilarious.

How you like THEM apples bitch? ROFLOL

and believe me, i'm not here to insult your skills author. i think you have skills, but let me quote you here:

"Be honest with yourself, it's not Carrie's fault you don't do it for her. That ball's in your court. That's your problem, not hers."

This makes no sense, unless you plan on playing 4-D chess with us. If he doesn't do it for Carrie, that is HER problem. Imagine switching the genders, that might help you with any bias you grew up with. Imagine the husband found some young exotic asian woman and cheated on the wife for a while now. NOW I want you to use that same quote with reverse genders. The wife finally said in the mirror "Be honest with yourself, it's not his fault you don't do it for him. That ball's in your court. That's your problem, not his."

I don't blame you for that particular bias. Men still hold ALL the responsibility in society. Women have equal opportunity is the West, but it's categorically different when it comes to accountability. Even social stigmas, men are still seen as king of a castle. It was Carrie's fault to cheat, it was her choice to try less hard for her husband, it was her fault to avoid communicating that to him, and it was her fault for marrying him after test-driving him during a courtship that society promotes sexual exploration. I agree that the husband could have tried harder, but that's victim blaming. Like a battered wife that yells into the mirror, "it's YOUR fault he hits you....stupid! if only you'd have TRIED harder and DONE more he wouldn't get mad at you" Does that example help? Ultimately Carrie's choice was hers alone. He is not to blame. And I'm actually really worried that he carries this self loathing, and calls it an epiphany. It's super toxic. It'll ruin his progress in the future, that anxiety and blame he's carrying around for ultimately something his wife did. He didn't rip his wife's panties off and point a gun at her to fuck younger dudes.

I say all this, but maybe this was part of your plot line. To make the husband introduce more drama, self made, with really bad introspection and psychology. It'd be an interesting way to stretch out a story. And not all stories have happy endings. Some people, most people, don't grow much. They stagnate and suffer in their own mental prisons. Him getting sex and love elsewhere is probably the kick in the ass he needs to leave her. She doesn't love him, or at least the same amount. They both need serious emotional and mental growth. They need to understand that they're ultimately adults, get the fuck over their tantrums long enough to take responsibility for their offspring. And only then do they accept that they are in fact partly the bad guy...lovers are a dime a dozen...love can be lost forever without actual commitment...and if their past sins are too much. I also believe in equality, but cheating ruins that. You can never truly make the initial cheater feel the same way.

...So man-the-fucking-up and stop being angry at Carrie because you can't do the job dipshit...

In other words what the author is doing here it's blaming the man for the fact that his wife is a lying cheating whore ...and she thought so little of him ...she did not feel the need to tell her husband what she liked and how he could improve physically and sexually

This is just a vile and offensive man heating shit.

Quite frankly the author is a scumbag

If the wife had complained or dropped hints and the husband was an ass and did not respond or try and understand what his wife was talking about ..then if the wife stepped out he would have only his self to blame.

Instead there's absolutely no Fault being placed on the wife here at all.

Thank-you everyone who commented. Even the tough stuff ( thanks for commenting HDK). I learn from it all. Chapter 3 is not the chapter I intended to release at all. That was my 2nd to the last edit that, 'in error' posted. My mistake. All my error. Couple more twist coming. Just saying. But it's all fiction, right?

Fall is here. Holloween is coming. The weather has snapped. After Thanksgiving, Santa's coming - danoctober

Dan is not only an insecure wimp but a total fuck up and I can't imagine Carrie wanting him back if he continues his affair with Janet. Looking forward to your next installment.

To much bullshit for this story. need to to end at 3rd part but some writers just keep going like the energizing bunny

You portray both characters as fucked up get across their emotional pain. Then when it looks like equilibrium has been achieved, the train goes further off the rails. I'm not sure where the end is here, but I'm intrigued. It seems seeds have been planted toward reconciliation, but the getting there will likely involve burning the marriage to the ground before the phoenix can arise from the ashes.

I'm loving your experiment in this genre. My only suggestion is, take the story where you want it to end and don't base it off comments. That includes my own.

A good story, but just a story.

and maintain a quite resolve, TK U MLJ LV NV

Sometimes stories are over written or stretched out till they brake. Maybe you are there now. Enjoyed your writing style

I agree with toymandave. It should have just been a one off for both of them, then subsequent chapters consisting of them trying to fix the marriage. I also agree that having Dan cheat again with Janet isn't who his character is....its almost like there's two separate authors writing this story. Either Dan loves his wife & wants his marriage or he doesn't. Either he hates cheating or he doesn't. Don't flip flop his character's values & decisions.

As I said, I liked the story,

emial

I need more popcorn...this is gettin' good.

But not perfect because we're mostly just amateur writers learning our craft. Kudos to DanO for exposing his work to the slings and arrows of outrageous comments. Yes, the plot meanders and there are grammatical errors. It needs pruning. No, two wrongs don't make a right and I wouldn't have written the story that way, but DanO did and I'm fine with that. DanO's plot is interesting and I want to see what happens next, so by that measure it's a success. It always fascinates me how so many readers place themselves into the story and invest so much emotion in it. That's another measure of a writer's success, I think, and what makes the LW section so interesting. Write on, DanO!

While your grammar could use some work, this has sucked me in. My opinion is, it's your best work, whether or not i agree with the direction you are choosing. Keep up the good work.

It was stated in the title

I don’t like pointing fingers but she’s a dirty cunt and me personally would’ve told her to find an attorney the day she told me she was going to fuck a guy let alone some giant porno duck black guy. Now she’s mad and hubby didn’t do anything so I think they should just divorce now . It will be better for them and the kids in the long run. For me even if I was just told about what she did the image would alway pop back into my head but he listened watched and videoed it . DEVASTATING and same for her watching him. Just don’t want her turning this on him and he becomes some loser complaisant cuck.

When it was all about her she saw nothing wrong. She saw nothing wrong and could not understand why he was so upset. When he did the same thing she could not deal with it. I am quite sure what happened here happens every day acrossed the nation.

olddog has good points. I would add I can't imagine him wanting his wife back either. She started this shit. If she doesn't like it she can get. Personally the marriage would be over for me as soon as she asked permission to fuck someone else but then I'm not a cuck or a swinger. To each their own.

Good story. I entirely disagree with HDK about the length and the pacing. As for the trolls Id point out that none of them appears to have actually read the story but it wouldn't matter if they did. Trolls gonna troll. That's why ALL TROLLS MUST DIE!

Eagerly awaiting the next installment.

"In other words what the author is doing here it's blaming the man for the fact that his wife is a lying cheating whore..."

No, the author is portraying the lead character as thinking that way. A realistic portrayal given the character the author has created. You may have noticed, most of the characters in LW are f'ed up in the head. This lead character is just one more.

Wow,

If you're ever by again and see this, I want to say, " Thank you for your kind and constructive comments. I agree with you on 95% of what you suggested and you will see you and I are on the same page in the next chapter. Hopefully, I will post Chapter 5 for review tonight. Takes about 5 or 7 days to post on site. Again, thank you for your kind, intelligent comments, and suggestions. All were greatly appreciated. "

To all the other Anonymous posters who have sent emails either to say the story is ok or that it sucks and I should be burn at the stake for writing such trash, I'm cool with that too. I'm not that sensitive. To ALL, I thank everyone for even taking the time to write. Thank you all, Dan

I always have to wonder when a woman is asked, if the fuck with the big black cock wonder was better then the love making with her husband, they always say ( it was just different ) I guess, it is the( different )that makes them cry out to be fucked and fucked harder, and don't stop . Im not saying, just saying.

Needs to continue.

But she doesnt have any moral high ground at all. So if what i think is coming does happen she is still a unfaithful twat. Keep going DC im curious how this plays out so far so good.

Anony - It was a one time thing she did, she hadn't been doing a guy for weeks.

Harry- The author was not blaming things on Dan . . . .he's describing Dan's somewhat messed up thought process . . . a belief that Dan is probably over-prioritizing, and an obstacle that will have to be surmounted.

Several on here - As written, she did not cheat and was not unfaithful. She WAS very, very selfish, insensitive, and single-minded, but she did NOT go behind his back, and (though it was very reluctantly), he did go along with her . . . so there is no cheating, no being unfaithful, and no cuckolding going on here. He, on the other hand, has gone behind her back, has cheated, and has made her a cuckquean. Of course, none of this would have occurred if she hadn't coerced him into going along with her fantasy in the first place. No one's behaved well, and there's plenty of blame to go around.

Danoctober has set up a very frustrating situation where two decent but flawed people had a great marriage, got a little too prideful about it, made several bad decisions, and now are dealing with its ruin. One is filled with anger and a feeling of inadequacy, the other is filled with regret (though I suspect anger is coming in too).

The marriage is toast . . . I'm just curious to see if there's any way to resurrect, rebuild, or restart things.

It's a good, though frustrating read.

In my view Carrie has gone from being the 'villain' of the piece and been replaced by Dan (hopefully it's pure fiction cos if Dan is a reflection of danoctober I feel bad for you man).

Yes her selfishness got them to the start line, but he didn't stop it and now is compounding it by keeping on punishing himself and making more bad decisions. (I've read Ch5).

I could only give this and C5 4 stars as I feel they should have been posted together. Fingers crossed danoctober has a solid plan in place for resolution of this.

I disagree. She didn't cheat, per se, but she was certainly unfaithful. The definition of faithful:

2. (of a spouse or partner) never having a sexual relationship with anyone else.

Personally, I'd have seriously considered a divorce just for sincerely asking, let alone going through with it. She didn't just want a night with someone else - she wanted him to have to witness it and be humiliated, and since we are privy to her thoughts in this story, she intended to do this again in the future until it blew up in her face.

If she wanted him "involved" she'd have maybe gone for a threesome, but she was into the cuckold fetish, which involves humiliation ("make me your bitch!") and means she holds some level of contempt for her husband, no matter what she says.

What he's now doing with Janet is also wrong and a big mistake while he's supposedly trying to work on his marriage, but I think it's time for a divorce.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

Carrie created the situation. She carefully planned how to “ask” (manipulate) Dan.... the man lost his erection, she knew right then he didn’t like her idea. If not for how Carrie emasculated him, Dan would never have been in that situation with Janet.

Acquiescence is not consent. Carrie has to “own it”, and stop blaming Dan.

Having a tablet in my bathroom is so much better than a stack of magazine! I wake up...sorta...punch the button on the coffee machine (Deus ex machina) which is all set up by my wife before she leaves for work, make my bed, pour a cup of black coffee then go into the bathroom with it, sit down on the head, which I've just installed a new bidet toilet seat (which I strongly recommend) , take a sip and ooen my tablet to LW and sit in leisure reading, in this case, DanOctober's excellent tale. Do my thing, wash my ass as the coffee clears the cob webs. Then rise and start my day which will include a massage later. It's a beautiful crisp clear day that is just beginning for me. I can start my day with vindictiveness an my heart hoping tha t Carrie's spirit is about to be crushed into the dirt like a cigarette butt that ultimately starts a fire that destroys everything in it's path, uncontrolled despite the efforts to contain it. Maybe nobody physically dies but it kills everything that was beautiful. Time will let both of them recover eventually but the loss will always haunt the and effect in a bad way their future. I think that that is the nature of women and reading back, Carrie said that how she "arranged" the engagement of her black lover wasn't important, I think it may be the icing on this fallen cake. No matter what and why they decide to do, I do not think this cake can be unbaked. If they do keep it instead of tossing it, it's insides are spoiled beyond repair. She will live, hopefully in internal agony for destroying what she had. Perhaps as Dan said, he knows her and knows she eventually would go behind his back, it would wreck every good thing they had. Perhaps in that case Dan, not having to have witnessed it at least may get past it like his father on mother in law seem to have done her mom knows that her indiscretion is going to stick its head up again and open old wounds.

They say if you want to know what yoyr wife is going ti look like in 20 ir 30 yrs, look at her mother. But her mother didn't live in the fast paced instant gratifcition society. This is ugly and openm with her black lover standung in the wings. Grief all around. And she fired the first volley cause it was more than just one shot. Hope she lives in a world of shit for her betrayal, and betrayal it was cause regardless of the way it went down in this story, she was going ti have her fantasy one way or the other.

You use one possible definition, that ONLY works in a certain set of circumstances, and this doesn't fit that set. I would argue she was not truly unfaithful. The reason the definition you offered has a '2.' in front of it is because it is another POSSIBLE definition. Sex workers, polygamists, polyandrists, people with open or loose marriages are not being unfaithful if their sex with others is understood and allowable within the boundaries agreed upon within their marriages.

It's going outside of AGREED UPON boundaries that's breaks the faith. If you and a partner agree that sex with others is okay, but that you must never, ever let anyone touch your bare elbow (for anything other than medical reasons) for the rest of your lives . . . and then you secretly let a boy scout touch your elbow while helping you across the street while you're wearing short sleeves . . . then YOU have been unfaithful . . . not because of any of the sex acts you might have had with others, but because you had a strict well-defined 'elbow' rule that you agreed upon that you not only broke, but broke in a deceitful manner. If you promise your spouse NEVER to see a certain movie with anyone but her (or him), then you turn around and watch it with your mother, you have been unfaithful. You have betrayed the faith your spouse had in you that you would never do such a thing.

Again, the real point is communication, and in this case, communication of TRUE feelings, which this couple needs to work on if it's not already too late. He was unable to communicate his needed boundaries, and she was not sensitive enough to question his initial, reluctant agreement.

She wasn't written as wanting to humiliate him. This was a moderately experimental couple that enjoyed watching porn. Given that they were a bit exploratory, there was nothing wrong with asking about some fantasies. Her fantasy is both of them enjoying watching her have sex with another . . . making their own porn. There's no humiliation in this. It's something some more open couples try, enjoying watching their own sex more than that of others.

Again, like many others, you seem to WANT to have bad feelings about her that aren't really supported by the story. Quite simply, this is a couple that messed up badly. She got selfish, and was insensitive, but he agreed when he really shouldn't have, and both seem to have failed to really think through the many possible negative ramifications of this AGREED UPON action. Now she's filled with regret, and he seems to be filled with insecurities and what seems to possibly be a martyr complex.

They both need serious help.

No wonder this is long winded when the writer is a repetitive ass!

"Dan let it all go. Let it all go." Was the second 'let it all go' needed?

As another author has commented already, this site has amateur authors learning their trade (or words to that effect.) So don't harp on the typos. The author has already said he posted the wrong version for this chapter.

As for the story, it's deep. I love the way the author gives us peeks at the character's inner thoughts, very enlightening. And it shows how two people can be totally mistaken about what the other thinks. That can lead to some really messed up relationships.

It's a good story and we're getting lots of detail about what the characters feel. I like that the main characters are being well fleshed out - at least their inner thoughts are. The cut out non-dimensional children are not an issue so don't need to be fleshed out. The mother is two dimensional, but I suspect she was a cheater in her time as well. Wouldn't mind hearing about her. Maybe a spin off series.

Good story. Sorry I don't have time to read more today. Actually I have read it before, at least this far, but. it was so long ago I don't remember how it ends.

This marriage, as written, has a snowballs chance in hell, in surviving. You may write it differently, but the trust is gone..... all that remains is agony, self recrimination, and doubt.

This part seems to have been written after you took a blow to the head. I did enjoy the previous ones but this one turned into complete shit.

I feel bad that I had decent things to say about you now.

And KABOOM! goes a marriage. A great story to read…not so much to live.

This story is fascinating, albeit predictable. I can safely say that I am invested in this stupid couple’s situation, and I’m looking forward to the mushroom cloud in the distance.

If you Google clusterfuck, you'll find something like this....

I am enjoying this series. I have given each one⭐⭐⭐ up to this point. To me they are all Good Reads. But this one I added to my favorites. It didn't rate ⭐⭐⭐⭐ or ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ but the story is one of my favorites for the way you tell it. I may have to add the whole series.

My reasoning for adding is to share with others what I consider one of the best written versions of this type of tale.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Really, this is the direction we're going with this? How sad.

Mate you tell a great story but need a proofreader, badly. Lots of wrong and missing words used. For example "to make matters worse" not "worst".

Hoping Dan dumps her and moves in with Janet. She deserves that and much worse and he needs to move past this his cheating skank slut wife.

It was a 5 star until the writer made Dan yet another zombie male stereotype that falls for the first pussy he sees. He knew he had problems at home, and yet he is distracted enough to cheat on her. I SERIOUSLY hope it was worth it for the writer.

bad move Dan

Poorly motivated..bad character development.

OK, while the whole mental state of the MC is realistic, normal people in that situation go to one of them... what do you call them? Yes, THERAPISTS. Not fuck up their brain further.

Same comment as on the previous installment. If Carrie hadn't been obsessed with fucking a black guy and not had the smarts to not say and do the things she did with that black guy, none of this would be happening. It's all on her and the sooner she gets that fact, the better.

Another chapter and Carrie is still not accepting responsibility for her fixating on her bbc fantasy; failing to realize it was a real bad idea from the beginning; never attempting to reconsider her obsession in the days leading up to fulfilling it; and then opening enjoying the sex well beyond what she had ever done with her husband. If I was Dan, I would not have ultimately agreed to video Carrie fulfilling her fantasy. And I definitely, would not have reciprocated by having sex with another woman - two wrongs don't make a right & his actions with Janet didn't improve his marriage survival chances but only made them worse...causing Carrie to focus on her anger towards him instead of her responsibility for starting this mess. Finally Dan is absolutely correct that by the time she built up the courage to suggest fulfilling her bbc fantasy to husband - if he had said no - she would have done it behind his back. Her thought life was that out of control by that time.