Hunters Journey of Self Discovery

As I slipped my panties of, and climbed into bed, I tried to make light of it. "Anything I have is yours. I thought we were partners?"

"I thought so too, but when we were together, we brought everything together, things we had, were shared. Now, look around this room, there is nothing of mine except clothes. Everything, and I mean everything is yours, including the car. Now, can I borrow it or not?"

With a resigned sigh, I answered. "Of course you can."

She slipped into my arms and we kissed. Things seemed so tense between us, I know I had become a little distant, but I worried constantly about Dad, and his situation. Mother as slowly falling apart, I had never in my life seen her so disorientated, so lost. She fussed over Dad like crazy. He couldn't move without her being at his side.

I took a great deal of time the morning of our first day on the job. I wanted to look perfect. I brought a new business suit, shoes, the works. As I finished dressing, Annie glanced up from beneath the covers. "Wow, you look fierce."

I leaned down to give her a kiss goodbye. "Thank you, I needed to hear that."

"Kick arse babes. Show the little fuckers who's boss."

Dad and I walked in together a little later than usual. Dad wanted to make a grand entrance. We walked in hand in hand, the large glass doors swinging open silently. The sharp intake of breath from all those who recognised me, turned the room into a vacuum. The air pressure fell to match the temperature.

Ryan, looked completely horrified. Dad did warn me that he had already spoken to Ryan, he was put in charge while Dad was in hospital and getting treatment.

He walked up and greeted me with a handshake. "Hunter, so nice to see you. Returned to help out have you?" His demeanour was pleasant, but I sensed the unease.

"Something like that. Nice to see you looking well Ryan. We will have to catch up later."

Dad showed me into his office and shut the door behind us. Several day prior he had given me notes to read on the current situation. We went back over those notes, and he opened up his computer. Firing it up, he invited me to sit beside him as he went through the more vital information. The financials, and client listings. He called Jessica his PA in and asked her to arrange a ten o'clock meeting for all senior members of staff, to be held in the executive board room.

Dad and I discussed positions and who would be best suited for a role as my second in command. Dad thought, Ryan, would be to very unhappy at being overlooked, and would probably resign and move on anyway, but if he stayed, might actually cause more harm than good. His problem of course was even with a restructure, he couldn't demote him, he had done a reasonable job in his absence. We would be stuck with him until he moved on. Dad warned. "Just keep a damned close eye on him."

Murray, the CFO, would remain, but some of the senior account managers would be reassigned.

There were lots of worried faces as we stood together at the head of the table. Dad started with his own announcement.

"All right people. You have all heard the rumours, and there is truth too them. I am indeed sick, and my condition is terminal." At that admission there was a collective outpouring of grief and comforting words. Dad was a very popular man, and a great boss. He had built this team himself. He paid well, and he ran it like it was a family business. Most of the people in the room were his friends. He and Murray had been friends before Dad started the company, and he had been onboard from the outset.

Dad, restarted. "The reason Hunter is here today is, she will be taking over when I step aside. This is going to be Hunters business when I finally let go of the reins."

The room went silent. Murray of course already knew, but this was news to everybody else.

"Folks, there will be a few changes as we move people into roles so they can support Hunter. You all know her, she will continue to run the business as it always has been. Nobody in this room needs to worry about their job, or salaries. Any positional changes are to give support to Hunter. She has selected the people she wants to work closely with."

Ryan was the first to ask. "What about my position?"

I jumped in ahead of Dad. "Ryan, you will remain second in charge. I hope we can work together as closely as we always did. I will be leaning heavily on you through the early stages."

I took my time, letting that settle before adding. "People, I will need every single one of you to step up. I can't do this on my own."

Dad chimed in with. "I have every confidence in you as a team. Pease support Hunter as you supported me, and the company will grow. She is going to be setting new goals, she will do things her way, but will still follow all the values and principles we have always endorsed."

After we closed off the meeting, dad was swamped by well wishes, and hugs and words of complement. I have to say it was very tearful. It took a lot more out of Dad than he expected and although he tried to battle through, he got Mum to come and pick him up.

He would have been gone less than a few minutes before Ryan walked in. "Can we talk please Hunter?"

"Yes, pull the door closed, and grab a seat."

He glared at me across the desk, it wasn't anger, didatisfaction definitely, annoyance, yes. "All right Hunter, let's clear the air. I was expecting to take over. Your Father more or less intimated that would be happening. What are your intentions?"

"My intentions are simple. I want to carry on as we are. It will be business as usual."

"I see." He muttered annoyance seeping through. "What about me?"

I merged my fingers together and leaned over the desk on my elbows. "Ryan, Dad is dying. It is going to be very hard. I am already heartbroken. I am going to need you to step up. Dad has only a short while with us. God knows how long he can continue to come in. Once that ceases, I will take over for good. Once that happens, I will need you because, I will not be here much. I want to spend as much time with him as possible."

"After that?" He snapped quickly.

"After that, I don't know. My intention is to carry on as Dad always has. There will be no changes in the way we do business. It will be up to us to convince our clients that they have nothing to fear. We will be offering the same high quality service we always have."

He stood up quickly and paced around. "What about me Hunter. I have put everything into this company. You pissed off on your voyage of self discovery. It was me who kept this company going. Your father has been absent for a long time, I mean physically he was here, but mentally he offered nothing. It was me, all me."

"And we appreciate that Ryan. Let's be honest, that was your role. You were second in charge, stepping up and taking control is what was expected. You did nothing we weren't expecting."

"Oh fuck off. You snotty little brat. You fuck off to god knows where, and I have to hold the fort, then when you get back, I'm just supposed to step aside and let you take over. Fuck that."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Ryan." I said through gritted teeth. "If you are not happy, then I suggest you move on. This company has always been a close one. We have always been a team. If you aren't prepared to be part of the team, I would rather you left."

He stormed back to my desk, his weight on his hands as he leaned close. His face centimetres from mine. "Fuck you Hunter. You always were a snotty nosed little bitch. You walk back in here as if you never left. You walked out on him. You fucking deserted him. Why the fuck should you get the top job. It was mine. He told me so."

I stood up quickly, sucking in a deep breath, I snarled. "He said no such thing. He told me that he was going to sell if I didn't take the job. What's more, he told you that, so do not try to bullshit me. I said it before, if you are not happy the door is open, close it on the way out."

He slammed his fist down making my laptop bounce. "Yeah, good fucking advice. You heard it here first. I quit."

I nodded. "That is your choice Ryan. We will be sad to lose you. There will be no need to work out your notice. Clean out your desk, I will arrange for your full salary and bonus to be paid into your account overnight."

"Fuck you bitch, fuck you. That was my job." He beat his fist on his chest like an angry Gorilla. "My fucking job." He paced around angrily. Waved his arms to include everybody in the building. "Do you think any of the others will stay? Nobody wants to work for a fucking woman with no bloody experience. They will all leave, every single one of them. When I go, they'll all follow."

"I hope that's not the case, but if they do, they do. We can always find more people."

He turned and stormed out, he couldn't help throwing back one final slur. "Fuck you bitch."

Thankfully he was wrong. Nobody left, in fact most of the team were pleased to see me back. I had always got on well with all but a few chauvinistic shits.

That night when I got home, Dad was in bed, it was Mum who asked. "Well, how did it go? Your first day as CEO?"

"Not so good. Ryan quit."

Mum, showing more intuition than I expected replied. "Good, sneaky little shit. That will make your father very happy. Let's have a drink to celebrate."

Annie stood silently, fidgeting. "I have some news as well."

I smiled, accepting her hand in mine. "Tell us then. Don't keep secrets."

"I got a job." She announced proudly.

I pulled her into a tight embrace, and we kissed passionately. "Oh babe, that is such good news. What are you going to be doing?"

"Waitressing, at the Golden dragon. It's just up the road, so nice and close, and only day-shift, no night-shifts."

"Awesome, I'm so pleased. We will get staff discounts as well."

Mum cut us off. "Waitressing, surely you could do better. Hunter, why not get her a job at the firm?"

Annie snapped back quickly. "Waitressing was good enough for us before, and I'm happy with that."

I laughed, trying to disarm the growing tension. "Yes Mother, we waitressed in hundreds of places." I turned back and kissed Annie again. "I'm glad, well done you."

She sighed with an unhappy exhale. "Thanks cuzzie."

"Well i am disappointed. Annie, if you want to be part of this family, there are expectations, and waitress, is not acceptable."

"Tough shit." Annie spat out, before storming away. Mum passed me the glass of wine she had poured. "That girl, she really needs to grow up."

"Mother, stop it. Annie is my partner, I love her, and she is going to be part of my life forever. If you can't be civil, then we will move out. I would hate to miss out on spending time with Dad, but if you push Annie away, that is what will happen."

She moved closer to me, her hand resting on my arm. "Darling, are you sure? I mean, I understand, you needed a friend, but really, she is very uncouth, and good lord, a lesbian."

I snatched my arm from her grasp and walked away. "Never question my love for Annie. She is my life."

I found Annie out back working with Aisha on preparing dinner. She saw me walk in. "Don't say a word, that woman is insufferable. I know she's your mum, but I'm not putting up with that shit."

"You don't have to. I certainly don't expect you to. If she behaves badly, tell her. I already have. I told her to lay off."

"Thanks babe, wow, she is a bitch."

Aisha looked very sad. "You are wrong, she loves you Hunter. She is sad for your Father. She is distracted and angry at the world."

Things were tense through dinner. Dad made an appearance, and we talked back and forth about Ryan leaving. As Mum predicted, he was happy.

Annie sat quietly without saying a word. Mum joined in from time to time, but it was mostly work.

I sensed a rift between Annie and myself. Things were cooler. Even our lovemaking, usually so passionate and fulfilling was more mechanical.

I made a conscious decision to surround myself with people I trusted. There were several women in the team, and it was them I went to. Without fail, they all agreed to become part of a leadership team.

It was Dad's suggestion that we have a small function, invite all of the employees so we could do some bonding away from the office. It was just what Mum needed, she went crazy. She took over arrangements, a large marquee for the yard, caterers, music, security, she did it all.

Annie kept right out of it unntil Mother announced at the dinner table. "Annie, I think we should scedule an appointment at the beauty salon, and perhaps we could go shopping. You are going to need a formal gown for the party."

"Why?" Annie asked.

"Well, you are going to meet all of Hunters associates, and if you are going to be her partner, then you will need to look the part."

I cringed hearing Mum carry on like that. Dad noticed. I think he tried to suppress the growing tide of resentment. "I don't know about the beauty parlour. Annie, it would be hard for them to improve on what god has given you. I think you are a very beautiful young woman, but I would love to see you in a beautiful flowing gown, the belle of the ball as it were."

Annie giggled at his flattery. "You pretty full of yourself for a married man."

He chuckled with her. "I have always loved the female form, you my dear are a truly beautiful young woman. My daughter is a very lucky woman."

Annie couldn't stay mad, even although Mum huffed haughtily hearing Dads flattery.

"I'm not getting dressed up like some Cinderella rip off. I am who I am Hunter." Annie grumbled when we were alone. "If I'm not good enough for you, just say so now, and we can end this fucking charade."

"I felt tears welling up and I was struggling to keep them under control. "Annie, there's no big deal, it's a formal dinner. Music, dancing. If you don't want to wear a gown, then don't."

"Nuts to that. Your bloody Mother will hate me if I don't, she can barely stand to be in a room with me as it is. She couldn't wait to get me into a salon and cut my dreads off."

"No." I bawled. "I don't want you to change. I love your dreads, they are you. I'll tell Mum again."

"What are you going to wear?" She asked me.

"Depends on what you wear. If you wear, a gown, then so will I. Dad was right about that. I would love to see you dressed up. It could be wonderful, we could go out shopping together. Find something we both like. I'll let you choose mine."

She giggled. "Oh is that a dare?"

"No, just an offer. I'm being serious, I would love to see you in something all glitzy and shimmery."

"Oh yeah, you're a fucking Princess."

The party arrived; Annie looked spectacular, so beautiful, her white lace gown, hugged her curves so delightfully, her hair filled with multi coloured braids looked amazing. When my Father saw her, he gasped in astonishment. "Oh my dear, you are entirely to beautiful for this world."

The introductions raised a few eyebrows. It certainly made a few people uncomfortable. Dad took great delight in introducing his new Daughter in-law. Mother on the other hand cringed every time he said it. When she introduced Annie, it was as her Daughters friend.

Mother also hated hearing Annie proudly tell anyone who asked that she was a waitress at the Golden Dragon.

Mothers attitude angered me, but I just wanted to get through the night.

The party highlighted the difficulties, Mother's total disregard for Annie was horrifying. The only thing making me hold on was Dad. I desperately wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I made the decision to try and act as Annie's shield, and deflect my Mothers anger towards her, just to make it happen.

It was worth it, just to have that time with him.

Unfortunately, he didn't have that long, he fought a brave fight, right to the painful bitter end.

The day he passed will live with me forever. It as the most painful, beautiful thing I have ever endured. His love for all of us shone through his excruciating pain. He embraced Annie, held her as tight as he held me and Mum.

With the funeral behind us, it became harder to play Annie's protector . Dad had been the glue holding us all together, now he was gone, Mother took out all her anger on Annie. I watched it happening, it was like a horror movie. I tried to push it aside, buried in a mountain of work I fought hard to keep my promise to Dad. I wanted the company to succeed. I worked long hard hours, and I neglected Annie. I could see it, I felt it, and the burning sunlight of our relationship dimmed. We made love less and less. The intimacy replaced by ever more bitter arguments about my Mother, and the way she treated Annie.

It felt like being trapped in an eddy current, you watch as somthing is sucked down the plug hole, disappearing ever faster the closer you get to the eye.

We never had a huge big blow up argument. There was no bitter world ending explosion. One night I got home from the office late, when I found Annie, she had packed everything she owned into her trusty old backpack and was sitting on the bed waiting for me.

"Sorry Hunter, I'm leaving. I can't live like this. The house is toxic. Your Mother rants at Aisha and me, you sit silently by and watch. I'm leaving."

Words, I wish I had some insightful world changing pearl of wisdom, something that would explain how I felt, that would make it all all right, but no. I had nothing. Every syllable dried up in meaningless murky fog.

She stared at me, expressionless, her blank lifeless eyes said it all.

She walked past me with a single word. "Bye..."

I cried for two days, curled up on my bed, I sobbed until my body withered, deprived of fluids, I thought I might die.

Aisha, ever my saviour came to my rescue. She forced me to drink, forced me to eat. Opened my bedroom windows exposing me to the life affirming airflow.

"Miss Hunter, the air that flows in this window, will always be there. Breathe in, feel the life. Let it fill your body with new life. Miss Annie is gone, but she is still here. Learn to love again."

I tried, god I tried. I worked hard, I tried to ignore my Mother who probably thought she was doing the right thing by inviting every single guy she could find to our house for dinner.

I forgave her, she suffered more than me. The centre of her Universe had been sucked from her arms, and now she was alone. I heard her often, crying in the dark, when she thought nobody could hear. She put up a strong facade. She went mad organising charity events, working at every foundation that accepted her.

I tried to find Annie, I rang constantly, either she wasn't taking my calls, or she had a new number. Every day, my life darkened. I worked, I ate, I slept, with the aid of sleeping tablets. The hole Annie left in my heart got bigger. At night I scrolled through the millions of photos I stored in the cloud. It became my life preserver. As I watched the stream of photos, I recalled Dad's words. "That girl has a talent. Believe me Hunter, these are good, to good to just sit and rot."

Those thoughts evolved into a plan, I didn't own those photos, I had no rights to them, but I wanted the world to see them.

Over a few days I phoned every realestate salesperson I knew, and I hunted down what would be the perfect Gallery. Run down and beaten up, it needed remodelling. When Mother saw me leaving Saturday morning wearing my ugly old coveralls I wore when working with Dad in the garage. She asked. "Where are you going?"

"I brought a building. It needs redecorating and some remodelling work. I'm meeting a contractor there in an hour. He is giving me a quote."

"You brought a what?"

"A gallery mother, or rather a building that used to be a gallery. Now it is a run down filthy mess. I am giving it a second chance."

She looked stunned. "Could I come with you darling?"